Chapter 1

I don’t know what Mom ... that’s Sultry Wench Flintkote ... but ... that might explain it. Sultry Wench, yeah ... that might do it. Anyway, I guess I was a surprise.

John Walter (JW), Cynthia Mae, and I were born on April First, 1977. But not exactly...

Thirty Days hath September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have 31.
Except February,
Which has 28 and sometimes 29.

Cyndimae was first. She was born on March 31st 1977 at precisely 11:45.

JW was born at exactly 12 midnight March 31st/April 1st and therefore was born on both days ... his birth certificate reflects this fact.

I was born April 1st at 12:45.

Twins were predicted.

Triplets were not. I was the Surprise!

According to family legend, Mom said ... quite surprised at me not being the expected afterbirth... “Surprise Me,” And the Nurse who was recording the event for posterity wrote that on my birth certificate. Birth Certificates are State Property and come on a numbered tearoff pad. Now ... it will be admitted ... if the problem were to arrive before the Bench or some other legalistic body ... that the recording nurse had been asking mom what were the chosen names for the first two and the arrival of a third flustered everybody. I mean ... the doctor had had 45 minutes to clean up, change clothes, and drive to the next delivery clear across town ... from UTMC to Methodist ... and well ... Surprise Me was transcribed as Surprise Melody Flintkote.

Woe betide the clumsy or illiterate who screws up a certificate and uses another.

And that made it official.

JW Was born second and ... when school started, Mom was summoned to explain the variables in our birthdates.

Cyndimae was easy ... she had a single birthdate. I had a single birthdate.

It was JW who caused the fuss.

We were smarter than our teachers ... all of them. The superintendent of our local elementary even went so far as to attempt to prescribe medication to shut us up. Since mom had been homeschooling us from birth she saw no reason to discontinue said schooling.

I’ll be the first ... no ... that would be JW ... to admit that our schooling was unorthodox ... and for sure unusual.

When mom got the four of us out of the hospital she began reading to us. Or so we remember ... and remember is part of what we do best. With mothers milk came the earliest histories of Britain, France, and the chivalrous nations ... Matter of Britain, Matter of France, Historia Regum Britanniae, The Death of Arthur, Book of Chivalry, Song of Roland, Cantar de Mio Cid, The Twelve of England, the Knight’s Tale, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Book of the Coutier.

Sitting in our highchairs she fed us pablum and Gerber’s and Physics, Chemistry, Biology. Swordsmanship and Japanese Martial Arts were while we pooped.

Mathematics, spelling, grammar, and gardening, identification of weeds and mushrooms, while learning to walk. We never walked without purpose. We were on the paths and trails of Appalachia from our first steps.