Chapter 44: Staying 100

April 14th, 2019

Hello Everyone,

I know it’s been awhile since I updated and there’s a reason for it. I promised that I would keep this 100 and I just didn’t want to be 100. I didn’t want to be honest with myself much less you with some things that have been going on in my life. In some ways, I’ve been regressing and it scared me. I had a meltdown like the one at the bank at a restaurant. My wife had to tell the staff I have a medical condition. My mind has had moments where the fogginess has started creeping back in. The fogginess is nowhere near as bad as it was.

The fact is I was scared shitless. I thought I had a solid handle on this and apparently not. It took awhile for me to man up to it again. The pain and pressure has returned. Thankfully, it’s still so light I can usually ignore it and when I can’t it’s more like an owie from bumping into something that fades in a few minutes than an OMG SHOOT ME NOW! kind of pain. I now have Aphasia every day to varying degrees, but so far have managed to keep my job -Yay me! Usually, my voice lasts long enough to finish my work day then I have trouble speaking the rest of the day. Some times my voice says fuck it and goes on strike at 10:00 am. It’s a crap shoot every day.

What worries me is if I am regressing how long will it take before they start talking about a home again. Yes, I am a paranoid motherfucker. If you’ve read this whole blog and don’t know that by now I’ll let you borrow my shrink ‘cause you have issues. So that’s why I’ve been so quiet lately, other than the above things have been going pretty well, I’m still working on the story version of Learning Together II. I’ve got 16,154 words in the can and just completed scene 12/30.

Cheers,
Darian