S13E15: Annika Blackwood (27), from Hull

We begin this week’s show inside an unidentified but impressively fresh and modern looking shopping mall ... Multiple levels of store-fronts with wide walk-ways outside.

Down on the ground level, walking through the main entrance, we see our host – the blonde haired, white toothed, big jawed, fake-tittied, All-American dogwhore, Jenna McCartney ... And by her side, trotting along and looking super-happy to be here ... Her muscular, wide-chested, American bulldog, Cooper. This mall has a strict no pets policy, but for Jenna they made an exception!

She walks toward camera and as soon as she’s close enough, begins her introduction in that sharp, confident, mid-western accent. “Hi ... I’m former Playboy Playmate of the month, Jenna McCartney, and this handsome boy is Cooper ... And this week we’re in Hull, in the north of England, to do a little window shopping ... I wonder if we might find something to take home for Cooper to play with...”

She smiles and continues walking past our camera, leaving us spinning around looking at the storefronts and the shoppers ... Every woman a potential guest on for the show ... We wonder who we might be seeing this week...

Then we close in on one particular storefront, “ALL NATURAL”, a health-food store with about a dozen signs in the window proclaiming that everything they stock is ‘ALL NATURAL’.

We cut to inside the store and see a slim, dark-haired member of staff with her back to us, putting items on a high shelf. Her skirt is so short that we can almost see the curve of her arse – and we wish it was shorter, because her legs are near perfect – slim and smooth – and the skirt flares in just the right way around her hips and arse to suggest her bum will be just as good. It’s also tight around her waist, suggesting she’s very slim. There’s a polo shirt above the skirt...

She steps back and turns to face us, and what we see is about as un-natural as it gets. She’s clearly had a ton of work done – from the almost glass smooth skin, to the pointed little nose, to the overblown lips, and her eyes almost pulled open due to her stiff brow and enhanced cheek-bones. Even her hair, thick but short, cut at strange angles. Very look-at-me. We also can’t help notice that her boobs are probably twice as big as they should be, round DD cups sitting proud on a narrow chest, straining that polo shirt with the now ironic “ALL NATURAL” brand logo on it. Someone had a sense of humour when they hired her!

She looks into camera – sultry and without a smiling, then introduces herself in a grating Humberside accent, “I’m Annika Blackwood” (she pronounces it An-eek-ah), then continues, “I’ve just turned 27 years old, and I’m from Hull.” She pauses to pose for a second, then tries to burn the camera with her sexuality (but comes off looking over-confident and a little desperate) – “And I’m going to be the baddest bitch this show has ever seen!”

We cut to a shot of Jenna standing opposite Annika – it’s like looking at something a comic book artist has drawn. Two fake girls – surgically enhanced chests, very slim bodies, strong jaws (Jenna’s natural, her guest’s made by a surgeon). The blonde and the brunette. With the broad, muscular beast standing at Jenna’s feet, looking out of place in a store like this.

“So...” Begins Jenna, “Tell me why we’re here today? What attracts you to the world of dogsex?”

Plastic fantastic talks like she’s presenting a public relations promotional feature, “I’m here today because I want people to look at me and think I’m something special ... Something different. I want to be the most amazing looking woman who ever fucked a dog...”

She’s dreaming – she’s a freak – but we’re not about to tell her that.

Jenna smiles, nodding as she listens to her guest. “Well, that’s a pretty high bar ... You’re an amazing looking lady, but there have been some other stunning ladies on the show over the years.”

Annika shrugs, not impressed. “Yeah, whatever ... No-one like me, though.”

She’s so full of herself. Posing even as she answers. Chin up to make sure she doesn’t risk a double chin (not that there’s enough fat to make one).

Jenna nods, “I see...” Then continues. “But why be the most amazing looking woman to fuck a dog? Why not be the most amazing woman to climb Mount Everest, or the most amazing woman to swim the English Channel?”

Our guest lets out a little snigger at the ideas. “This is more my pace ... Fucking ... I mean ... I’m really good at fucking ... So if I’m going to do anything on tv ... To show off ... It’s going to be fucking...” She says it all as if she thinks the audience at home will be nodding to everything she says.

“And once you’ve put on a little show with my doggy, here...” Says Jenna, nodding down to Cooper. “And the cameras have all gone ... Will doggies be something you are interested in playing with again - off camera?”

Annika thinks for a moment, looking genuinely confused. “Off camera? No ... Why would I do that?”

We pause on her as she continues to look baffled by the idea of doing anything off camera, then fade through to a hotel bedroom...

The bedroom is simple, a bed, a small desk, a tv. A door leads off at one end to the little bathroom. It’s not fancy – it’s not big ... Just a budget hotel with generic décor. Cheap but attractive enough.

The camera crew have already set up lights and tripod cameras, microphones, etc. But there’s no one here operating anything (except for the one camera we’re looking from right now).

The hotel is actually right next door to the shopping mall - the crew, Jenna, Cooper and their guest have all walked here from the shop, it’s that close...

The bedroom door opens. and Annika enters, still wearing her work outfit of mini-skirt and polo shirt. She looks around, checking the setting, as the crew comes in behind her. Zeroing in on the one working camera, she takes a couple of steps forward and peels that polo shirt up and over her big, fake boobs, and up over her head. The boobs are an impressive sight – more from an engineering point of view than a sexual one. Not huge, but so firm, and so round, with her small nipples looking completely out of place, giving away just how much she’s been enhanced.

We hear one of the crew saying, “Oh ‘eck, she’s already started...” – and then see them scramble to man their cameras as the strip continues.

The skirt is next, unfastened and allowed to just fall away to show off a high-hipped g-string, it’s front so narrow that we can almost see her pussy lips. What we can see is that if she has any pussy thatch at all, it must be the thinnest strip right up the middle, because the rest of her crotch is completely hairless.

And then those panties – she pulls them out, and looks down into them as if she’s checking that her pussy is still there ... Then letting a wry smile cross her thick lips, and pulling them down, confirming that her snatch is complete bald. Which she seems to think makes her special. Naked, but looking strangely fake – like a Bratz Doll come to life – she poses for the camera for a second, then turns around to face Jenna and the American bulldog. Ironically, it’s only when she turns away from us that we see her best feature – because it’s her most natural ... That extremely well-toned bottom and her thighs. Firm and smooth, with lovely tight curves.

Jenna leans down toward Cooper, moving her hands along the leash to his collar, getting ready to release him. “Is it fair to say that you haven’t got anything you want to ask?”

“No ... I know everything I know ... And I can learn anything I need to learn...” She smirks.

“You think you’re ready?” Checks Jenna.

“Oh, I’m very ready!” Purrs Annika, looking sideways at one of our cameras – too bad it’s not the one we’re using right now.

“Okay then...” Jenna unhooks the dog’s collar... “Let’s get to it, then...” The look on her face that suggests she thinks her guest is in for a rude awakening...

We cut to a few moments later, with Annika now sitting on the edge of the bed and Cooper standing infront of her, straining against his lead.

She runs her fingertips from her knees along her thighs up to her hairless pussy, then up over her tiny belly to those big fake boobs – around and under them ... Then to her hard nipples, which she plays with gently. She looks up at the camera, then back down at the dog.

“I can’t wait to have him use me...” She says. “It’s going to be disgusting...” Then leaning in toward the dog, looking into his face as she plays with his head. “I’m a dirty fucking slut ... But I’m an amazing fuck ... Will you fuck me, doggy? Will ya?”

Jenna moves forward, letting Cooper pull close enough to push his head between Annika’s thighs ... She opens them, leaning back a little and putting her hands flat on the bed behind her, presenting her shaven haven to him...

He slops that big tongue over her flesh – dragging it over and between her lips, over her clit, making her arch her back, smile and gasp in response. “Oooohhhhhh, that’s ... Mmmnnnnnn.” She moans, tossing her head back and pushing those fake tits up into the air – looking over to us, those big lips pushed out duck-faced – making sure we’re looking at her...

She’s posing like a twisted fifties pin-up ... A fifties pin-up with a dog standing infront of her – licking her snatch ... She doesn’t look like she’s enjoying it too much – she’s too busy making sure she looks ‘good’. Flat belly, straight back, shoulders back, fake tits pushed out – holding the pose to look her best.

With all that cosmetic surgery her ‘best’ is a twisted cartoon vision of what a woman should be. Each time we get a proper, full-length, shot of her, we are reminded of just how fake she looks. She barely seems to care that the dog is licking her – a little roll of her hips is the only sign that she’s even feeling his tongue in her groove.

“Are you having fun?” Checks Jenna.

Our guest turns her head, pouting for the camera, giving us the duckface, as she nods and confirms, “Oh ... It’s nice, yes...” But the way she’s reacting is still very subdued compared to our previous guests. We don’t particularly believe that she’s actually getting off on this. She’s all surface, it’s a show ... She proves that, adding “Doggy licking my CUNT!” for ‘shock’ effect.

Jenna decides to raise the stakes, stepping up to the side of the bed and taking hold of Cooper’s collar, pulling him back toward herself. “I think we’ve got this backwards ... You said this was about you being a slut, not about you having fun ... We don’t want to see him licking you ... We want to see you licking him!”

Our host then reaches under her dog, stroking his belly and taking hold of his sheath, rubbing it quickly ... Making it grow like magic ... The lipstick tip poking out almost immediately. She bends to the side so she can see under her boy, fondling him, drawing the sheath back to reveal more of the growing shaft, looking back toward her guest and noting that, “I want to see you wrap those big fake lips around this very natural doggy cock ... And I’d love to see some heat...”

Annika’s expression barely changes, her smooth cheeks hiding whether she’s excited or disappointed by this ... She just blankly watches our host stimulating the dog, then, as she sees the tip of the cock appear, looks up toward camera and runs her tongue over her lips, wetting them a little, pouting ... Again, showing off for the viewers at home.

She repositions, moaning, “Suck his cock ... Yeah ... I want to suck his cock alllllll the way down my throat...” as she turns and takes up a doggy-style stance side-on to the dog, with her head next to his body. We can tell from the way she’s moving, looking toward our cameras, that she’s positioning herself to look her best – big fake tits in profile, her flat belly sucked in to look even thinner, thighs tensed, arms tensed ... Pouting as she leans forward – letting Jenna angle the head of the cock out toward her – adding, for the camera, “Big doggy COCK in my dirty mouth!”, then opening that dirty mouth and taking the end of the cock between her swollen lips, letting them pass around the head and along the shaft.