The Falling Oak - Learning How to Die
Copyright© 2018 by Darian Wolfe
Chapter 30: Reflections
Dec. 22, 2018
I meant to write this yesterday but life disagreed. Instead, I got to see my grandchildren for awhile. I have little to share but that little is a lot. My mind is becoming quiet. I’ve caught myself working on plot points for stories without realizing I was doing it.
I do phone work and had to get off the phone yesterday because I started bawling my eyes out. A Hebrew song had started running through my mind and I was able to sing it. Passages and verses came in and out of focus. Not a deluge, just a trickle, but I’m starting to remember. I’m crying as I write this. I was never fluent in any language but knew bits and pieces of about six. I was working on learning Icelandic when I became ill. I can’t describe the happiness I felt to get something back.
In my reflections the last few days I noticed something about myself. I like/liked being the center of my families attention. I hadn’t noticed. When I looked I saw it and admitted it to myself. I felt lighter admitting it to myself. It’s ok to want attention. Now, I have to find better ways to get their attention. Lol. I guess growing up never ends.
Today, I was as relaxed as I have been for months. I want to say my pain level was dare I say it. Zero. I worked all day almost entirely symptom free. I completed three whole workdays this week. Which is awesome considering my record the last few months.
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