Chapter 60: ‘Use by’ Date

February 13, 1982, McKinley, Ohio

"I visited Ohio State yesterday," Nancy said when we had a chance to chat on Saturday morning.

"And?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to Taft as we talked about because I can live at home. But the tour was cool, and our tour guides were absolutely hysterical."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. A guy and his fiancée. He's a criminal justice major and wants to be a US Marshal. She's in pre-law and wants to be a criminal defense lawyer. They told some of the funniest stories about High School and college and about their friends. They're both from near Cincinnati. Their High School sounds like it was WAY more fun than mine. Some kid there ran a computer dating service!"

"Angie's friend in Cincinnati dated the kid who did that, I think. He supposedly ran it for other schools, too."

"That's what they said. I guess he made a fake list for the girl who had her boyfriend's name on it in all ten slots, and they had a huge laugh about it."

"They're engaged now?"

"Yes! He asked her at her High School graduation. She's a year behind him, and they plan to get married the day she graduates from OSU, which is in two years."

"Now that's nuts!" I said. "So besides them being fun, what else did you find out?"

"We sat in on some classes and had lunch with some professors. I think it's a great school, but between the number of students and having to live in the dorms instead of living at home, I'll pick Taft."

"You were accepted to both, right?"

"Yes," Nancy confirmed. "And UC, but I decided not to visit there. I'll talk to my mom tonight and then let Taft know I accept."

"Cool. You'll have to change your work schedule, I guess."

"Probably. I need as many hours as I can get, but I have to make sure I have enough time to study, too."

"The eternal struggle," I said.

A customer came to the counter, so I went back to work, and Nancy went to the register.

February 13, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

"So, what did you want to talk about, Mike?" Mom asked.

Mom and I were sitting in the kitchen because it was too cold to sit outside on the patio, not to mention light snow was falling.

"Doctor Hart suggested we talk about what happened when all that stuff with Liz went down."

Mom picked up her mug and sipped some hot chocolate.

"I thought we were past that."

I nodded, "I know, but in talking to Doctor Hart, I realized I'm still harboring feelings of betrayal. I know I never used that word with you, but Doctor Hart said I should tell you straight out, and we should talk about it. He's concerned that one day I'll wake up resenting you, and that would wreck our relationship."

"I let Doctor Orosco play on my fears and my memories, and I allowed her to manipulate me," Mom sighed. "I think the real mistake was telling her about the incident with my friend when I was younger and then telling her about the situation with the van Dorns. And then I fell for her stupid 'What would you say if I told you... ' trick. I really am sorry, Mike."

"It hurt," I said, trying to control my emotions. "It really hurt. I was trying to help Liz, and I ended up being accused of abusing her. And not just by some «сука» (suka) either, but by my own mom. What was especially hurtful was, for the first time in my life, you didn't believe what I was saying. You took the word of a stranger over my word. I felt completely betrayed because I'd never given you a reason to doubt me." ("bitch")

My mom sighed deeply, "I know. I let my emotions and fears take control of me, and then I let Doctor Orosco manipulate me. I really am sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"I suppose the only thing I can ask for is that in the future, you trust me to tell you the truth."

"Something that would have headed off this problem."

I shook my head, "I don't think so. I think Doctor Orosco had her agenda, and she'd have gone ahead without you."

"Did Mr. Winston tell you what happened?"

"Other than the state withdrawing their report, no."

"As best we can tell, the psychiatric reports were sent by mistake. They were attached to the Family Services report when it was filed, and Doctor Orosco believed it was an official report and evidence and, as such, not covered by doctor-patient privacy. Mr. Winston says he couldn't find any court rulings one way or the other, but neither Doctor was willing to risk losing their license, and Family Services was afraid of an adverse ruling because every other professional refuted Doctor Orosco's finding."

"Well, all of that is behind us. How's Liz?"

"As well as can be expected, I think. I'm happy with her grades, and she's making some new friends."

"No change with Emmy?"

"Unfortunately, no. I've tried to speak to Mrs. Nelson a few times, but she's afraid of her husband. And Emmy is afraid of her dad."

"I just don't get it," I said. "Clark, Carter, and Larry are great friends."

"Unfortunately, you're going to run into bigotry no matter where you go, Mike. All you can do is confront it as best you can and raise your kids to reject that kind of thinking. I wouldn't advise confronting Len Nelson, though."

I nodded, "He's armed to the teeth. I mean, I totally get owning a rifle or two for hunting and maybe even a handgun for self-defense, but he has an arsenal."

"He and his friends believe they need those guns to protect themselves from the government."

"That's nuts. Heck, the Ohio National Guard has tanks and helicopters. I don't think any gun Mr. Nelson has would be more effective against them than my bolt-action .22. What does he think? That an armed rebellion could work?"

"Oh, not just that it could work, but that it's going to be necessary."

I shook my head, "I don't see how he could win. And it's not like we have an oppressive government like Russia or China or other Communist countries."

"Mr. Nelson would disagree with you."

"Right, because I have an internal passport I have to show to drive over to Kentucky. And there are soldiers on every corner with machine guns. Sure, I don't agree with everything that's going on, but oppressive? I don't think that, even after all the stuff with Family Services. As Mr. Winston reminded me repeatedly, the system worked. It sucked, but it did work, despite a few individuals who really were out to get me."

"It doesn't always work, and that's what Mr. Nelson and his friends point to. But our solution to that is voting for candidates who best represent our views, not threatening armed rebellion."

"I remember in High School reading the Declaration of Independence and wondering what 'a long train of abuses' might look like in modern times, and I'd say it looks WAY more like China or Russia than the US. I mean, I can write a letter to the editor or speak on the street corner, and nobody is going to toss me in jail. I can go to church when I want and not worry about the KGB hauling me away. And while I gripe every time I look at a paycheck about taxes, I also consider what is provided in exchange for them."

"We've always been moderates, Mike. Mostly, we vote Democratic, but in 1980, we were 'Reagan Democrats' because neither your father nor I could stomach another four years of Jimmy Carter. Speaking of that, did you register to vote?"

"There was a registration table in the dining hall about a week ago. I signed up so I can vote in the elections in November."

"I know you aren't super political, but one piece of advice — vote for good men rather than simply selecting the party you want to win. Good men of either party are better than bad men of the party you might otherwise support. Just watch out for extremes either way."

"I will. And good women, too."

"Yes, of course! I used 'men' in the generic sense, but I realize how that could be misunderstood in this context. Anyway, Liz is upstairs. She wanted to talk to you before you head over to Jocelyn's."

"I'll either be home really late or possibly stay the night."

"Just be smart, Mike."

"I will. Jocelyn and I have talked a lot, and we're both on the same page. No misunderstandings."

"Good. Did Nancy ever talk to you?"

"She did, but I don't see any future there unless she can get past her problems. The same is true for Angie, though she's still praying with me and going to church with me."

Mom smiled, "That's the future Mrs. Doctor Loucks, I'd say. Doing THAT is actually a far stronger indication than even going to bed together."

"Perhaps. I am dating a girl from Saint Michael the Archangel. Her dad is Russian, and her mom is Finnish, but they don't keep to the traditional ways the way we do. Well, at least on some things."

"Saint Michael is a bit more Americanized than Holy Transfiguration is. But I think one more generation will change things at Holy Transfiguration, too. There are far more kids like you than like Natalya Vasilyevna — you like a few of the old ways and speak a bit of Russian, whereas they are very traditional and even speak Russian at home."

"The 'Americanized' bit is true with Yekaterina Dmitryevna," I grinned. "She goes by Katy and doesn't speak a word of Russian. Her dad doesn't really speak any, either."

"How serious is this girl?"

I shrugged, "We've been out on three dates, and I'll see her again on Friday. She's only a Junior, so she has another year before she graduates. Tasha has two. But I'm keeping things more casual. I made a mistake with Nancy in that regard, but it was mostly my fault, not hers because I knew we didn't have the same view of our relationship."

"You need to be careful with Tasha in that regard," Mom said. "She has you two wearing crowns the minute she graduates."

"It's impractical," I said. "And I've said that to her. Even if she were to go to work and make $5.00 an hour, that would hardly support a household. And I did the numbers, including working over the Summers before my third year of medical school. It's going to be touch-and-go, though I have some ways to save money if I need to. I'm really hoping for the RA position for my Junior and Senior year, though I'm not sure how all this stuff with Dean Parker will figure into that. If I get the RA spot, then the finances are very good. If not, then, as I said, it'll be touch-and-go."

"What options?"

"Not taking karate, and I can get my guitar lessons free if I sing with the professor's daughter. But that's trading time for money, so to speak. And honestly, I don't think I'll need guitar lessons beyond the end of the year. I'm not trying to be a professional or start a band or anything."

"How is karate going?"

"It's going," I sighed. "But I don't have enough time to put into it to really advance, and the Sensei in McKinley isn't going to promote me anytime soon. I've thought about dropping it, which would mean I could save that money, and if I did sing and get my lessons for free, I could stop working on Saturdays. But I'm not sure. I plan to talk it over with Jocelyn."

"She's always given you pretty good advice."

"She has. She's my best friend now, even more so than Dale. If only we'd had the courage to tell each other how we felt when we were fifteen or sixteen, things might have been different. But who knows? I'm not going to do anything now to mess up our friendship."

"Have you heard from Dale?"

"He finally got it mostly out of his system and is back to getting straight A's after what was for him a mediocre first semester."

Mom laughed, "And you?"

"I never had the need to go crazy," I said. "Nancy is the only girl at school I've been with. Dale, on the other hand..."

"I don't need to know," Mom smirked. "But you seem very controlled, just as you always have. You're focused, and that helps you stay out of the rough, so to speak."

"The only golf I've played is mini golf, and they don't have any 'rough'. I did manage to keep it between the wooden boards, though! Anyway, I need to go see Liz before I go. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest."

"If you need to talk more about it, Mike, I'm here. We can't change the past, but I want to make sure we maintain our relationship."

"Thanks, Mom."

I downed the last of my hot chocolate, rinsed out my mug, then went upstairs and knocked on Liz's door. She opened it, and we exchanged a quick hug, then sat on the floor of her room, leaning against her bed.

"How are you?" I asked.

"OK, I guess," Liz replied. "Fortunately, nobody knows about most of the stuff, and I just told them I had mono."

"I suppose that makes sense. Mom told me Emmy's dad is being a jerk."

"Jerk? Try 'fucking asshole'!" she growled.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's not your fault, Mike. How could you know he was going to be here? Mom says your roommate is cool, and his mom was really nice."

"Are you making other friends?"

"There are two girls I hang out with. I'm not planning on dating, though."

"For how long?"

"At least until the Fall. I won't go to the Spring dance. It's no big deal. But there IS a big deal I bet you don't know about."

"What?"

"April Nash is pregnant!"

"Holy smokes!" I exclaimed.

"There's no chance it could be yours?" Liz asked.

"No way! When did you find out?"

"Earlier this week. She was wearing a very loose-fitting top, and she never does that. One of the girls I hang out with said her sister told her that April told her she was pregnant."

"I think I may have dodged a serious bullet at Thanksgiving."

"You think she knew she was pregnant? And wanted to try to make you think it was yours?"

"It's possible," I said. "Though if she's showing, I think she has to be in her fourth month. We did some gestational analysis stuff in biology last semester, and if she knew she was pregnant at Thanksgiving, that means she had to have missed a least one period, which suggests she conceived no later than the beginning of November, to allow for a week after her period was due. But that would only put her at three months. So I'd guess she got pregnant in October sometime."

"The Sadie Hawkins Dance?" Emmy asked. "That was mid-October. I wasn't at school, so I don't know who she asked. But if she got pregnant, then why try to sleep with you six weeks later?"

"Desperation? And the hope that I'd simply accept responsibility? But the timing would be tough for her unless the baby was born prematurely. And she'd have to hope the blood test didn't rule me out."

"Maybe she was hoping you'd decide to help her if you were a couple. I could see it, Mikey. You're a sweet, sensitive guy, and she could probably manipulate you into agreeing to help her, especially if you had sex with her."

"But what could I do? I have no money or anything."

"No, but you will, eventually."

"The baby will be eight or nine by then! Well, whether it was a scheme or not, I'm glad I didn't do anything with her."

"What if she claims you did?"

"It would have been the week of Thanksgiving, which would mean she wouldn't even be three months along. The timing just doesn't work for her to do that. Let's say she tries; what's she going to do when she delivers an obviously full-term baby only seven months after she claims she was with me?"

"Were you in town in October?"

I nodded, "Emmy's birthday."

Liz laughed, "So you WERE fucking, just not April!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I replied.

"Oh, come on, Mikey! Emmy told me everything. You made her VERY happy. She's been climbing the walls because she can't see you. She's dated a guy regularly since Christmas, but she hasn't let him. She's holding out hope for being with you again, but I don't think her dad is going to chill."

"No, I don't think he will. And honestly, as much as I like Emmy, that's a problem I don't want to have to deal with. What happens if we're a couple and I get assigned to a black doctor when I'm a medical student? Not to mention, Clark and I already agreed to room together next year, too. So long as Mr. Nelson is around, there isn't anything I can do about Emmy."

"Me either, but at least I see her at school, and I've seen her at the library and a few other places where we can get away with it. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Hanging out with Jocelyn tonight, then church tomorrow morning, hanging out here tomorrow afternoon, dinner at Tasha's, and then Monday with Jocelyn until I have to go back to McKinley. Is there anything I can do for you, Liz?"

"Not really. I just need to keep seeing my therapist and keep my grades up."

"OK. I'm going to head to Jocelyn's."

We stood up, and after a light hug, I went downstairs to let Mom know I was leaving for Jocelyn's house. After a quick hug, I headed out to my car for the short drive, and a few minutes later, Jocelyn greeted me at the door with a hug. We exchanged a quick kiss, then went inside.