Chapter 48: Flirting With Disaster

November 14, 1981, McKinley, Ohio

Jeannette laughed, "You do realize you just invited me to bed without even having kissed me?"

"I guess I did, didn't I?" I chuckled. "And I just had this weird thought. I wonder if that's happened before?"

"Asking before a kiss? I'm sure it has. Or do you mean doing it without kissing first?"

"Doing it. I guess that would be kind of strange."

"It would be," she smirked. "I'm game if you are!"

I WAS game, but something was nagging me. Badly. A question that had been swirling around in my mind but which had never fully formed. It did now. And screamed at me: WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD ANGIE 'PARK' ME WITH SOMEONE? And the answer was equally clear: she wouldn't. She wasn't thinking straight, and if I went through with this, I'd be tossing away everything with Angie. I was sure of it.

"Why would Angie agree to this?" I asked. "It makes ZERO sense."

"What?! She said she'd be OK with it!"

"She did say that, but I don't think she'd REALLY be OK with it. If we do this, I think I'd lose her forever. I don't want to do that."

"Whipped," Jeannette sighed. "And not even by pussy. Not even by the realistic chance of pussy anytime soon."

"If you weren't her friend, things might be different. As much as I want to, we can't. I think she'd freak out, and you would lose a friend. For what? Occasional sex?"

Jeannette sighed, "I really hate to admit it, but you're probably right. I just took her at her word. That was probably a mistake."

"And I made the same one. And we were about to make a big one. A really big one."

"Is it?" Jeannette teased.

"I never compared myself with any other guys. And no, I'm not offering to show you!"

"Bummer!" she laughed. "But I guess you can't."

"No, I can't. If you want to hang out and listen to music, we can."

"Nah, I think I'll just head to bed. I'm not angry, Mike. Just confused. But not confused. Does that make sense?"

"I think Angie is seriously confused, and that's the source of OUR confusion. I don't want to mess things up with her. Maybe she doesn't get her act together, and we can revisit this conversation."

"I'd like that!" Jeannette said. "I bet you'd be a lot of fun."

"And you would as well!"

She kissed my cheek and left the room. I did my usual bedtime routine, set my alarm, then got into bed and fell asleep.

November 15, 1981, McKinley, Ohio

"I'm perfectly OK," Angie said.

"Good morning," I replied.

"Sorry; good morning."

"And perfectly OK about what? Jeannette and I are just going to be friends, nothing more."

"Wait?! What?!"

"You heard me. She's one of your two closest friends here. I'm not going to mess things up with you by going to bed with her."

"But..."

"But nothing," I said gently. "I'll wait to see how things turn out with your counseling. Then we'll decide what to do."

"OK," she replied, obviously still puzzled.

The elevator doors opened, and we got in. I pressed 'L' and the doors closed again.

"Do you want to do anything special this afternoon?" I asked.

"Just hang out, if that's OK."

"Sure. Just you and me? Or with the gang?"

"Just you and me. We can study and listen to music," Angie said.

The elevator opened on the ground floor, and we walked out to my car for the drive to church. As it always did, the Divine Liturgy refreshed me and re-energized me, though I didn't receive the Eucharist, instead simply requesting a blessing. After the service, we joined the rest of the congregation for coffee and bagels, then returned to the dorm, where, after we changed, Angie joined me in my room.

"Want to hear anything in particular?" I asked.

"How about Time by ELO?"

I put the album on, and then we sat side-by-side on the couch with our books. We studied for a couple of hours and listened to Abacab by Genesis and Private Eyes by Hall & Oates. We closed the books after the third album.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Let's go find the gang and go play pool in the student center until dinner."

"You're on!"

November 20, 1981, McKinley, Ohio

"Did you have a good counseling session?" I asked as I walked Angie to her mom's car on Friday evening.

"I did. It was funny; she's talking about when I was four, and Dad told me about signaling the stork."

I now had a sneaking suspicion of what the problem might be. It was somehow related to seeing her parents having sex when she was four. I wondered how much she had actually seen and realized that even at eighteen, knowing what I did about sex, seeing my parents doing that would be traumatic. I couldn't imagine what a four-year-old might think.

"Just be honest with her, and hopefully, she'll help you figure this out."

"Can I tell you something without you getting upset?"

"Sure."

"I was really surprised you and Jeannette didn't sleep together."

"What are my priorities?" I asked.

"Grades. Graduation. A great MCAT score. Getting into medical school."

"Is getting laid in that list ANYWHERE?"

"No. But you like it, right?"

"Yes, of course! But I'm not going to let that get in the way of my goals. Remember what I told you about waiting for you?"

"Yes."

"Well, even if you think I should, I'm certainly not going to mess around with your friends."

We reached her mom's car, and I put her bag in the back seat. She introduced me to her mom, who was also a redhead with green eyes but a couple of inches taller. Angie and I exchanged a chaste hug, then she got into the car. When they drove off, I went back inside to sit with Marie, who was the only one of my friends except Clark left around. The dorm had emptied like Riverfront Stadium after a Reds game.

"Where's Clark?" I asked.

"Some cute black girl showed up, and he disappeared!" Marie laughed.

"Another one of his harem!" I said, shaking my head.

"What time do you have to leave for your date?"

"Just before 8:00pm."

"How about some music until then?"

"Sure. What are you doing about dinner?"

"I ate a big lunch," Marie replied. "I'll just go get a slice of pizza when you leave."

"What do you want to hear?"

"How about Dare? I think you bought that one."

"I did," I replied.

"And I know you have Freeze Frame by J. Geils. So that one next."

We went into my room, and I put on the Human League album. It was an odd album in that what I considered the two best songs were the last two songs on the B-side — Love Action (I Believe in Love) and Don't You Want Me. Once I heard the first phrase of The Things That Dreams Are Made Of, I adjusted the volume and went to sit on the couch with Marie.

"What time are you leaving in the morning?" I asked.

"About 9:30am. Mom and Dad had some sort of event for his work, so they couldn't pick me up tonight. It kind of sucks because almost everyone else is gone."

"I'd have gone home tonight, except I have to work tomorrow."

"What are you doing for Christmas break?"

"I'm staying until the 19th. I'm taking the hours I used to have on Tuesdays and Thursdays from the student who took them but is going home and covering some hours on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I'll go home after work on the 19th. I'll come back on the 28th so I can work some more. All those hours earn me a couple of hundred extra bucks towards spending money."

"The dorms close. Where are you staying?"

"At Nancy's. Her mom invited me once she heard from Nancy that I wanted those extra hours."

"Interesting. You're seeing Nancy? I mean, pretty seriously?"

"Yeah. She knows about Angie, and Angie knows about her. You know the score with Angie."

Marie laughed, "Yeah, more like 'no score' is right!"

"Marie," I sighed. "Please, no teasing about Angie."

"Jeez, Mike! Lighten up! Learn to joke and tease! You're too damned serious most of the time."

"It could really hurt Angie. And you know I'm not into joking and teasing as much as you and Jeannette."

"Well, I strongly suspect that beneath that conservative, mostly stoic exterior is a serious stud."

"Based on what evidence?" I asked.

"Call it intuition. We do have two hours to kill if you want to let me do some personal research!"

I sighed, "Is there something in the water here?"

"What?"

"Sorry; I spent four years in High School trying, and failing, to get laid. I graduate, and all of a sudden, I'm overwhelmed with girls who want to have sex with me. I don't get it. Nothing changed!"

"The girls changed," Marie said. "You seem to have come from a really conservative area. I suspect most dads had shotguns and were willing to use them. And you went to church regularly, and I bet most other people did, too. Now we're all in college, and you're encountering something more akin to what I had in my High School or Jeannette had in hers. Add in the fact you're living in a building with a couple of hundred single girls, most of whom are away from home for the first time. And guess what? We're mostly interested in the same things boys are, just with some different perspectives."

"I guess I hadn't thought of it that way. But so many girls?"

Marie laughed, "So many? Two. Me and Jeannette. Out of what, three hundred? Your roomie has WAY more girls interested in him. Sure, you have Nancy and your girl from back home, but I'm just talking about here at school. I'm sure there are explanations for those other two that make perfect sense."

I nodded, "Emmy is my little sister's best friend. Nancy, I met at work."

"Emmy is simple — there is no easier guaranteed fuck on the planet than your little sister's friends who have crushes on you. My best guy friend, when I was a Senior, had all seven of his little sister's friends. Seven Sophomores! In one year! And all virgins!"

I laughed, "In my dreams!"

"In most guys' dreams! But he figured it out and just went for it. And so did they. They were so hot for him they offered up their cherries with no questions asked! I bet you anything Emmy was like that."

"Perhaps," I grinned.

"And Nancy is easy to explain, too, or at least I think so. She's in High School. A college guy is paying attention to her. I know from personal experience about that one! My first time was with my next-door neighbor, who was a Junior in college. He said 'Hi' to me, talked to me, and well, he ended up fucking my brains out all Summer. She maybe has other reasons, but it's a big deal when you're in High School, and a college guy is interested."

"I could see that," I said.

"So then, you come here. Angie is interested in you, but not for sex. She wants a husband. Well, eventually. And obviously, sex is part of that at some point, either before or after."

"Either?" I chuckled.

Marie laughed, "See, you DO have a sense of humor! One of my best friends in High School was Jewish. She always told the joke that goes like this: 'Do you know how to get a Jewish American Princess to stop fucking you?' 'Marry her!'"

I laughed hard, "Cute."

"So, anyway, Angie is prospecting for a mate. She found you, and if she gets her head out of her butt about sex, you might be just what she's looking for."

"Do you know anything about her hang-up?"

"Not really. Just that she's absolutely scared to death about it. You really freaked her out with that French kiss."

"I know," I sighed. "That was a mistake."

"Maybe in that sense, but not completely. It made Jeannette so hot she couldn't stand it! We teased you before, but it wasn't really anything serious. Then you kissed Angie with the vanilla shake in her mouth, and suddenly, our perspectives changed. We both thought you'd be a really cold fish, but then that kiss? Damn! Neither of us was a virgin, and neither of us was looking for anything remotely like marriage. But sex? Sure. Why not? It's fun. It feels good. And you sure seemed like you would be a lot of fun. But Angie had you.

"Then, the whole thing sort of blew up because she was so freaked about that French kiss. She actually asked Jeannette if she'd be interested in you if she broke up with you. I was pretty jealous because I was interested, too; not like Angie, but like Jeannette. You have this mental block, I guess, that says girls shouldn't be interested in you, then you sort of freak out when they are.

"But it's not like you think it is. In your mind, every woman on the planet wants to have sex with you. I'm sure SOME guy somewhere has that situation, but it sure isn't you! Maybe I don't know the whole story, but two girls on a campus with what, 2,500 girls? What is that? .08%, I think. Hardly every girl on the planet! Even if I assume there was another girl besides that girl you've known for like forever, that's not exactly a harem!

"And that girl you've known forever? Well, I've seen that, too. My best friend had a guy she'd known since they were babies. When they turned fifteen, they fucked each other silly for a couple of months, then went back to being close friends and dating other people. They didn't like being a couple as much as they liked being friends, even WITH the sex. So you're not as special as you think!"

She had a big smile on her face that indicated she was teasing.

"I wasn't thinking I'm special," I chuckled, "just that this is all new to me. I understand your point about how few girls it actually is, but it SEEMS like more to me because of High School."

"Let me try a slightly different way. You made a point about it not being a priority. I bet that's true. Not asking how many times you did it each time, but how many times have you been with a girl that way?"

"Four."

Marie laughed, "Oh my God! Seriously? Three girls? Four times? What the hell? Do you NEVER screw?"

I didn't take her response as I had Carol's. I knew Marie was laughing because she was both surprised and amused. And it was part of a conversation, not just an immediate response. I had to ask myself if I wanted to get even deeper into this discussion with Marie. She was explaining things to me, and despite my predisposition to try to keep the information 'close,' I hadn't really managed to do that, mostly due to circumstances beyond my control. If I shared with Marie, maybe I could figure out a way to settle things in my mind.

"There were some special circumstances," I said. "You know about Jocelyn's accident. That was not long after we were together. Then there was Emmy, but we waited until she turned sixteen, which was after school started. Then there was another girl who wanted, well, to say 'goodbye' properly. Then Emmy again. That's it."

"And in between? You were just like, 'OK, no sex. Cool.'?"

"More or less, I guess. It just wasn't a priority, as I said."

"Not to be rude, but don't you have urges? I mean, you're a guy!"

I chuckled, "Who is planning to be a doctor. Are you asking if I masturbate? Of course! And given my priorities, it's WAY less complicated."

"Now that is just sad," Marie said. "Wait! That didn't come out quite right. I guess in High School, when you couldn't get laid, it made sense. But here? Why use your hand when there are a couple of girls who will gladly help you with that problem?"

"I was dating Angie," I replied. "Which limited my options. That was my choice, of course."

"That makes sense, but you weren't steady."

"No, we weren't, but the two girls who seemed interested in me were her friends. I couldn't do that to her."

"Because you're a really nice guy. Which is one of the things that makes you attractive. But I guess, from all evidence, you turned Jeannette down."

"Priorities."

"I think you need to reevaluate. You can have all that stuff AND have sex! Heck, just a warm body to sleep next to is nice. I didn't get much chance to do that in High School 'cause it's kind of hard to explain that to your parents!"

"Maybe. But I also have to think about Angie."

"You guys aren't steady?" she smirked. "Two hours to kill?"

"Why not one of the guys you've been on dates with? They seem nice enough."

"None of them turn me on. You do."

"Seriously? A conservative, nerdy, somewhat shy, introverted, Russian Orthodox kid from a small town?"