Stuck on Chaos
Copyright© 2018 by Old Man with a Pen
Chapter 3
“My boat,” I sobbed. “The bastards stole my boat!”
“Do you really care?” asked the cook.
“Not really,” I said. “But I had to say something.” I chuckled.
One thing you must understand: A chuckle is NOT a giggle. I can’t stand giggling girls. It reminds me of head table girls at lunch in high school. Stuck up bitches. Got it?
The cook ... her name was Francine ... Fran ... understood the difference.
“Whose Cat?” she asked.
Cats don’t belong to people ... they are NOT dogs. Cats exist to boss people. And I knew that ... worse ... the cat knew it too. But just to keep the argument to a dull roar...”Mine.”
The look I got from the cat was indignant.
“What’s it’s name?”
So I picked him up and she rolled over. He’s have different equipment
“Oh ... sorry,” I said. “Butch won’t fit will it?”
There are purrs ... and then there are purrs. I learned that in school ... but I can’t tell her that.
“I don’t know,” I confessed.
“Don’t know?”
“Cats tend to name themselves,” I said.
“This is true,” said Fran.
“For an example,” I began. “My last cat was called feral cat. Until I realized that every time I called him that, he spoke ... Did you know that cats make or have made more than 990 distinct sounds ... just an aside. Every time I called him ‘Feral,” he replied with a unique sound. ‘Nang.’” He would say ‘Nang’ and butt my hand. It only took him three months before I got the idea. He would come ... like a dog ... ouch!” I looked at the cat. “That’s gonna bleed.”
It did ... almost needed stitches ... but not quite. The kitten proceeded to rid the island of ninety-nine percent of the rodent population. It took Murr-an-da three years, seven or eight boyfriends and twelve batches of kittens but she got it done. Just in case you weren’t paying attention ... three years ... hint-hint-hint.
We called her profific...”Miranda! That’s gonna leave a scar!”
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