s11e13: Karnam Usher (39), from Worcester

We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a very wide street in a sleepy English town. On the far side of the street - brown brick buildings, a clocktower, a pub, and a line of two-story shops (shopfront downstairs, shopkeeper’s residence above), everything with steep tiled roofs.

We see a familiar figure walking along infront of these shops, somehow managing to walk smoothly on stack-heeled stripper shoes, her almost skin-tight black PVC ‘business suit’ pushing her fake boobs up and together – so curved and shiny. It’s our hostess with the mostess ... Our American dream – former Playboy playmate, Jenna McCartney ... Larger than life and twice as dirty – and from the looks she gets from passing pedestrians, and the car horn toots, we can see that there are plenty who like what they see.

We cut to the front of a charity shop. Jenna is standing by the entrance, looking into camera, smiling as she delivers her intro in that sexy American accent of hers. “Hello, and welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’. This week we’ve travelled to Worcester, on the west midlands, to surprise a long-time fan of the show, who wrote and told me about a very dirty fantasy...”

Inside the shop, racks of second-hand clothing and shelves full of trinkets, books and assorted useable trash, and then, at the end of an aisle, this week’s guest...

She’s a shortish, widish, Indian lady in casual clothing. Long black hair frames her square face and lopsided uncertain smile. She introduces herself in a borderline breathless, very stereotypically Indian-English (with no sense of any black country/midlands accent). “Hello ... My name is Karnam Usha ... I’m 39-year-old lady, living in Worcester, in England, and I want very much to have sex with an animal...”

We cut to a shot of Karnam and Jenna side-by-side in the rear of the shop. There aren’t any customers here (none that we can see anyway), and the other worker is standing outside having a cigarette, so our guest is free to tell Jenna (and our cameras) her story – which she does, as Jenna nods and smiles.

“I was always a very horny lady ... I love to fantasize about women doing dirty things. I used to get a little ashamed about it. I’d have these great dirty thoughts, and I’d finger myself to an orgasm, and then I’d feel like I’d done something bad ... But every time the fantasies got worse ... Which made me even more horny ... I ended up thinking about women having sex with the dogs – I didn’t even know women could do that, I just thought it was a dirty idea. I’d think about people I knew doing it. People from television ... People I worked with. One time I even thought about my mother after we had a row! Never me though.”

We cut to a different angle as she continues, “It was always frustrating that I had these thoughts and had to keep them to myself ... Then I met my husband, and I knew he was THE ONE, because for the first time in my life I felt safe to share my thoughts – and they turned HIM on too...” Beside our guest, Jenna gives this an extra friendly smile, nodding her approval that the husband shares beasty thoughts...

Karnam continues, “It was amazing, I could tell him my fantasies and we’d both just lay there and play with ourselves ... I’d talk about women with dogs, and he’d wank off all over my pussy whilst I fingered myself. I love the feeling of cum on my pussy whilst I masturbate...” She giggles a little.

“And how did he feel about it?” Checks Jenna.

“Oh, he loved it ... He would play along ... He would suggest breeds of dog, or names of women, and I’d tell him what I was thinking about ... And then one time, instead of naming a breed of dog, he said ‘Pig’ ... And it confused me, and excited me, and I just started telling him a story about ME having sex with a pig ... All from my imagination, because I had never seen a lady with a pig before then ... And everything changed ... I couldn’t believe how wet that made me...” She smiles from the memory ... Beside her, Jenna doesn’t look as impressed – pulling a slightly “yucky” face.

“And now ... Well ... I couldn’t resist when I saw pigs on your show ... I thought to myself, I must go on the show because this is my chance to be with a pig for real...”

“And what did you husband think about that?” Asks Jenna.

“Well ... He was little bit nervous, because, you know, people will not like it – but I think he is happy because he has never asked me not to do the show, but...” She pauses.

“But...?” Pushed Jenna.

“Well ... I want to do the show now, just in case he tells me not to do it ... You know? Because if I do it before he tells me not to, he can’t be upset!” She lets out a little nervous laugh.

“In that case...” Begins Jenna. “ ... We better get started!”

We cut to a full length She looks up into the camera, smiles a cheeky little smile, and then repeats her introduction. “My name is Karnam Usher, and I want to have sex with a pig!” – she looks to the side to Jenna, to make sure she’s doing this right ... Jenna nods and gives her an encouraging little smile, whispering “Go on...”

Karnam raises her hands and, with a big smile, takes us back to the old UK of Zoo clap from a few years ago – bringing them together infront of the camera...

And we cut to outside the pig shed at our favourite pig farm ... Karnam is standing, completely naked, she’s a little roly-poly, not obese, with her C-cup boobs sagging, her belly soft and round, and a big hairy pussy bush ... Jenna is still beside her, and still (just about) in her PVC mini-suit.

Our guest smiles into camera and says, to the audience at home, “Come with me and watch as I am having sex with a pig...”, and then turns and walks off toward the shed – her saggy arse bouncing behind her as she wobbles away from us. Jenna walks along with her, making sure she stays in frame to give us some eye-candy, but out of the way of her guest so we can see this week’s animal fucker clearly...

Karnam walks as if she should be much fatter than she is – like exercise of any kind is a bit of a chore. She takes the door handle and pulls, barely moving the door, then gathers herself for some serious exercise, and leans back to heave the door open. It’s heavy, but none of our other girls have struggled like this.

Inside, we watch as she walks down the narrow walkway, her wide hips swinging from side to side as her heavy feet slap along the concrete. Her hands out to the side running along the wooden slats that front various empty stalls, or the breeze-block walls between them.

“Smells quite terrible in here...” She comments as we move in for a close-up. “Dirty animals!” She smiles, quite clearly turned-on by the idea of dirty animals. Behind her, Jenna looks like she’d put a clothes-peg on her nose if she got the chance.

Our Indian guest arrives at Winston’s pen – the largest in the room, and the best illuminated (which isn’t saying much). Breeze-block walls, a wooden fence to the front, and a straw and mud filled interior. She’s turning her nose up as she approaches, but her expression soon turns to a smile again when she sees the pig himself.

“My word,” she says, with almost comedic stereotyping, “He is such a big fat monster!” She turns away from the pen to look back at Jenna. Breathing hard and failing to look too disgusted. “I am really going to be having sex with that?”

We cut to a shot of Winston as he raises his head from the shit and dirt on the floor and looks up at Karnam. He grunts, and we almost expect to see a subtitle saying, “I am really going to be having sex with THAT?”

“Looks like love at first sight to me...” Comments Jenna sarcastically – then talking to our guest, “Are you looking forward to this?”

“Oh, I’m looking forward to it very much ... Yes...” Gasps Karnam, beginning to play with her fat boobs as she watches the pig shuffling around in the pen. A smile spreading over her face.

We cut to a moment later, as the gate is edged open just far enough for Karnam to squeeze through and enter...

The pig stops moving, eyeing up the new arrival as she takes small steps toward him, still holding her boobs, fingers pinching at her brown nipples.

He appears to lose interest, turning sideways and walking across her path, perhaps looking for something to eat rather than fuck – and Karnam tries to regain his attention by balancing on one foot, reaching out toward the beast with the other, giving him a little shove on the hindquarters rather than a kick. Smiling again as she feels his weight, ungiving, against her pressure. “He’s such a heavy boy ... So big ... He will crush me...” And she smiles again at the thought.

The shove is enough to get Winston turned around – the big pig walking back toward her, raising his big soft snout, and snorting the air infront of her. Despite her being a little chubby, and much shorter than the pig, he still dwarfs her for bulk.

She keeps her hands on her boobs, which means he is able to push his slimy nose up between her thighs to snort at the thick tuft of black pussy. Far from being nervous, our little Indian friend actually leans back, pushing her crotch forward and letting her thighs part.

“You look like you’re really ready for this...” Notes Jenna from outside the pen.

Karnam looks back over her shoulder toward her host, hands still massaging her boobs, letting the pig continue to sniff her cunt. “Ooohh, yessss ... I am very excited for this ... I have been thinking about it for a long time...”

We move around her as she lets the pig continue to sniff and shuffle around infront of her, letting him stick his snout right up against her pussy, gasping a little and smiling – almost jumping backward, but never letting go of her boobs.

As we move around her, we note that the ‘mounting arch’ is behind them ... Sitting like a half-barrel on its side and covered with a slightly soiled soft blanket.

Karnam looks up again, toward us (and Jenna, who is beside the camera). “Can we get started now?”

We cut to an image of the end of the arch – with Karnam crawling under it, toward us ... She looks genuinely excited by all of this. We can see Winston moving around behind her, not interested in waiting any longer than he has to.

Then we cut to the rear, watching her big arse as she shuffles away from us – Winston walking behind her, making tentative efforts to put a trotter up on her arse, falling just short as she wriggles her ‘wide load’ forward, ducking her head down under the arch, then crawling into the safety device...

The big pig follows, planting one of his trotters on top of the arch as he pushes up closer behind her. He pushes his weight up and forward onto the metal structure, which creaks under his weight.

It’s subtle, many don’t even notice it, but as the scene begins to pick up pace, we alter the sound mix to bring up the ugly, rasping sound of Winston’s heavy breathing, capturing the effect of what it’s like to be the whore under the animal.

We cut down to a low angle of her rear, watching as the pink beast heaves himself forward over her brown bottom, the arch creaking under his weight with every move ... Lining his fat belly up with her pink pussy slit.