The Falling Oak - Learning How to Die
Copyright© 2018 by Darian Wolfe
Chapter 24: That Was Scary
Nov. 27th, 2018
Today, Aphasia kicked in so I FMLA’d and took a nap. When I woke up my right side from my face to my toes was numbish. I flipped. The only thing I could think was stroke. The only other thought I could think was “please let me die”, over and over again. I can’t manage if I lose the use of half my body on top of my other issues. I could still move, but I didn’t try to get my wife’s attention. She was in the other room. I was scared stupid, but If I was having a stroke I’d rather it kill me than adding another level of disability. I don’t want a life as a vegetable in a home.
On the Night Of Hell they thought I was having a stroke and gave me a shot that they charged me personally, not the insurance company because I don’t have any, me personally over $98,000 dollars for. That’s just for the medicine in the syringe. Not giving the shot, nothing else. I still owe $40,000 on that shot. A charity picked up the rest. I can’t add more medical bills to my family when I have no way to pay them and have no honest expectations of being around long enough to figure a way of doing it. I hope to be here, but I won’t swear to it like I would have prior to the NOH.
As I said, I was terrified and didn’t have anyone to turn to. It sucks to be in that situation and to be alone. Since I had resigned myself to my fate I decided to call upon Hel. Hel is the Norse Goddess of Death and the Underworld. She’s the daughter of Loki. I’ve always had respect for her since I learned that in the Eddas Odin had high praise for her respectfulness and character. It was he who gave her the Underworld. She is one of the three Goddess’s I venerate. They are: Freyja, sweet Sunna, and Hel.
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