s9e20 - Yvette Nolan (59) Irish pilot

Series 9, Episode 20: Yvette Nolan (59), from Belfast

We cut to an establishing shot of a small commercial aeroplane coming in to land on a wide runway at an airport. We watch the plane fly overhead and turn to see it touching down. Then we cut to the inside of the terminal, seeing the passengers, staff and armed security. Signs show arrival and departures and we watch as they update for a second – and note one arrival, from Manchester – updating to show that it has arrived, and passengers are disembarking.

We pan down from the arrival board to see our host.

It’s everyone’s favourite fat Cockney, Dennis ... Short, fat, and with hair everywhere except the top of his head, he’s still a shock to the system after all of our lovely ladies and handsome hounds ... Speaking of which – this is the first time we’ve ever seen him without a dog by his side, because...

“Ello, welcome to another edition of the ‘United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m Dennis ... And this...” He pauses, looking down to his side, then continuing, “Well, this is no-one, because the authorities didn’t want us to bring a dog in here – even one as handsome and talented as old Casanova...”

We cut to him walking through the airport, toward the arrivals gate. “This week we’ve crossed the sea to Northern Ireland ... We’re at the George Best Airport to surprise a lady with some surprising tastes...”

Behind Dennis, we see a pair of doors sliding open, and two pilots in appearing side-by-side. One male, one female, both in EasyJet uniforms. The female is getting on a bit, with high cheekbones and a narrow jaw, not carrying too much extra weight, although the jacket of her uniform is pretty nicely filled out.

The male pilot immediately spots our little camera crew and points us out to the female, who nods, confirming that she’d already spotted us, then walks confidently in our direction.

We cut to a shot of her in close-up, addressing us in a clear, professional tone, straight-faced and confident. “My name is Yvette Nolan, I’m 59 years old, and I’m from Belfast.” She allows herself a little smile as she adds, “Today we’ll be cruising under a dog, enjoying a one-way journey to the United Kingdom of Zoo ... I hope it’s a bumpy ride!”

Dennis interrupts, leaning infront of the camera and commenting, “That’s a better intro than mine ... I wish I’d thought of that!” And chuckling.

Then we’re back to Yvette, now sitting back on a couch in a comfortable airport hotel room. She’s still wearing most of her uniform, but the jacket is off, and her blouse is half-unbuttoned, semi-open, showing off a large slice of wide cleavage and the edge of one cup of her bra. Her hair is now hanging loose over her shoulders, light brown (bordering on dirty blonde).

She tells her story with a gin and tonic in her hand – and spends as much time waving the glass around as actually drinking from it (and never spills a drop). Everything is said in that universal professional pilot’s voice, smooth and relaxed even as she discusses her sexual fantasies whilst half drunk.

“I’ve been flying for over 30 years, and I’ve never given myself time for anything other than superficial relationships. I was married once, but that didn’t last ... So it’s been casual sex in hotel rooms with another pilot, or a flight attendant – when I could find a straight one!”

She continues, “I’ve flown all around the world, everywhere you can think of, and I’ve seen a lot of things ... I always used to ask the local air-crew to show me the wildest night out in town, and the three that always stick out are two day stays in Thailand, Mexico and Germany ... And the reason they stick our are...” She waves the glass in her right hand, over the fingers of her left – counting the occasions off... “Thailand, little lady getting fucked by a dog in a nightclub ... Mexico, old slapper getting fucked by a horse in a stable ... Germany, two girls taking turns with dogs in a bar...”

She pauses to take a drink, then continues, “The depravity of it always stuck in my mind – and I would have tried it if I had the chance, but we always had to leave town the next day ... I’ve thought about getting my own dog, but I’m never home and it wouldn’t be fair to the little fella ... But now I’m getting close to retirement age, and I’m going to be home a lot ... So, I’m looking for something to keep my busy – and I can’t imagine anything more interesting than having a few dogs to entertain me!” She holds her hands up as if she’s made a definitive statement.

“But...” She pauses to take another drink. “My problem is – I’ve watched it being done live ... I’ve watched in on videos ... But I’ve never tried it. So I know it looks like fun, but I don’t actually know if I’ll enjoy it ... And if I got a couple of dogs, then found out I didn’t like it – well, then I’d have a couple of dogs to look after – and nothing personal against dogs, but if I’m not enjoying sex with them, I don’t know why I’d want to own them...”

We hear Dennis, from off camera, “Well, I’m sure Casanova will convince you that dog ownership is a worthwhile endeavor!”

Yvette looks over at the dog, all but licking her lips in anticipation, and nodding as she says, “Oh, I’m certainly hoping he will!”

We cut to a shot of her getting up from the couch, moving to unbutton the rest of her blouse, then looking up at our camera as she remembers the last direction she was given. She steps toward the camera, a half-smile across her face, steps toward us, reaching out and clapping her hands ... And when they part, she is naked with her hands in the air as if she’s celebrating her nudity.

Her body is loose, but not bad for a lady approaching 60. Pilots need to stay healthy, and she certainly has. Slim but soft. Her boobs big enough to be interesting, but not so heavy as to sag too low. Legs and arms in decent condition – though beginning to get that tired hang-off-the-bone look older women get. Her pussy is neatly-styled – appropriately enough looking like a landing strip running three inches up from her cunt.

“Lady’s and gentlemen...” Begins Dennis, from off camera. “Fasten your seatbelts and return your seat back and folding tray to their full upright position – the captain is preparing for take-off...”

“Am I ever...” Notes Yvette as backs off to the couch and sits down again ... Waiting...

Dennis releases Casanova and the big Doberman bounds across the room, into view of our cameras, and jumps up onto the couch beside our Irish pilot.

Yvette puts her arm around the dog, welcoming and calming him at the same time... “Hello there...” and he leans up against her. She strokes his shiny black hair, reaching around inside his knee to stroke his belly. She’s trying to maintain her captain’s sense of cool, but constantly looking sideways at him with a touch of awe in her eyes. She clearly can’t wait to get started.

The big dog shifts around a little, his head rubbing against one of her boobs – his tongue flapping out and brushing over her nipple, making her shudder a little.

“Now,” warns Dennis, “Just remember to be careful - he really is a very physical lover ... So ... I just have to make sure you’re ready for that...”

Yvette smiles and nods, clearly looking forward to it. “You’d be surprised how ‘physical’ I like it, darlin’.”

“Well, if that’s the case I’ll just shut up and leave the two of you to it ... Take it away, Yvette...”

Yvette smiles and takes a deep breath, shuffling forward on the cushion and pushing Casanova back along to the next one. She rolls over, pulling her knees up onto the seat, leaning forward, elbows against the arm of the couch. Her knees are fairly close together, her tits hanging down, soft and pale, and she’s leaning back from her knees to present her soft rear end to the dog...

“Come on then, boy...” She calls back over her shoulder. “Let me see what I’ve been missin’!”

The big Doberman jumps up to his feet and starts to move around behind her, moving closer, trying to balance with the spongy cushions under his paws. Edging up to her, between her calves, his nose between her thighs – sniffing and licking, then then quickly moving from explore mode, to fuck mode ... No foreplay today ... He rises up and mounts her, his strong front legs wrapping around her, dew claws scraping down the side of her ribs.

Her boobs wobble as he takes up position, balancing on her back, unable to keep his hindlegs steady, hopping from one to the other on the soft surface, his whole-body rocking, and in turn making the lady wobble too, especially those soft tits hers – dangling forward and jiggling every time she moves.

She’s working hard to rest her weight forward on her arms, making sure the dog doesn’t tip her sideways off the couch as he moves around looking for the right position and angle ... Stable or not, he doesn’t care, or understand, about their safety ... He starts to jab his sheath at her pussy ... The little pink tip already showing ... Ready to go...

She drops her forearm to the arm of the couch and balances all of her weight on that one, and reaches back between her thighs with the other. Fingers stretching out to try and guide the beast’s cock into her hole...

We can’t quite see what’s going on – her legs and the dog blocking our view – but we know the second she manages to steer him home because she lets out the loudest, “FUCK!” of surprise/shock and her head rises up, eyes wide, as the dog lurches forward...

Then she drops her head to her forearm as the dog goes crazy on her – pounding at high speed into her tired old cunt.

We can’t see her face, but we can still hear her voice, loud and clear... “Oh – my – fucking – Christ!” She gasps – her words split by the shaking action of the dog’s thrusts.

“Looks like we’re in for a bumpy ride!” Jokes Dennis as his dog continues to shuffle around behind the bitch even as he fucks her.

She gasps and swears at the high-speed pounding – her body jiggling and jerking under the beast ... He holds onto her hips, pulling himself as close as possible, digging his front paws into her thighs as his hindpaws dance on the soft cushions, pulling her around under him, making her whole body swing from side to side.

We cut to the rear angle, a camera reached in under her body and between her legs – looking up – its little built-in lamp illuminating the action. Cock slipping in and out of her sloppy old cunt. Wet and squelching with every stroke.

We cut back to the wide angle – and watch as the dog suddenly slows down, tries to adjust his position and then topples off the side of the old slut – having to jump off the couch in a hurry to avoid falling – but leaving her safe on her knees...

Yvette looks up from her arm, turning her head toward us to watch the dog stumbling away. “That better not be it!”

That’s not it ... Because we immediately cut to another image of Yvette, now on the floor, but with one of the couch cushions under her knees ... Arse in the air, leaning forward on the couch where the cushion was, her arms out infront of her – and Casanova up behind her again, being helped into position by Dennis (who also helps to re-direct the beast’s cock back into her cunt), joking “Throttle up...”