Chapter 18: Date Night

Nov. 9th 2018

Last night was date night with the missus. We had dinner at an Italian place as part of a club she’s a member of. It went pretty well. At one point, she laid her head on my shoulder which hasn’t happened for awhile. My Aphasia disappeared for awhile so I was able to talk with people. I was known for witty one liners and last night I was in full swing and kept my table laughing. It was nice. I started to get the shakes so I got to do the rocking thing. I swear I’m going to get a job as one of those toy drinking birds.

We’ve decided I’m going to start carrying a sensory kit. Ear plugs and things like that because too many different sounds overwhelm me. I was okay until the restraunt staff brought thirty more people into our area then I was drowning from the input. It was rather weird because my brain was trying to follow each and every source of sound at the same time rather than blending them into background noise. The ones I remember before I gave up and put in the ear plugs were:

1. The guy running the business portion of the meeting.
2. The person standing next to him quietly asking him about something.
3. The couple sitting on the other side of the waist high wall directly behind me talking.
4. My wife and the person directly across the table from me talking.
5. Two people talking at the table directly across from me.
6. A small child at that table talking.
7. Two distinct conversations I could hear from the large group at the long table across the aisle from me.
8. The loud music coming from the ceiling speakers.

My brain was trying to listen to each one of those at the same time as if they were the only conversation happening. I started rocking faster. I can only rock so fast lol. So I put in the damn earplugs before I had a melt down. I did do it so smoothly my wife didn’t see me do it. She saw I had them in and asked me in the car when I put them in.

The downside of getting overstimulated is I pay for it later. This morning I woke up able to talk for about an hour then went into Aphasia that has lasted about all day. But Damnit, I’m tired of staying in my hole. I’ve been in here almost 24/7 all summer. I want to live. I can go outside now. It’s in the 40’s and I don’t even need a jacket. Now, if it gets much colder I will. I did bend the knee a bit and put on long pants instead of shorts.

My oldest girl’s husband is having a birthday tonight. So I’m out again. After this, I’ll really need a few days to rest I’ll only be able to stay an hour or so, but I’m going. What’s the use of breathing if you’re not living?