Chapter 20: Sleep in the Dark

Mairead and Aongus left after lunch the next day, forced to end their vacation earlier than Frej and Heather due to the demands of the business they owned. I was indeed grateful for the Danishman’s generosity in allowing Heather to remain for another three days.

The Martins’ departure left a rather obvious hole in our daily schedule. After dinner was cleared and we sat around the table, it suddenly seemed remarkably silent. The positive feedback loop between Tommy and Aongus had been severed, leaving the twin remarkably subdued. Only Heather and Frej remained chipper, likely because they saw the Martins all the time and therefore missed them less than the rest of us did.

“Time for music,” Frej said, intruding on the pensive moment.

Quiet laughter went around the table.

“Aye, it is...” Tommy said wistfully.

“Come on, we haven’t heard any of your songs,” Heather urged. “As much as I loved the sessions, I want to hear what you four have been working on.”

Tommy nodded slowly. “A good idea, lass. Perhaps we might play something different tonight. Matt, will you get your guitar? Or should we move to the cabin?”

“Play down here, so we can listen,” Melissa suggested.

“Sure, I can bring my stuff down,” I agreed.

“Up, Lara, Muireann...” Tommy called. “Let’s see what we have left, after a week away from it.”

A week away from it... For a moment, the dulled sting of the auditions squeezed all of us, it seemed. Heather’s visit had mostly shunted all that into forgotten memory. I rose, shaking off the feeling and made for the back door. Heather accompanied me and once outside, I grabbed her hand.

“Are you going to play with us?” I asked.

“Nah. You heard me last night. Once was enough.”

“You did fine.”

“Yeah, a passable job!” she called into the night. “A stunning display of mediocrity!” She added the sound of a roaring crowd.

“You are the silliest thing, I swear.”

“You know, you might have a drummer now,” she remarked.

“Oh really? So you’re going to play with us after all?”

“No. But my dad left his bodhrán here for Lara.”

“Aw, I thought maybe you had a drum kit hidden in Frej’s car.”

Heather sniffed. “Now that would be funny.”

“That was nice of your dad, though.”

“He hasn’t played it in years, so ... But yeah, he figured she might use it. He was quite proud of her, I think.”

“Not as proud as he was of you last night,” I remarked.

Heather nudged my side. “Stop it.”

Our practice session ended up being more fun than I expected. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed playing the past week, having been suitably distracted by the other activities. But as we worked through our songs for the audience of four, I felt a flood of pleasure at making our noise again. The best surprise was Muireann’s heightened involvement in playing with us. Perhaps it was the confidence gained from having shown her hand during the Irish sessions, or maybe it was the pickup that remained attached to her fiddle, reminding her that the future was going to demand more of her. Either way, she was decidedly intent on the music, and much more committed to it.

At one point, I realized we were halfway through Four Days and I hadn’t even been playing, merely cradling my guitar in my lap as I listened. Tommy and the two girls were weaving together a really good version of the song, and I’d been quietly trying to make sense of Muireann’s new accompanying lines. It was almost strange, how what I was hearing her play was somehow what I’d imagined, even if I couldn’t have imagined what she was now playing.

“What’s the matter, lad?” Tommy asked, as they finished the song on their own.

“That was really cool,” I said.

“It would’ve been cooler if you joined in,” Lara said, giving me a smile.

“I was just thinking, that’s all. About the thing at Jo—” I caught myself just in time. “The thing at the, um, auditorium. The auditions! Yeah, whatever they were called,” I stammered. “And how crappy it was that we didn’t get through.”

Lara gave me a wide-eyed and amused look, knowing full well I’d almost stepped in it with our moms right there.

“There will be other chances to play,” Sarah consoled.

I was on the verge of telling them outright about the band battle. It sure would make things easier to have them in on it... Then I had a sudden vision of Jonah’s castle, and the seething mass of drunkards therein.

Or ... not.

“We’ll figure something out,” I agreed. “Anyway, let’s do Four Days again, and this time I’ll actually join in.”

In time, it was down to Heather and me as by threes the rest of the gathering went to sleep.

“You look a bit worn out,” I remarked.

“Definitely relaxing,” she agreed, as she nestled closer to me. “Are you okay? You seemed quiet during your rehearsal.”

“Thinking a lot.”

“About what?”

“The band. What to do next.”

“Do your parents know about the band battle?”

I sighed, since Heather had found my doubt so easily. “No.”

“Maybe you should tell them.”

“Yeah right. You’ve been to Jonah’s,” I said quietly.

“They don’t have to go to the gig. But at least you won’t have to worry about hiding it.”

I nodded. “It was pretty stressful going down there without telling them. And not the right thing to do, I think. If something happened to us...”

“I’m sure they’ll be okay with it.”

“You think?”

She nodded with more confidence than I expected.

“All right, I’ll talk to them about it.”

“So, are you ready for three days of skiing?”

I eyed her. “Are you sure your ankle is better?”

“Completely. I plan on kicking your butt over the course of many races.”

I sniggered. “No way. I’m ready. I’m catching on to your tricks, you know.”

She grinned. “I have plenty more.”

I leaned onto her and kissed her hard. For a time, we made out on the couch, twisting ourselves into the blankets, our tongues fighting as if in anticipation of the ski racing to come. And who knew what else would happen, even on the chairlift...

“We better get some rest,” Heather said, rising from the couch and stretching her body. I ran a hand over her waist, and hip, and thigh, and...

“Yeah, I know.”

It was hard to say good night, and the journey from couch to bedrooms was slow and frequently paused by further kissing and touching. But in time, even that came to a wistful end, and I was asleep almost before the cot squeaked in protest at my late arrival into its embrace.

I was in the midst of a lovely dream. I was in the forest behind our house, lying on a bed of soft leaves and warm pine needles, letting the snow fall on me. The eternal stream burbled nearby, flowing uphill as it always did. Wisps of dark and light moved around me, silent creatures crafted by the moon and her army of tricky trees. The earth made such music: a low tone originating from beneath me supported everything else, harmonically mixing the entirety of every movement of every single thing around me, all merging into one remarkable chord, an infinite stack of perfection. I stretched my limbs, sinking deeper into the cushy ground...

A new melody arose, coming from a distance. It too was its own infinite stack, but somehow different. And complementary ... Why should such dizzying structures fit so perfectly between each other? It was like tossing a hundred grains of rice at the ground, and finding them land on the first hundred wet spatters made from a gathering rainstorm...

The wisps danced faster as a soft breeze reached me and crossed my skin...

My eyes opened at once, the dream lingering in my ears as the chords merged. But even at that, the film grain of my mind saturated and the resolution of detail sank into the hissy noise of growing consciousness. As I turned over in the soft pine needle cushion, I noticed a faint light again.

The moon... ! It’s in the house!

A house? What a strange thought...

But of course, it wasn’t strange. Reality and dream were still crossfading, leading to temporary confusion. A shadow moved ... The dream sank further, dithering into vague memory and finally into a singular remnant: a feeling of comfort.

I propped myself up in my cot as awareness took hold of my senses. Someone was up and using the bathroom. Or ... not quite.

I could hear Tommy breathing from the bed, unperturbed by the strange situation. Quietly I rose and inched toward the door. I peered out and gasped slightly as I saw a familiar silhouette at the entrance to the great room.

“Good morning, love,” she whispered, suddenly right in front of me, closing the distance in an instant. It was so fast that it didn’t even startle me. Before I could question the situation, her tongue penetrated my lips and quickly changed the direction of my thoughts from oddity to pleasure.

“Morning?” I managed to whisper back, as she let me go.

“Technically. Though it’s closer to bedtime than wake-time,” she said, giggling ever so quietly.

“What, um ... Am I missing something?”

“You sure are,” she replied. “Come on.”

She led me to the living room, and in a moment I found myself slipping into my shoes and donning a proffered coat.

“Are you sleepwalking?” she asked me.

“I’m actually not sure. What’s going on?” I mumbled.

There was no reply as the back door opened and I followed Heather out into the night, guided only by her hand. We started walking.

“Your parents!” I warned, but even as the words hit my own ears, I remembered that they were fast asleep ... in Montauk.

“What about them?” she asked.

“They’re not here,” I replied. Somehow, that thought was more dangerous than the opposite one.

“Good eye, Matt,” she replied, giggling.

The moon made funny shapes on the ground as we closed in on the cabin. In another moment we were inside, the warmth enveloping me...

What the... ? Abruptly I came to, the sleepiness falling away.

“What’s going on?” I asked again.

“Go into the darkroom,” Heather said, as she slipped into the bathroom and closed the door.

I didn’t protest, so I was soon sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the enlarger in the red light of the safety lamp I didn’t recall having turned on. Is this some new photography project? Then I wised up. Her parents ... they’re gone! Somewhat strangely, Lara’s voice filled my brain: You’re going to get laid, you lucky dog...

I actually laughed out loud. I should lock the door then. I stumbled out to the main room and checked the front. Heather had already locked it, of course. I took off my coat and threw it on the couch, trying to remember what I’d just been doing. As I turned around, the room grew brighter.

“Whoa,” I gasped, stunned by the sight of the silhouetted girl in the bathroom doorway.

“I thought you were in the darkroom,” she scolded.

“And I thought you were wearing jeans and a sweater a minute ago.”

“That’s not what Miss Ellie wears,” she replied.

Miss Ellie... ? To be honest, I kind of wished I still was sitting on the darkroom bed, because I was about to lose my balance. Heather – or rather, Miss Ellie – was standing there in the black dress that had been the souvenir from our ill-fated night in Jonah’s cabin back in December. The tight little black number was rather enticing, especially—well, no. It wasn’t ‘rather’ enticing, it was ridiculously enticing, since she wasn’t actually standing there. No, she was slightly posed, her bare legs mostly exposed by the high black hem, her figure clearly outlined against the bright bath tiles behind her. A silver chain descended from around her neck and held a familiar pendant just above her cleavage. After days of bundled up fun, the sight of all this skin was ‘rather’ overwhelming.

“What’s going on?” I managed.

“What’s going on is that Miss Ellie is here.”

I couldn’t say a word as she sashayed over to me. From a few feet away, she whispered once more.

“Command me, Matt. I’m yours.”

Okay, now I really was awake!

“Heather—”

Her finger appeared before my face, touching my lips. “I don’t know who that is,” she admonished.

“But you’re wearing Heather’s necklace,” I pointed out. “What did you do with her? Where did you hide her?”

There was a brief moment when the whole charade was on the verge of breaking apart. I saw Heather’s grin struggling to reach Miss Ellie’s lips, even as I reprimanded myself for intruding on this nocturnal fantasy in such a careless way.

But in the end, Miss Ellie was determined and won that struggle.

“If you say that name again,” she warned, “we’re going back to bed. Separate beds...”

“Sorry,” I replied.

She drew even closer, and I could feel her breath on my ear as she whispered again. “Everyone’s asleep. You have complete command of Miss Ellie. Don’t fucking waste it ... Not for your sake, and not for mine.”

I watched her as she stepped back and held my gaze, her eyes dark and smoldering. My brain remained hazy, half-asleep even as I thought I was awake. Command me, she’d said. That could mean anything! My mind certainly got ahead of my restraint for a second as I imagined things.

“Dance with me,” I said softly.

“Music?” she asked without hesitating.

“Anything. Your choice. Or random choice.”

She made her way to the stack of CDs by the stereo and grabbed the top case without even glancing at it. I followed her toward the darkroom, feeling quite aroused now. The harsh light of the bathroom went off at the flick of her finger, and this was soon replaced by the lusty glow of the red safety light as my eyes adjusted again. I closed the darkroom door and waited as the disc settled into the player. The sounds of a jangly pop guitar beat filled my ears. Lara’s CD, Cocteau Twins... Something half-forgotten rattled around in my head as I moved toward the black-clad siren before me.

“Is this okay?” she asked, already moving her body sinuously against mine.

I nodded, unable to speak. For a time, we danced, although it was more of an offering. Half my brain enjoyed the moment as the other half told itself to stop worrying, since everyone was surely sleeping.

As she slowly lost herself to her own arousal, I didn’t even have to sway. I closed my eyes and let myself be massaged by her sinuous movements. It didn’t take long before I was straining the front of my pajamas. She cooed as she pressed against me and felt this fact herself.

“What do you want to do?” she asked, her voice almost trembling.

“Oh god,” I gasped, running my hands up and down her body. “You feel so good.”

“How else do you want to feel me?”

She wrapped one leg around me, almost causing us to lose our balance as we pressed into a heated kiss. Our hands grasping for support from the developing table, her soft tongue moved into my mouth and I shivered at the feelings she aroused. We struggled in place as we got lost in each other.

“Take my clothes off,” I ordered.

Miss Ellie followed commands perfectly. Soon I fell to the bed. She eyed me from where she stood.

“Get up here,” I said, patting the bedspread next to me.

She complied, crawling from the foot of the bed to kneel next to my hip.

“What do you want me to do now?” she asked, her voice dripping with desire.

“I don’t know. What do you do?” I asked.

“Anything you want,” she said.

“Anything? Like what...”

“If you can say it, Miss Ellie will do it.”

Oh god... I could tell she meant it, and it made me shudder.

“Does that include imagining things?” I asked, testing the waters a bit.

“Miss Ellie is very good at that.”

“What about imagining ... other people?”

“Even better...”

Even better! Jeez... I tensed up and took a deep breath. Do I dare?

‘If I can say it... ‘

“Okay ... Imagine someone watching us ... while you give me a blowjob.”

Admittedly, it wasn’t easy to get these words through my mouth. But somehow I managed, and so she had to do it. I wondered if I should specify who I meant, or if Miss Ellie would know. She has to know...

She gave me a smile before sinking her head toward my middle. It was an excruciating wait as she slowed down on approach. The silver necklace dangled there, catching the red light on occasion. Then she took me in her mouth, and I let my head fall back on the pillow.

Heaven...

Admittedly, I let my mind wander two spaces at once. The physical present, and also the memory of a night from early January, when our imaginary visitor had been real and the real girl with her lips around my cock right now had been imaginary. Somehow, this duality completed the picture and made the combination about as intense as I could imagine. For a time, I floated in this half-reverie, a foot in each world, navigating the mixture and the pleasure with ease.

“Slower,” I issued, not wanting to get to the tensest moments so soon. And her body was too enticing, so I scooted around on the bed toward her legs. She needed no instruction to lift one knee and then I was beneath that black hemline, staring up into hidden treasures. As it turned out, there was nothing to stop me from returning her pleasure. The short dress itself was barely a hindrance as it easily rode up; that was all I had to do.

It had been so long ... Since the night of the talent show, I realized. To taste her, feel her with my fingers and tongue, while she did the same to me, down there...

The music played on. To stop or not to stop, that was the excruciating decision ... I could let myself go over the edge, perhaps in her mouth, which I still found exceedingly exciting ... She’d do it, for sure, since after all she’d said ‘anything’ ... But then again, there was something to riding the crest of the wave for a while.

“Slow down,” I gasped, even as I felt her warm mouth envelop me further.

She did, but did not stop. I squeezed myself tight and let the moment slide past.

“Straighten up.”

She raised her body so that she straddled my head, and I ran my hands up the front of Miss Ellie’s lacy dress while Miss Fraser urged me on from the speakers. Heather’s torso stretched and bent as I used the added pressure from her upright position to probe her more deeply with my tongue. Abandoning any hope of breathing, I pulled her even more downward onto me. She squirmed against me, gyrating her hips ... It was too much, and soon she dropped forward again, and the cycle began anew as she sucked me in.

Oh god...

Things grew intense and we rolled to one side, gripping at each other’s legs, trying to give each other even more. Thankfully her parents were gone, because by now the moans and whimpers were easily filling the cabin.

Abruptly she pulled her lips off of me.

“Come,” she gasped. “Come for me ... We have all night to keep going, later...”

Well, although she wasn’t supposed to be commanding me, I couldn’t resist the tone of her voice! As she swallowed me again, I released the holds. The stars brightened as I squeezed my eyes shut, and...

I groaned into the skin of her legs, unable to keep my end of the bargain going any longer. Not during this bliss ... My entire body seemed to pulse in concert with my thrusting penis as it unloaded into her mouth.

The feeling was exquisite, her tongue and lips never stopping as the jets splashed inside her. It all grew softer and wetter by the moment, and I felt slightly faint. I clutched at the black dress, pressing my hips forward one last time as the last pulses wound down.

She gave a little cough and then rolled onto her back, breathing deeply.

“Are you okay?” I murmured after I’d collected my senses a bit.

“I am,” she whispered back. “But Miss Ellie might have to wash this cover.”

“I’m not going to worry about that right now.”

“Do you plan on making more spots?”

I chuckled, despite the turmoil still within me. “I sure hope so. But not yet. Stay where you are,” I said.

I sat up and slid off the bed, looking down at her as she lay along one edge.

“What?” she asked.

“Miss Ellie’s turn to go all the way.”

Heather nodded as I pulled her dress up enough to reveal her sex. After dragging her bum to the corner, I knelt on the floor and put my tongue and fingers back to work. The angle was very convenient, I realized, and it didn’t take long for my fingers to find that slick spot deep within her, nor for my tongue to massage that little button, nor for Miss Ellie to ascend to the heights. She soon had her legs pointed to the ceiling, and I didn’t waste the position.

As always, I marveled at the fact that I could do this to her, bring her such pleasure. And why not! She had just brought it to me. But it was still incredible to be able to have this opportunity, and to watch her so alive before me.

She was obviously worked up, so it didn’t take long to tie the score. Thankfully no pillow was necessary, and although she did clamp her legs around my head in the most heated part of it, I survived. She shuddered into a mess of pleasure.

I slowed my movements as she came down from the high a little bit. We both breathed in time together, until I stood and took in her form again, still slowly squirming on the bed, her eyes closed...

“Oh, Matt ... That was so good. I’ve missed that...”

“Good. But I’m just waking up I think,” I said.

“Mm ... Is this going to take us all the way to sunrise?”

I sniffed. “Doubt it. But how about we just worry about what we’re doing right now?”

“I like the sound of that. Let the sun figure itself out. I want to figure you out.”

I leaned over and kissed her hard, feeling like even more pent up energy had grown within me in the past few minutes, even in spite of the recent release. Heather’s hand slipped to my half-erection, bringing it to life rather quickly.

“Command me,” she repeated into my lips, but it was an idle and less serious request now. We both knew we were going to fuck each other silly quite soon, commands or no commands. Still, she deserved some more delay just for being impish. I straightened and stepped back, pulling her body into alignment with the edge of the bed.

“We do have all night, Miss Ellie,” I said, lowering myself. “And like you said, don’t waste it. So, round two,” I breathed, even as she turned her head and took my penis into her lips again. I stared down at her in the electric redness of the safety lamp, taking in the arch of her neck, the shine of my shaft as it disappeared into her mouth ... Her hand slipped down to pleasure herself ... I didn’t mind, not tonight.

God, what feelings, as she took her time, using her tongue gently, kissing, licking, swirling the wet tip ... After a time, she rolled away and then repositioned herself on her tummy, her body stretched away from me. The angle changed, but not the act. Her hand moved forward to massage me. I bucked my hips to meet her own movements, lost in the lust of the sight and feel of everything.

God ... I have her at my command...

Despite the heightened arousal, I was lasting much longer the second round. On the stereo, one song ended and faded into another, and suddenly I stiffened as the music pulled on memories again, drawing them into recognition. I ran my gaze down her hair, along the black dress, and over the length of her legs that stretched beyond that risen hem.

Our imaginary visitor was back, having been quickly forgotten in earlier pleasures. For a time, I even lost track of Miss Ellie’s enthusiasm, as my mind swirled. Anything, Miss Ellie? The song played on, and then finished, but obsession was only growing stronger...

She pulled off with a pop. “What are you thinking about?”

“I really want you,” I answered, dazed.

“And how do you want Miss Ellie?”

I looked down at those eyes as they looked back up at me. The CD had surely just been randomly selected. And in the end...

“Stay like that,” I said, and I climbed onto the bed. In a moment I was straddling her thighs and running my hands up and down the back of her dress. She let out a little murmur. I was too impatient, though, so I angled my cock down to press into her wetness.

“Oh, this is different!” she cried, as I bore down onto her, and into her. She squeezed her thighs together as I began to move. I was too out of my head with visions to let it build up slowly. My legs shifted back as I stretched over her length now, and soon I was pounding into her. Her moans came out in cut-off spurts.

The red light was angled such that I couldn’t quite see our union ... but this only served to enhance the fantasy of what I imagined I might be doing, even if I wasn’t actually doing it.

I couldn’t seem to take her deep enough or hard enough, and soon my thrusting had forced her head to dangle off the edge of the bed. The tide rose, the edge approached...

“Damn it!” I gasped, pulling out of her and squeezing my penis tightly.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, delirious.

I sat back on my haunches, desperately forcing the feeling to recede.

“I need to get a condom,” I finally managed, followed by despair. “And fuck, they’re down in my room!”

“Don’t worry about it,” she moaned.

“Oh phew, you have one?”

“I don’t. But trust me, it’s fine.”

My head spun. Fine? What does she mean? I glanced at her bum, the visions and reality becoming surreally confused. Am I out of my mind?

“Keep going,” she pleaded.

“We can’t!”

She raised her head from its descended position and looked back at me. That look itself was almost enough for me to resume, but...

“Do you trust me, Matt?”

Trust her? I put my hands on the bed as the world spun.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?” she repeated.

“Yeah, of course I do!”

“Then forget the condom and keep going, and don’t stop until we both can’t move anymore!”

I suddenly had a vision of Julie on Aunt Beth’s porch, and me trying to convince her to... The imaginary room sure is getting crowded, the thought almost making me laugh.

“I’m supposed to be commanding you, Miss Ellie,” I somehow managed to joke.

“I don’t care anymore. Just don’t stop!”

“You’re sure this is okay?” I ventured.

“Yes,” she hissed. “I swear!”

I leaned forward, feeling like I was on the edge of a rollercoaster hill. As I held the tip of my penis just above her, I breathed.

I’ll do anything with you, Heather...

With a stomach-twisting feeling, I penetrated her, everything now enhanced tenfold by her pronouncement and the feel of her. Am I really about to, to... ?

I guess I really did trust her, because for a few minutes I had no reservations. We slammed against each other; she by pushing her hips upward, me by thrusting mine to meet her. She arched her back now, and soon she was half on her knees, me gripping her waist, pulling her to meet me. I raised one knee for more leverage, the world starting to spin, Heather’s sounds pervading every corner of the room. I could feel her shaking now.

The decision arrived, pretty much unnoticed. It would’ve been just as easy to pull out and cover her dress with a mess, and likely her hair, or let it splash against her ass and dribble down over her hand, which was tucked under her body and rubbing both her button and my shaft ... The cover was already going to need to be washed, after all. The mess could go anywhere, except where it was threatening to go. I just had to heed the warning, change course...

But all the voices in my head were silent. Even the most cautious of them were caught up in the throes of ecstasy, their eyes closed and giving no thought of consequences, only anticipating the delirious joy of what was coming. All of us were fucked.

She and I moved through it all, and I joined with Heather like I never had before. It’s done now, I thought, as I went over the edge. Might as well let it all go...

I did just that, letting the entirety of the moment fill me as I filled her. Our rhythms stuttered and we strained as the tension peaked. I myself felt imaginary, a visitor watching this unexpected act of raw intimacy between two souls in love with each other. Sure, she was Miss Ellie, and we’d played at being detached, physical creatures ... But I longed for her, so much ... Everything she’d done this week, all she’d told me ... It sprang up and shook me, hard.

She was crying softly as things receded. Then we collapsed to the bed, me rolling to her side.

We’d fucked each other to the point of malfunction, because I couldn’t move at all and Heather lay there prone, her head still halfway to the floor and her limbs twitching.

I trust you, Heather ... I trust you, Heather...

I kept repeating that to myself as the voices started waking up again, wondering what I’d just let myself do to her.