Chapter 32: Coming into View

I was just about to make a call when Lara poked her head into my room.

“Back to the telephone life, huh?” she said, giving me a sympathetic look.

“Yep. Hard times again.”

“You could’ve been born a hundred years ago,” she observed, “and then you wouldn’t even have had the phone.”

“If I’d been born a hundred years ago, I would’ve missed out on her completely. And on you too, sis ... But I’m glad for the phone either way.”

Lara nodded thoughtfully. “True. Come up to the cabin when you’re done and hang out. Muireann wants to look through the treasure box that she got from Jonah.”

“Um ... What did you just say?”

“Oh, you weren’t there, I forgot! Jonah was really into the way Muireann played her violin through the distortion pedal. He thought it was the coolest thing he’d ever heard.”

I laughed. “I’m sure. I got the feeling that he was into Muireann no matter what she played, though.”

Lara grinned knowingly. “Yeah, he was.”

“Wait, they didn’t like ... you know... ?”

“No, and I don’t think she even realized.”

“Ms. Blind ... Thankfully.”

“‘Thankfully’? Are you still mad at Jonah?” Lara asked carefully.

“Hell yeah, I am,” I replied, feeling some echo of the anger from the battle flare up again. “But all right, that’s over now. Still, what the hell is this treasure thing?”

“He gave her a bunch of foot pedals to try out.”

“Oh ... I guess that is kind of cool,” I admitted.

“She’s very excited.”

“I bet. All right, I’ll be up soon.”

Lara left me, so I punched the numbers I hadn’t had to use in a week. Yep, back to the phone...

“Number three!” she answered, almost before she’d picked up the line.

“What?”

“Number three!” she repeated with excessive glee.

It took me a second, and then I broke into a solid ten seconds of laughter. “Number three has it!” I finally managed between breaths.

“I knew it!”

“Fine, but do you know what the pictures are of?”

“Well...” Heather said, her voice quieting a bit. “I definitely know what number three is, that’s for sure! Not sure about the others.”

“You have to figure them out, or you don’t get your prize.”

“That’s impossible,” Heather dismissed. “They could be anything!”

“And now you know how I feel!” I chimed victoriously.

“Yeah, yeah ... You know, at first when I saw them hanging on my wall, I was like what the heck, you stole my favorite Trilogy set! But now I think I like this one even better. So you can keep your melamine chair and get horny over it.”

“Heather!”

“What? I don’t want it back,” she said emphatically.

“That joke is dead.”

“Why are you laughing then?” she countered.

A valid point...

“Because of you being silly, not the fricking chair!”

She tittered. “Damn, I miss you so much already...”

I groaned. “Yeah, me too. And it’s only been one day.”

“I know ... Hey, I have some news.”

“Good, I hope?”

“Mixed,” she said.

My heart leapt. “What is it?”

“Remember how there was a guy wanting me to make a set of photos for his daughter?”

“Yeah, the girl who has Tommy’s vision thing too. Did he bail?”

“No, he wants me to do it.”

“Whoa ... That’s great! Why is that mixed news?”

“Because I feel like I’m hardly going to talk to you this month,” she lamented.

“Well, sure we’ll both be busy, but we’ll still talk, don’t worry! This is so cool, though. I’m so proud of you, Heather. Does he want a set like the others?”

“Yeah, although he had a few specific requests. He likes the idea of Leila taking the pictures, like Tommy did, so I’ll need to get together with her to do that. And I need to figure out her portrait. He wants it very artistic, he said. Fantasy-looking or something. I have no idea what, yet.”

“You’ll think of something cool, I’m sure. When do you have to have them done by?”

“For when the center opens their new gallery room. I also found out he’s the one who donated a lot of money to make that happen. Nancy said he’s really into this. Like super into it.”

“So cool. But also a bit intimidating to have a deadline now, I bet.”

“I guess, though that isn’t really what scares me. It’s more that I got this cool idea in my head that I can’t let go of now.”

“Then go for it,” I said, far too quickly.

What are you doing? Fool, maybe you should find out what it is first!

She laughed. “Easy for you to say. Do you know any welders in Montauk?”

“Welders?” I blurted out. “Ok, hold on, hold on. What is your crazy idea?”

“The big downside to my whole project is that you can’t get the full effect of the pictures unless you’re at the right distance. For the eight-by-tens, it’s kind of hard to get that close in a public space.”

“True ... You’d be blocking everyone.”

“Well, sure, even though it’s not like the place is going to be packed all the time. But mostly it’s just not natural to get right up against them, like you’d need to. I don’t think most people will ever do that.”

“So how big are you thinking for this girl’s prints?” I asked, seeing where this was going.

“Twenty-by-thirty, at least. Hopefully bigger.”

It took me a second to realize the scale she was describing. “Holy shit, Heather, that’s like poster-sized!” Then I realized why it was especially challenging. “Wait, you’d have to build the enlarger filter to be that big!”

“So do you know any welders?”

“Jeez, Heather ... That seems a bit much.”

“Imagine looking into that, though!” she gushed, her voice soaring with pure excitement.

“Yeah ... It would be amazing, but—How the heck do you even print photos at that size?”

“You just move the enlarger further away from the paper.”

“Okay ... But you’d need fricking giant developing trays!” I remarked.

“Oh shit...” she lamented, her bubble suddenly popping. “I hadn’t gotten that far through the process. I was still stuck on how to build the filters.”

“Well, yeah, that’s definitely the harder part. You’d really need to weld something though?”

“I’m not buying two-hundred model car kits, that’s for sure. So I was thinking of maybe using some real car parts to frame it. I was going to go to a junkyard tomorrow ... But I don’t think superglue will hold it together.”

I started laughing too hard. “Oh, Heather...”

“What’s so funny?”

“You. Everything, really. It’s just ... all so fantastic.”

“Well, I’ve seen large photos at galleries. There’s a new little place in town that just opened with these really generic beach and sunset shots ... The photos are kind of boring, but the printing is really nice. So it can be done.”

“Don’t get me wrong. It’s a great idea, but don’t you have enough to do?”

“I do ... But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

I sniffed. “Somehow, I really doubt that.”

“You never know. This might be my one good idea.”

“Uh huh...”

“Anyway, I should probably get going. I need to see how many kiddie pools are in stock at the store. And good luck tomorrow ... I’ll make sure to be home, so give me a call and let me know how it goes.”

“Thanks, Heather. Did you just say kiddie pools?”

“Really Matt?” she said patiently. “It was your idea!”

“It ... was?”

Then I realized that she was right, in her usual roundabout way. Will a kiddie pool hold a twenty-by-thirty print?

I could only laugh and remind myself that someday I’d look back on all this ... and hopefully still be laughing.

“Matt! What brings you in today? My assistant said you were mysterious about the topic of discussion.”

I nodded at Dr. Kendall. “Sorry, but I wanted to talk to only you about it. It’s about the foreign exchange program.”

He frowned. “Everything’s okay with Muireann and Tommy, I hope?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. They’re really having a good time here. But this isn’t about them.”

“Please, sit then, and tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Yeah, so ... Um ... I’ve been thinking about Carmen lately. A lot.”

Dr. Kendall’s face grew serious as he shook his head sadly. “Ah, me too, Matt. A terrible loss for her family, friends, all of us, really. Many times a day I think of her, and I still can’t believe it all.”

“Yeah, me neither. I wasn’t like her best friend or anything, but, um ... We did, well, kind of go out for a little bit last year.”

He closed his eyes. “Oh, I’m very sorry Matt. I didn’t realize you knew her that well.” He eyed me carefully. “Have you spoken with Dr. Barrington?”

I swallowed back the surge of regrets that tried to surface again. “No, I’m not here about counseling. It’s more that there’s something I want to do.”

“I see. What are you thinking?” Dr. Kendall asked, leaning forward onto his desk.

“Well, Carmen and Tommy and me were in study hall together, and she said she really wanted to do a foreign exchange thing someday, like the twins. We talked about it a lot, and Tommy even convinced her to try for Ireland. He said she could even stay with him and Muireann.”

“That was very kind of him.”

“Yeah. But she didn’t think it would ever happen anyway.”

“Why not?”

“She said it was too expensive for her family to even think about.”

“It can be, yes. We do try to help, though. I’m sure you’ve heard of the fundraisers that happen throughout the year?”

“Yeah, exactly. I’ve been to one. And that’s kind of what I want to ask about. I was hoping you’d be okay with letting us set up a benefit concert, to raise money for people wanting to go on these trips to other countries.”

“Hmm. That’s a very interesting idea. Go on.”

“I don’t know what you’d call it, but basically, we’ll put on a show in the auditorium, people donate five or ten bucks, and that goes into a fund or something. It could help, at least a little, right?”

Dr. Kendall nodded. It was a promising gesture, so I allowed myself some hope to flare up.

“We could make it yearly, even,” I continued with more energy. “The money can be split between the people going abroad each year.”

“I think ... it’s a wonderful idea, Matt.”

“Mostly, I’d like to set it up in Carmen’s memory. I mean, if that’s even possible.”

He pursed his lips. “Have you spoken to her family about this?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t. Honestly, I’ve never even met them. But I wanted to see what you thought about it first, before talking to them.”

Dr. Kendall considered for a time. Finally he sat back in his chair. “The Carmen Peoples Memorial Fund ... I can speak to her parents, if you’d like.”

“Well ... I was actually going to go over there today, as long as you thought it was a good idea.”

“Ah ... And when are you thinking of doing this?”

“After school today.”

“No, the benefit concert!”

“Oh, right, um ... I don’t know, May, I guess? Not too close to the talent show, since there will be music at that, too. So, early May?”

“That could work. However ... I don’t think the auditorium is an appropriate venue,” he said, frowning at the idea.

My stomach lurched. Great, he’ll give me the band room, just like I thought...

“Why not?” I asked evenly.

He looked at the ceiling, letting himself smile a little. “What if we hold it at Smith Park instead?”

Smith Park... ? Damn!

The knot in my stomach burst into a number of butterflies all at once as I leaned forward, my eyes wide.

“Really?” I breathed. “Can we even do that?”

Dr. Kendall shrugged. “Probably. I’ll have to talk to Ray at the Rec Department. I don’t think normally they would do something like this, but given the, well, noble circumstances, I think he’ll be amenable to the idea. I don’t know if we can get the whole stage set up, like they do for the summer concert series, but we can talk to Ray and see what the options are.”

My head was suddenly whirling. “That would be crazy awesome! Even if we just set up on the grass and play, it would be amazing.”

“It is a very beautiful park, as you know, nestled in the valley there. It would be a setting worthy of Carmen’s memory, I think. It still might be a touch chilly at night in early May, but you’re young. I’m sure you’ll survive.”

“Yeah, I’m not worried about that.”

We swim nude in midwinter, man...

“How many people do you think you can bring out to see your band?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I’m hoping a lot! And it won’t just be my band. I’m going to invite Green Space to play the show too. Like a mini music festival.”

“Great, I love those guys!” Dr. Kendall leaned closer to me. “Just between you and me, I’m a huge Deadhead!”

I laughed, mostly because I was picturing my principal in a tie-dyed shirt and sunglasses, smoking a big spliff and swaying to a groove.

“Nice!” I said. “Anyway, they have a lot of friends. And I’m thinking of finding one other band to play too, to fill things out.”

Dr. Kendall nodded. “Good, good. Well, it sounds like it’ll be a great event. Do you want to meet with Ray as well, when I do?”

“Sure, if I can.”

“Great, I’ll have him come up here to my office, and I’ll pull you out of class for a few minutes.”

Sweet, no class!

“Sounds good. I’m sure my folks would be willing to help with stuff too, like collecting donations and whatever. I mean, I haven’t told anyone except you about this, because, you know, if you said no, the rest would be pointless.”

Dr. Kendall nodded. “I can’t imagine anyone saying no to this idea, Matt. We just need to figure out the details. While we wait for Ray, why don’t you go ahead and write up a plan of the event? What you need for the bands, the times, and so forth.”

I reached into my backpack and pulled out a sheet of paper. “I already started, but that was before you suggested Smith Park. So let me do a version with that in mind.”

Dr. Kendall laughed as he sat back. “Impressive. I’m really glad I didn’t say no, now!”

“Yeah, me too. Anyway, I’ll finish up the plan and get it to you.”

“Sounds good. So, do you want to talk to Carmen’s parents, then?”

I hesitated. “Should we wait to see what Ray says?”

“No, we’ll do this one way or another. If the park doesn’t work out, we’ll hold it at the school. Maybe in the courtyard, or the auditorium if we have to. Don’t worry, we’ll make it happen. So you can talk to them today if you’d like to.”

I took a deep breath. “I do, but I’m also ... I don’t know them at all, and I can’t imagine what they’re going through right now. I’m not sure how to ... be around them, if you know what I mean?”

Dr. Kendall nodded sympathetically. “I do know them and they’re good people. They are suffering a great deal right now, of course, but I think they’ll be very touched by this. I wouldn’t worry. Just be yourself and tell them what you just told me. It’s not an easy situation for anyone, and they will understand.”

I swallowed hard. “Okay ... I’ll go over there myself.”

Dr. Kendall nodded, his eyes solemn. “You’re a good kid, Matt. I’ve known that, ever since you came in here last fall and stood up for your family.”

But I thought my good standing went out the window in February when you met a certain someone... !

I stood up. “Well, I’m just trying to give back a little bit, since it’s been so good to have the twins with us. And also ... something to remember Carmen by.”

Dr. Kendall stretched his hand out as he nodded in understanding. “Good luck, Matt. Let me know what they say, and meanwhile I’ll get things rolling on my end.”

I shook his hand and then left his office. Once I was out of the administrative section and in the school hallways, I let out an enormous sigh.

This is happening ... Holy shit ... There’s so much to do!

Patricia and Bud Peoples were indeed kind, as Dr. Kendall had promised. When I knocked on the door to their small house and said I was a friend of Carmen’s, they invited me right in and offered me a soda as I took a seat in their cozy living room.

“I hope I’m not interrupting your day,” I began.

“Not at all,” Bud replied. “What brings you by?”

I took a steadying breath and then explained how Tommy and I knew Carmen, and the idea behind putting on the show. I hadn’t even finished when I had a pretty good feeling that they’d support it.

“So we were thinking of doing this in early May, at Smith Park. Dr. Kendall is finding out if that will work out. But obviously, before doing anything, I wanted to see what you thought about it.”

Patricia was looking at her husband with obvious emotion. Bud nodded thoughtfully. “We would certainly support this. It sounds wonderful,” he murmured. “But it also sounds like a lot of work. What can we do to help?”

“Oh, I think it won’t be too hard to put together,” I demurred, not wanting to impose on them in any way.

“We would very much like to contribute,” Patricia said. “This is so kind of you.”

I shifted on the cushion. “Well ... I don’t know much yet about what exactly will happen. But I will definitely let you know once we start setting up the plan, if there’s something to help out with.”

“Yes, please keep us in the loop. I imagine you have our phone number?”

“I do, yeah, somewhere. I think so.”

Bud stood up and retrieved a piece of paper and wrote down the number along with their names. “Here, just in case.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Please do let us know how we can help.”

I nodded into the awkward silence, struggling to find any words to say because I saw Carmen in each of them, and I realized yet again what a jerk I’d been to her. Her parents were so kind, as she had been in life, and I’d desecrated all of that one drunken evening. If they only knew who was really sitting in their living room, they’d throw me out on my ass.

So selfish ... Putting on this concert just to make yourself feel better about what you did...

With effort, I finally managed to say something, my mouth feeling cottony. “Um, Dr. Kendall might have some ideas, so also I’ll ask him.”

They agreed quietly.

“Okay, I’ll, um, call you once I know more. Thanks, for agreeing to support this. I can’t, uh ... It’s hard on all of us that knew Carmen, but I ... I’m really sorry, for your loss.”

My insides prickled as I realized how clumsy I was coming across. Luckily Carmen’s parents didn’t hold it against me, as Dr. Kendall had promised. They accompanied me to the door and kindly said goodbye.

On the walk home, I tried to sort out the multitude of thoughts and feelings that swirled in my brain. After quelling the most negative of them, I was finding a great deal of excitement that we were being given the chance to do this.

The band was thrilled that we had a new gig on the horizon. We had a lot of work to do in not a lot of time, so Saturday morning Colin and Gwen came to the cabin and we set up for rehearsing. There was much excitement, so I felt a bit bad about starting the day out on a controversial note, but I needed to get it off my chest.

“The Nameless are going to play at the park concert,” I announced.

These words were met by hard stares from the rest of the band.

“Are you, like, totally high?” Lara finally asked.

“Not that I know of.”

“What the hell, Matt! You really asked them?”

“Not yet. But I’m going to.”

After a brief silence, Gwen put her sticks down and huffed. “You’re serious.”

“I am. It’ll bring more people out,” I explained. “And it’ll make it a bit more of an event, you know.”

“No, I don’t know,” Lara said.

“Okay, why should we not ask them?”

“They play shitty classic rock,” Gwen flared.

“Skinner is a right rare arse,” Tommy added.

“And that, yeah,” she agreed.

“Did you forget the band battle?” Colin reminded me. “They aren’t exactly our friends.”

“And it’s my ex-boyfriend,” Lara finished. “Need more reasons?”

“You can say as many reasons as you want. But none will override the reason I’m going to ask them.”

“And what’s that?” Lara asked, dubious that I could outweigh the evidence against.

“Carmen,” I said simply. “I want everyone we can get to be out there for her.”

Lara slumped down. “When you put it that way...” she muttered.

“If you want a ton of people, then invite Jonah instead,” Colin suggested.

I laughed. “Jonah? Weren’t you just saying about the battle? He was the one that fucked us over! Yeah, Skinner and his dudes voted early, but they would’ve voted for him anyways. No, it was Jonah who set us up, and honestly, I don’t think I ever want to talk to that guy again. And besides, he’d just bring a bunch of drunk people and take over, and that’s exactly what I don’t want for this.”

“He’s probably going to hear about it,” Lara said. “Especially if you invite The Nameless.”

“Whatever. I’m not saying he can’t come watch, but I don’t want him involved in planning this at all.”

She sighed. “Ugh, I don’t think I can deal with all of this again.”

“All what again?”

“The band battle thing. Facing off against those guys.”

“It’s not going to be a battle this time. We’d all be there for the same reason. On the same team.”

“Tell that to Skinner,” Gwen spat.

“I will tell him. And look,” I said, eyeing each of them. “The show is three weeks from today. As far as I’m concerned, I’m going to be busting ass to make this thing the best it can be. When I’m not sleeping or doing homework, I’m going to be working on this. That includes practicing as much as I can. Whoever can make it here, any day, any time, I’m ready to play. Yeah, it’s not a battle. But I also want us to kick ass for Carmen’s sake. So how about we just forget the shit from Jonah’s, forget the classic rock, forget Skinner and Pete, and just make this the best thing we can do as a band? I mean, fuck, all of you can move in if you want to! I’ll get the cots out. We have three weeks. Are you in?”

Muireann smiled at me, having remained silent during the exchanges. “I’m in, Matt,” she said, her expression warm.

I nodded back appreciatively. “Thank you.”

Surprisingly, Gwen spoke next. “Fine, but only if they play first in the lineup.”

“Fine by me. Nameless, Green Space, and then us to close it out. That’s what I was thinking anyway.”

Lara offered her half-hearted agreement as well, and Colin and Tommy were already talking about a section of a song, having shrugged and moved on.

“All right,” I said, getting everyone’s attention. “Now let’s get to work. Lara has a new song, and we need to figure out what to do with it. What’s it called?”