S14E16: Patsy McCaffery (29), from Dundee, Scotland

We’re on a quiet residential street. Modern brick semi-detached homes line one side of the road infront of us – very pleasant. We turn through 180 degrees and we’re facing the countryside ... Fields stretching away to the distance up a hill side, a line of trees along the ridge of the hill/end of the field.

Then we pan back to the street – where we can now see our host looking right into camera. Giving us a dimple-cheeked smile and flipping her long, brunette ringlets back over her shoulders, away from her spectacular (and expensive) cleavage (which is held in place by a skin-tight, bright red and very shiny PVC sexy mini-suit) as she introduces the show in her trademark squeaky northern accent. “Hello ... Welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ – I’m your favourite porn-princess, Renae Russell, and this week I’m in Scotland to meet another of those ladies who believes that size is all that matters!”

We cut to a vision – blonde haired, blue eyed, and beautiful. Wearing a blue dress that hangs off her body, so low and loose at the front that we can see her breasts are big (not too big mind) and natural; and her belly slim without being flat.

She introduces herself in a friendly, light and fluffy Scottish accent - direct to camera, flashing white teeth as she talks in an over-animated manner, moving around, her big eyes wide. If we didn’t know better we’d swear she’d just snorted a line of coke – but this is her, it’s all natural (just like her tits). “I’m Patsy McCaffery. I’m a 29-year-old wife, mother, and all-round good-time-girl ... I’m from Dundee, in Scotland, and I’ve always been turned on by animals ... And today, I make my dreams come true!”

We cut to a two shot of Patsy and our host standing side-by-side. It’s one of the best side-by-side shots we’ve ever had. The youthful blonde Scottish housewife, and the brunette English pornstar – real boobs vs fake boobs – a dress that’s barely there, vs a dress that’s tight enough that nothing is left to the imagination.

Renae raises her microphone and begins the pre-fuck interview. “Patsy ... You’re very pretty ... We’ll have to be careful you don’t put me out of a job today...”

“I don’t think there’s any danger of that...” Laughs our guest, grinning broadly at the warm welcome.

“So ... What brings you here today? Or should I say, what brings me here to you today?” Asks Renae.

The Scottish blonde pauses, preparing her reply (which is, of course, semi-prepared)... “Well ... I can remember when I was younger, I used to hear all those jokes about guys being hung like a horse ... Or hung like a donkey ... And I would think about a horse with a hard-on, rather than think about a guy with a huge cock ... And the idea of thinking about a horse with a hard-on, became a turn-on for me ... I got a bit of a thing about horses, and donkeys, and size – just sheer size - in my head ... And eventually, I got into fisting, because it was the only way I could get that sort of size ... And the first guy that ever fisted me – the only guy who ever fisted me – I married him, because it was amazing ... It was my dream come true ... Just being absolutely full, and stretched out, and in pain from how big it was ... But loving it ... Completely, and absolutely, loving it...”

There’s a short silence as both women think about marrying a man for his willingness (and ability) to fist a slut ... Then Renae moves things on, asking, “And how did you get from thinking about horses and being fisted, to here...?”

“Well ... As time’s gone on, I’ve thought more and more about actually doing it with a horse ... Rather than his fist and forearm...” She pauses, thinking about it, then continues, “Actually getting under a horse, and backing onto one of those huge cocks ... And the idea gets me horny – just the idea of actually doing it, makes me wet ... I’m wet right now...”

“Mmmm, nice...” Smiles Renae, and we can tell from her dimpled smile and the way she’s looking at her guest, that she really likes the idea of the Scottish woman’s pussy being wet ... She asks, “ ... And what does your husband think about this?”

Patsy almost laughs. “Oh, he figured it out years ago ... He used to talk about me needing a horse cock when he was fisting me, and I used to fuck his hand so hard, he knew it was a turn-on for me ... When I told him I was applying to come on the show, he wasn’t bothered about the horse at all. All he cared about was if I was happy to do it on camera ... And when I said that made it more of a turn-on he just said to make sure I didn’t have to sleep with Dennis to get on the show!” And now she does laugh.

“So, you’re not to fuck Dennis ... But a horse is alright...?” Smiles Renae.

“Apparently so...” Laughs our guest.

“I wonder how he’d feel about you fucking me?” Smirks Renae, those dimples going deep.

“Oh, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that...” Whispers the Scottish slut, moving a little closer to our host, right on cue, and letting Renae close the distance so that their lips can lock gently ... Eyes closing and mouths open, tongues slipping out and flicking over each other.

We hold on this, very pleasant, image for a little while, watching until we begin to think ‘this isn’t a real kiss, it’s a just for the camera thing’ – then close right in to hide an edit, pulling back away from the still kissing couple, to reveal that we’re in a new location ... In a field, near a small barn/shed ... And as we pull back further, we see that our guest has lost her blue dress and is now standing naked (apart from a pair of work boots, that look out of place – but are very sensible for the location).

By the time they break off the kiss, the fun/fake element has begun to fade, and it looks like they’re both pretty hot for it ... Renae gives our guest a little shove in the back, turning her around and hurrying her toward the shed, and the Scottish slut ‘complains’ that she’s being rushed, but it’s not a serious complaint...

And then we’re inside that shed/barn ... It’s not a large space. Enough room for our crew, our host and our guest, plus our star ... Champion - a huge, black and white horse – with a noticeably heavy sheath hanging under his belly – his cock isn’t on view yet, but we can tell it’s just a quick rub away from springing forth and astounding us!

Patsy walks to the horse, reaching out and stroking his huge head and down the side of his powerful neck, slapping her hand against it hard enough for us to be able to hear to heavy contact. The horse barely notices how hard she’s hitting him, it’s nothing to an animal of his strength.

Our guest looks sideways toward us as she continues to stroke and pat him, her soft Scottish accent bright and full of fun... “He’s sooooo hard ... I can’t believe how big he is ... It’s like the bloody Arnold Schwarzenegger of horses!”

Champion is, of course, just a regular horse – but for a woman who’s never seen one of these magnificent beasts from this angle or distance before, it’s something that takes getting used to.

We watch as she moves around to the side of the animal ... Stroking her hand down his neck, to his shoulder, patting the top of his leg, turning toward Renae again, stifling a giggle, “What have I got myself into?”

“Don’t forget...” Giggles our host. “Size matters!!” – which makes both of them giggle again.

From this angle we can see Patsy’s slim, tanned body, those lovely firm boobs sitting proud, nipples erect – standing a foot away from a horse that is many times bigger than her. Even with her work-boots giving her an extra inch of height she can’t see over his back. That chest is heaving as she tries to control her breathing and her excitement...

She steps forward toward his side, stroking his smooth flank, fingers rubbing over his ribs, bringing her chest closer to his, letting her firm boobs squash up against his hard ribs ... Letting her head angle forward and resting her cheek against him ... Then breathing along with him, sighing a little as she settles into the same rhythm as him. Shifting her weight from side to side to drag her boobs over his short hair, moaning about how it – “Feels wonderful...” then re-confirming that, “He’s SOOOO big!” in case we didn’t hear in the first few times.

We cut away to a shot of Renae, big smile, dimples deep in her cheeks as she watches her guest get acquainted with the horse...

Back to Patsy as she gradually works herself along his body, backwards toward his massive hindlegs – her boobs dragging along his course haired body, her cheek against his side ... Listening to him breathing, letting her lips touch him, her mouth a little open – her tongue slipping out so that the tip runs along the horse’s hair...

She sees our camera catching her caress, and a little smile flickers on the corners of her mouth, then she playfully allows her head to turn – face toward the horse, kissing his flank, and then showing us the back of her head as she continues to move slowly along his body.

We cut to a close-up of his huge cock ... It’s not even fully erect – ‘just’ ten inches of wrist thick meat, hanging half limp, wrinkled at the base indicating how much more growth in available ... It’s a reminder that as pretty as Patsy is, it’s this horse-cock that we’ve really come to see...

We hear Renae’s squeaky northern tones as she urges her guest, and us, to, “Look at that beautiful giant cock!”

The sexy blonde pulls away from beside the beast – moving her hands from his side to her boobs, squeezing them as she bends forward to take a look under his belly ... Getting a look at what we’ve just been looking at, her eyes lighting up and her mouth twisting into a quick smile ... Gasping again, “OOoooohhh ... He IS soooooo big!”

She pauses here, bent forward beside him, squeezing her tits and looking at his cock, fantasizing about how it will feel...

Renae prompts her, “Go on then ... Touch it ... You know you want to...”

Patsy laughs, catching a breath and confirming that, “I want to ... But ... Where do I start...? I don’t think I can handle all of that...” She looks like she can’t wait to try...

Still smiling, she reaches in under the horse’s belly and begins to stroke the semi-erect member ... A couple of seconds, then she grips the shaft and begins to give it a kind of a loose wank, jerking it up and down as it rapidly lengthens and hardens. “Wow!” She laughs... “That didn’t take much!!”

She doubles her efforts – twisting sideways to get closer to the huge animal, bending alongside him, a little under his belly, both hands now working his shaft to a fully erect state ... Placing one hand over the end of his huge cock whilst the other jerks the shaft ... She continues to sigh and gasp, “Oooohhhh! My Gahhd!!”

And then she’s pulling the 20-inch shaft over to the side, toward her, still wanking it ... Bringing it in to range. Shifting her body, turning to face the head of the cock, crouching/leaning forward to get her mouth to the strange tip of the tool – kissing it, and then smiling into our camera, letting her tongue slip out and run over the end. The tip of her tongue working the little urethra hole, her lips beginning to wrap around it. Struggling because it’s already so big. Still wanking the shaft toward herself the whole time.

Renae is encouraging her – urging her along the whole time – “Yes ... Ohhh, look at that ... Go on ... You’ve got to get that inside you...”

A large drip of fluid begins to form at the tip, and our sexy Scottish slut moves her lips down to slurp it off, making a loud, dirty noise as she sucks it between her lips ... Then pulling out and running that big wet dick around her cheeks, jaw and lips ... Leaving a snail trail of horse pre-cum all over her face...

Then she’s pushing it back into her mouth, at an angle – not managing to actually get the hole head inside her lips, but doing her best. Wanking that shaft toward her face ... Breathing hard and gasping with excitement as she does it. Pulling it out, and then snarling up into our cameras that, “I love that dirty horse cock ... It tastes sooooo baaaaad!”

We cut to a shot of our pornstar host, Renae, standing to the side, with her jacket popped open and her perfect, bolt-on tits on display – with her gently massaging them as she watches her guest get closer with the huge horse.