Chapter 21: Carpet Ride From Hell

Nov. 17th 2018

Last night was uncool. As I have mentioned before, I am now subject to periods of madness which I lovingly refer to as reality being bendy. Last night I awoke in a state of full blown terror and internal reality was absolutely bendy. Back in the day, I’ve done things they say make LSD look like bathwater in comparison and last night it was full speed ahead welcome to hell.

Normally, I have for lack of a better words an anchor. I know which way is up so to speak. Not this time, I was drowning. None of my normal tricks like telling myself this is just a trip was working. I was losing my grip. I was scared I was going to start doing crazy shit like running in traffic or killing goblins disguised as my family members in the real world. I was free falling in the madness.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve practiced various forms of Magick throughout my life. Since my illness, I have leaned heavily into the myth and culture of my Ancestors. I’ve also restarted some of my magickal practices. It suits me and I find comfort in it. The reason I mention this is I wear for magickal reasons a bracelet. I was wearing it last night. Call it further delirium, or what you will, but I called out to it mentally and was instantly oriented. I was still on the carpet ride and absolutely terrified, but I was anchored.