Chapter 57: From Depth to Shoal

Are you sure about this... ?

Back down by the house, I found Frej in the garage. He was peering closely at a tangle of wires.

“These new electronics...” he grumbled. “They are all so small and impossible to fix... ! Or maybe I need glasses.”

I laughed as best I could with the tremors that seemed to be creeping into me from all sides.

I haven’t been sure of anything lately...

“Need a break?” I asked.

He tossed the thing onto the worktable and grinned at me. “Yes, that is enough for today.”

“How about a few days break, then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Any chance you want to go visit your sister?”

His face immediately fell serious as he studied me. “Have you heard news, from... ?”

I shrugged, thinking that if I told him what I’d just witnessed, he’d laugh me out of the place. Then again, if anyone would believe an utterly impossible story about a fish and the sea, it would be this boat captain. Regardless, today he’d just have to trust me.

“Maybe,” I replied. “One way or another, Lara and I want to go up there. We thought you could help us drive.”

Frej nodded appreciatively. “When?”

I gave him an apologetic look. “As soon as we can. Lara is already packing. Is half an hour too soon?”

He only took one deep breath. “We will go see Fru Sarah.”

I nodded, glad at how easily he’d been convinced. I could see the conflict in his eyes, the almost fearful uncertainty mixed with utterly unconditional hope.

I followed him inside, humming a random tune, a fragment of a million songs. It was needed accompaniment to the underlying rhythmic earthquake that was warming up within me. We found my mom relaxing on the couch with a book. Frej moved near her and caressed her hair, a gesture I’d never seen him do before.

“I will take Matt and Lara to the house of my sister,” he announced.

Sarah was as unflappable as ever. She looked up at him with a warm smile and then at me. I made no effort to hide my own growing mix of feelings.

“You know where the keys are,” she finally said.

“Thanks, Mom.”

She smiled at me. “Say hello to Birgitte from us, all right?”

“Sure,” I replied evenly, knowing what she really meant. “You’re okay with us just going up right now?”

“I am. And I really hope it goes well,” she added. “But no matter what, remember what we talked about on the beach.”

“You really are the coolest, you know?” I said.

“I’ll remember that for the future.”

“Give Mom a hug from me, and we’ll be back, uh ... I don’t know when. No idea what’ll happen.”

She rose to give me a hug. “Do what you have to do.”

Frej only knew the town where Birgitte lived, but not the address, having left it back at his place in Montauk. He wanted to call to get some directions, since he couldn’t remember the way from when he’d visited her the previous summer. I asked him not to.

“We’ll find it one way or another,” I said.

“But it would be good to call Birgitte to tell her that we will be visiting,” he insisted.

I shook my head and stayed firm. I promised that I would never call ... Not even now.

He eventually acquiesced, despite grumbling about politeness and such.

I phoned Clara to let her know I would be out of town for a little while, and Lara did the same with her minimal potential obligations. We were rather unattached to things, and therefore it was easy to sever everything at a moment’s notice. Besides, by the time anyone else missed us, we’d be back home.

Less than an hour later, we were on the road. We would need to stay in a hotel somewhere, because a straight drive would put us there well past midnight. The ride was fairly quiet, although Frej would occasionally reminisce about growing up with his sister in Denmark, and their common love of the sea. He had always been more into fishing the depths, while Birgitte preferred the plant life and pleasures of shellfish near the shoals.

We took turns at the wheel, eventually pulling into a motel just outside of Bangor that looked decent enough. I insisted on paying, and the desk clerk figured that we were still a couple of hours from our destination. It seemed closer than that on the map, compared to how far we’d come, but we would be leaving the interstate and the roads would slow down considerably.

No one was opposed to continuing on at first light, which I figured would be a little earlier than it was back home, since we were further north. Probably right around five... We therefore turned in as soon as we could. I lay in bed, working on the butterflies in my stomach. I’d been able to stay fairly calm until then, but come morning we’d be heading to see my—no, I didn’t even know if I could say that anymore. We’d be heading there to find out what had happened to our old friend since we all leapt, on the night of the park concert. Find out who she was now, where she was going, and if the path Lara and I were on had any chance of merging with hers, even if just for a day or two.

Heck, I’ll take half an hour...

If she’s even still there...

It was fortunate that I fell asleep at all that night, because even the breathing wasn’t helping as much as it usually did. My dreams were strange and immemorable, and it seemed that only a few minutes passed before I rolled over and slapped at the alarm clock, repeatedly and unsuccessfully.

It felt too early, but the faint dawn glow I spied through the crack in the curtains defended the screeching timepiece, saying that it was indeed the time we’d all agreed on. Finally, I yanked the cord out of the wall. After stretching a bit in the sudden silence, I nudged Lara next to me, tried again without success to calm the foreign-feeling nerves, and then got up. When I emerged from the bathroom, I saw Frej sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Good morning,” he said quietly.

“Morning. Sleep well?”

“Yes, well enough.”

“Good. I’m going to go check out and then we can go.”

I prodded Lara again.

“Is it really time?” she asked.

“It is.”

I expected her to groan, roll over, and keep snoozing. Surprisingly, she rose from bed straight away. She gave me a hug on her way to the bathroom.

“I’m feeling crazy nervous,” she whispered.

“Me too. But just remember, we have each other, sis. No matter what.”

She squeezed me tight and then went to get ready.

I took a deep breath. That infinitely small aperture was getting closer by the minute. I just hoped we’d be able to squeeze through it.

The sun was risen and starting to deliver its morning light when we drove into the town. I pulled up to a small store, following morning workers inside to get their coffee before they set out to harvest their yields, whether on land or beneath water. I grabbed some drinks from the cooler and stood in line.

“Excuse me,” I said, tapping the shoulder of the man standing in front of me. “I’m looking for a seaweed, uh...” I suddenly realized I didn’t even know what such a thing would be called.

“You want to find some seaweed?” he asked, eyeing me strangely. “Ocean’s just down the road apiece!”

“Well, sure. But what I’m trying to say is that I’m looking for a place around here that collects seaweed and sells it. A store, or a business.”

The man frowned as he searched his mental knowledge of the area.

“I can’t say I know of such a place, sorry. Unless you mean some of the fish markets. They might have something like that.”

“Pretty sure it’s just a seaweed-selling place.”

“You will want to take the road east from here and go over the river,” came a voice behind me.

I turned around. “Oh, you know the place?”

“It is called Birgitte’s Farm.”

“That’s it!” I exclaimed. “So we take the road east, and then... ?”

She proceeded to give me directions. I had to grin, as road names were never even considered. “Past the blue trailhead sign, turn at the house with the fish mailbox...”

I thanked my guide profusely. After paying for the drinks, I rushed to the car.

“We’re about fifteen minutes away,” I gushed.

“You know where to go?” Lara asked.

“Uh, maybe? We’ll soon find out!”

I repeated all that the woman had said, so Lara could keep a backup copy in her brain. I was too unsteady now to trust myself past the first turn. Then again, I figured that Lara might be feeling the same way.

I sat in the back, unbelted and wedged between Frej and Lara’s seats, scanning the road with utmost concentration. One by one, we knocked down the singular directions. In the end, they proved remarkably effective, announcing themselves by their very uniqueness. Frej confirmed each one as he recognized the route again from his previous visit. At last there were no instructions left besides ‘You will see the place down that road.’

Frej drove slowly as the ribbon of packed dirt wound on and on. Lara spotted it first, a small wooden sign. “Birgitte’s Farm!” she called out.

He slowed to a stop in the middle of the road, fifty feet before the entrance. It was an odd maneuver, since nothing blocked our way.

“Frej?” Lara asked, concerned.

He turned to us, his eyes emotional. “I know you want to talk with her, alone. I will visit with Birgitte, so you can do that. Take as long as you want.”

“That’s very kind of you, but are you sure?” Lara asked. “You want to see her as much as we do.”

“Yes. But I am old, and you are not. And she is my ... future. Our future. So go and be with her. I will talk with her later, or tomorrow ... When there is time again. I can wait.”

Lara wrapped her arms around the big man. “Thank you so much, Frej, for driving, and ... for everything.”

He nodded. “Let us go in now.”

“I hope they’re not all sleeping,” I said, glancing at the clock and feeling a bit worried that it wasn’t quite seven-thirty yet.

“Even if they are, I’m sure no one will mind waking up,” Lara murmured.

The house that came into view was modest but well-kept. Small vegetable gardens flourished in the peak of Maine’s short summer season. To the inland side of the home, low shrubs that had a purple cast to them spread across sectioned pieces of land, in front of a thick forest that grew up the hillside. These woods wrapped around the back of the house and to the other side, but in that direction the trees thinned just enough to give us a glimpse of what appeared to be a drop-off that looked over the coastal flats of a cove. Beyond that, small islands dotted the shimmering gateway to the vast and endless sea herself.

The sea...

I shivered deeply, since it was an utterly thrilling sight.

We’re here...

After we exited the vehicle, Frej gave us each a squeeze of the shoulders as we looked around. I did everything I could to keep calm. Perhaps what helped most was the fear of making a foolish spectacle of things in front of Frej and Birgitte.

Lara was feeling the same as me, because she asked, “Frej, would you be willing to find out where Heather is? And if she’s inside, can you please ask her to come out?”

He nodded, and Lara and I watched as he took the path through the flowers to reach the house. Instead of knocking, he pulled a piece of paper down from the front door. After reading it, he turned and indicated a direction around the side of the house and toward the water. A moment later, he grabbed the door handle, gave us a wave and a smile, and let himself inside of his sister’s home.

For a time, we just stood there by the car. All was quiet, except for nature herself. The whispering rustle of verdant plants, the soaring buzz of calling insects, the lilting jigs and reels of carefree birds ... All of it pressed in on us. But it all was a mere undertone, in the end. It easily faded into the background as the sound of the sea, distant yet so close, splashed into our ears with ever more insistence.

Breathe...

“Ready?” I finally asked, having to try three times to get anything to sound in my throat.

Lara nodded unsteadily. “I’m shaking so bad right now.”

“Me too. Let’s go before it gets any worse.”

Arm in arm, we walked up the rest of the driveway in the direction Frej had indicated. The dirt track soon petered out into a grassy area. We were very happy to see Heather’s car tucked in a spot behind a work shed. Tufts of grass grew against its wheels and under the edges of the frame, where the lawnmower was not quite able to reach its prey.

“Whoa ... Check it out,” Lara said quietly.

I followed her pointing finger to look at the rear of the house. There was a long series of rustic wooden arbors. Countless lines were strung between the slats, some of which were filled with copious amounts of hanging seaweed, desiccating slowly in the salty air.

We wandered a little further, unsure what to do. Then we came across a gap in the brush that grew at the edge of the forest. This marked the start of a trail that led down in the general direction of the water. A stone slab carved with the word ‘Private’ sat right in the middle of the path, impossible to miss between the trunks of two old oak trees.

Hopefully that’s meant for everyone in the world except for two people...

After taking a long look at each other, we moved around the barrier and wound our way through the trees. With each step, the sense of peace grew deeper and older. The feeling of the gardens and house behind us quickly fell away, and all the energy came from in front of us now, as if a different world was opening up.

Curving around a rock formation, we found ourselves in a small encampment. I could barely breathe as I took in the setting. A decent-sized tent was nestled inside of what was essentially a small cave in the rocky wall, shrouded by a curtain of tarpaulins that was held open by a rope. A familiar waterproof camera housing was hanging on a suspended clothesline, next to a couple of wetsuits. Off to the side of the clearing, an ashen fire pit waited to be fed from the pile of dead leaves and kindling that sat next to it. A camp stove, a frying pan, a large pot, a familiar plastic bucket, and very little else rounded out the location.

“Damn ... Feels just like home,” I murmured.

“This is amazing,” Lara said, striding toward the water. “And look at the view!”

I joined her at the edge of the camp. Beyond a sparse row of trees, the earth abruptly ended and fell away to an expanse of tidal stones that led into the shallows.

“Incredible...” I whispered, awed at this perch.

We stood there for a long while, taking in the inspiring panorama. The quiet bustle at the narrow edge of immensity ... It was simply spectacular, like we’d never seen it before, really. The sea ... It had been the end of everything we held dear. So it might be the beginning, too.

The beginning, of all of it...

We had to start making our own stitches now, whatever we found here.

The view remained intoxicating, a living and breathing scene. We ended up sitting down on a nearby rock to continue our admiration of the slow-motion picture.

She was, obviously, nowhere to be seen. Still, we did not wait ... Not really. We had so much to take in.

A half-hour may have passed and we both saw it at the same time. A small rowboat had come into view around the jutting land mass and it was clear that it was aiming right for the camp.

I grabbed desperately onto Lara’s arm as my head grew woozy. The free-fall we’d started so long ago had always been a journey through mist. But now...

Once the boat had passed through a barrier of rocks and into the calm tidal waters, it started forming a wake that slowly split the small bay. A solitary figure pulled on the oars with ease. It took me a second to realize that the bow of the craft was adorned with a bushy beard of sea vegetables.

“Are you all right?” Lara asked, her voice barely sounding.

I managed a nod.

“Then let’s go,” she urged.

We found the steep path that led down to sea level. Well, Lara found it. I was grateful for that, since I realized I was fast becoming useless. Months of work, all of it disintegrating so easily under the weight of the moment.

No matter, though... I had the rest of my life to learn to stay the course. Right now, I just wanted to keep falling.

We picked our way downward among the rough and rocky trail, keeping half an eye on the approaching rowboat. It was the hardest thing not to simply leap off of the fifty-foot high escarpment to speed up the process. But this wasn’t the Montauk pier. Only sharp rocks would greet me down there.

At last we reached the bottom. We could see the boat easing into stony shallows some hundred yards away. Lara and I started off as fast as we could, given the uneven terrain.

I was about to explode as someone got out of the craft, wearing a wetsuit, stepping into knee-deep water...

Then, like a lost ship entering the sweet comforting range of a lighthouse, I was close enough to tell for sure...

It’s her...

“It’s her,” Lara gasped at the same time, even as we looked at each other in wonder.

‘It’s her, and us,’ she seemed to say to me, even as I thought this myself.

As we pressed on, we could hardly believe what we were seeing ... an absolute vision. Closer, still ... We could make out her face as she stood there, watching us.

She’s smiling ... She’s smiling ... She’s smiling... !

This was all that could be heard in my head, two ebullient words that screamed and shouted to make themselves known over a deep, roaring sound that grew by the second and threatened to rip us into a million pieces.

It was the roar of the sea! A great sapphire wall, endless as far as the eye could see, fully formed, alive and breathing, and approaching now at incomprehensible speed. Soon we would smash through the surface and splash down into her caress.

Lara gripped my hand even tighter...

Closer now...

Those eyes ... That smile...

That life, it’s all there, just like it used to be...

And yet there was, impossibly, so much more in there as well.

Childlike, she watched us, smiling and taking in the scene as if she too had just recently arrived and never seen any of it before.

Most desperately of all, I could see that she was happy. Truly so.

I dared another glance at Lara, and her ecstatic expression sent me over the edge. The world became too much. We stormed into the shallows, splashing as we ran, making a joyous commotion. But I could no longer see. The tide had risen up in my eyes. I felt myself trip, falling down on my knees, utterly overwhelmed. I clambered to my feet again, only to fall face first into the saline water, my eyes burning in concert with my heart now. I felt Lara pulling on my hand, her exuberant voice urging me up once again even as she struggled to control herself. She was laughing, laughing so freely. As was I, even though I was blind, my salted vision useless.

We were all in the sea now, having landed safely, unbelievably, somehow ... All that remained was to find each other in the waters.

I can’t see ... And...

Breathe—

No, it was impossible. Breathing would now have to wait until the world unpaused itself again. There was no future, no past, not when the world was paused.

She is here and Lara is here. With me.

The three of us are here, together...

Such simple and foolish ideas these were, and yet they seemed to crash around in my head as if they were the greatest of all discoveries, reverberating through us both even as Lara finally let go of my hand...

And so it was that the three of us smashed into each other, at last.

The tidal flats suddenly exploded in my blind mind, the shockwave seeming to expand radially and infinitely, swiping away the coastline, the rocks, the trees, the tiny crustaceans, everything but the sea. All of that grew smaller as it faded so quickly into the distance. The water swirled around us, leaping and dancing as we laughed and cried, and held each other, clinging to the growing edge of all things.

We were alone, floating ... A surreal reintegration that was like nothing any of us had ever felt before.

My vision cleared ... We looked at each other... Incredible! The things that Lara and I had learnt ourselves, somehow I found all those things flashing in her blue eyes as well. And then I knew, no matter what happened next, that everything was right in the universe again.

We embraced in the water, first steps in the way of finding out who we were now, together. There was no need for words, not that I could have unlocked my throat if I wanted to.

Heather looked absolutely stunning. It seemed she could not stop smiling. Indeed, neither could Lara or I, but Heather’s smile was so thoroughly joyous that it felt as if she’d been smiling this way for a while now. Just like Lara and I had been, I realized. And still she gazed at us, and also at the world, as if seeing it for the first time. It was an incredible sight.

Like meeting her for the first time ... Again...

At last, we collapsed into the shallows and grinned at each other. The initial thrashing intensity of reunion was settling down into a deep and moving undercurrent. Finally, some sense of reality seeped back in. For a moment, questions, desires, and answers filled my head, making the world spin. I wanted so much to watch Lara kiss her, and kiss her myself ... But it was enough, for now, to see her, to feel our fingers intertwined as we held hands in a close circle as the sea still danced around us, echoes of the recent collision that were spreading through the cove and beyond.

“It’s been a while since we jumped,” Heather murmured.

Her soft voice sent a deep tingle down my spine.

“Yeah. And somehow, we’re here,” I replied, afraid to speak louder lest it constrict my throat again.

“I know ... So happy right now!” Heather gushed.

“We are too,” Lara said. “It’s so amazing to see you, Heather!”

“Worth waiting for?” she asked, her eyes squinting as she giggled freely.

“Like nothing else in this world,” I breathed, still very much on the edge of losing it.

“Wow, is this really happening?” Lara whispered.