The Falling Oak - Learning How to Die
Copyright© 2018 by Darian Wolfe
Chapter 63
Hello Everyone,
It’s been a minute, but I am Finally Free. I can go outside without worrying that I’ll cook. WHOOO HOOO! Due to Covid things have been kinda strange. Video conferences with my therapist and neurologists.
Is it good news, bad news, or no news? A little of each. my sweat glands gave an effort. I actually sweated a little. Not the way I should have been. But, it’s a start. I’ve spent a lot more time with my came because I’ll randomly start falling over. I’m scared of doing a header off my front steps so I’m very careful about using them.
Cognitively, I seem to be more off center. My family is saying that I’m doing weird things. I have no clue what they’re talking about my left arm not included. Why would I say that? My anxiety expresses as some paranoia (That’s cool we’re old friends. It’s a awesome friend to have in any form of Law enforcement. He’s kept me from a beating many a time.) My anxiety also expresses itself as random jerks in my body and it gives my left arm a kinda of life on its own. When I stress it will draw itself up by my shoulder and my fingers do this thing where they deform like I’ve had a stroke.
I was off my meds for about three days due to not having the money to get them. I wasn’t happy with the experience, My mental abilities regressed and the pain, I mean the real pain started coming back. What upset me is I discovered that without those pills my brain can’t function. So it’s not a matter of becoming normal again or any simulation of it. It is simply about functioning well enough not to shit my pants and no I don’t want to talk about it.
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