Chapter 71: The Void

White. No matter where Yren looked, there was only white. There were no variations. There were no shadows. He didn’t even cast a shadow. There was only ... white.

The white was odorless. It was not hot or cold. It was ubiquitous and unlimited.

He could hear, though. There was a cacophony right on the edges of his hearing. At first, he thought it was a chorus of people screaming. As he listened, though, he came to the conclusion that the screaming was really only one woman, layered over and over until the scream sounded almost choral.

He looked down at his right hand, where he wore what he assumed was his father’s ring. The ring’s twin, what he thought of as his mother’s, was on Teran’s finger but this one was on his own. He’d meant to give it to Bena but had never gotten around to it. Now, it was burning hot. There was pain ... but the pain was distant. It bothered him not only because the pain was so distant but also because the ring had always been inert on his finger. His understanding was that the ring, for reasons unknown to him, would not work for him. At least, that was what the metal within the ring had always seemed to indicate, when it deigned to speak at all – which wasn’t often.

Pulling his attention from the ring, he took a step. Then another. After a dozen, he looked around and then back, but it was as if he’d not moved. There was no trail. There was no difference. Up and down, left and right, back and forward, there was nothing to see in any direction. There was only the white and, in his ears, the screaming. Like the white, it didn’t change. It didn’t get closer or farther. It just remained constantly at the edge of his hearing.

He sat down. He put his hand down to try to feel what he was sitting on, but his hand continued, encountering nothing. Evidently, there was nothing for him to feel. He sat on ... nothing.

For a moment, he considered that. Something was wrong. Well, there were several things wrong, the sea of white in every direction only one. Another was the continuous screaming, without any real change and without pauses for breath. There was also what was missing. He felt ... nothing. There was no frustration. There was no anger. He didn’t even feel curiosity.

Even worse, he knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t worried.

“I always hated the void.”

It was different. A difference. He turned to the sound of the voice. It was a female, but he couldn’t even guess at an age. There was a glow around her, and it partially blinded him.

“At least the voids I visit are filled with Order, instead of Chaos.” He could sense her shudder but couldn’t actually see it.

She was beautiful, of that he was certain. He tried to place the color of her hair, but he couldn’t quite narrow the color down. The same with the color of her eyes. The shape of her face was a mystery. He knew she was beautiful, but he couldn’t define why he thought she was beautiful. It was as if every time he tried to take notice of some facet of her body, his thoughts just shied away.

“Are you done?” the woman asked with a chuckle. Her voice was musical ... but he couldn’t quite figure out the tune.

“I’m done,” he remarked. He wasn’t surprised that she knew what he was doing or what he was thinking. He should have been surprised ... but he wasn’t.

The pain from the ring on his finger was distant but mildly annoying. He tugged at the ring, but it would not move. He scratched at it, but it didn’t help. It didn’t bother him, really, but it was just at the edge of his awareness which was irritating.

“I’m sure that must be annoying,” the woman remarked.

“Perhaps,” he said evenly. “I’m not certain why it’s hurting now. It always told me it would not work for me, though it never said why.”

“The elementals, you mean?”

“Well, yes,” Yren agreed dispassionately. “I still call it ‘talking to metal’ though I know that description is inaccurate.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised the elementals bound within the rings speak to you at all,” the woman replied thoughtfully. “I’m even more surprised you can understand them. They are very, very old.”

Yren’s face creased in confusion. “I thought the elementals were born when the universe was born?”

“Some were,” the woman confirmed. “Others came into existence when certain elements were changed into metal.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“I’m not sure I can explain it to you,” the woman replied. “It has to do with things beyond what you currently know. Suffice it to say some elementals are older than others. They come into existence at the same time as the metal to which they’re bound. The rings are very, very old.”

Yren scratched again at his skin around the finger.

“If it’s bothering you that much, why not just take it off.”

“I don’t seem to be able to remove it,” he replied.

“Oh,” the woman responded, her voice sounding puzzled. Then he sensed her eyes widening. “OH. No. I guess not. It’s the nature of the void, I fear. Still, if you could remove it, what would you do with it?”

“Nothing,” Yren remarked without thinking it through. “I’d hold it until I can give it to Bena.”

“From in here?” the woman chuckled. “That would definitely be a feat.”

Yren dropped his hand back in his lap. “When I get out of the void.”

“It would be a waste,” the woman remarked airily. “Bena already has Deia to protect her. It would just be a barrier between the two. That would not be a good thing.”

“I didn’t know that,” he replied thoughtfully.

“Are you okay?” the woman asked.

Yren frowned. “I think I’m missing something. I don’t seem to be able to feel anything. The ring is irritating, but I don’t feel anger or happiness or fear or ... anything, really.”

“It is the nature of this particular void,” the woman said, her voice sad. “It’s another difference from the void I visit. This one is not natural.”

“It is hard to imagine a void that is natural,” Yren remarked evenly. “I would think it would be the nature of a void to be filled.”

The woman laughed, then came and sat down right in front of him. “You might be right. Deia and I have been arguing over that for ... well, let’s just say a very long time.”

They sat quietly for a moment, Yren listening to the screaming. Part of his mind analyzed the woman in front of him, trying to find a single aspect of her he could hold onto. He was looking for something of her – anything of her – he could build a memory around, but there was nothing. Every time he tried to build a single memory, whatever he was focusing on just slipped away. It didn’t bother him, but he redoubled his effort.

“It won’t work,” the woman giggled. “Do you know who I am?”

Yren thought for a moment, dispassionately turning things over in his mind. “You’re Kyr.”

“Impressive,” the woman said, her voice filled with astonishment. “How did you know?”

Yren considered it for a moment. “I’m not certain but I think it was your voice. It took me a moment to place it. I remember you singing on the day of remembrance.”

“Still impressive,” Kyr replied. “My song was my sacrifice so you could spend time with your family, including your fallen father. Ober has always enjoyed my singing, so we made a deal. As long as I sang, you could remain in the land between life and death, your family visiting you.”

“Oh,” Yren remarked dispassionately. “I thought that was just because it was the day of remembrance.”

“Well, the day of remembrance opened the doorway,” Kyr admitted. “It’s usually more spiritual than tactile, though. I didn’t mind the sacrifice. I like to sing, though I prefer to sing for my own reasons. It was worth it to give you that time, though.”

Yren considered it. “Thank you. It was a great gift.”

“Where am I?” Yren asked as soon as the thought entered his mind.

“Locked in a void inside of your mind,” Kyr explained.

Yren considered Kyr’s words briefly, then frowned. “If I’m within my own mind, why is there a woman’s voice screaming at the edge of my awareness.”

Kyr’s look turned sad. “It is her pain that is used to create the void.”

Yren thought about it a moment. “Then it’s wrong. It’s not supposed to be there. Which means, I don’t belong here.”

“No,” Kyr agreed. “You don’t. You know how to get out, don’t you?”

Yren thought things through for a moment. “Yes. It has to do with my emotions, doesn’t it?”

“It does,” Kyr confirmed.

“I thought my emotions were gone, but they’re not,” Yren explained. “They’re just ... disconnected. They are difficult to hold onto. My questions, after all, are part of my curiosity. Where there is curiosity, there are the other emotions as well.”

“True,” Kyr said, almost laughing.

“Is that why you came?” Yren asked. “To explain to me how to get out?”

“No,” Kry replied. “You already knew how to get out. I didn’t need to come here for that.”

Yren considered that for a moment. “Then why did you come?”

“I wanted to see you,” Kyr explained.

“You saw me at the day of remembrance,” Yren reminded her.

“I was busy at the time,” Kry replied. “I wanted a moment to look at you up close.”

“Why?”

“You’re not ready for that answer,” Kyr laughed. “Let’s just say I came to commend you on finally accepting this phase of your life – and to give you a warning.”

“A warning?” Yren asked.

“You’ve begun lightly touching the outermost edges of your abilities,” Kyr responded. “You are using them like a club; a blunt instrument. It is a function of how you unlock them. You rely on your rage and hatred to open your abilities for you. These are harsh emotions, full emotions. They lack subtlety.”

Yren paused, his face creased in thought. “I know of no other way to access them except through hatred and rage. It’s what I’ve always felt when using them.”

“Of course,” Kyr smiled. For the life of him, Yren couldn’t comprehend how he knew she was smiling, he just knew she was. His inability to focus on her enough to remember her was irritating. “But constantly striking out with all of your strength is dangerous ... and largely unnecessary.”

He considered what the goddess was telling him. “I’m not certain I understand. I’ve needed the power I’ve used.”

“Have you?” she asked. “When you were teleporting from one place to another during the fight with the dragons, you poured enough power into every movement to transport you ... well, let’s just call it an unbelievably long distance. It quickly exhausted you, long before you should have been exhausted.”

“Let’s consider it another way,” she mused, noting Yren’s look of confusion. “When you work metal, do you strike it with all your strength every single time?”

“No,” he responded confidently. He understood metal-working; not so much this other ability. “If you do that, you’ll crack the metal.”

“Just so,” Kyr nodded. “If you pour everything into every act using your other abilities, you will be what cracks. There is only so much this body can take. You’ve been lucky so far, healing yourself almost as quickly as you’ve been hurting yourself. That kind of imbalance, however, cannot last forever. Eventually, you’re going to strike the metal too hard and you’re going to crack.”

“So, what do I do?” the young man asked plaintively.

“You learn to use your abilities,” Kyr chuckled. “You believe you are learning their use but using them is an impossible lesson to learn on your own. It would be like describing a rainbow to a blind person.”

Yren thought for a moment, considering how he’d describe a rainbow to someone who couldn’t see colors or water. He realized it would be impossible.

“So, how am I to learn?”

“How did you learn to read and write?” Kyr asked in response.

“My mother began my teaching,” Yren replied after a moment’s thought. “Elva continued it. I’ve picked up more on the journey from Hasp to Callisto.”

“Precisely,” Kyr responded smugly. “You had teachers to teach you. Like your mother, the elementals have begun teaching you but, unlike your mother, they are not extremely knowledgeable about your abilities because they do not have a common reference. They are especially ignorant of your body’s limitations.”

Yren looked puzzled and Kyr continued explaining. “The elementals are of Shadow but have never touched it. Likewise, they’ve never had a human body. It would be like your mother trying to teach you to read when she couldn’t do it herself.”

“Then the elves were right,” Yren declared after a moment’s pause. “It is Shadow I’m using. I really am one of these Runesward they talked about.”

Kyr tilted her head. “You are,” she agreed. “After a fashion. The elves don’t understand everything and I’m afraid we’re moving into something I can’t discuss.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Yren asked curiously, his brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Does it matter?” Kyr laughed. “If it helps, you are THE Runesward. Or, at least, you could be. The others, the previous elves, were just flawed replicas of you.”

Yren frowned deeply in confusion. “I came afterwards, though. How could they be replicas of me?”

Kyr paused a moment. “We’re once again moving into an area I won’t discuss. You deserve ... a small hint of an answer, though.”

Kyr took another moment to collect her thoughts. “Contrary to what some mortals believe, gods cannot see the future. Not with any clarity, at least. We see ... all the possibilities of all the possible futures. Long ago, the Elder Gods saw the possibility of what you might one day become. Even just the possibility frightened them, more so because they could not see exactly what led to ... you. They had the... interesting ... idea that if they could bring about the possibility you represent, they might control it; control ... well, basically, you. They failed.”

“I might one day become?” Yren questioned.

“The future is not yet written,” Kry said with a chuckle. “You have the potential ... but it is still only potential.”

Yren sighed. “Ardt mentioned something similar during the day of remembrance. He said I have a great potential that I must fulfill.”

Kyr said nothing. Yren got the impression she was just waiting for him to continue.

“What do I need to do to realize this potential?”

“Many things,” Kyr replied with a small laugh. Her laughter was like the tinkling of bells in a warm summer breeze. “As always, the first thing you have to do is to learn.”

“So, who should I get to teach me?” Yren asked. “If I’m the Runesward, and the elves are correct, there is no one alive who is capable of touching Shadow.”

“I can’t tell you,” Kyr said. “There are rules even gods must follow. However, I think you already know the answer – or can figure it out if you think it through. I can tell you that, like learning to read, it is going to take more than one teacher.”

Kyr got up and, though he couldn’t understand it, Yren knew she was smiling at him.

“You’re leaving?” Yren asked.

“Yes,” Kyr replied. “I think you’ll agree the void is not very pleasant.”

“Is that why the woman is screaming?” Yren asked.

Kyr’s glow dimmed slightly. “No. The woman isn’t in the void. As I said, the woman is the cause of the void.”

“So, it caused her pain to make the void?” he questioned. “And she still screams that pain?”

“She didn’t make the void,” Kyr responded, her voice sad. “She did something so horrible even the gods were shocked. We considered intervening but her people, the mages, took action before we’d decided what to do. In a very real sense, they turned her into the void, though that wasn’t their intention – and she’s been screaming ever since, though, of course, no one can hear her outside of the void. Or maybe it’s just that no one is listening; I’m not sure. A bit of her existence beyond the screaming remained, however, perverting the very earth. Someone has found a way to use that perversion for a purpose much like what the woman originally did herself.”

“Are you and your brothers and sisters going to intervene this time?” Yren asked.

“If it goes too far,” Kyr said cryptically. “Enough of us are aligned that we’ll take steps if necessary.”

Then, she was gone, and Yren was again alone in a world of white.

“Such a big, strong slave,” Darrowyn Caniferd purred, running her hands down Yren’s chest. The young man’s muscles were hard under the gray shirt, and her body tingled as she ran her fingers over their definition. He was cut hard, every muscle sculpted.

Her eyes travelled up to his face. His black hair was cut rather short, but it contrasted with his blue eyes, making them appear even more blue in the dim light. The blue was frosted, however, because the eyes were dull, and his head slightly bowed. His entire face appeared to be cut from stone, with high cheekbones highlighting a solid nose and a notched chin seemingly carved from granite.

She softly wiped her hands over his thick, arched shoulders. The young man gave no notice. He stood listlessly, his hands at his sides.

“These are the moments I love,” Caniferd crooned. Her face was ruddy, and her eyes filled with a kind of crazed lust. She licked her lips as her body began to respond. Her breath turned shallow, and the tips of her breasts were long, hard and noticeable beneath her dark gray shirt. “The moments when the collar first saps all their will.”

“Lift your right leg,” Caniferd commanded, then laughed uproariously when Yren lifted his right foot off the floor, balancing solidly on his left. Caniferd turned to Hamlade. “See, Isanto? I told you he was no demon. Without his armor, he’s just another great big oaf.”

Caniferd laughed. “Using a single collar, I’m going to get everything I want. Everything. He’ll get us the armor. He’ll get us the princess. I’ll have a new toy to play with, new power to revel in and a new lover to make my own.”

“Are we finished, then?” Oloid asked from deeper in the shop. “I’ve fulfilled my part of the bargain.”

“Yes, you have,” Caniferd said softly. “I’ll be honest. I intended on killing you after you’d brought me the blue knight. I don’t like witnesses because they tend to be trouble. However, with my new playmate to bring me both my new armor and my new sex slave, I’m feeling a bit magnanimous.”

She balled up Oloid’s marker and threw it to him. “Your marker is paid in full. You’re a free man Oloid.”

Her eyes turned to Yren, her face smiling as she looked him up and down. Her attention, however, was on the former knight. From the corner of her vision, she watched as Oloid made a wide circle around her, Yren and Hamlade. She waited until he was right at the door before speaking.

“One last thing, Oloid. I suggest you move far from Callisto. I’ve given you your freedom, but if I see you again, I’m just going to assume you’re there to kill me ... and I will kill you first.”

She chuckled as Oloid walked soundlessly out of the building. “Go watch him and make sure he leaves. We’ve come too far for him to mess up our plans because he grows a conscience.”

As Hamlade went to the door, Darrowyn shuddered as gooseflesh crawled up her spine. The new life within her body was playing havoc with her mind and emotions. After countless centuries feeling no sexual cravings at all, it was now all she could do to get through a few hours without feeling hot flashes which inevitably brought moisture to her center and fiery cravings to her suddenly lust-filled mind. Giving in to those cravings, she ran her hands from Yren’s shoulders to the joining of his legs. Her hand grasped him through his pants and her eyes widened. “Such a mighty tool for such a lowly slave,” she murmured. “I look forward to trying your tool on for size. Maybe we can find a flat surface around here for me to mount you.”