Chapter 12: Open Wings

From Amanda’s diary:

Dear diary,

It felt strange to wake up alone after three days sleeping with someone. Sure lying at Clara’s feet hadn’t been pleasant, but weird as it might sound I still felt some sort of connection to her while doing it. Sharing a bed with Fiona was a lot better, and I knew I’d be missing that a lot.

I got up and dressed, being careful to cover every bit of me that might show any signs of damage, before I went to the toilet. I decided then I’d be sleeping in my nightie, too, though I didn’t usually wear one at home. I didn’t want to get up in the middle of the night desperate to pee and shock Mum with it all if she happened to be around. Unlikely as it was, it was best avoided.

Breakfast was easier than I counted on. Mum had told me the day before, after Fiona left, that she’d convinced them not to punish me about the weekend, though she didn’t say how. Still, when I sat with them both, I was expecting a lecture or a scolding, but all I got was a gentle reminder to be more careful in future, and to be good to Fiona.

“She’s a very mature, responsible girl”, said Mum. “We’re hoping some of her will rub off on you. Be respectful, listen to her, and do as she says. After all she’s done for you, all the help and guidance she’s given you, it’s the least you owe her.”

Do as she says? Had she told them about us, and how submissive I was? They made it sound like she was in charge of me, like a nanny or something. I supposed they might see her as a surrogate elder sister or mentor. They might even have a point, but I didn’t like it.

“You do know I fancy her, right?”

“We know”, said Father. “You also told us you’re not girlfriends, though. We look forward to the day that changes, but in the meantime, try to show some appreciation for all her effort. We were ready to punish you and split you both up, but she convinced us she will take care of you, so you have her to thank for that.”

I blushed. It really did sound like my parents expected me to obey her. Still, at least they had given up on tearing us apart, or keeping me home. Trusting her to look after me wasn’t such a bad thing, even if it made me feel small and dependent.

“So can I go to Fiona’s after school, then?”

“I’m sorry”, said Father. “It was just my shock and anger speaking. You can go anywhere you want. Make sure your chores and school work are done, though, right?”

“Thanks, Dad”, I said, smiling. “I will, don’t worry.”

My parents rarely apologised to me. It had sometimes made me pretty resentful to see them change their minds without acknowledging it, but it seemed that was over. Father didn’t seem to think children deserved apologies, or all that much consideration, really. For Mother it was more of a refusal to dwell on her past mistakes.

I got ready for school, though I didn’t have my coursework with me. Clara had destroyed what I’d done in advance, and I hadn’t managed to do anything at Fiona’s, either, since I hadn’t gone to class and didn’t have my things with me. I’d try to get my teachers to give me an extension. My phone was still dead, but there was a shop near the school and I hoped to get a SIM card during the break. I’d have to ask Fiona for money again, though, as I’d spent everything on Clara.

People waved at me when I got to school. They were starting to acknowledge me now. It didn’t hurt that I hang around with Fiona and her clique, but even Sylvia, Sampo and Oscar made a difference compared to having no friends at all.

“Hey, Amanda, here!” said Sylvia, trying to call my attention in the crowd.

I made my way towards her, keeping an eye out for Fiona.

“Didn’t see you yesterday. You alright?”

“Fine”, I said. “I was ill but I’m ok today. Seen Fiona around?”

She laughed.

“Can’t get her out of your head, can you?” she said. “There she is.” She pointed at her as she made her way through the crowd straight towards us. “Wow, she’s actually giving a shit about you. Does she have a temperature?”

I chuckled, knowing how indifferent Fiona could seem. I knew better though, from her own recent behaviour, which left no doubt about it, and Aideen’s assessment, which I trusted. Still, I suspected the next time she ignored me it would make me feel like a toddler sent to the naughty corner again. I might know she cared, but I needed to feel it, too.

“Anyway, Sampo was looking for you yesterday”, she said.

“Huh”, I said. “I’ll talk to him. Do you know why?”

“I have my guesses”, she said. “Better for him to tell you though.” Well, wasn’t that mysterious?

“Morning, Syl”, said Fiona, looking at her for a moment. “Morning, Amanda. How are you doing?”

“I’m mostly ok”, I said. I didn’t want to go into detail with so many other people around. She stroked my back, testing me, and I winced a little, but the pain wasn’t too bad.

“Can we go to the phone shop during the break?” I said. “I need a new SIM card.”

She nodded and we went in. Kira waved at me too, and gave Fiona a rather smug smile. If I tried something that cheeky she’d probably make me regret it, but, to my surprise, she blushed and let it go.

We all went our ways and I got to my first class with Miss Swanson.

“Welcome back, Ms Rossi”, she said as she saw me come in, a few seconds before the bell. “It seems you have found time to come to class again. No, don’t bother sitting down; go to the blackboard. You’ll be showing us your solutions to yesterday’s coursework.”

Just what I needed. At least it was maths.

Miss Swanson had me there for a while, solving problem sets, hoping I would make a mistake, but soon it became clear I knew the material. She let me go back to my seat and chose another unfortunate to put on the spot, while the rest of the class checked their own work or doodled and dozed.

I noticed Sampo attended this class too, and he seemed to be looking at me as I made my way back. I looked back at him, wondering if there was something wrong with me--worrying about my clothing and my bruises--and he blushed and looked away, as if I’d caught him doing something he shouldn’t. Strange.

When the class ended, Miss Swanson talked to me for a moment, asking if everything was fine. She was worried I’d missed a day, though I had a note from Aideen--now my psychologist. I’d done well on the blackboard, though, so she wasn’t concerned about my grades, just my personal life, and that wasn’t something I wanted to discuss with her, much as I appreciated her good intentions. Someone like her at the right time might actually have helped, but now it was just intrusive.

At the break I joined Fiona, Kira and Megan. Kira seemed a lot more friendly and even greeted me by name, whereas Megan was reserved, but at least didn’t insult me or make fun of me.

“Shall we go to the phone shop, then?” said Fiona, looking at me.

“No”, I said. “I have to talk to Sampo, first. Sylvia said he wanted to see me.”

“Wow, is this becoming nerd central, or what?” said Megan, rolling her eyes.

I ignored her and looked around. After a while, I found Sampo, and he was already making his way towards us. I waved at him.

“Hey, Amanda”, he said. “Mind talking in private for a sec?”

“Uh, in--” I said.

“No”, said Fiona. “If you want to talk to her, you do it in front of me.”

That was embarrassing. I hoped it wasn’t my parents’ idea somehow. I loved when Fiona took care of me, but this was a bit too controlling. I couldn’t find a graceful way to object, not wanting to make a fuss, and though Sampo was surprised, he didn’t want to contradict her, either. We walked away from Kira and Megan and found a quieter place to talk.

“Uh, Amanda?” he said. “I was wondering if ... well, I don’t know, maybe...” He gulped. “Would you like going out with me tomorrow?” he said, as quickly as he could get the words out, blushing.

“Me?” I squeaked. “Uh, I don’t know...” I looked at Fiona. Would she mind if I did? She smiled at me and nodded.

So now came the other half of the question: did I want to? It was the first time a guy asked me out. I wasn’t really sure, but I didn’t think I liked guys. On the other hand, I couldn’t say I’d ever had the chance to try it. I could tell some were attractive, but it just didn’t feel the same.

When I thought of Fiona ... well, everything inside me fluttered and trembled, and I got this sensation ... It was really hard to describe: a mixture of fear and excitement. Something like the vertigo I got leaning over a cliff, making my soles and calves tingle, or jumping into a swimming pool from high up, enjoying the speed and the lack of control, like riding on a rollercoaster. It was different with guys. I might like his body or be drawn to his personality, but it was a sort of abstract realisation. It came with none of the quivering and wobbly feelings spreading from my tummy all around my body.

“Sampo, don’t tell, but you know I ... I like girls, right?” I said, trying to be as honest as possible.

“Huh. Is that a no, then?” he said.

“It’s a cautious yes”, I said. “I’m curious, but I don’t know how it’s going to go, ok? I don’t want to mislead you and I can’t promise you anything.”

He smiled. It seemed he hadn’t really expected me to agree.

“Not tomorrow”, said Fiona. “You may go on Thursday if you like.”

“Fiona?” I said. Goodness, I sounded whiny even to myself. “Why can’t it be tomorrow?”

“It’s fine”, he said. “Thursday works for me. Shall I pick you up after class?”

“Great”, I said, a little embarrassed.

“If anything bad happens to her, I’ll hold you responsible”, she said.

I was mortified, and Sampo looked a little scared and confused. He probably couldn’t understand what Fiona and I were to each other. Good luck with that. I couldn’t either, and I was directly involved.

“Fiona, please?” I said, blushing.

“Shush, Mandy”, she said. “I mean it, Sampo.”

“Fiona, stop it!” I said.

“Uh, sure”, he said. “I’m just ... when does she need to be back?”

Oh, great; now he thought she was my mum!

“That’s up to you, so long as she’s in one piece”, she said.

He nodded, hesitated for a moment, turned away, and left. It seemed he couldn’t quite believe he had a date with me. Holy shit, he had a date with me! Someone asked me out! It was just getting to me then. I smiled, and Fiona patted my head. I was a bit resentful about her attitude, and I stuck my tongue out at her, making her laugh.

“Come, little one”, she said. “Let’s get your phone back to life.”

We joined Kira and Megan again, and walked to the shop together.

“So what did Sampo want?” said Kira.

“It turns out,” said Fiona, “little Mandy has a date.”

I glared at her. She knew I didn’t like that name, much less in public. She didn’t seem to care.

“Awwww, nerd love!” said Megan. “He’s not bad-looking, either. I thought you and Fiona were...”

“Just friends”, said Fiona. Two short simple words, like a knife twisting inside my guts. “For now.” And those two were like the promise of an intimate caress. I was such a silly lovestruck girl. “Anyway, you know I’m not exclusive.”

“Yeah, but I don’t get it”, said Megan. “If my boyfriend went out with someone else, I’d kick him in the balls.” She twirled her foot.

“What’s the point?” said Fiona. “I don’t see how it hurts me, so long as everyone is clear I’m in charge and I have the final say about all that happens.”

“Ugh, you’re an alien”, said Megan. “What do you think, Kira?”

“I think I wouldn’t like it, but I guess Fiona’s not afraid of not getting what she wants”, said Kira. “If she’s not jealous, it kind of makes sense. Can’t see the downside, really. Plus whatever else, Fiona’s fair, and she enjoys variety.”

We got to the shop and they got me a replacement SIM card on the spot, which was good. I thought it might take days. Fiona paid for that one, and got me two prepaid new ones, taking note of their numbers.

“This one,” she said, “you keep always with you. Got it?”

“Uh, sure”, I said.

“And this one, you keep in your room, in your safe place. Got it?”

“I’m not stupid, ok?”

“Don’t talk back to me, Mandy. Got my instructions?”

I sighed.

“Yes, Mum.” I regretted my outburst as soon as I said it, fearing she would shout at me or even strike me.

She raised her hand to me and I flinched.

“It’s alright, little one”, she said, stroking my face. “I know I can be difficult. You’re allowed to complain, I won’t hurt you.”

I nestled my cheek against her hand and heard her chuckle with amusement. Megan and Kira cooed at us. I looked away, trying not to get upset.

“Amanda?” she said. “I’m sorry. I’m just being careful.”

“Fine”, I said, sullen.

“Come on”, she said. “Don’t be like that, sweetie.”

She was right. I was being ungrateful again. She’d been very generous to me, and the extra SIM cards seemed overcautious, but kindly meant, and they might come handy one day. She didn’t have to make me feel like a little child, though.

“Don’t call me Mandy again, please?” I said, with a tentative smile. “Not in public, at least? And thank you. I appreciate all you do for me. Just ... I’m not eight, ok?”

“That’s better”, she said. “Now get the card in.”

I did, and my mobile began to beep.

“My, you’re popular”, said Kira.

Ten texts and missed calls from Fiona. She really had tried hard to contact me that day. After I read them all, I got a last one. From Clara.

A part of me didn’t want to read it. I just wanted to delete it and act as if it didn’t exist. Fiona realised something was wrong and looked over my shoulder.

“Open that”, she said.

I obeyed.

“Ugly, clumsy, worthless little Mandy, thank you for such an unforgettable weekend. I want you to know that I never intended to go that far. I’m sorry it had to get to that, but you know it was your fault for being so disobedient. I hope you learned your lesson and that you never force me to punish you that hard again. It may have been fun, but I much prefer it when you know your place and do as you’re told like a good little slave. After your misbehaviour, I’ve talked to the twins, and they look forward to your wonderful foot rubs. Pity I couldn’t keep that all to myself, but you don’t deserve any mercy. Can’t wait to see how much more eager to please you’ll be over New Year, if you know what’s good for you. Your lady Clara.”

She’d never let me live in peace. I just wanted to break something, so I raised the phone and was about to throw it on the floor as hard as I could, when Fiona grabbed my hand and took it. I yelled at her and tried to get it back.

“Stop, Amanda”, she said, softly.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” said Megan. “Is she crazy?”

“Let Fiona sort her out”, said Kira. “Come on, let’s get back.”

They left us alone, and I started crying and hitting Fiona with my fists.

“I hate her! I want her to die! I hate you too!” I said.

Fiona sighed, easily held my wrists with one of her hands, seemingly more worried about hurting me than whatever damage I could do to her, and apologised to the shopkeeper, saying I’d got bad news from my family.

“Let me go!” I said.

She kept hold of me as I cried from frustration, trying to get away from her, but she was so much stronger than me all I could do was let myself be dragged out of the shop. She found a quiet corner and hugged me tightly.

“It’s alright, Amanda”, she said. “Let it all out. It’s ok to hate her. It’s ok to want justice.”

“How can I be such a horrible person?” I said in between sobs. “I don’t want justice. I want to hurt her. I want to hear her screaming in pain. I want her to beg for my mercy and apologise for everything she ever did to me.”

She let me cry myself out, holding me close. When I got a little calmer, she knelt by me, getting her face closer to my height.

“You don’t, really”, she said. “You’re upset now, but you wouldn’t really hurt her.” She looked into my eyes. “I know you, and you’re no good at hurting people, Amanda.”

I resented her so much then. Her poise, her beauty, even her height. She knelt there, looking down at me like a child, knowing me better than I did myself. It was unbearable.

“And that’s why this shit happens to me”, I said. “I’m a stupid doormat. You’re right, damnit. I couldn’t really hurt her. I just ... it’s not fair! You’ll be eating dinner at some fancy restaurant, having fun with your perfect parents, while mine ignore me and my cousins treat me like dirt to tread on, because I can’t ... fight ... back.”

“Was that it?” she said. “That’s not going to happen, Amanda.”

“Right, sure it isn’t”, I said.

“Have I ever given you reason to doubt my word?” I’d made her angry.

“I’m sorry”, I said quietly, trembling.

“There are two possibilities: either I go with you for New Year, or you come with me. Whatever happens, you won’t be without me.”

I hugged her, resting my head on her shoulder, sniffling, as she rocked me and stroked my hair.

“I promise you this is the last time your cousins ever hurt you”, she said. “I have plans: for us, for you, for them. Trust me.”

I had to. What else could I do, give myself up to despair?

“Fiona, please forgive me for all this. I’m such a silly, worthless mess...”

“All things considered, I’ve been going easy on you, but next time you call yourself worthless I’m going to slap you again.”

I laughed in spite of myself. It didn’t seem the best way to deal with my feelings of inadequacy, but it would have to do. She stood up, I blew my nose and did my best to wipe my tears. We walked back to school hand in hand.

“Block her”, she said.

“What if she--”

“I don’t care. Block her now.”

It was a relief. At least she wouldn’t bother me again.

“You’re no good at hurting people, Amanda, and I like that about you; but I am. What they did to you will not go unpunished. I give you my word Clara will regret every wrong she’s ever done you. I swear it on my name.” I looked at her face, and she was cold as ice. It made me shiver. I hoped I had not unleashed something terrible, but it was beyond my control now.

So be it.

I managed to calm down and pay attention in class, and got extensions for the remaining coursework I hadn’t turned in. Aideen’s note and my previous academic record helped a lot.

After classes, Fiona took me to her place. We did some school work for a while, and I suggested we learn some music. Aideen had given me the chance, and I wanted to make use of it. We took her violin and Fiona’s recorder to their music room. She told me they usually used the living room when they played together, but it was better to practice there, to avoid disturbing people. It was a well-insulated room with padded walls and enough recording equipment for amateur production.

“Shall we prepare something seasonal for New Year?” she said. “Maybe one of the pieces from Mother’s crazy book?”

“Crazy book?” I said.

She pulled out an old, thick book from the pile, scanned for a while, and showed me.

“Take a look at this one, ‘Don oiche ud i mBeithil’”, she said.

I checked it out and recoiled.

“Are you crazy?” I said. “Have you seen the ornamentation on that?”

“That’s why we call it the crazy book”, she said. “Come on, we can do it if we try hard.”

“Yeah?” I said. “And who’s going to sing it? I can’t even read that.”

“Damn, you’re right”, she said. “Can’t read it either, don’t have the Gaeilge. A pity, it looks pretty.” She turned a few pages. “This one: the Wexford Carol. More appropriate for our instruments, anyway, and it’s got an English version.”

I sighed. It looked rather daunting.

Of course, what Fiona wanted, Fiona got. I was going to have to practice a lot if we wanted to be able to credibly play that by the year’s end. Even then, I wasn’t at all sure I’d be able to do all that.

“We can ask Mother’s help if we get stuck”, she said, seeing my hesitation. “She’s good.”

“She’s good doesn’t mean I am, but fine”, I said. “Last resort I can ignore some of the hard bits. You don’t come with a slow gear installed, do you?”

“Everything worth doing is worth overdoing”, she said, smiling. She was so excited I’d agreed though, she even clapped in delight and kissed my cheek. “It’s going to be great. I never had a sibling or a cousin my age to play with. It will be fun, you’ll see.”

We worked on it for half an hour, and I realised how difficult it was going to be. My fingers were getting tired, too. I wasn’t used to it anymore. Fiona saw me flagging and suggested we break it up, which surprised me, but it seemed she wasn’t going to push me beyond my limits, at least.

We went back to the living room, put the instruments and books in their places, and sat on the sofa. Well, I sat, and she lay down, stretching her socked feet over my lap. She turned the TV on, and we chatted for a while, paying no attention to it in the background. It took a lot of effort for me not to focus on her feet, especially since she kept wiggling and pressing them on my thighs, and their smell was pretty noticeable, too. Her socks were damp and I could feel them sticking to my trousers, her sweat going through to my legs. I got distracted by them a couple of times and hoped she didn’t realise it. If she knew the sort of fantasies and desires I had about them, I’d die of shame on the spot, not to mention how disappointed and disgusted she would be.

“Are you excited about your date?” she said, nudging my belly with her toes, making me squirm.

“Uh, yes”, I said. “More about the date than about Sampo, somehow, if that makes any sense?”

“Is it your first?”

“Yeah. I still can’t believe it. Someone asked me out!”

She laughed.

“Then it makes sense. Do you want ... I don’t mean to say you can’t handle yourself, but would you like any advice to prepare?”

“Yes, please. I’m pretty nervous.”

“We’ll sort you out before you go”, she said. “Sylvia’s good too and can give us a hand.”

“Should I wear the blouse you got me?”

“It would definitely look cute on you, but ... I’m not sure you’ll be up to showing that much so soon. Strip for me.”

I sat there, unused to being told to take off my clothes just like that. She prodded my side with her foot.

“Come on”, she said. “We don’t have all day.”

I jumped off the sofa and complied with her orders, worried her parents would come back from work and see me naked there. She sat up, and gently ran her fingers over my skin, tracing the bruises, making me wince slightly.

“I’m sorry”, she said. “I think that blouse is going to have to wait a week or two. We’ll try for a different look. Something more casual.”

“If I got involved with him, would that ... stop you and I from...”

“No, silly”, she said. “Get those clothes back on before I get naughty thoughts.” I dressed up again as she talked. “So long as you realise, if you’re with me, I’m in control.”

I blushed.

“Are we talking pets or girlfriends here?” I said.

“It doesn’t matter. I expect my girlfriends to be sweet and compliant, too, though not to the same extent. I can’t imagine that’d be a problem for you, anyway.”

Yes, I wanted that. Either of those. After everything that happened, I wanted Fiona to take care of me. If even my parents said she was interested, maybe I had to overcome my shyness.

“Fiona?” I had just finished dressing, and stood in front of her.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“May I...” I gulped. I was just as nervous as Sampo had been. “May I be your girlfriend, please?”

She smiled, and patted the sofa. I sat by her, as close as I could, and she lay her arm over my shoulders.

“My, are we feeling confident today, Mandy?” she said, amused.

“Not at all”, I said, stammering. “I just ... I thought you might allow it.”

“It’s too soon, little one”, she said. I gritted my teeth, trying not to cry. Of course it was too good to be true. “You’re not ready for it.”

“Explain, please?” I said, trying to hide the knot in my throat as I talked.

“When you think of being my girlfriend, what sorts of things do you imagine? You know I’m involved with a lot of social stuff in school. You’d have to come with me to those. Parties, functions, events ... People would start treating you very differently. Not to mention coming out as a lesbian.”

It was true I wasn’t ready for some of that. My parents already knew I liked girls, and Fiona in particular, but telling the whole school would be another story.

“I’m also not sure girlfriend’s what you really want”, she said. “Think about it: is it slow walks in the woods, picnics on the grass, eating out by candlelight, looking at the sunset? Or is it--be honest now, at least to yourself--warming up my bed, cooking for me, fetching my slippers, washing my feet in the bath, meekly and quietly serving me and pleasing me however I desire?”

Thinking of the former made me feel tenderness, warmth, and affection, but thinking of the latter made my cheeks red and drew an excited shudder from me. Couldn’t it be both? And if it couldn’t, which did I prefer?

“I’m not sure, Fiona.”

“Exactly”, she said. “You’re not ready. You need to know what you want, sweetie. We’ve barely met, give us time, ok? I’m not rejecting you, we could definitely have a future together, but we need to be careful. I don’t want to spoil it by making a mistake about what we need from each other.”

Why did it feel like she was, then?

She sat me on her lap and sang to me. It didn’t solve anything, but it made me feel so much better. She might be right. She usually was about this sort of thing. I was rushing, but I wanted something real with her. Something that would satisfy us both and endure anything. If I wanted that, I could wait. I could be patient.

She took me home. On the trip we talked about everything and nothing, but I couldn’t get those thoughts out of my head. She hadn’t quite said no; only, not yet.

After Fiona dropped me off, I just did a few chores, finished my coursework, and read some from Aideen’s book. It was a manual for professionals, and pretty heavy-going, but I felt flattered she thought it would do me some good. I could see a lot of myself in the descriptions, and I’d have to try the techniques to see what worked. I kept it hidden with my diaries and one of the extra SIM cards in the box under the bed.

My parents came very late, when I was already preparing for sleep. I wanted to tell them about my date with Sampo, but I was too tired to do so then. I lay in bed, wondering about Fiona’s question, with its apparent simplicity. The more I turned it over in my head, the harder it became to answer: what did I really want?

I wasn’t enjoying sleeping alone, at all. I had nightmares and found myself tossing and turning, wishing Fiona were there to cuddle me close and make it all better. It seemed she was addictive, and I was on withdrawal. I had to ask her if I could join her for the weekend, as she had hinted earlier.

I hadn’t managed to sleep very well. I got up and I looked at myself naked in the mirror to see the progress, and for the first time I saw the bruising beginning to fade. Fiona had been right: it would be too soon to wear my blouse. My skin didn’t feel as tender, though, and I could access my whole range of movement without discomfort. I couldn’t say I had come out of it unscathed, but there would be no permanent damage to my body. Now if only those nightmares stopped bothering me...

My parents looked like zombies. They were always so worried and overworked. It hadn’t been by my choice, but I hated they had to deal with all my nonsense after their break. I wished they could have a few days off with nothing to concern them.

“Mum, Dad?” I said. They looked at me with weary faces, wondering what I had done wrong this time. Was I such a constant disappointment? “I have a date tomorrow.”

Mum’s fingers trembled as she held her cup. Dad groaned.

“Fiona?” she said.

“No”, I said. “It’s a guy. He’s called Sampo.”

“Wait, but aren’t you and Fiona--” she said.

“Yeah”, I said. “She told me she’s ok with it.”

“Are we getting old, or are young people getting stranger and stranger?” said Dad, looking at Mum.

“You sure she’s not upset and hiding it?” said Mum, to me.

“Come on”, I said. “This is Fiona. Do you think she’s got trouble letting people know how she feels?”

“You might be surprised, Amanda”, she said. “It can be harder when you love someone.” She gave Dad a fond look, probably remembering something about their courting. They’d never talked to me about it, so I wouldn’t know.

“Well, we talked it through”, I said. “She also thinks we shouldn’t be girlfriends yet--yes, Dad, I asked.”

“Ok, you really are growing up”, he said. “Not sure how to feel about it all. This Sampo, is he a good student?”

I nodded.

“Alright”, he said. “Fiona knows the people here. If he were bad for you, she’d let you know. Have fun and be careful.”