Chapter 6: Kiss kiss

Brian

Jaz came over the following afternoon, on her own. That was unusual, and so was her hesitant demeanour. She sat down next to me on the big sofa, where I was working on my laptop. She fixed me with unfamiliar nervous eyes: “Dad, can I talk to you about something?”

“Yes of course you can,” I smiled reassuringly, closing the laptop and putting it on the side table. This wasn’t like her at all.

“It’s ... I’m... “ she petered out.

“I’ll be on your side, whatever it is.” I tried to stop my imagination running away with me.

“It’s ... dreams I’ve had ... a couple of times...”

“Bad dreams?”

“Well, more, sexy kind of dreams.”

“Oh,” I was nonplussed. “Well that’s natural I suppose. Did they worry you?” I wondered whether girls have wet dreams? I’d have to look it up.

“It’s because...” she was looking down at the floor, “they were about me and a ... girl...”

“Oh, well...” I tried to get my head round it, “it might be a phase, but if it isn’t that’s not a problem, these days.”

“Of course it’s a problem!” This was still Jaz after all. “If I’m lez it instantly rules out half the world. And only ten percent of girls are gay at the most, so that’s another ninety percent!” She’d lifted her head to look accusingly at me.

“There must be, I don’t know, lesbian dating sites?” I suggested.

“Huh,” she scoffed, “can you even imagine how risky those’d be? And are you saying you’d actually let me go on one?”

“Oh no,” I backtracked, “not at your age. I was just thinking of the future, when you’re grown up, if there are any safe ones.”

“I’m grown up already obviously, that’s why I’ve been having these dreams in the first place.”

“Yes I see,” I was searching for a way forward for her. “Well why not explore it in the abstract, on the internet? There must be forums and so on for girls who have these dreams and feelings as you develop?”

“I’ve done that already.” Her tone had softened again.

“What did you find out?”

“The best thing, all the advice is, is to accept it: liking girls ... but also to see if you can like guys too. Cos if you can be bisexual then that’s the best of all, as obviously then you can choose partners from whoever not just one gender. So that turns it round and makes it actually better than being straight. You have the bi and lesbian women and all the bi and straight guys too, to pick from.”

“Sounds like reasonable advice,” I had to agree.

“So what you have to do, apparently, is find a male you feel really safe with, who won’t make a big deal out of it or something, or tell people, or mind if it doesn’t go that well ... and try a kiss, to see, if you can be bi and not just lez.”

“Oh.”

“So, I asked Mum, and she said she thought the best guy would be ... you.” She was looking hopefully into my eyes. “As obviously things can’t go wrong then. I can just try and see what a man feels like and then stop.”

“I see, “ I temporised. My mind flashed through the range of issues. It was weird. Not to say illegal and taboo, or taboo at least ... but just a kiss after all. She was needing not to be rejected. But this was Jaz - that meant she might be manipulating me, and also that if I refused she’d find some other guy. Perhaps I could kiss parentally while she kissed sexually?

She was wearing a jacket and a shirt and bra, and trousers, so I was reasonably safe from her skin. She was looking generally grown-up in fact: nicely made up and smelling grown-up too somehow...

“Alright,” I agreed, “just on the lips, so you can get an idea.”

“Oh thanks!” and she leaped on me. From the side, but it was enough to topple me over onto the sofa arm, that I hadn’t been right next to so I ended up with just my head on it. She’s not heavy but she is quite strong. In a moment she was more on top of me than next to me, her hands were on the sides of my head, round my ears, and her lips were on mine.

“MMMMmmmm,” she pressed her lips onto mine. I made myself not do anything while she had her experiment. She kissed my lips on and off, with different pressures, in different parts. Her weight rolled my shoulders over, followed by the rest of me, until I was on my back with her lying on top. This was getting out of hand. She was running her hands through my hair, kissing me on the end of my lips and then round below my left ear and onto my neck.

“Alright that’s enough,” I said. It made no difference. In fact if anything she was squirming around on me, and now trying to get her tongue in! If I spoke again she’d succeed, but luckily I’m five-eleven and reasonably fit, so I could push her right off, in desperation. And luckily Jaz is fit of course and just bounced as she landed on the carpet.

“Dad!” she complained, kneeling up.

“I think you’ve answered your question,” I smiled.

“I’d hardly got started.”

“Doesn’t that fact tell you what you wanted to know?”

“I was just experimenting, as to start with it didn’t feel especially one way or the other.”

“It felt one way on the receiving end! I think your next step is to wait a couple of years and just start dating a nice boy and see how it feels holding hands.”

“Holding hands?”

“That’s the way to start, then try a kiss perhaps, if that’s where it naturally leads.”

“Dad seriously. D’you think it’s still 2000?”

“Relationships have always been the same,” I explained. “So make sure there’s some natural chemistry, before you get into anything.”

Jaz

I relayed this ridiculous result to Lils, back in the annex.

“Oh, well done though,” she hugged me, “I mean you did get to kiss him.”

“Yes but not properly.” I gave her a proper kiss for a little while.

“It’s a start though,” she said when we’d finished.

“I suppose.” I stood there in the living room while she undressed me. The annex is pretty cool: downstairs is all one space with the kitchen, dining table and living area all together, and upstairs is the bedroom and shower but they only go over the kitchen bit, so the living room goes all the way up to the roof, and our new speakers sound great when we turn them up. Also there’s only a field behind not neighbours, and only Dad across the yard, which has a gate across so nobody comes into it. The windows face the yard too but they’re so small it’s quite gloomy inside and you can’t really see in, unless the lights are on and then we draw the curtains.

Dad’s stopped coming over, he just messages. So now I stood there while Lils took my clothes off. She was nude already, so when she’d finished I pulled her to me and we kissed and danced a bit to one of our favourite channels, which is mainly girls doing covers of rock classics. I was quite sexed up already, so it was delicious feeling her hands down my back and her bush on my thigh and her tits rubbing just under mine, while we swayed side to side.

“Yes it’s a start,” I agreed with her. Like this we can speak into each other’s ear so we can talk even with the music turned up. “So now we need the next step. He won’t let me kiss him again, I don’t think. I overdid it.”

“But he’s probably thinking about it and he might start to think it was actually quite nice.”

“He literally threw me off onto the floor.”

“Doesn’t that mean he was in a bit of a panic? Like, afraid he might get a huge erection that you’d’ve felt?” She was grinning at the idea.

“Mmmm,” I pulled on her hard little ass and kissed her neck. Everything turns her on but her neck turns her completely to jelly. She’s not only the most beautiful girl in the world, she’s probably the easiest to turn on. She rubbed herself against me even harder. We danced for a minute or two, winding each other up and up.

With me and Lils, we don’t ‘have sex’ as a separate thing, our whole time together is sex, to some extent or another. From time to time we actually cum, and Lils does it more often than me, but the main point is feeling sexy, the tingles and feelings of being so close and loving. And we feel those all the time, they just go up and down a bit.