Chapter 26: Confrontation

September 6, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio

"Mike!" Emmy squealed, launching herself into my arms when she opened the door.

"Missed me?" I asked as I carefully spun around with her.

"Yes! Let's go! I'm STARVED!"

I put her down, and we walked to my car for the drive to Marie's Diner.

"How was your first week of school?" I asked.

"Nothing changes. I mean, sure, I'm a Sophomore now, but otherwise, it's all the same. How about you?"

"It's a huge change, especially the amount of homework. I used to do my homework mostly during study hall. Now I have a study group that meets for five hours four or five nights a week, and that probably won't be enough time."

"Whoa!"

"I barely have enough time for everything because of work, so I had to drop karate at least for my Freshman year. I just don't have the time."

"Bummer. How's Jocelyn?"

"If all goes well, she'll be home on Wednesday, which means I'll be coming here to see her on the weekends."

"Ooh! Can you see me, too?"

"Yes. I'll most likely drive home on Saturdays after work, then drive back to McKinley the next morning, probably after church, because I don't have to be to work until 2:00pm."

"Awesome!" she said excitedly.

"How's Liz?"

"Bad," Emmy said, suddenly deflating. "She hangs out with Abby at school even though your mom said she's not supposed to. And she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore."

I sighed, "I'm not surprised, really."

"At lunch, they hang out with the burnouts. I think she's doing drugs. And the rumor is she puts out for it."

"It's only a week into school!" I protested. "How could she get THAT reputation already?"

"I think from whoever was selling her the dope after your parents found out about Paul. Or, she was trading for, if you know what I mean."

"I do," I sighed. "I have to try to talk to her."

"Good luck. She won't talk to me."

"OK. Let's talk about something else, please."

"How about that in thirty-seven days, we're going to make love?" she asked, putting her hand on my leg.

"Do you have it marked on your calendar?"

Emmy giggled, "Of course! But not in a way anyone could figure out! It just says, 'date with Mike'! I talked to my cousin, and she's cool with us using her apartment! We can even use a bed!"

"And you can wait that long?" I teased.

"Mike, if you want to take me to Jackson Lake right now, we can do it. Everything. Whatever you want. But I don't want you to get in trouble. I can wait. Honest."

"I think a bed is a better choice, at least for the first time."

"It would be cool to make love under the stars at the lake!"

"It's going to be awfully cold to do that soon!" I chuckled.

"True. Hopefully, Mom will let me come to McKinley sometimes. Are you allowed girls in your room?"

"Yes, though no overnight guests and girls have to be off the guys' side of the floor by midnight and vice versa."

"Mom wouldn't let me spend the night, anyway. She'd be afraid something would happen."

"Your mom does know that you can have sex while it's light out and in places other than a bed, right?"

Emmy laughed, "I'm not sure. If she doesn't, I sure don't want to tell her!"

"Good plan!"

Emmy and I had a nice dinner and an even nicer make-out session with lots of touching. I was tempted to just forget she hadn't turned sixteen and do it, but all I could see was Phil Kessel coming to arrest me because her dad found out somehow and filed a police complaint. That was enough to keep me on the correct side of the line. For the moment, anyway. I dropped Emmy at home and told her I'd be at her house at 1:00pm for the Labor Day cookout, then headed home, full of dread for what I would find.

"Hi, Mike," Mom said when I walked into the house just before midnight.

"Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad."

"How are you, Son?" my dad asked.

"Good. The first week is just about getting settled, but it's going to be a lot tougher than High School."

"Homework?"

"At least twenty hours a week because of two labs. It's going to be like that for a long time. I have at least two labs a semester until I finish my Sophomore year."

"Hang in there, Mike."

"I am. I just have to be disciplined."

"Have you been going to church?" Mom asked.

"Yes. I can't go on Wednesdays because of our study group, and Saturdays are out because of seeing Jocelyn. She's supposed to come home this week, which means I'll be home most Saturday nights and Sunday mornings for a while. I'll come to see her, and that means I can see Emmy and go to church here. I just have to be back for work on Sunday. But forget all that, how is Liz?"

"Let's go talk outside," my mom said.

I followed her through the kitchen, where she got two cups and the teapot, which she brought out to the porch with us. She poured tea into the cups and sat down.

"It's not good," Mom sighed. "She's totally cut us off. And Emmy, too, it appears."

"That's what Emmy said. She said Liz is hanging out with Abby at school."

"I was afraid of that. I'm pretty sure she's using drugs regularly."

"I think so, too. Mom, Emmy is afraid Liz is trading sex for drugs."

"I guess I'm not surprised by that revelation."

"Jocelyn thinks I need to confront Liz."

"Maybe. Mike, I brought you out here to tell you what your father and I agreed earlier today on what we should do about Liz. She needs to be checked into a clinic."

I sighed deeply, "I guess it's my turn not to be surprised. She's going to throw an absolute, raging fit."

"We know. I have an appointment with a drug rehabilitation counselor in Rutherford on Tuesday. Most likely, your sister will have to go to Cincinnati or Columbus. There isn't an inpatient clinic at the hospital in Rutherford."

"What about McKinley?" I asked. "I could see her."

Mom shook her head, "It doesn't work like that. She won't be able to have any visitors or any outside contact, at least at first."

"You're talking about committing her," I said.

"Do you think we have a choice, Mike? Where does this end if we don't?"

"No place good," I sighed. "I'm not naïve enough to think I can simply talk her out of it."

"Something awful happened to your little sister, and until it's dealt with by professionals, she has no real hope of recovery."

"Is it OK if I talk to her?"

"At this point, I don't see what it could hurt. But Mike, be aware, she may lash out at you."

I nodded, "I know. She already did. I doubt she could shock me more than she already has."

"You won't tell me what she said?"

I shook my head, "I really prefer not to."

"Mike, at this point, what would it hurt?"

I considered what she said and wondered about that. In the end, I thought it would hurt ALL of us in ways none of us could fathom, and if someone was going to suffer with the secret knowledge, it was going to be me. I'd tell her counselor, as I'd promised, but I simply couldn't bring myself to say it out loud to my mom or dad.

"I can't. I promised to tell her counselor, and I'll do that. Please let it be."

Mom looked hard at me in the dim light but then nodded grimly.

"OK. I can't give you any advice for talking to her except to say make sure you have your guard up. And remember, it's the abuse and drugs talking, not Liz."

"Should I mention counseling?"

"She's going to lose it when we tell her. I guess, well, use your judgment. Maybe hearing it from you will help. Maybe not. Are you sure you're up for this? It's a lot for an eighteen-year-old to handle."

"And a fifteen-year-old?" I sighed.

"I know. Just be careful, Mike."

"I will. I plan to go see Tasha tomorrow morning, then I'm going to Emmy's for a cookout. I'll stop home before I head back to McKinley. Expect me next Saturday afternoon or evening."

"Will you want dinner?"

"No. I don't know how Jocelyn is going to feel or what she'll want me to do yet. And I'll see Emmy, too."

"An interesting balancing act!"

"Jocelyn was pretty clear before the accident that I was supposed to date but not get too serious with anyone while she was at Purdue. She told me yesterday not to change things. She was concerned I'd lock myself in my dorm room and do nothing but work and study and pine for her."

"She was right, you know? You would have. Did you even think about how much of your limited free time you're going to give up to come see her? Basically, all of it."

I nodded, "I know. But you know how I've felt about her for years. I do not want to blow it, Mom!"

"May I give you one piece of advice?"

"Sure."

"'The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.'"

I shouldn't have been drinking tea because I spit it out all over the patio. Fortunately, I missed my mom!

"Star Wars?" I spluttered. "When did YOU become a science fiction fan?"

"Your dad took me to that movie four times! And that was in addition to the five times you two saw it together!"

"I never knew," I chuckled.

"Call it a guilty pleasure, I guess. But do you understand my point?"

"I'm trying too hard, and I could mess up by doing so. That's not quite what Princess Leia was saying, but I get it."

"Let it grow naturally, Mike. Don't try to force it."

"Yes, Mom," I said flatly.

"Stop it!" she laughed. "You did that when you were ten and didn't like my advice."

"I know. And I do understand what you're saying. It's difficult."

"Of course it is! Anything worthwhile is difficult. Do what Jocelyn told you to do. Date. Let things develop naturally between the two of you. I think you'll be MUCH happier than if you try to force it."

"I'll try. Is Liz up?"

"I have no idea."

"OK. I'm going to see if she'll talk to me."

"Good luck, Mike. And don't take any abuse she hurls at you personally."

"I won't."

I got up, kissed my mom on the cheek, and went into the house. I had thought about this conversation from the time I left McKinley and still wasn't totally sure if I should do what I'd decided to do at the end of the drive. I felt Jocelyn's advice was probably good and planned to follow it, but I was very concerned. I steeled myself for verbal abuse from Liz and walked up the stairs. I ran my fingernails over the door twice and waited. The door opened.

"Came to your senses?" she asked.

"About?" I asked, knowing full well what she meant but not wanting to say it.

"Fucking. You finally decided you wanted it, and you aren't afraid of me?"

Here was where Jocelyn's advice truly scared me. Could I say what needed to be said to shock Liz? I took a deep breath and said something completely out of character.

"If that's what it will take to get you back to normal, I'll do it. Strip and get in bed. I'll fuck you good, and then we can get on with life."

"What?!" she gasped.

"You heard me. Get out of that robe and whatever is under it, get in bed, and I'll fuck you into next week!"

"Mikey?" she said softly.

"What? Suddenly, the shoe is on the other foot? Your bluff was called? Is that it? Well, put up or shut up!"

I pushed past her and unbuttoned the buttons on my polo, and made to take it off.

"Mikey, stop!" she whispered as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" I asked. "For me to come to your room and have sex? You called me a coward! You said I always run away. No more. Get in bed! We're going to fuck!"

"Don't," she whispered.

I shrugged, "All talk, no action! Fine. Have it your way."

I pushed past her and went across the hall to my room. I shut the door behind me and instantly collapsed back against it and slid to the floor, my knees having turned to Jell-O and my stomach doing backflips and threatening to send back the burger, fries, and milkshake I'd eaten at Marie's. I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to stop shaking, but I couldn't. Tears began streaming down my face, and I began sobbing. About two minutes later, there was a knock at the door.

"Mike, it's Mom."

I half-rolled, half-scooted out of the way, and called for her to come in.

"Mike? What's wrong?"

I shook my head. I couldn't talk just yet.

"Your sister just tore out of the house like she was being chased by a demon. Your father went after her. Can you tell me what happened?"

I shook my head again, rocking slowly while holding my knees tightly to me and sobbing. Mom sat down on the floor of my room and put her arm around me. We sat for about five minutes before I could even begin to talk.

"I need a tissue," I croaked.

Mom got up, got the box from my desk, and handed it to me. I actually needed four before I had all the snot out of my nose and my eyes and cheeks reasonably dry.

"What happened?"

"I called her on what she said to me before, then I walked out and came back here and just collapsed, shaking and crying."

"Adrenaline," Mom said. "It'll do that. I guess right after you came in here, your sister came tearing down the stairs. We called to her, but she ignored us and ran out the front door and down the driveway. What the heck did you say?"

I shook my head, "I can't say. But I think I made my point."

"Mike, you can't keep this from me. Tell me."

"I can't," I sighed. "Please don't make me. Please."

"Rachel?" I heard my dad say. "I have her. She's completely lost it. She's in her bed crying hysterically."

"Mike's not in much better shape."

"Should we call for an ambulance for Liz?" he asked.

"Let's wait a bit," Mom said. "But either way, we're going to call the clinic in Columbus first thing and see if we can check her in tomorrow. We both have the day off."

"Mike, are you OK?" Dad asked.

I shook my head, "No. Not even close. I just need to sleep, I think. Suddenly, I have no energy."

"It's the adrenaline wearing off, Peter," my mom said to my dad. "Whatever happened, they both got extremely emotional."

"What did you do, Mike?" Dad asked.

"Called her on something she said to me the other day. She was pretty extreme, and I was even more extreme. I'm sorry."

"Maybe it'll do some good," he replied. "Nothing else we've done has changed things for the better."

"It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better," my mom said with a deep sigh.

"I hate to say it, but I think you're right. Mike, go on to bed. We'll take care of your sister."

I nodded and got up from the floor. I blew my nose again, then went to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. Given the sheer insanity of what I'd done, I put on full pyjamas for the first time in years, crawled into bed, and crashed hard.

September 7, 1981, West Monroe, Ohio

I slowly came awake and looked at the clock radio next to the bed. 3:43am.

"Mikey?"

I saw a shadowy form sitting in the corner next to my desk.

"Liz? What are you doing here?"

"You scared me, Mikey!" she whispered. "Did you really mean it?"

"No, of course not!" I replied, keeping my voice low. "But you obviously didn't mean it, either!"

"You knew?"

"I wasn't completely sure, but I was sure enough. You were trying to upset me. You did. But then I did the wrong thing. I should have called you on it then. That's what you wanted."

"Huh?"

"Forget it. Don't worry about that now. How are you?"

"Not good. Can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"I need to tell you something, but you have to swear, cross your heart and hope to die swear, to never, ever tell anyone. Promise?"

I considered. Making that promise could put me in a really bad situation with Mom and Dad, might interfere with Liz getting help, and might even be something that needed to involve the police. I wasn't sure I could keep that promise. I knew the plans Mom and Dad were making, and maybe I could leverage that to ensure I wasn't harming her with my promise.

"I have a condition, Liz. An important one. And you have to agree to it first."

"What?"

I got out of bed, went over to where Liz was sitting, and sat down. I put my arm around her shoulder.

"Mom and Dad think you need to check into a clinic, and I agree. You need to get off the drugs, whatever they are."

"Coke, speed, and pot," she whispered.

My first thought was to tell her how incredibly stupid that was, but this wasn't the time for that.