S15E15 - Agnes McCracken (53), from Kettering

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of high street shops ... Then a mall ... And then more store-fronts ... We’ve been in malls before, we’ll visit them again – ladies work in shops, and ladies love to shop...

The screen fills with a caption that tells us we are in “KETTERING, ENGLAND.”

The caption fades as we come up infront of the store front that dreams, nightmares and (apparently) some fantasies are made of...

“Bugtopia” – a store that highlights, educates, and sells insects ... The window filled with cartoonish images of friendly bugs, with a couple of clear panels displaying large cases of live insects, crawling around over one another, trying to climb the sheer glass sides.

We move to the entrance and look inside ... Again, it’s brightly lit and friendly, but filled with displays of models and graphics of insects, and more cases of live insects ... There aren’t many customers, it’s not a business that gets a lot of foot traffic (ironic as every creature they sell here has at least six of them).

And then, stepping out from the back of the store, walking toward camera, our host...

Long brunette hair falls in ringlets down over her shoulders, the ends brushing the top of her bolt-on tits, which are pushed up and forward inside a tight white PVC jacket. She’s pretty, and we know she’s perverted ... It’s our own Renae Russell. She continues toward us, introducing the show in that high-pitched, squeaky, over-excited tone that’s become as much of a trademark as those fake tits...

“Hello, and welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’, my name’s Renae Russell, and I’m here in Kettering, in the midlands...” She moves infront of a particularly large display case, filled with dozens of slow moving, long-legged cockroaches – we can tell from her expression that she isn’t overly comfortable around them (even with the glass separating her from them). She continues talking, “Whilst most of our guests are turned on by animals with big cocks ... This week’s guest isn’t interested in their cocks at all ... She’s interested in ... This...” She indicates the bugs – her face telling a little internal horror story, “It’s an obsession that even I don’t understand ... But here in ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’, we don’t discriminate against people we don’t understand ... We embrace them...”

We cut across the store and see an attractive looking, pale-skinned middle-aged woman in a smart black blouse and pants combination ... She’s average height, and slim, with a shock of almost certainly bleach-blonde hair cut in a style that looks about 20 years too young for her. She’s definitely rebelling against her age. She’s standing next to a large display of stick-insects, leaning in close to the glass, her face right infront of a large specimen ... Tapping the tank with a thin finger, long nail clicking on the glass, trying to make it move. Lips parting to reveal a large gap between her front teeth, and breathing hard as it moves ... Just watching this giant bug walk is clearly turning her on. And whilst we watch, we hear her introducing herself in voice-over ... Her accent is crisp, confident, and has a distinct Australian twang.

“Hello ... My name is Agnes McCracken – I’m a 53-year-old from Kettering in the East Midlands ... Originally from New South Wales in Australia ... And I love bugs!”

We cut to a shot of Agnes standing across from Renae, with a tank of large centipedes between them. They talk to each other, both casting glances down into the tank. Agnes’s looks are punctuated with heavy breaths, like she’s turned on by what she’s saying and what they are discussing ... Meanwhile, Renae’s downward glances are short, and filled with something like fear, or possibly disgust.

Our host masks her feelings as best she can, enthusiastically asking her guest to, “Tell me a little bit about this ‘love’ for bugs...”

Agnes bubbles, almost over-excited, “It’s strange, I know ... I don’t know what it’s about really ... I grew up in Australia, and I remember playing with bugs when I was a kid ... But never, like ‘this’ ... So I’ve always been more confident with them than most ... But as a sexual thing, the first I knew about it – my first memory, is watching ‘Fear Factor’ and watching when they would make a contestant eat a bug, a live bug ... It, I don’t know, it would disgust most people, but I noticed that I just got excited watching people getting ready – the whole build-up to the first bite ... Watching them pick it up, get ready, build up the courage ... Then the bite, then the chew ... They are pulling faces like they are disgusted ... But I was so turned on by it all...”

“You want to eat bugs? That’s not something we really do here...”

“No ... That was the start of it ... But it was the handling of the bugs that turned me on ... The ‘intimacy’ of it ... I imagined having them inside me, but still alive ... Moving around. In me ... On me ... Walking on my flesh...”

“And why do it on television?” Renae checks.

“It’s simple really ... It’s not something I want to do on my own ... I want professional help – and I didn’t know where else to turn. It’s not something you can put in a classified ad – wanted, someone to stuff my mouth and pussy with live bugs...” She lets out a little laugh, that gap between her teeth on full view, whilst Renae looks ready to vomit. Agnes ignores (or doesn’t notice) the disgust, and adds, “I’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist anyway, so being naked on camera doesn’t bother me at all...”

Renae doesn’t speak, unusually for her, she’s a little lost for words ... Our guest fills the silence by adding, “I have absolutely no idea why it excites me, but bloody hell, just seeing them crawl around in there – makes me tingle all over ... I really can’t wait ... I don’t know if it will get me off ... Or if I’ll want to stop as soon as it becomes real, but the fantasy is so powerful...”

She looks down into the insect tank again, and we pan down to watch that giant stick insect wobbling around on its long legs as it moves along a bit of wood...

Then we cut to a shot of the front of the store as the roller shutter is closed quickly and noisily. The man closing it is clearly in store uniform, but his face is blurred out to protect his identity – management don’t know we’re here.

Then we’re back in the store, watching as Agnes moves around infront of various displays, pointing at different bugs and asking our anonymous staff member, “Can I have a couple of those...” or “Would that be possible?” – we don’t see exactly what she’s looking at in any of these shots, and we don’t hear the staff members replies – but we can see the disgusted look on Renae’s face as she keeps an eye of proceedings ... The last thing we hear is our guest’s reaction to a particular display, “Ooooh myyyy Gaaaahhddd ... I can imagine that walking around on me ... Oooohhh ... That would be soooooo sexy!”

And then we cut to a shot of her standing in the middle of the shop floor, untucking her blouse, then unbuttoning it, letting it open up to show off cleavage held together by a push-up bra. More pale flesh – boobs and belly. Then slipping the top off and throwing it behind her, out of shot.

She pauses to let us take in her body, and smiles again, showing off the gap between her teeth and those sparkly eyes...

Then she’s unhooking and unzipping her pants, the top suddenly easily able to drop down over her hips, revealing black panties that match her bra. She peels the legs of the trousers off her feet without removing her high heeled shoes – and then stands there, stripped to bra and panties and looking good for close-to-sixty. The black underwear gives sharp relief to the white of her flesh and the bleach blonde hair.

She casts a look toward the counter to her side – which is currently covered with boxes of bugs, that careful selection she put together earlier with our anonymous staff-member. She runs her hand over the top of several boxes ... And we hear her whispering, “I can’t wait...” as she thinks about what she’s about to do...

Cut to a shot of her hooking her bra straps off her shoulders, then pulling the cups off her soft tits, and shimmying the bra down off her chest, to her waist, where she can turn it around and unhook it without having to stretch her arms. Without the bra to support them, her breasts are surprisingly perky. Not full or firm, but not overly droopy either.

She idly runs her long nails around her nipples, giving them a little pinch as she continues to study the bugs ... Moving along the line, then turns to our cameras again and declares that, “I’m ready ... I’m sooooo bloody ready!” as she hurries to pull her panties down her legs and off one foot at a time. Smiling the whole time, giddy with excitement – then straightening up to give us a full frontal – showing off her slim body and thick pubic bush (she’s not overly hairy, quite well tended to, just thick in the middle).

We cut to another room ... It’s inferred by Agnes’s strip that we’re still in the shop, but we’ve actually relocated to the home of our Bugtopia employee – to a room he uses with his partner ... She’s also present, although we never see her properly as she is also keen to protect her anonymity.

On the floor there’s a large glass tank, designed to house stick insects or snakes, but usually used by the girlfriend – it’s large enough for a fully grown woman to lay down inside...

Right now, our guest is stepping into that tank, nervous that the base might break under foot (it won’t), as she readies herself ... She crouches down, taking hold of the thick glass sides, and then drops into a seated position, looking excited about what’s about to happen...

We cut to a shot looking into a plastic cup, a close-up of the contents, half a dozen brown and black creatures, each of them around 5cm long, with easy to see heads, long antennae, their six legs all in the front half of their bodies, then a long abdomen with a nasty looking split tail/pair of pincers at the rear.

We hear Renae asking, “What do we have here?”

The Bugtopia employee, staying off camera, sounding a little nervous, tells us that, “This is Titanilabis Colossea ... It’s an Australian Earwig ... And the largest member of the earwig family ... And my partner is very keen on them...”

We cut to a wider shot as Renae turns around with the cup in her hand, holding it away from her body as she carries it carefully over to our aging blonde guest in the tank of the floor – now laid flat on her back, with her arms down by her sides. She’s already breathing hard and we haven’t even started yet...

“So ... An Australian Earwig, for our Australian whore ... You should feel right at home...” Jokes Renae – before checking, “Are you ready?” as her dimples popping as she manages an encouraging smile.

“Oooh yes, I’m very ready...” Smiles our gap-toothed guest, “Let’s do this!”

We close in on the cup as Renae reaches into the tank, tipping it carefully over the older woman’s chest, shaking it slightly until the large earwigs begin to fall out, landing on the inner curves of her guest’s chest, in the gap between them...

Agnes gasps and arches her back a little as the bugs land and begin to run around. Our host reaches in with the cup, using its edge to push the dark earwigs back before they can run off the edge of the body (she wouldn’t dream of touching them herself – Renae, it turns out, does have her limits).

As they run around, little legs prickling our guest’s sensitive skin, she writhes a little and lets out little nervous, excited noises... “Ahhh ... Uuuhhh ... Mmmm...” – biting her bottom lip as her fantasy quickly becomes reality.

We note that whilst five of the bugs are in a hurry to get off her, one of them has crawled into the crease under her breast and looks quite happy to stay there, its antennae wiggling around.

One of the bugs heads up to her neck, and disappears into her hair – another heads south and finds a spot to hide on the edge of her thick pubic hair ... The others continue to run around on her chest and belly, with Renae using the cup to prod at them.

“OOOhhhh ... Tickles...” Gasps our guest, adding, “I love it!” in case we hadn’t guessed.

We watch as the other bugs scuttle over her belly, two heading to the side and dropping off to the glass below ... The third being steered around with the edge of the cup until it finds its way to her belly button – which seems to interest it at first ... Making her laugh more as its sharp little feet tickle her sensitive flesh.

She sighs, “OOohhhh ... Woww...”, then squeals, “So pricklyyyyy!”

Our bug expert reaches in from beside Renae to flick the bugs out from under our guest, partly so she doesn’t squash them, and partly so he can pick them up and drop them on her boobs again (he doesn’t have any problem handling them), which makes her arch her back and giggle again.

From off camera, our host’s squeaky voice asks, “How does it feel?” – and the older woman gives us another wide-mouthed, gap-toothed smile, “It’s noooooiiiiice!”

Renae follows up with, “Do you want some more...?” - and the answer, of course, is, “YYeeeaaaasss, pleeeaaase!”

We cut away from her slim body to look at something even slimmer ... Moving slowly over our expert’s palm – a 15cm long, spindly, strange looking stick insect ... We can see tiny little dents in his skin where each of the bug’s pointed feet is resting, indicating that it’s got a little weight to it despite how thin it is. As our expert introduces it to us, he moves his hands infront of it so it can walking slowly from one to the next.

“This little beauty is Eurycnema Goliath ... The Goliath Stick Insect ... This particular one is called Simon, and he’s our personal pet ... He’s not a disposable little critter we just use for fun ... But my partner does loves to let him walk around on her ... He’s very delicate so you have to be very careful with him!”

There’s a look of pure anticipation on Agnes’s face as the bug is brought over to her, our expert resting the back of his hand on her thigh so that the big insect can step off onto her leg ... At first contact we see our guest jerk a little, his feet sending wild feelings through her body.

“Ooooooohh wwwoooowwwwww!” Gasps the aging blonde. Propping herself up a little so she can watch the creature walking slowly up her thigh, then anticlimactically stepping over her pussy and moving slowly over her shivering belly toward her quivering boobs. The earwigs are still moving around on her flesh (except the one that is still snuggled in the crease under her left tit who stays where he’s happy).

Agnes gasps with each little footstep, the gap-toothed smile never leaving her face.

“How’s that?” Asks Renae from off camera.

“I love it...” Confirms our guest, taking an extra big gasp/moan as the stick insect reaches out with one of his long front legs and pushes his little pointed foot down onto one of her soft breasts, stepping forward onto it, literally climbing the flesh like a little hill and setting himself there on the peak – apparently happy with this slightly raised position.