S01E016: Corinne Burns (51), from London

A residential street in North London. Residents head off to work or to drop the kids off at school. A postie delivers the mail from door to door. We focus on her as she works her way up the street toward us – and then she’s walking right up to the camera. Dark blue pants, pale blue shirt, sensible shoes, and a high-viz vest. It’s anything but sexy.

As she gets closer we can see that her dark hair frames very square, attractive face, with strong well-defined bone structure, the jaw, the nose, the cheekbones ... The closer she gets, the more ‘striking’ rather than attractive she looks. She’s middle aged, but she’s looked after herself with lots of fresh air and exercise, a legacy of almost 30 years delivering the Royal Mail.

Beyond, or beneath, the uniform she appears to be in good shape – a healthy build. Slim, but a little wide in the shoulders and across the back, strong – she’s carried a lot of mail over the years. Great skin, surprisingly pale for a woman who works outdoors – but then again, this is outdoors in England...

She speaks with a broken, accent-less, off-key tone, that lets us know that she is hearing impaired.

“My name Corinne Burns. Age 51. Postal worker. Walthamstow, North London.”

A montage of Corinne - she delivers the mail, waves to familiar faces on her regular delivery route, returns home at the end of her shift (home being a two-story terraced house in a pleasant street) – and then we’re interviewing her face-to-face.

Her dialogue is difficult to understand due to her hearing impairment, so there are subtitles for the first time on the show.

“I’ve tried to find love but it never seems to work out. I don’t know why. I think men want conversation more than we think they do.”

“I always liked sex. I have a good appetite for it, but I could never meet men because it hard to start a conversation with a girl who can’t hear you!”

“I use Tinder now to find younger men. I can get to know them with messages before we have to talk – then when we meet we just have sex. Those men don’t come back again though. They love me and leave me.”

“I love porn. The harder the better. I love beasty videos. Love to see a woman getting fucked by a dog. I wanted to do ever since I first saw it online in the 90s.”

“That old cliché about dogs chasing postmen – I’m the opposite. I chase dogs. Big dogs. Any opportunity to play with a strange dog, to touch it and stroke its fur. Feel those muscles. Feel that energy. I’m not shy about it – I’m just very attracted to dogs. I’ve wanted to have sex with one for as long as I can remember.”

What’s your history?

“I was born deaf. I’ve never been able to hear. I’ve watched all this porn, but I’ve never heard a girl moan, or a dog bark ... I can lip-read, so I know what the girls are saying in the videos. I like to see them talk.”
“My parents got were obsessed with saving money, so they had this house, and they bought next door too. My father died when I was young, and mum died a couple of years ago. So the house and next door are both mine. No mortgage. I’ve never paid one. Never paid rent. I don’t go on holiday. I just an old car. I’ve been working since I was 16. All my money is in the bank for a rainy day.”

What’s your future?

“I’m 51 now, and I’m ready to retire. My dream is to sell both of these houses, and move up north, to the countryside, and live off my savings. Get a big bit of land and half a dozen dogs, and spend all my days having sex with them. I’ve had this dream for over a twenty years but I’ve never broken my doggy virginity so I need to do this today to put me over the edge and to force me to make the move because I couldn’t go back to work once my workmates know about my desires. The worst thing about people talking behind your back, is when they can really talk right behind your back, and you can’t hear a word...!”

So if this goes well, you buy a bunch of doggies and have fun with them for the rest of your life ... And if it doesn’t go well?

She looks a bit confused for a second – like the idea of it not going well had never occurred to her. “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again?!” She laughs.

Cut to her standing in the well-appointed living room of a nice house. Much brighter than her own. She looks right into camera. “My name is Corinne Burns. I’m 51 years old. And I really want to have sex with a dog.”

In a wider shot we realise that the whole travel sequence has been ignored this week, and Corinne is already at Kevin’s home in Oldham. She’s no longer wearing the dull post office uniform, she’s a bit girly now, with a dark bodystocking and a pair of nicely fitting trousers, plus high heels. Large dot-points on her chest suggest that her nipples are already standing at attention.

Kevin’s German Shepherd, Vader, is already in the room and sitting next to her. She sits beside him on the floor, her legs out to one side, resting her weight on one hand, her other arm wrapped around Vader – stroking his flanks and running her fingers through his long hairy coat.

She occasionally looks up from him to the camera and let’s us know that – “He’s a very strong looking boy”, or “he smells very doggy”, or “I’m looking forward to this so much”.

She strips off as soon as it is suggested. She can’t wait. The trousers first, revealing strong legs, toned from miles of walking with a big bag of mail over her shoulder. Then the bodystocking, unclipping the gusset fastener and peeling the whole thing up and over her head. Her belly isn’t completely flat, but is outstanding for a 51 year old; no bra, and though her boobs are small and sag just a little, they are still nice and round, widely spaced on her chest with a good two inches of space between them. All of her flesh is pale. Panties are removed next to reveal a completely bald pussy. She says she shaved this morning just for Vader.

As usual, as soon as she’s started to get naked, Vader has become aroused – knowing that this signs that this isn’t just a house guest. He’s running around, sniffing at her, circling the room, barking occasionally. Corinne crouches down and places her hands on his chest and asks him to bark for her ... Then Kevin gives Vader a signal, a clenched fist, and the dog barks twice. Corinne feels the vibrations through his rib-cage, the rush of warm air from his mouth – it’s the first time she’s ‘heard’ a dog bark, and she is blown away by the ‘sound’. She holds him tight, her arms wrapped around his shoulders/neck, his head over hers, fur against the side of her face.