Chapter 50: From Bad to Worse

November 23, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio

On Monday morning, just after breakfast, there was a knock at the door. I got up from the couch and went to open it.

"Phil?"

"Hi, Mike. Can we come in?"

"We?"

"This is Mrs. Laramy from Family Services."

"Hang on a second."

I went to the kitchen to get my dad, who followed me back to the foyer.

"Hi, Phil," Dad said. "What's up?"

"This is Mrs. Laramy from Family Services."

"Mr. Loucks? I have an order here to take custody of Elizabeth."

"What?! Why?!"

"She's being abused by your son."

"She is not!" he protested.

"I have sworn statements from two licensed psychiatrists that state that Elizabeth is being abused by your son. I have an order to have her removed from your home immediately. Once our investigation is completed, I'm sure the County Prosecutor will be preferring charges."

"Mrs. Laramy..." I started to say.

"Mike," Phil cautioned. "Please do NOT say anything. In fact, please go downstairs."

"But..."

"Mike," Dad said firmly. "Please do what Phil says."

I turned and headed toward the stairs to the basement.

"I need to take your daughter immediately, Mr. Loucks," Mrs. Laramy said. "Here's the court order."

I went to the far end of the basement and plopped down into a beanbag chair. I waited for what I knew was coming, and about three minutes later, Liz screeched and then began screaming 'no' over and over. I wanted to run upstairs, but I knew I could only get into trouble. It was about ten minutes before my dad called me to come upstairs.

Dad and Mom were sitting on the couch, looking very upset, and Mom had been crying.

"So?" I asked, sitting on the couch next to them.

"She'll be placed in emergency foster care," Dad sighed. "There will be a hearing on Wednesday."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. It's too early to talk to the attorney or your sister's new counselor."

"Would it help to talk to Doctor Hart?"

"I don't know. As soon as we can get Mr. Winston on the phone, we'll find out what we need to do. Not just about Liz, but about you."

"They're going to file charges against me," I sighed. "We know how their investigation will turn out. All the while, Liz is going to be browbeaten and become suicidal."

Mom took a deep breath and let it out.

"This is all my fault," she said, sounding very far away.

"How is it your fault?" I asked.

"The court order says I agreed with Doctor Orosco that you had probably abused Liz."

I sagged back into the couch. We were totally screwed. The entire family. Liz. Me. My parents.

"So now what?" I asked.

"In about thirty minutes, we talk to the attorney your mother works for," Dad said. "Family Services has nothing except the two psychiatrists' word for this. There's no proof. And you and Liz both deny it."

"Until they force her to say it."

"I know you're worried, Mike. I am, too. Let's see what Mr. Winston says when we speak to him."

"Dad, they'll promise she can come home if she accuses me. Or lie about how much trouble I'll be in. This could prevent me from EVER getting a medical license. Even the accusation is enough!"

"I've destroyed our family," Mom said, getting up from the couch.

"Rachel?" Dad said, sounding worried.

She ignored him and wordlessly went upstairs.

"Go after her, Dad."

"Will you be OK?"

"I have no idea. I'm going to go for a walk."

"Mike, we'll get through this."

"I wish I could believe that," I sighed.

I got my jacket, hat, and gloves and walked out into the chilly morning air. Nancy had asked me about a backup plan a few weeks earlier, and I'd said I didn't feel I needed one. Well, now I might. But what? Every single thing I'd done to this point had been with an eye towards being a doctor. If I couldn't do that, I had no idea what I'd want to do.

I knew from Jocelyn that lawyers had the same 'moral turpitude' restrictions on licenses as doctors did. And while I didn't know for sure, I suspected just about any state license could be denied if I was branded a child molester. Heck, I'd probably be kicked out of Taft and be completely unable to get a job.

I knew I was letting my mind run away with me, but I didn't see a way out. Even Liz and I getting on the witness stand and denying it would be countered by the two psychiatrists who had their minds made up. And any prosecutor worth his salt would ask Mom if she had thought, at any time, if it were possible I had done what they said. And the answer to that was clearly 'yes', as I knew from my own experience. Heck, school and work didn't even matter. I was looking at a very long stretch in the state prison for something I hadn't done.

And if that was the case, did ANYTHING really matter? I couldn't even be an acolyte at church, let alone a subdeacon or a deacon. And what was going to happen when the mere allegations came out? I'd never be allowed to see Tasha again. And I couldn't imagine any of my new friends sticking by me in that kind of situation. Jocelyn would be there, and that would help, but if I was in prison, there wasn't much she'd be able to do. I was, as Clark liked to say, well and truly fucked.

I walked, lost in my thoughts, until I reached the edge of town. I decided I'd walk around town, then head home. By then, my parents would have spoken to the attorney, and perhaps there would be a ray of sunlight in the gloom. Once I heard that, I'd go to Jocelyn's. Of everyone I knew, she was the one that could help me the most. I passed the Village Hall, then followed the sidewalk around the fire station and headed back towards home.

"Mike?" a female voice called out from behind me.

I turned and was surprised at who had called my name.

"Hi, April."

"How are you?"

She was the last person with whom I wanted to discuss my family troubles.

"OK. You?"

"Pretty good. How is college?"

"So far, so good."

"Straight A's, right?"

"Yes."

"Not surprised. I take it you're home on break?"

"Until Friday. I need to work on Saturday at the store in McKinley where I work part-time."

"Still going to church?"

I smiled, "What do you think?"

"Uh, yeah. Silly question. I'm really sorry how things ended. I guess I didn't really understand you."

"It's better we discovered the problem before it went too far."

"Do you ever wonder?"

"Wonder about what?"

"What it would have been like? After Prom?"

Despite my foul mood, I chuckled softly, "Beforehand? About every seven seconds! After we broke up, well, it wasn't possible, so thinking about it wasn't at the top of my list. Sorry."

"No, don't apologize. I thought a lot about it, too. And I was the one who led you on and then caused us to break up."

"It does take two to tango. I should have been clear about the church issue before I even asked you to go to the motel with me."

"Are you dating?"

I nodded, "I am."

"Steady?"

"No. You?"

"Nobody worthwhile is asking."

That actually surprised me a bit. April had a sweet personality, she was pretty, and she had a very nice body. I certainly had been very interested in exploring every inch of it when we'd been dating, but that was in the past.

"I guess High School boys got dumber in the four months since I left for college."

"You think so?"

"My opinion of you hasn't changed in that regard," I said.

"Would you ask me out?"

"You know the problem. We couldn't move forward in any way because of that."

"Not like boyfriend and girlfriend. I always liked spending time with you. Just friends."

I had always enjoyed spending time with April despite the frustration it often caused. But that wasn't an issue by a long shot. And the chances I'd get to see Emmy tonight, as we'd planned, were near zero. I couldn't ask Mom to call her house now, though if Mr. Nelson was at work, perhaps I could call. But I wasn't sure I could accomplish anything.

"Sure. Let me call you this afternoon. Will you be home?"

"Yes, after 10:00am."

"I'll call. I need to get back home now."

"It was good seeing you, Mike."

"You, too."

I turned and started walking towards home. I was really surprised that April wasn't dating and wondered if she was being too picky or, as the thought hit me, pining for me and turning down even nice guys. She'd said 'just friends', and I doubted she'd changed her mind about church, so I took her at her word. Even if she WAS pining for me, it didn't matter because that was an insurmountable gulf between us. I trudged home, dreading what I was going to find, and let myself into the house.

Mr. Winston, the attorney Mom worked for, was sitting in the living room talking with Dad. They called me over, and after greeting them, I took off my hat, jacket, and gloves and went to sit with them.

"Mike, Mr. Winston has some ideas. First, would you be willing to sign a release so Doctor Hart can give your records to Mr. Winston?"

"Yes, of course. Anything!"

"Good. Mr. Winston, would you explain to Mike what you plan to do? He should know."

"Certainly. Michael, we're allowed to have an independent psychiatrist or psychologist examine both you and Elizabeth. I've already made a call this morning to someone in Dayton who is an expert in incest and sexual abuse cases. She and another colleague of hers from near Cincinnati will be here tomorrow to interview you, Elizabeth, your parents, and Elizabeth's friends. Then, we'll take those reports, which we believe will be favorable, to the hearing on Wednesday and challenge the custody order."

"Will that work?"

"It's a 50-50 thing. They'll have their experts; we'll have ours. More than likely, I'll call both you and Elizabeth to the stand to deny the accusations as baseless."

"What about Mom?"

"That's a bit trickier, but our strategy will be similar to the one I'll use with your sister — that the professionals put improper pressure on your mom. With Elizabeth testifying to that pressure, which I am sure Family Services continued, we may have some success."

"So it's a coin toss about Liz," I sighed. "What about me?"

"They have a much more difficult case to make. If Elizabeth denies it happened when we're in court on Wednesday, that will go a long way to convincing the prosecutor not to file charges. It's not a guarantee because Elizabeth could change her testimony, and the court will take that into account. Without any physical evidence and the prior rapes, the State would have a tough time blaming her behavior after everything was revealed on alleged incest.

"But, and I have to say this, that doesn't mean they won't try. A common tactic would be to charge you with three or four felonies in an attempt to get you to plead to one of them in exchange for a short jail term. They count on you not being willing to take the risk of going to trial."

I shrugged, "If I'm not acquitted, my life is screwed. I won't take a plea. Ever! I'll risk pretty much everything on being found innocent at trial. I can't get a medical license with a felony conviction, especially one that's sex-related."

"That's actually very good to know. I'll make sure the prosecutor knows you'll refuse any deal. That will make them think twice about going with flimsy evidence. That said, I need to warn you that juries can do strange things, and you could be convicted on flimsy evidence. We'll need to take that into account when we see how things end up. Wednesday will tell us quite a bit."

"Convicted on flimsy evidence or pleading guilty has the same end result. Ruining my life. At that point, spending it in prison or being an outcast is pretty much the same thing in my book."

"Prison is not a place you want to be."

"I'll risk it, Mr. Winston. Anything other than no charges being filed or an acquittal is the end."

"OK. There is one more strategic thing we'll do. Assuming that Doctor Paulus and her colleague support what you and Elizabeth are saying, your parents will file a malpractice suit against Doctor Orosco."

"What will that do?"

"Scare them. Her insurance company and the clinic will be VERY concerned about the fact that it's about opinion, and if we have two independent psychologists who specialize in this saying it didn't happen and you and Liz testifying it didn't happen, they may back down. Then again, they might not. But again, we won't know. Are you free tomorrow?"

"Are you kidding? Anytime. 3:00am. 11:00pm. I don't care. I'll be wherever you want me, whenever you want me."

"OK. I'll set things up."

"Just let me know. Dad, where's Mom?"

"Upstairs. She's in bed. Doctor Morton will be here in a few minutes."

"Is he your family doctor?" Mr. Winston asked.

"Yes," Dad replied.

"Good. I want to speak to him. He'll be a good witness for us if he says he detected no signs of abuse."

"What about her gynecologist?" I asked.

"Your dad already gave me Doctor Tester's information. We'll likely put them on the stand as well, but I need to speak to them first."

"Mike, there is one more thing," Dad said.

"What's that?"

"I hate to say this, but our chances of getting Liz home are improved if you aren't living here until the matter is resolved."

I shouldn't have been surprised by that revelation. It made perfect sense, and if that's what it took to get Liz home, I was sure I could find a place to stay for the rest of the week and the week I'd be home at Christmas.

I sighed, "OK. Does that mean me not coming here at all?"

"I'm afraid so, Michael," Mr. Winston said. "We'd need to have you promise to not interact with her in any way and not come to the house. I also want to warn you that while it might help now, it could hurt you in the long run. The State will try to use that as an admission of guilt."

"Let them. I'll explain exactly what I did and why. I'm serious. Whatever it takes to get Liz home. I'll work something out."

"Please do that by tomorrow evening. That way, you aren't living here on Wednesday. I'd also ask you to run over to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles and change your license and registration to your school address or if you have another option in McKinley. And pay the $2 for each to have new documents issued."

"I'll call Nancy. I'm sure her mom will allow me to use their address. That's more permanent than the dorm. I'll do that now."

"Thanks, Mike," Dad said.

"Anything for Liz. You know that."

I got up and went to the kitchen and dialed Nancy's number. She was surprised and excited I was calling, at least until I told her why.

"Do it, Mike. Mom won't object. I'd hoped that would happen next Fall, but not under these circumstances. If you want to come here for Thanksgiving dinner, you're welcome."

"Let me see how things go on Wednesday."

"Call me and let me know, please. We'll help you in any way we can."

"Thanks."

I went back to the living room and let Dad and Mr. Winston know that I had permission, and I left immediately to drive to the Motor Vehicle office in Rutherford. About an hour later, I left with a new license and registration. There had been a minor issue with me not being able to prove I lived with the Landers', but after showing my school ID and parking pass, and having a brief conversation, the clerk had allowed me to use the McKinley information after giving a sworn statement.

When I arrived home, Doctor Morton had been to see Mom and had given her some mild sedatives. Mr. Winston had left and was putting his plan into action. Dad checked on Mom, and then the two of us went down to his workshop.

"Your mom is distraught. She blames herself for this."

"I think there's plenty of blame to go around," I said. "As I said when I apologized, Angie explained why Mom would think the way she did. I should never have said what I did, but I don't know what else I could have done to shock Liz into accepting help. In hindsight, not the smartest thing to do."

"We each did what we thought was best and still ended up with a terrible result. Life is like that at times. Now, we need to figure out, as a family, how to fix this. I was happy with your response, Mike. Sad with the results, but you showed me your maturity and the calm, cool, collectedness I'm used to seeing from both you and your mom."

"You didn't see me blow up at her," I said.