Chapter 45: The Best Part of Us

The talent show was in full swing. Ready or not, the acts were cycling on and off the stage with inevitable tempo. This time around, Green Space had opened the show, and The Nameless would soon close it.

“I hope Pete keeps it together,” I said to Lara, as we stood in the wing watching a kid play a rather impressive classical piece on the piano.

“He will. Muireann seems to have a calming influence on him.”

“Yeah, I noticed. She’s been so helpful in dealing with Pete these last few weeks, I swear.”

“An angel,” she murmured.

I sniffed. “Funny, she might say the same about someone else.”

Lara gave me an odd look. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing ... So, are you going to make sure Pete shines tonight?”

“Of course I will. Why would you say that?”

“Everyone’s going to be watching you.”

She raised a brow at me. “Is that so?”

“You look amazing in that dress,” I explained. “Oh, and you’re singing!”

She smiled at me. “I won’t be a spotlight hog, if that’s what you mean. Not that I ever am.”

“Mm hmm...”

“And Pete will get his share of it. Though I wonder if that’s what he’d really want.”

“No, you’re right. Too much spotlight wouldn’t be good,” I agreed.

“Probably just getting rid of Skinner is enough for him.”

“For sure ... I feel bad about that now.”

“About Skinner? Why?” she asked, making a face.

“No, about Muireann. She’s been a bit, I don’t know ... anxious, ever since she told him off.”

“Well, standing up to people like that can be hard.”

“Yeah, and she was incredible, even if I am mad at myself for letting her do it.”

Lara caressed my shoulder. “I think it was for the best. Who knows what would’ve happened if you got into it with those guys. I think it would have been a lot worse.”

I shivered. “You’re probably right. Still ... Muireann’s antsy and uneasy now.”

“Maybe she’s afraid of dancing with you!”

I laughed. “I didn’t think of that. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll be great up there.” I put my arm on her shoulder. “I know you say you’re okay with all of this stuff with Pete, but are you?”

She nodded slowly. “I am. It’s not been completely painless to play with him again, because of everything ... But it seems like maybe he’s finally seeing that we’re through. And that makes it easier now.”

“Yeah, I hear you. Any feelings left for him?” I asked gently.

She shook her head. “Not like that ... Not now. I mean, I have a lot of memories with him, and I’m sad for what he’s been going through ... And I do feel bad that some of that is on me.”

“Not really. It’s on him. And on me and the rest of the guys. He knows he fucked up, Lara, and I don’t think he blames you at all. He was just gutted about it and had no one to talk to.”

“I know ... Still, I could’ve done things differently.”

“We all could have, but you owed him nothing after what he did. Everything you ever shared with him, he killed it. That’s not true with me.”

Lara gave me a squeeze. “Well, it’s all slipping into the past, now...”

The pianist finished his piece to rousing applause.

“Yeah ... I really do think he’s starting to get over you. He even said as much.”

She eyed me. “When?”

“Earlier today, before we rushed off to find Skinner, he called and was wanting to invite someone to the dance,” I explained. “And it wasn’t you.”

She didn’t seem too surprised. “Muireann...”

“He was trying to be nice, since he figured I’d have ... a date, you know.”

For a long moment she looked at me. “Well, luckily you still do,” she consoled, rubbing my back.

I gazed back at her. “Yeah, but I can’t help but wonder...”

“Wonder what?”

I finally shrugged. “Nothing. You need to get out there!” I said, smiling at her. “Now come on, go kick some ass. I’m going to enjoy watching you from out there for a change.”

She pulled me into a hug. “And I’m going to miss you.”

“I know. But we have next weekend at Jonah’s to make up for it.”

She nodded as she backed away. “I can’t wait. And I have to say, I really like your suit. Even if it isn’t ‘in the know’... !”

“Nah, it’s you that’s not in the know, sis!”

She gave me a wave as she stepped out onto the stage behind the drop curtain. The area was a sea of instruments, since Green Space had left their equipment there in the rush, pulled off to the sides. Lara checked in with Pete, and then joined Tommy who was talking to his sister. After a brief exchange, Muireann gave him a squeeze and then walked over to where I waited.

“Is Tommy having a good time?” I asked.

“Always,” Muireann replied.

“Well, now that we’ve done what we can, are you finally ready to go relax?”

She shrugged. “I feel we should keep watch at the door. Just in case Skinner comes back and tries something daft.”

I sniffed. “Oh, I think he won’t, Miss Miri.”

She grinned somewhat shyly at me. “That wasn’t meant to be my new nickname, Gwen.”

“Jeez, and Gwen isn’t mine! After what you did to Skinner, it should be yours!”

“I almost think you feel sorry for him.”

“Sorry for Skinner... ?” I sniffed and then shrugged. “Well, I actually kind of do. No one seems to like him. But enough about that dude. I’m glad he’s gone. And as for you, as long as you’re wearing the dress, you’re Miss Miri to me!”

She held my gaze for a long moment, and then nodded. “Very well, let’s go ‘relax’.”

The auditorium was crowded but we spotted two open seats in the middle of a long row filled mostly with parents. Apologizing frequently, we climbed over legs and purses. The announcer was already introducing the band, and the curtains slid apart just as we sat. Since the audience was fully involved in the show by now, the cheering was loud.

In the end, the five of them had decided to play some numbers from the good old days, before the split. It was the safest and most crowd-pleasing route, despite them flirting with the idea of playing newer and noisier stuff. It was Pete that made the call, and it was a good decision. A number of people were out of their seats before the first chorus was over, and the mood was upbeat. Muireann and I sang along – me more than her, but it was fun for both of us.

And Lara was a star. As I knew, everyone was watching her first and foremost, drawn to her presence and her voice. This was true for me as much as anyone. She’d long since shed any self-consciousness on the stage, and her performance was spot on.

But more importantly, she found a way to shine her endless light on Pete, without him even knowing it.

“Thank you!” Lara cried out, waving a hand at the cheering audience. Muireann and I were standing up, shouting and clapping, and this got some other people around us to do the same.

“Before you go, we actually have one more special surprise for you,” Lara continued.

“What’s this?” Muireann asked me, as the crowd settled down again to listen.

“I’m not sure,” I replied, as we sat down.

Lara was grinning broadly now. “We have a special guest joining us to play another song!”

An appreciative sound went through the audience. Now Muireann nudged me, the same wide grin on her face.

“What are you smiling at?” I protested. “I’m not going up there, if that’s what you mean.”

“I think you are. Look, isn’t that your amplifier that they’re wheeling onto the stage?”

“What?” I sat up, peering. “Oh shit ... I think it is!”

Lara continued, “So he didn’t want to play a song tonight, because he thought it would take the spotlight away from things. But we don’t care about that, so he’s going to do it anyway. On guitar, please welcome...”

Muireann nudged me again. I remained stone still.

“The one and only Dr. Kendall!”

“What!” Muireann cried, while the crowd cheered as loudly as they had all night.

“I told you all along I wasn’t playing the show!” I yelled, laughing. “Now do you believe me?”

She just shook her head disapprovingly at me. On stage, Dr. K was in shades and a tie-dye shirt, and he was certainly milking the moment as he stepped to the microphone after shaking hands with the band.

“Wow, I was expecting all boos,” he said to laughter. “Then again, I haven’t played yet, so ... Now, we’re not quite ready to play this last song for you. Since I need all the help I can get, we need to get a few more people up here.”

Muireann raised a brow at me.

“Hope springs eternal...” I teased, grinning at her. I was suddenly feeling nervous, though. I myself had asked our principal if he would play this encore with them, but extra guests?

Lara, you better not have... !

But Dr. Kendall was waving into the wings, and then Jake, Colin and crew came onto the stage.

“Let’s hear it for Green Space, everyone!” Dr. Kendall announced.

“Whoa ... Now this part I didn’t know!” I said.

It was impossible not to grin and make what noise we could as the super-band got set up.

I leaned over. “I guess Pete got his wish after all.”

“Not everyone. I think he’s waving to us.”

I looked, finding that Muireann was right. Pete had spotted us in the crowd and was gesturing invitingly. I just kept shaking my head, though, and eventually he gave up with amused resignation.

Guitars and drums started making preparatory noises and then the group was ready. They wasted no further time, launching into a version of Truckin’. I had to grin as our principal stepped to the mic.

Whoa, he’s going to sing, too!

The aisles filled up with people dancing, even more than before.

“Should we, uh ... get warmed up for the night?” I asked Muireann, holding my hand out to her.

“I thought you weren’t much into dancing.”

“Really depends on the situation. I used to take lessons, you know.”

She looked at me in fright. “You never said that!”

“I guess I forgot to tell you! So what do you say?”

She shrugged, and in another moment we were again scooting past people’s knees to reach the side aisle. But there were much fewer of them still sitting down, now that the groove was high. We joined the mass of people swaying and bouncing, taking each other’s hands. We weren’t good dancers, one dance lesson notwithstanding ... But neither of us cared just then.

The hall lights came on once the long final applause had subsided, and the magic of the show started to dissipate so easily ... I realized it didn’t matter what side of the stage edge I was on; I always felt drained and wished for quiet when the music stopped. Still, I wanted to see my friends and congratulate them, so Muireann and I found our way to the wings, where we ran into Dr. Kendall, his electric guitar still strapped on his person.

“Ah-ha, time for the reaction from the critics. How was it?” he asked conspiratorially.

“You were awesome!” I replied. “It was so cool to see you up there.”

“Aye, and a great guitar solo!” Muireann added.

“Good answers,” he teased. “Very smart of you both! Come to my office on Monday and I’ll give you your ‘get out of detention’ cards!”

Muireann and I had to laugh.

“And thanks for the use of your amplifier, Matt. Mine would definitely have been too small. Carl sure plays loud!”

“Yeah, he can bash those things pretty good,” I said with a grin.

“Now that you’re a rock star, maybe you can scale up your amp,” Muireann suggested.

“I think my rock star days are too few and far between for that. And my wife will have a different opinion on scaling up!”

“You should let Muireann talk to her,” I suggested. “She can be very convincing.”

Muireann rolled her eyes as Dr. Kendall chuckled.

“Maybe next time,” he said. “I’m glad to see everyone having a good time tonight. Including Pete, it seemed.”

“Yeah, for sure,” I said quietly. “Thanks for helping with that.”

“Oh, his parents just needed a little nudge. They’re good people.”

“I know. I didn’t realize that there was family stuff going on there.”

He nodded. “Indeed. But I’ve taken up too much of your time already. You have a dance to get to, and friends to see, so I’ll let you get to it. Enjoy your evening!”

He moved on, but we laughed when he was immediately assailed by another group of kids.

“We have a pretty damn cool principal,” I said.

“Aye, we do.”

“Hey!” Pete called out, spotting us in the darkness. He rushed to us. I gripped his hand, and then he took a surprised Muireann into a tight hug. He pulled back, grinning large.

“Did it go all right?” he asked.

“Of course it did,” I said. “You know that.”

He nodded. “It felt good. It was just missing you two up here. I’m really kicking myself for not making you play with us.”

“Oh, but we were too busy dancing,” Muireann said with a smile.

“We had to squeeze it in while we could,” I added.

He smirked. “Whatever. You have all night for that.”

“Well, sort of,” I said, glancing at Muireann and exchanging a small confirming nod with her.

“Huh?”

Muireann got his attention. “Pete ... do you want to go to the dance?”

He was flabbergasted as he looked back and forth between us.

“What? I thought you two were going together.”

She nodded. “We are. But if you want to go, you can join us. If you don’t mind sharing me,” she added, laughing a bit self-consciously.

“And look, I don’t like dancing all that much, so I’m totally down with the idea,” I confided.

He remained uncertain. “Are you sure?”

“We’re all going to be hanging out as a group anyway. It’ll be fun. I mean, unless you had other plans?”

“Not really.”

“Then join in.”

He took a breath, and then slowly came to his decision. “All right ... Yeah, I’ll do it.”

“Good,” I said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Now get packed up so we can get the party started!”

He gave me a long look, and then nodded. “Yeah ... I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

As he went back to his equipment, Muireann and I found each other’s hands and intertwined them. For a time we stood there side by side in the duskiness of the wings, silent and unmoving, watching the bustle of everything being put away. One by one, all events were coming to their end. Too soon I’d be sweeping clean the stage of my mind, packing things up and clearing the dust, all that would remain of Ireland’s visit. Far too soon ... and then what?

“Come on,” she murmured. “We should go be with them all.”

“Aye, lass, we should,” I replied, gaining a much-needed eye roll to dispel the future and return to the present.

The dance was an exercise in sinking and floating. Alice and her new guy joined us, and despite all formalized invitations and couplings, there were no third wheels. Colin, being even less physically gifted on the dance floor than the rest of us guys, was always happy for someone to take Shannon out. In fact, I found myself dancing with her for much of the early part of the night, so that Pete would feel comfortable with Muireann on his own. Well, comfortable might not describe the first few times they danced, but he eventually seemed to tolerate it!

I was surprised to find that I could remember a good deal of what Clara had taught me, little as it was. Look into her eyes... It was great to feel that old connection with Shannon, from the days before everything changed. I was very happy for her and Colin, of course, but a small part of me missed the time when we were both headed in the same direction for a while, floating on the same stream.

Eventually we worked up a good heartbeat, but in the end, the most challenging dance with Shannon turned out to be a slow one. I was pretty good at wrapping my arms around her, even though I kept it much less intimate than I had the previous year. For Colin’s benefit... But as I looked over her shoulder at an ocean of black outfits, I kept seeing flashes of red. They were hallucinations, of course, the echoes of a very strong memory that continually surged in to my senses, unbidden. Sinking...

“What are you thinking about, Matty?” she murmured into my ear.

I took some time to answer. “About the last time we did this, here in the gym.”

“I figured as much. Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I am. At least, a part of me is fine ... The other part, not so much...”

“Oh, Matty...”

“Shan, don’t tell me the answer to the actual question ... But if I did ask you about her, about whether you knew if she was coming tonight ... Would you tell me the truth?”

I felt her sigh in my arms. It didn’t take her long to reply.

“If I can ever bring you any peace, you know I’ll do it. So yeah, if you ask me, I will tell you the truth.”

We danced on, quiet, the red dress still flitting between the sea of silhouettes. Muireann and Pete swayed by, and then Lara and Tommy floated in and out of my vision. Like leaves on the water, they circled on unseen currents even as we did the same.

The song ended, as they all do, and the DJ lifted the energy with a faster beat. My friends separated, returning to the side of the gym where there would be more laughter and camaraderie. But Shannon and I held to each other, still swaying to the rhythm of the sea ... She knew I wasn’t going to ask, so she pulled me against her tightly, intimately... For my benefit...

“I’m so sorry, Matty ... I hope that she’ll be back soon.”

In time, our group dwindled. Alice and her friend settled into the darker reaches of the gym, and then left altogether. Since she was driving us home, I knew they hadn’t called it a night, but rather they were escaping the long looks of the dance monitors. Colin and Shannon eventually took off for a party at Jake’s house. It was a bittersweet departure, because I’d been relying on Shannon far too much the past hour. Colin didn’t mind, of course, but I needed to surface again. It was far too easy to cling to her and sulk about what once used to be. I even encouraged them to head out.

When I returned from walking the pair out to the car, I found Muireann sitting on the bleachers near the gym doors, alone. A scan of the diminishing crowd of students soon revealed that Lara and Tommy had returned to the floor.

“Where’s Pete?” I asked, as I took a seat next to her. “Did he go home?”

“Not quite,” she said, turning to look at something. I followed her gaze, and saw my friend sitting at our previous location, talking and laughing with two girls.

“Wow ... Did you put him up to that?”

“No,” she denied. “They put him up to it. It seems he has some new fans of his music.”

“Nice. But did he really ditch you?”

She shook her head. “After they came up to us, I excused myself to use the toilets, and let them be.”

“Are they into My Bloody Valentine?” I joked.

“Time will tell,” she replied quietly.

I glanced at her. “How are you doing?”

“A wee bit tired,” she admitted.

“Me too. I’m ready to go home and chill. Too much crazy, today.”

“Aye, Matt,” she agreed, rising and pulling on my arm. “But we should go out there, while we’re here.”

“I thought you didn’t like dancing.”

She gave me a melancholy look as we headed for our siblings. “We’ve hardly had a dance together tonight, even though you asked me to come with you.”

“All right,” I said nodding.

“There they are!” Tommy called, as we neared.

“You two are looking good out here,” I remarked.

“Thank you, lad, but you haven’t seen my acrobatic moves yet!”

“Yeah, yeah ... Just don’t twist an ankle right before a big show again, right?” I teased.

“Aw, then I won’t show you my back triple handspring tuck flip!”

We all had a laugh, and then Muireann settled into my arms for the next song. Fortunately it was a laid-back number, since I was running out of steam myself. But the dance wasn’t particularly comforting, since Muireann seemed distracted. At first, I wondered if she was looking at Pete every so often, but she actually was far more interested in the doors to the gymnasium. I should never have let her face Skinner alone ... Idiot ... She never settled down since.

“I really don’t think Skinner is coming back,” I finally said, as we continued to slowly twirl around.

She twitched at my observation and turned her head back to me.

“I’m sorry, I was...” She trailed off though, unable to buoy her mood.

“Maybe we should head home? This thing is winding down anyway.”

“No, Lara and Tommy are having a good time. As is Alice, I’m sure.”

“Well, at least we can tell them we’re ready whenever they are. For all we know they’re saying the same thing about us and we’re all waiting for each other.”

She sighed. “This doesn’t seem to be the evening we expected to have.”

“Why do you say that? I’m not sure what we were expecting, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s been really great. Pete survived the gig—” I glanced over his way. “More than survived, it looks like. He seems to be feeling a lot better, and the gang all played a good little set ... And I’m having fun hanging out with you, even though I know it’s been an interesting time.”

“All true, I know...” she murmured. “You’re probably right, I’m too tired to think straight. Maybe we should think about going.”

I nodded. “I’ll go ask Lara to find Alice.”

“But ... after the dance is ended,” she said, not letting me go.

This time she did cling to me without any distractions ... but even the DJ was against us, for he interrupted the song with an intrusion of energy. His overdramatic voice encouraged all the remaining students to do some sort of group dance. With less space to hide now, it was a dreadful prospect. Fortunately Lara and Tommy came at us straightaway.

“Time to go?” she suggested with a grin.

“Yes, please,” I breathed.

“Did you have fun, Tommy?” Muireann asked her brother.

“Aye, though I feel terrible for the people who had to watch me.”

Lara rolled her eyes. “Come on, let’s go find Alice and blow this place.”

“Are you two off to sleep, then?” I asked, once we’d wearily wandered into the cabin.

“Aye, I’ve crashed,” Tommy said. “Sorry lad.”

“No problem.”

Lara gave me a warm hug while Tommy embraced Muireann, and then we swapped.

“Good show tonight,” I said, clapping him on the back.

“Naw, the real show is next week. This was just to help out your friends. Quiet Mile is where my heart is...”

I nodded and pulled back. “Still, it was a good show.”

Once they were closed into their room, I glanced at Muireann.

“I know you’re fading on me,” I murmured. “It’s been a long day. Feels like ages since we were on the bus ... But do you fancy one last dance before we turn in?”

“Fancy?” she echoed. “Are you turning Irish now?”

“Hey, I heard you say ‘awesome’ again the other day.”

She smiled coyly. “That was a terrible mistake.”

“Yeah right. So, yes or no? I know you weren’t feeling it in the gym, and I don’t blame you. It was a crazy night. But let’s at least have a full dance, since the DJ gypped us on that last one.”

“One more dance,” she agreed softly. “Do we need music?”

“What would you want to hear?”

She sighed. “Turn on the radio. Maybe we’ll find ourselves lucky.”

I went over to the stereo and clicked it on. After a few adjustments, the classic rock station came on and the end of a Cream song greeted us.

“Gwen’s favorite,” I joked.

“Good thing she didn’t join us then,” Muireann said, though her tone was very subdued.