s6e21: The Portsmouth Women's Institute

Series 6, Episode 20 The Portsmouth Women’s Institute (ages 50-60), from Portsmouth

We open with a very simple and idyllic establishing shot of the front of an unobtrusive building with a little square of grass around it. A sign reads, “PORTSMOUTH WOMEN’S INSTITUTE”

A small car park is half filled with sensible middle-class cars a Volvo, an Audi, a nice VW, etc. Trees rustle as the wind blows through them. Very safe violin music plays on the soundtrack and then The needle on the record scratches and our hostess, Charley, steps into frame.

She’s gone almost full-on punk rock. Her hair dyed shock red, her make-up like something Harley Quinn would call too slutty. She’s wearing high-heels, short-shorts and a mesh singlet top and we can see her perfectly fake round, bolt-on fake tits through it, glimpses of her nipple rings, we can almost read the large tattoo across her chest. Yet she speaks as if she’s the most conservatively dressed tv host we’ve ever seen.

“Hello, and welcome to the final episode of this somewhat disjointed series of ëThe United Kingdom of Zoo’. Over the last 20 shows we’ve broken travel bans and flaunted social distancing laws in a wild and irresponsible manner, because your pleasure and our guest’s fantasies is more important than any mere pandemic!”

We move into close-up her once pretty face now looking more like a Japanese latex sex-doll than a human. “Yes As sure as I love a big fat doggy dick, this virus will never defeat us Here in the United Kingdom of Zoo we’re made of tougher stuff!”

Behind her we see a middle-aged woman wearing a sensible pair of trousers and a big coat, as well as a face-mask, entering the women’s institute half turning her blonde haired head toward the camera, just letting us know that she’s aware what’s going on.

We cut to the inside of the building, white walls and brown parquet wooden flooring a small hall, enough space to put on a talk for 200 people, or to serve dinner for 80. With so few people here today, every noise echoes a little in the hollow sounding space. There are chairs stacked up along one wall, windows on the other, and exits at the far end to the toilets and a large kitchen. There are six chairs in the middle of the room five in a responsibly socially distanced arc infront of the sixth.

Charley continues in voice-over. “We’re here in Portsmouth, on the South Coast of England, to meet a group of ladies from the Women’s Institute. Usually famed for their selfless charitable endeavours, today, they are here to do something selfish And decidedly dirty”

As she speaks, we see five respectable looking women walk into shot and make themselves comfortable in the five chairs. They are older women, but not pensioners, four blondes and a redhead. As she ends her statement, Charley enters shot and sits down in the final chair, facing the ladies, ready to conduct their interview.

The ladies introduce themselves from left to right each in a chest-up close-up. As we get a good look at each, we can see that they have ëglammed’ up make-up and hair, and we guess that under their blouses and skirts they are all wearing their best lingerie too

First off it’s the oldest of the group, and she looks it. A neat white-grey pixie cut, a round face with a wide, friendly smile featuring slightly yellowed and crooked teeth (not snaggle toothed, but uneven). Her skin is marked with a slightly red rash across her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose, a mild skin condition. She is well-spoken and friendly.

“Hello, I’m Vivienne Winstanley. I’m 60 years old and I’ve lived in Portsmouth my whole life I had a good childhood, but I went a little crazy in the 80s, when I was in my late teens and early twenties I had a lot of fun, if you know what I mean But then I met Bryan, and we settled down and I’ve not done anything ëinteresting’ for 34 years I joined the Women’s Institute 26 years ago, and I’ve been coming here ever since... “ She looks to her left and the camera moves along in that direction to the second lady

She is larger than Vivienne, her lowish cut top showing off plenty of cleavage. Her cheery face a slightly narrower than Vivienne’s, but her thin-lipped smile no less genuine. Her blonde hair is clearly coloured, and is tied back around behind her head, just about reaching the collar of her blouse. She speaks with an Irish accent strong enough to let us know that she grew up on the Emerald Isle.

“Hello, I’m Anita Douglas I’m 58 years old, and I’ve been married to Clive for 30 years. I was born in Dublin and was always a very good Catholic girl until I moved over to England and met Clive He really expanded my horizons if you know what I mean But he got old and we slowed down. I have been a member of the Institute for far longer than I’d care to admit, but I’ve always felt that something was missing from my life.” She turns to look left at the next girl. We pan along again, to look at the third lady

She is the smallest of the ladies, very slim with features are almost delicate high cheekbones, pointy nose, defined jawline, framed with long naturally blonde hair there’s not much fat on her at all. She’s bright, full of energy, and appears to be trying to put on a bit of a show working as if she’s on stage rather than screen, lacking subtlety.

“Hello there I’m Lysette Blackhall I’m 54 And I’ve been in the Women’s Institute for about 12 years.” She looks right, as if checking that they approve of what she’s said, thinking of something to add. “Oh I’ve been married for 9 years, to my second husband My first husband thought I was a lesbian He said I never stopped talking about women’s bodies” She laughs, not bothering to finish her story.

“Are you?” Calls Charley from behind the camera.

“Oh I think I’m a tri-sexual I’ll try anything!” She laughs at her own joke, then turns to look at the fourth lady.

She’s the youngest of the group and looks a little younger than the age she gives Her features a sharp and her skin smooth. Her long, light brown hair hangs down over her shoulders and part way down her back. She’s wearing a tight turtle-neck sweater that really shows off her big chest and narrow body, and she has a distinct ëLondon’ (not Cockney) accent.

“Hello I’m Gwyneth Foster, I’ve just turned 50”

Before she can continue a couple of the others comment, “Baby” and “So young”

Gwyneth pushes on, “I was raised in Romford, in Essex, but I’ve been here in Portsmouth for about a decade with my husband Simon. Ahm I used to do a little bit of modelling and, I always knew how to have fun. I’ve tried most things but I’ve never tried anything with an animal!” She pauses, then hurries to add, “Oh, and I’ve been in the Women’s Institute for 5 years.” And then she too looks to her left, taking the camera over to the final figure

This one seems almost surprised that it’s her turn already and speaks as if she hasn’t had time to prepare. She’s the shortest of the group but her chunky body is one of the largest, carrying a few extra pounds, her face carrying a few extra lines she looks as old as Vivienne, older even, though she’s a few years younger. Loose and wavy copper red hair hangs down to her shoulders.

“Erm Oh Hello there I’m Mariam Gibson And I was 53 last week! I still am Ha ha Er Oh, yes I’ve been divorced for 6 years and I’ve been single the whole time. I don’t know where I would meet a new man at this point in my life So I Make my own fun” She smirks as the other’s react to her comment (one shouting, “Dildo city!”). Mariam remembers what she’s supposed to be saying, and finishes off with, “Oh I’ve been in the Women’s Institute for 9 years.” Then looks back along the line. “Should I try that again?”

We cut to Charley as she asks her first question. “So ladies you’re all a bit older, a bit ërougher round the edges’, and a bit posher, than we’re used to Our viewers may be wondering what brought you all here, together, today... ?”

We cut to a wide shot of the five women again, then cut from one to the other as they speak.

“I think we all say we joined the Institute to help people But, in reality, we joined for company” Begins Anita, clearly looking to lead the conversation.

“Because we were bored” Adds Mariam, from the other end of the line.

A chorus of “yes” from the others, and a “very bored”.

Vivienne notes that “We came for social interaction”

“Regular meetings Charity functions Fund raisers Running little campaigns” Says Anita, taking the conversation back.

“Helping immigrants Helping the homeless” Adds Gwyneth.

“Battered wives” Adds Vivienne,

“And friendship We all wanted to make friends” Adds Lysette, a little late to the conversation.

“I think that falls into the social interaction section!” Corrects Anita.

“It’s a good feeling to do good things for others” States Gwyneth.

“And obviously we were all friends” Says Lysette, adding, “But we weren’t close, were we?”

A few “No”s.

“There’s a lot of little groups within the Institute, but we were never one of them.” Confirms Anita. “I was friendly with Vivienne, but not the others And I think Gwyneth got on pretty well with Vivienne too” She pauses, then before anyone else can speak. “And I’ve known Lysette for years too”

Lysette looks happy to hear her name mentioned, smiling and nodding.

Anita continues, clearly the dominant force in the group. “Well, then this Covid business came along and suddenly we weren’t allowed to meet anymore And we all got very bored”

Vivienne chips in, looking almost tired of hearing Anita’s Irish accent, “So we set up a Zoom chat that was always active And all of the members could just pop in for chats here and there There are about 30 of us in total”

“So, we were all keeping up with what was going on Cheering each other up.” Says Anita.

“We were making sure no one felt like they were alone.” Adds Mariam.

“But after a while we had nothing to talk about because nothing was happening to any of us” Says Gwyneth.

“So the late night crew We nightowls We started being a little more risquÈ Talking about our husbands and what they liked to do Swapping stories about the porn the men were watching, that they thought we didn’t know about” Anita laughs.

Gwyneth adds, “Then we started talking about what we liked to watch Our fantasies and the like”

“Lesbians!” Says Lysette, not quite understanding that they’re not restarting that conversation at the moment, but reviewing their shared Zoom history

Gwyneth, “So we ended up telling everyone our naughtiest secrets What we’ve done The where’s the whos and the whens”

“Oh, “ interrupts Mariam, suddenly thinking of something to say, “What we’ve fantasized about That was an interesting chat”

“To be quite honest, it got a little titillating Which I liked” Adds Lysette.

Vivienne adds, “We started talking about how often we masturbate”

“And who’s got the biggest dildo!” Laughs Anita. Vivienne and Gwyneth both point at Mariam to indicate either that Mariam HAS the largest dildo, or that they assume she has.

“And then one of us said something about us all getting together for a lesbian orgy when this was all over” Says Gwyneth.

Lysette puts her hand up again, “That was me!” She laughs, rocking a little on her seat, clearly more excited and turned on than the others who still appear to be enjoying the talk as much as the expectation.

“And whilst we’re joking about the orgy - I’m watching tv, and UK of Zoo is on, and I ask, what we all think about beastiality” Says Mariam.

“And I said, I don’t even know what that is” Says Anita.

Gwyneth repeats, “I don’t even know what that is” in a piss-take tone, then adds, “So I sent her a clip One of the recent ones.”

“And I was stunned I’d never even heard of such a thing” Confirms Anita, with mock shock and a big smile, almost laughing from excitement.

“Then we shared it to all of the nightowls” Confirms Gwyneth.

“To be quite honest, it got a little titillating Which I liked” Adds Lysette, again.

Anita sounds off again, “We were all joking about it Who would, who should And then a few of us formed a little group The five of us and one other”

“Georgia” Adds Lysette, sharing information that obviously wasn’t supposed to be shared.

Vivienne tries to talk over her. “Who didn’t want to come on the show because she didn’t want anyone to know this turns her on!!”

Anita sighs, not liking it when she’s not the one doing the talking, she begins again, “We formed this little group, because we realised that we were doing most of the talking, and I think we knew there was a bit of interest there”

Mariam blurts, “So we all agreed that when the lockdown ended, and we could meet up again, if we were all alive... ! That we would talk about doing something Even if it was just talking more about it, face-to-face.”

“And then Gwyneth suggests we apply to be on the show As a group” Confirms Vivienne.

Lysette gives a little fist pump and a “Yay!” then stops when she realises no one else is ëcelebrating’ the decision to come on the show.

Charley finally gets a word in edgeways “So how do you all feel about bestiality?”

Vivienne looks at the others and gets ready to answer, but Anita goes first instead. “You know I saw it, and I was disgusted by it Filthy and dirty But it looked so carnal And my life isn’t exactly overflowing with sex these days So I thought I could carry on slowly into the grave, or I could just throw caution to the wind and try something different.”

Vivienne waits for her friend to finish, then answers, “I had watched your show before, and I have to confess I’d been a little jealous of the girls on the show But I never would have done anything by myself It was only when we all started joking about it, and we ended up talking about a doggy orgy, that I thought I can do this, with my friends around me, and feel totally safe, and if it all goes wrong at least I’ll have friends who shared the experience and we can all be in the same boat!”

We move onto Gwyneth. She shrugs. “Oh, I’m easy. I’ll do anything once It looks like it should be fun I’ve watched a few of your shows and the girls always seem to enjoy themselves” She looks to her side, to Lysette.

Smiling, she answers, “Well I just like sex I don’t mind admitting it Any kind of sex So, to have some fun with these girls And some dogs Who could say no, eh?”

At the end of the line, Mariam smiles, “Well, to be totally honest I’ve been fantasizing about it for years I said that online and I think that’s what brought us all here. I like to fantasize and play with my toys I’ve even got a Rocky dildo from your website So it was a no brainer for me!!”

Back to Charley. “Well ladies It’s almost time So if you’d like to get yourselves ready the sooner you are, the sooner we can get started”

The ladies begin to stand up, looking at each other for mutual security. Anita grinning as she begins to unbutton her blouse, showing off more and more of her cleavage big boobs trapped in a big lacy black bra, almost spilling over the top.

Vivienne’s blouse is already off. Boobs a good size, bit of a spare-tyre belly. She’s soft and pale, borderline not nice to see nude.

Gwyneth is peeling off her sweater, pulling her dark hair behind it, firm boobs looking just a little fake held in a sexy half-cup bra.

Lysette is already working on the zip of her jeans. Her top half stripped down - she’s slim, borderline skinny, and her small tits barely need the silky bra she’s still wearing. She’s having a good look around at the others as they strip.

On the end of the line, Mariam has her hands on the bottom of her sweater, but is delaying pulling the thing off for as long as possible, as she waits for everyone else to be exposed. Once she sees the first bra coming off she begins to pull the sweater up, revealing her solid body a little barrel-like - and a pair of soft tits held by a flimsy white bra.

Gwyneth’s boobs are the first to feel fresh air her unclipping the bra behind her back, and letting it fall off them. She’s confident about her chest - firm and round, perhaps fake, but not cheap bolt-ons like Charley’s. She gives her nipples a quick pinch, just to make sure they look their best.

Panning around the others, we see Vivienne and Anita have both removed their bras large boobs sagging like older woman’s boobs usually sag.

Lysette’s bra is off, and she’s fingering her nipples as she continues to look around at the others, a big smile of wonder on her face.

Then trousers and skirts are unzipped and removed five women exposing their panties Nice panties, even though the belly above them may be a little saggy, the buttocks a little fuller, thighs slightly dimpled Five middle-aged-bordering on old women almost naked, smiling nervous looking at each other Lysette especially looking at the others, impressed with the nudity. Clearly excited and definitely turned-on.

Anita takes charge, “Come on girls, knickers off!” and she grabs her panties, pulling them down her legs in one fast dive-in moment, flashing off freshly trimmed, dark pubic hair, then stepping out and spinning them on her finger.

The others follow her lead Vivienne’s pussy is also trimmed right back to virtually nothing, a little lost between largish thighs. Gwyneth’s pussy is shaved clean, smooth like her belly. Lysette has a little more than the others, thick but blondish. Finally, Mariam at the end of the line, a tuft of orange/ginger quite low over her pussy, a surprise tattoo just above it reads, “SLUT”. She keeps her hand infront of it as much as possible. Smiles nervously.

All naked now, embarrassed, nervous, smiling Waiting.

“Now ladies” Announces Charley. “It’s time to give you some special news”

The ladies all wait, hanging on Charley’s words.

“We said we were going to try and arrange a couple of dogs for you to share” The ladies all nod and confirm that this is what they had heard. “Well, we’ve done a little better than that So what we’ve actually arranged is Not two dogs Not three dogs But four dogs Four!” The ladies smiles broaden, there’s some clapping, a few cheers.

Charley continues. “But before we bring these lovely animals in We thought we’d let you all get warmed up” The ladies look a little nervous, except for Lysette who continues to smile, looking from one lady to the next. “So if you all want to get started We’ll bring the boys in once you’ve raised the temperature a bit”

There’s a short hesitation in the group then Lysette takes the opportunity she’s clearly been waiting for stepping toward Gwyneth, and putting her hands on either side of the taller woman’s face, pulling herself in closer and planting a kiss on her lips Gwyneth looks a little hesitant but automatically raises her hands the smaller woman’s almost flat chest, pressing her palms again the little boobs and squeezing

Taking Lysette’s lead, and not to be outdone, Anita steps toward Vivienne and leans in, taking a handful of saggy old boob, and planting her old lips onto Vivienne’s equally aged mouth. Vivienne responds with an open mouth releasing a fair amount of pent up sexual energy. The kiss is noisy and wet, as the ladies keep their mouths open so we can see tongues mashing against each other.

Mariam looks from one pair to the other, and decides (as most of our viewers would) to focus her attention on Gwyneth Stepping in and stooping a little to suck on those pointy dark nipples her hands squeezing the big boobs.

Lysette breaks off the kiss just long enough to tell Gwyneth, “I’ve been waiting to do that for years” Gwyneth looks a little surprised, but before she can say anything, Lysette has leaned back in and planted her mouth back lips to lips.

The two of them are suddenly interrupted by Anita stepping in front the side, easing Lysette’s mouth away from Gwyneth’s so that she can take her place, giggling as she kisses her. Lysette holds her head a few inches away, her mouth slightly open clearly waiting her turn to kiss again And once Anita has finished kissing Gwyneth, she gets her turn the old Irish battleaxe turning her mouth to the smaller woman and offering her tongue Which Lysette takes tongue to tongue, then lips to lips Eyes closed all round Older ladies having moist fun.

We enjoy a mini-montage of women kissing women, giggling and smiling, fondling boobs, squeezing arses Everyone having a turn. Anita being aggressive, Lysette being keen, Gwyneth being the focus of most of the attention, Mariam staying to the side as much as possible squeezing boobs, sucking nipples, but not kissing anyone.

Then we’ve got Gwyneth and Vivienne on their backs, side-by-side, with Anita ontop of Gwyneth, missionary style, still kissing the slim woman. Lysette is down between Vivienne’s thighs, her mouth already working the oldest girl’s pussy. Mariam behind them, watching on, her hand resting on Lysette’s little arse, rubbing gently, fingertips slowly straying into the crack and tickling her arsehole.

Positions change Lysette moves from one pussy to the next, smiling, then licking, reaching up to squeeze the lucky lady’s boob; the others avoid any eating any pussy, but enjoy swapping kisses and rubbing/holding each other’s boobs, then giggling, or breathing heavily in clear anticipation of the next kiss Joking, pausing, then kissing more Anita kissing Vivienne, then turning her head 90 degrees to kiss Gwyneth. Gwyneth then turning to kiss Vivienne, Lysette coming up from pussy for long enough to squeeze her head between them, tongue out to join them in a three-way-tongue-kiss

We’re not used to this kind of action not only lesbian group sex, but also older women in action together. No tight bodies, just one pair of firm boobs, the rest sagging (or in Lysette’s case simply not there).

All of this doesn’t take long because it’s just the warm-up, the prelude to the real action As the girls roll around on the floor, writhing together, a couple of their backs, the others on their knees, leaning forward over them, arses in the air, we pull back to see Charley standing back watching them.

She has her hands on her hips and is shuffling about looking a little amused. She notes the camera is on her and turns our way to say, “Old sluts They don’t even look like they’re having fun Urggghhh!” She sniggers. “I think we should bring in the dogs Give them something to get excited about!”

We cut to the door in time to see it crack open and a dog’s head appearing a German Pointer, his coat a mottled brown and white pattern, we haven’t seen him since series 4 it’s Samson, and he looks magnificent He’s followed immediately by a very familiar puppy Charley’s own Golden Retriever, Thor, bounding in. Then there’s a vicious looking muscle bound beast, Pitbull Randall, scrabbling across the parquet flooring, and finally the elegantly scary, sleek, black, mean ëmuvva’, Casanova (the Third), the Doberman who either scares or arouses all who see him.

Four dogs heading right to the body-pile and five very horny women quickly realising they have company. Rolling over and sitting up, smiling ten hands reaching out to grab and stroke at the freshly arrived hairy beasts Sixteen paws skidding and scraping on the floor. Women surrounding dogs, leaning into them, rubbing chests against backs, offering faces to them The dog’s licking at open mouths and tongues.

Anita, Vivienne and Mariam have fairly loose faces highlighted as various dogs lick at them, smooshing flesh, especially loose lips, around. Soft, wet old lady tongues pushed back by strong wide, dog tongues Gwyneth’s features are firmer not pushed around nearly as much by the dog’s tongues. Lysette seems more interested in leaning in to kiss her friends whenever the dog’s take a step backwards. Licking their lips as much as their tongues, slurping up dog-spit, and loving it. Allowing the dogs to lick her mouth only after she’s finished kissing each of her friends.