Chapter 59

4/19/20

Hello Everyone.

It’s been a crazy several weeks. It’s been a mix of good and bad. The pain has started building again. it’s not that intense usually. Two days ago, I sat in a darkened out room with sunglasses on because my light sensitivity was high. My sound sensitivity wasn’t far behind.

I’ve quit sleeping longer than two hours if I’m lucky enough to sleep for two hours. I’ve been spending a lot of nights dropping into small naps and having weird dreams or night terrors and snapping awake then within a minute or three going back to sleep. At times the cycle is so short I lose track as whether I’m awake or asleep. Everything is like waken reality even the night terrors.

My docs switched up my meds to help my memory and the change started this shit. I did real well the first week or so then blam. The worst part is in my calmer more sleep prone nights I’m usually still awake and aware I’m asleep. That’s not so bad. I can poke around in my head and do self inventory. The part of my mind that isn’t working right is getting larger.

Apparently, people will say things to me and I’ll not respond at all. Then a few minutes later I will respond and then ask questions about what They said to me. It goes like this: “Darian, we are going to Tony’s Friday.”

Me: dead silence. I haven’t heard them say anything. Several minutes later, me: “Are we going to Tony’s next week?”

Them: “I just told you five minutes ago we’re going this Friday.” Me: “No, you didn’t. Them: “Yes, I did.” Me: shrugs “I didn’t hear you. This Friday?” them: “Yes.” Me: “Let me write that down.”

Oops,

I want to write more but I’m hitting the barrier. If I go past it I pay in pain. So I’m stopping.

Cheers