Chapter 10: Liz’s Story

June 8, 1981, West Monroe and Rutherford, Ohio

"This entire conversation is going to be 'too much information', isn't it?" I said when Liz and I left the house on Monday evening.

"Probably. Is there anything you don't want to hear?"

"Anything at all about my little sister's sex life!" I laughed. "But I guess you want to talk."

"'Cause you won't judge me, Mikey. You'll listen and give me good advice."

I pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Rutherford. The Rutherford Free Clinic was across the street from the regional hospital, and they would do a complete set of VD tests. Jocelyn and I had taken her cousin Julie there when Julie had thought she was pregnant. It had turned out that she wasn't, but the clinic had insisted on a complete set of VD tests before sending her to her gynecologist to find out why her periods had stopped.

"I will," I agreed, "but I do reserve the right to tell you exactly what I think once I hear the whole story. I promise you, I won't pull any punches."

"I know, but it can't be as bad as Mom was."

"Mom doesn't know any details, right?"

"No. Just that I've been having sex since January."

"Start at the beginning. How did you meet him?"

"At the pool last Summer. You know Emmy and I like to talk to older guys? Well, two Summers ago was the first time we started wearing those bikinis. And Mike, I did catch you checking out Emmy last Summer!"

"I'm a guy!" I chuckled. "We tend to notice when female flesh is on display!"

"Well, we attracted lots of attention, which I'm sure you realized."

"Yes. When we were there a couple of weeks ago, you were talking with some college guys. Well, I thought college guys. Was that him?"

"No. Those were two guys from Rutherford who go to Ohio State."

"And you like the attention from older guys?"

"Sure. They aren't ignorant like High School boys!"

"Gee, thanks," I chuckled.

"Mikey, be honest. You know stuff from health class and books, but how much do you really know?"

"Not much," I sighed.

"So..." she giggled.

"I get it. Experience makes a difference. So, back to meeting the guy."

"Last Summer, when Emmy was on vacation with her family, I was at the pool alone. Mom had dropped me off because you were somewhere with Dale. I don't remember what you were doing, but it's not important. Anyway, this total hunk sat down in a deck chair next to me and started talking to me. He seemed really nice, and I, uh, got tingly and, er, uhm, uh, wet."

"And we're fully into 'too much information' territory already," I sighed. "I won't comment about that again. Just tell your story, please."

"It was really weird because that had never happened except when I had a really good make-out session with Freddy Kramer."

"Freddy Kramer? He's the one who gave you pot, isn't he?"

"Yeah. But I dumped him right after I turned fourteen when he tried to get me to do cocaine."

"Maybe HE'S the one I should go after with my gun! He was what, sixteen then?"

"Yeah. But his brother and his brother's college friends did coke, and Freddy tried it. Anyway, we'd done a lot, you know, kissing and stuff, and I let him, er, put his hand in my bikini bottoms a few times. That's what I'm talking about feeling like. I probably would have done it with Freddy, but I dumped him because of the drugs before it got quite that far."

"Quite?" I asked apprehensively.

"I, uhm, used my hand, you know?"

Something dawned on me.

"I do know. And that's about the time you stopped hugging me. Because you and Freddy were at second base, and you thought it might go further."

"Yeah. I kind of felt like you would somehow know. You've always known me pretty well. You figured out I did pot."

"The smell was obvious," I said. "I may be a 'goody two-shoes', but even I know what weed smells like!"

"I just thought somehow you'd be able to tell I wasn't a virgin if we hugged or were that close."

"Hmm. I'm not really sure about that. But, go on."

"So, I felt that way without this guy kissing me or touching me. I think he could tell somehow. Nothing else happened that time, but then I ran into him again two weeks later. This time, we were in the pool, and he just lightly touched my hip and stomach, and I wanted him, you know. I found out where he worked so I could talk to him, and when he left, I kissed his cheek. That was August. I didn't see him again until right around Halloween when I could get to the place he worked without Mom or Dad knowing."

"When did you find out how old he was?"

"That last time at the pool. He asked me how old I was and told me how old he was."

"So he knew you were fourteen," I said, shaking my head. "Sorry. Halloween..."

"That was when Emmy started covering for me. I saw him three or four times before Christmas. But nothing happened except I'd kiss his cheek. He bought me a nice Christmas present, but obviously I couldn't let anyone know. That was the first time we kissed. I almost died, it felt so good. He whispered in my ear he wanted me, and I just nodded. We made a date for the Friday after New Year's. Emmy covered for me by agreeing to go ice skating at Grant Park. She had another friend meet her there, so she wasn't alone.

"I met him in the parking lot, and when he asked what I wanted to do, I told him I just wanted to be alone with him. It was strange, Mikey. It was like I would die if I didn't have him inside me right away. He drove us to his house, and as soon as we got inside, we were making out furiously. Five minutes later, he had my clothes off and carried me to his bed. He took off his clothes and kissed me, you know, like all over, including there. Then he got on top of me, and I begged him to do it. He just pushed in, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but then, oh my God, Mikey!"

My head was spinning a bit, and my stomach turning because I was seeing my sister as a sexual creature, and that made me decidedly uncomfortable. But she obviously needed to tell me these things, even if I didn't really want to hear them. A few deep breaths let me keep control of my emotions.

"And from then on?" I asked carefully.

"At least once a week, sometimes twice. After that, it was mostly at a motel, but a couple of times in the bed at his house."

That gave me the opening to ask a leading question without it seeming like I already knew what I wanted her to admit.

"Motel? Not his house? Why?"

She was silent and looked out the passenger window. I knew she'd tell me, but she had to gather her courage before she did so. I waited, and it was about five minutes before she spoke again.

"How much do you love me, Mikey?"

"A lot. You know that. Why?"

"Because," she started, but then there was a hitch in her breath, and she spoke very quietly, "after we did it that first time? I saw a crib in another room. And pictures of his wife and son."

I blew out a deep breath, trying to appear to be surprised. I didn't want to cause trouble between Emmy and Liz because Liz was going to need Emmy as a good friend.

"Jeez, Liz! A married guy with a kid? A guy who is ten years older than you are?"

"Don't hate me, Mikey! Please!"

"I don't hate you, but why on earth keep seeing him when you knew he had a wife and son?"

"Because he made me feel good and treated me really nice. You can't even begin to imagine how good it feels."

"Does he know you can't see him anymore?"

"No. I have to find a way to let him know. I'd ask you, but..."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "Ready for the lecture?"

"Get it over with," she sighed.

"How dumb can you be, Lizzy? If he was eighteen, I'd say, OK, High School could explain it. But this guy is out of college, if he went, and working! And he's married. And has a kid! He was CHEATING on his wife, and YOU were helping him cheat! I'm not sure which of those is the worse problem — the age difference or him being married. Actually, no, I can sort of understand you going for an older guy, sort of. But what the HELL is a guy his age doing going for a girl who was fourteen? Damn it, Liz! How could you?"

I took a deep breath and blew it out. Liz was crying, but I had expected that would happen. I needed to get it all off my chest at once so we could figure out what to do going forward.

"As for the guy, I swear to God I should call the cops. Or tell Mom and Dad and have THEM call the cops! Or just shoot him myself. The problem with any of those options is that they could really hurt an innocent little boy. But his wife needs to know. And he needs to be called on the carpet for his behavior. Seriously!"

I took a deep breath and let it out before continuing, "OK. I'm done ranting. Let's figure out what to do next."

"Mike, don't tell, please," she begged. "Please!"

"And if he does it again? With another fourteen-year-old girl? Then what? Look, I like to 'live and let live' as much as I can, but there's a huge difference between you being with a Senior in High School or even a Freshman in college and a married twenty-four-year-old with a kid! And that guy should KNOW better! Please don't take this the wrong way, but he's an adult man, and you were just a fourteen-year-old kid!"

"But he didn't take advantage of me! I wanted him to do it. I begged him to do it! I don't regret anything except him being married. Well, and being dumb about saying that where Mom could hear."

I took another deep breath and let it out.

"How much does Mom know?"

"I refused to tell her anything except that I'd had sex a bunch of times starting in January. She tried to get me to tell her who the guy was, but I wouldn't. She kept pushing, and that's when I told her it was none of her fucking business who I was fucking."

"And you only got two months for using the word twice?"

"No, I said 'having sex with'."

"Then why use that word when you're telling me?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I guess I used that word a lot with him when I told him what I wanted him to do."

"What happened to you, Liz?"

"What do you mean?"

"What happened to change you? You're not the girl I thought I knew."

Liz shrugged and looked out the window again, with tears streaming down her face. She sobbed quietly until I pulled into the clinic's parking lot and parked. I opened the glove box, took out a package of tissues, and handed it to her. She blew her nose and dabbed her eyes, and then we got out of the car. Liz grabbed my arm, and we walked inside.

"How may I help you?" a young woman at the desk asked.

Liz was quiet, so I answered, "My little sister needs a VD test."

"Do you have symptoms, Miss?" the woman asked gently.

Liz shook her head.

"You've engaged in risky behavior?"

Liz nodded.

"OK. Let me give you a form to fill out, and then we'll get you in to see a nurse. I'll also give you a description of the tests so you know what the nurse is going to do."

"OK," Liz said.

The woman handed Liz a clipboard with a couple of sheets of paper. Liz and I went to sit in chairs as far away from the other patients as possible. She took the consent form and description and handed them to me.

"Read these and tell me what you think, Mikey. I don't know much about this stuff."

"I'm not a doctor yet," I said.

"No, but I know you read stuff like that so you can be prepared for college and medical school."

She was right about that; I did read books on biology, chemistry, and medicine in addition to my usual science fiction novels.

"OK."

It all seemed reasonable to me. I found it interesting that according to the consent form, you could get VD and pregnancy tests without parental permission once you were thirteen, but you needed either parental or judicial permission to have an abortion before turning sixteen. That was going to be my major dilemma when I got to my third year of medical school. I was opposed to abortion, but could I, as a doctor, refuse treatment to a patient which they were requesting with informed consent? I was glad I had six years to think about that one. I'd need every single day.

That made me wonder what I'd do if Liz had been pregnant. I knew what the Church taught, and I sure knew what my parents believed. But who could decide that except Liz? I sure as heck wouldn't want to be a father at age sixteen. Or age twenty, for that matter. I couldn't imagine how Liz's life would be turned upside down if THAT had happened. Which made me think about my plans. I had to make sure I acquired condoms before anything even had a CHANCE of happening. And that meant right away, because hearing Liz talk about how she felt made me wonder if Emmy might advance her plans.

I read the lists of tests they would perform, and it covered all the stuff I remembered from health class and my outside reading. There was a note that a pregnancy test was mandatory, even if there had been a menstrual period since the last intercourse. I didn't see anything that seemed out of the ordinary to me or that I thought was a problem, but I had no idea what Liz would say about the pelvic exam and swabs.

"Liz," I said quietly. "Look at this."

I pointed to the line about the exam.

"So, like going to my gynecologist?"

"Did she ever do an internal exam?"

Liz shook her head, "No because I was still a virgin at my last appointment. She asked about doing one, and I said 'no'. But I guess I need a PAP smear soon."

"I think so, but I have no idea. They'll do a pregnancy test, too."

"But I know I'm not pregnant."

"It's mandatory. And, there's one more important thing. If you do have a disease, they have to report it to the County Health Department, and you'll have to give his name to them. AND his wife will have to be notified."

"Oh my God!" she gasped.

"It says they can't call the police or anything."

"But..."

"Yeah, his wife will probably flip out. But that can't be helped now. Did you finish your form?"

"Yes. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why do they ask some of these questions? You know, about stuff you've done and how many people you've been with?"

"They're risk factors. Disease can be spread even if you use a rubber for having regular sex."

"So, if I never did some of this stuff and was only with one guy?"

"It's less risk, but you can still get diseases. Remember what they said in health class in eighth grade? That you could get some infections in your mouth or even in your eyes."

Liz sighed, "I should have paid closer attention."

"You used rubbers. Most likely, you're OK. Don't get freaked out."

"Will you come in with me?"

"They're going to do a pelvic exam!" I protested. "No way!"

"You could turn your back or whatever. I need you to hold my hand, Mikey. Please?"

I sighed, "I guess. But how can a girl who did those things," I pointed to the three items on the 'risk factors' list which she had checked, "be so afraid of a medical exam?"

"I don't know," she said, sounding very small.

She didn't know, but I knew. She wasn't emotionally ready for sex. Physically, she certainly was, and she'd claimed to have enjoyed it, which I didn't doubt. But what her body demanded, her emotions couldn't really handle. And that made me think about Emmy and her mental state. There were some differences — Emmy was going to be sixteen, and we had a real relationship. And it would be more than four months if she waited for her sixteenth birthday, as she'd said. I still had to be careful to talk to her about it.

"Go hand in your papers," I said gently. "We'll talk afterwards."

She walked over to the woman at the desk and handed in her papers. About ten minutes later, a nurse came out through a door.

"Elizabeth Loucks?" the nurse said.

"Here," Liz said, standing up.

She grasped my hand and pulled me towards her. I reluctantly stood and followed her.

"You're Elizabeth's boyfriend?" the nurse asked.