s4e10 - Imogen

Series 4, Episode 10: IMOGEN

We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a built-up inner-city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking down at a crowded street market – barrows selling everything from fresh fruit and veg, to handmade jewelry and knock-off designer handbags. Then we’re on the windswept sea-front of an old fashioned English resort town - windy, cold and rainy, virtually deserted...

Then we’re on a busy street in an old English city ... Not a lot of food traffic, but plenty of cars driving by. There’s a car show-room, tattoo shop, supermarket, and finally, a little brick white-walled shop front baring the legend, “ROMFORD FUNERAL SERVICES, Dir. Imogen Harvey.”

Then a familiar figure walking along the pavement toward us. She’s wearing an open neck sweater which shows off her generous and firm cleavage, and a knee-length skirt that’s tight enough to highlight just how slim she’s become through her trunk.

Charley speaks directly to camera as she approaches, “Welcome to the United Kingdom of Zoo. I’m Charley Ozvik, and I’ve spent the last couple of months travelling up and down the country, helping lucky ladies live out their dirtiest fantasies...”

The title, “THE UNITED KINGDOM OF ZOO” flashes up on screen over a graphic showing a map of the UK, with little pins appearing, each pin representing a location we’ve either visited, or will be visiting in this series. Right now, a pin is flashing on the right edge of London.

We fade back to the street directly outside the funeral services shop front. Charley waiting at the door, looking far too sexy, and just a little too happy for the location. “We’re here in Romford, in East London, to meet a lady who’s had enough of sad faces and crying strangers, and wants to have some fun...” She turns and pushes her way into the shop, beckoning us to follow her – which we do...

Inside, dressed soberly in an all black women’s business suit (skirt and jacket), and sensible white blouse (buttoned right up to the collar) – is a demure, classy looking middle-aged lady. Her short, platinum blonde, almost white, hair, is cut short and stylish, and along with her pointed features add an almost punk-rock edgy energy to the serious suit. Little crow’s feat around her eyes are the only real hint that she’s closing in on 50. All in all, she’s not the most attractive woman you’ll ever see, but one way or another, it works - even here among the coffins. She’s not an Elvira or Morticia Addams type, she’s pleasant and quite warm, although her smile looks very practiced rather than natural.

She walks toward us alongside an open casket which contains a recently deceased gentleman. His face is blurred out for the sake of his family’s privacy, but it’s quite clear that he’s a very different kind of stiff than we’re used to!

She speaks in a loud and clear tone, the hint of an Essex accent, she’s not worried about being overheard – her ‘client’ is the only other one here, and he’s not about to complain. “My name is Imogen Harvey, I’m 47, and I’m a funeral director from Romford in Essex.”

She continues speaking as she stands beside the dead body. It’s an unnerving sight – a reasonably attractive woman, talking about sexually explicit matters, next to a corpse ... Even with his face blurred out we can’t help but look at him instead of the woman. Her delivery is as cold as the corpse.

Charley is next to her, but further away from the coffin. She’s not nearly as comfortable with the dead as our guest. She’s back in interview mode, angling the head of her microphone back and forward between her questions and Imogen’s answers. “Can you tell us why you’re here today... ?” She asks.

“This was my father’s business ... I worked here with him, and took it over when he retired. I’ve been around the dead for as long as I can remember ... I used to play with my dollies in the corner over there when I was a little girl.” Cut to another comment. “The dead don’t answer back. They don’t question. They don’t judge.” Cut to another... “Dead is actually the natural state. You live for 70-80-90 years maybe, then you’re dead for the rest of time. What you do in that 70-80 years is what matters.” Cut to another moment. “No one can judge me. I can do whatever I want.”

“What is it about bestiality that turns you on?”

“It’s just pure, selfish lust ... Both on my part and that of the animal. The thought of something ‘not human’ just fucking me, without any concerns about my happiness ... It just makes me feel sexy. Aroused.”

“How long have you wanted to have sex with a dog?”

Imogen’s face remains almost motionless. “Always. I’ve always been fascinated by bestiality. I’ve always been drawn toward the outlandish and abhorrent. Bestiality, rape, necrophilia...”

Charley is a little taken aback by the last word. “That’s an interesting one considering what you do for a living...”

“Yes, I know...” Answers Imogen. “I’ve never tried it myself, but it does interest me. More the idea of live men having sex with dead women ... I don’t know how I’d do it with a dead male ... I’ve fondled a few. A perk of the job, if you like. But nothing more ... I like something a little more physical ... I like to be fucked, not to do the work myself...” She flashes a smile that has been carefully practised at a thousand funerals – pleasant but meaningless.

“Does anyone else know about your fantasy?”

“You’ll be surprised to hear this – but my father knows about it. We were talking about strange activities years ago, right here. He was actually telling me about the number of funeral directors he knew who had admitted to having sex with corpses ... He thought the funeral profession was like the Catholic Church, an easy place for perverts to hide their perversion ... One thing lead to another and I admitted that I found bestiality to be a bit of a turn-on.”

“And how did he react to that?”

“He said that he had never had sex with a corpse, and I should never have sex with an animal ... But there was nothing wrong with thinking about it ... I assume, from that, that he used to think about having sex with the corpses ... But that’s fair enough – if I had a penis I’m sure I would have tried that by now...” She seems extremely comfortable talking like this.

Charley looks mildly ill, but can’t resist pushing on... “Once he knows you’ve had sex with a dog, do you think he might want to have sex with a corpse?”

Imogen recoils slightly, a little disgusted, but then pausing and thinking for a second... “I hadn’t thought of it, but maybe. Who knows ... I don’t know if he’s even interested ... But if he was, I’m sure he has friends in the business who could help him out on that score ... Not me, of course. I keep a good business.” She winks to camera – it’s the first genuinely warm moment she’s had since we started.

Charley leans in for her final question, “And if today goes well, how will this change your life?”

Imogen remains still for a moment, then speaks up. “I don’t think it will change things much. I won’t be changing my routine. I don’t need a pet, even if it could be my lover ... Perhaps if someone sees me on the show and wants to make their dog available to me, maybe, I might fit them into my schedule ... But probably not ... Unless it’s really amazing ... If it blows my mind, you never know what I might do...”

We cut to the parking spaces to the rear of the building. A white car pulling up and parking and parking next to the black hearses. The driver, a regular on our show, is Steve, a tall black man from London. Steve smiles and waves casually to us as he walks to the rear. “Hi there,” he says in his bright Cockney accent, “I’m Steve, and this...” He opens the rear of the car and a big white ball of fur jumps out and runs around his feet excitedly, “ ... Is Max. Max is a kennel club registered Alaskan Malamute, and he’s VERY popular with the ladies ... I’m keen to see who wants to meet him today!!”

Inside, we’ve moved to the office where Imogen usually meets with the family of her latest ‘clients’. It’s a very comfortable, warm and ‘safe’ room, with soft carpet, a couple of couches and a comfortable leather armchair. No desk. Very informal.

Imogen is standing infront of us, between the two couches, facing camera. “I thought this might be a comfortable place for us to have our fun...” She says without too much of a hint of ‘fun’ in her voice. “I always try to make my customers feel safe and comfortable here – so I’d hope our four legged friend will feel safe and comfortable here as well...”

“And you too, I assume.” Says Charley from off camera.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. Nothing worries me.” Replies Imogen, and we don’t doubt her for a second.

She unbuttons her jacket and removes it, folding it over and placing it on the arm of the couch, then unbuttons her blouse, letting it open to reveal a white lace corset top. Her boobs are sitting at the top of the corset, pushed up and forward – the lingerie certainly doing a fine job of creating cleavage.

“How do you feel right now?” Asks Charley from just off camera.

The blouse comes off and is placed on top of the jacket whilst Imogen considers her answer. “Excited. A little apprehensive, to be honest. But excited...”

“Turned on?” Asks Charley.

Imogen smiles a little as she unzips the skirt at the hip, and allows it to fall around her ankles. The white corset links to white panties, and via white suspenders to a pair of black stockings. She steps out of the skirt and answers as she folds it over once and places it on the arm of the couch next to her blouse and jacket. “Of course ... Who wouldn’t be?”

From bottom to top she’s now in her heels, then those neat black stockings, white panties and white corset. Her body is slim, perhaps a little too skinny for some, flat belly, and a little inviting cleavage as smallish boobs are squeezed out of the top of her lingerie. It’s all very neat and attractive enough for a woman of 47 – but you get the feeling that she’ll not look quite as good as this once she is naked...

We can hear the sound of a dog approaching, but not entering the room. A single excited bark that raises another little smile on Imogen’s face. She looks to Charley, “Can I ask what kind of dog it is?”

“Once you take the rest off I’ll introduce you...” Teases Charley.

Imogen gives her a knowing look, then reaches up and takes hold of the top of the corset, wriggling and pulling it down to free her tits – then unhooks the side of the corset, letting it fall away. As predicted, with her top off things look a little less impressive – the boobs are smaller than they looked in her lingerie, and they sag a little more than you might expect, ribs sticking out a little, a thin belly rather than a flat one, a scar on her abdomen (appendectomy) and very pale flesh, it’s not ugly, but it’s hardly the hottest we’ve seen on the show.

She unclips her suspenders, then pulls her panties down, the gusset sticking to her perfectly smooth, hairless, crotch as she slips them down her thighs. Then re-attaches her suspenders to the tops of her stockings, leaving them and her shoes on.

She puts her hands on her hips and faces up to the camera, a look on her face that says, ‘Now?’ and a shrug of her shoulders.

We cut to a shot of the door as it opens and Max’s black nose appears, followed by his white snout, head, neck and body ... His crazy white fur only matched by his crazy and excited jumped and twisting turning walk as he enters the room. He’s clearly very happy to be with us again.

Charley provides a commentary as he enters and Imogen reacts happily. “This is Max – today will be his sixth appearance on the show, although we haven’t seen him on the regular show since the end of our second series.”

Imogen crouches down to welcome the jumpy beast, trying to give him a hug and offering her face for a ‘kiss’, but he’s too jumpy and rather than lick at her face he does another lap of the room, checking out the cameras and the sound man before rushing to Charley. He obviously recognises his previous conquests!

Charley, between giggles as she pushes Max away and tries to send him back to Imogen. “Max is a seven year old Alaskan Malamute, and I can assure you he packs quite a punch!”

Steve stands over Imogen, who is still crouching, his black hands and clothed body in contrast to her pale nudity ... He crouches beside her, with one hand on her shoulder, and pats her on the inner thigh, trying to attract Max. The dog soon gets the hint – coming over to his master and the woman and having a good sniff at her. “This is your lady, Maxie ... This is your lady...”

Imogen makes a fuss of the dog, her fingers disappearing into his long fur ... Stroking his back, his flanks, and as he twists around, his thighs and, very quickly, letting her hand stroke over his big cum-filled balls. “Hello boy ... Hello there...” She says as she continues to fuss over him.

Charley asks what Imogen thinks of this beast and the naked undertaker responds, with mock consideration, “I suppose he’ll do...” then looks up and cracks a smile to indicate that she’s got no doubts at all.

Charley, “How much are you looking forward to this?

“I can’t wait...” She continues to rub the dog’s back and fondle under his belly. “I really mean that...” She looks up, a serious look in her eyes. “ ... I really can’t wait ... Can we get started?”

We cut to a shot, a moment later, with Imogen on her hands and knees, her little titties hanging down, her thin belly showing its age and sagging a little despite its lack of size. Steve is positioning Max behind her. It’s time for the beast to mount Imogen and she’s more than ready for it – but now he decides it’s time to sniff and lick at her pussy.

Imogen sighs and moans a little as the animal’s long tongue hits her snatch. All over the pussy lips, inside, outside, over the clit, up the arse-crack ... Hungry and feverish licking ... Enough to take her to the edge ... Her breathing speeding up, then – just as she’s about to go over ... He stops, rears up, and mounts her ... Stabbing his hindquarters at her ... Imogen trying to shift her arse into a position that will allow him access.