Chapter 7: A Waiting Game

September 2, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

“How did you leave things with her?” Sensei Jim asked when I called him on Saturday evening.

“There wasn’t much said after that. We had our meal and I drove home.”

“Do you think she’ll pull Marcia from the dojo?”

“I can’t imagine Marcia standing for that,” I said. “But she’s only sixteen, so Mrs. Ingles could force the issue. I’m sorry.”

“I wondered if this might happen someday. I do need to ask you a VERY important question.”

“The answer to that one is an unequivocal ‘no’. My relationship with Marcia is purely as her sensei, nothing more. I’m very careful about such things, and I treat the dojo as I do my company in that regard. No inappropriate relationships. Not to mention the fact that Marcia is sixteen, which makes her underage.”

“You wouldn’t be the first karate instructor to make that mistake.”

I HAD made that mistake, so to speak, years before and I would never make it again. The situation with Jacquelyn was far different from the one with Marcia, and I was VERY different from what I’d been seven years earlier. I HAD made a mistake, in hindsight, of agreeing to go to dinner with them after the incident at Medici, but that wasn’t something I was going to reveal because I STILL wasn’t entirely sure whose foot it was.

“Sensei, nothing happened between me and Marcia. She hasn’t flirted with me. Do you remember Angelique?”

“Sure.”

“She flirted with me. And that’s why I had Will or Therese work with her.”

“Sorry, I just had to make sure. When I speak to Mrs. Ingles I don’t want to get caught unawares.”

“I totally understand. That’s why I’m not objecting to your questioning.”

“Do you think she might pull out of the tournament?”

“I’m not sure what Mrs. Ingles is going to do,” I said. “As I said, Marcia defended me, at least a bit, by pointing out to her mom that her dad was a cad. You know my situation; we’ve talked about it at length. Everything which happens with my relationships is above board and Kara and Jessica are fully aware of everything.”

I paused, and continued, “What are you going to do?”

“For now? Wait to hear from Mrs. Ingles. If she makes a big stink, I’m not sure there is anything I CAN do except let her pull Marcia from the dojo. You haven’t violated any dojo rules, nor done anything which would warrant a suspension or any kind of discipline. That said, I have to mention something I wasn’t going to bring up.”

“«Shihan» Hiro’s granddaughter? I guess Robert-san told you about that?”

“It certainly calls into question your judgment.”

“Does it? If all you know is she and I became very close, then you don’t know that SHE is the one responsible for the sea-change in my life. Yes, the monk Yoshiro helped. Yes, the five weeks in mostly quiet contemplation helped. But Sakurako was the key to shedding my old ways of thinking. If you’re worried about «Shihan» Hideki, don’t be. He came to me and asked if I had any claims to Sakurako before he proposed.”

“That happened during your last trip?”

“Yes. And all of it had the blessing of Emiko, «Shihan» Hiro’s wife. Remember, Sensei, Japanese sensibilities are NOT American sensibilities. And, yes, my wives know all about that.”

“Let’s keep that to ourselves.”

“I’m not the one talking about it,” I said.

Sensei Jim grunted, “True. I’ll speak to Robert-san.”

“So, what do you want me to do?”

“Stick to the plans. I planned to be at DePaul to watch the matches tomorrow. If Mrs. Ingles calls, I’ll call you.”

“Thank you, Sensei.”

“See you tomorrow.”

We hung up and I went to be with my wives in the ‘Indian’ room.

“What’s going on?” Jessica asked.

“Sorry for simply kissing you when I arrived home and going straight to my study. I needed to talk to Sensei Jim about Marcia’s mom. We’re afraid she’s going to pull Marcia from the dojo.”

“What?! Why?”

“Mrs. Ingles thought Kara and I were divorced and on good terms. She found out the truth tonight during the conversation and said she didn’t think I was a good role model for young people.”

“No way!” Kara protested. “And she’s going to make Marcia quit?”

“That’s the implication of what she said. I called Sensei Jim to make sure he wasn’t blindsided. And it’s a damned good thing I have my rules in place for the dojo. He asked about Marcia and me and I could be completely truthful and state the rule I have in place.”

“And Jacqui?” Jessica asked.

“Ancient history, and a very different circumstance. And unless one of the two of you talk, there’s no way for him to find out. He did, on the other hand, ask me about Sakurako. It seems Robert-san took it upon himself to tell Sensei Jim about it.”

“Uh-oh.”

“I pointed out that Hideki was aware and asked me if I had any claims on Sakurako before he proposed, and that Emiko, Sakurako’s grandmother, was fully aware. I also pointed out that Sakurako was the key to the significant changes that occurred from those two trips.”

“What is he going to do?”

“Nothing at the moment. He said I hadn’t done anything which would warrant a suspension or any other punishment. But he also said he’d been worried that something like this might come up.”

“So now what?” Kara asked.

“Hopefully Marcia will show up tomorrow to compete. I can’t do anything about it if she doesn’t. In the future, I think I need to modify my rule about the dojo, and that is no outside relationships with anyone at the dojo who is under eighteen. In other words, I should have turned down the dinner invitation from Jillian and Marcia.”

“But how will that fix it?” Jessica asked.

“Neither Jillian nor Marcia knew the details about my relationships and made some assumptions which fit the social norms. Had I not gone out with them, it’s highly unlikely they would have discovered the reality of the situation. Nobody is gossiping at the dojo. Really, only Therese, Jolene, and Sensei Jim know the full details. I’m pretty sure that Will just thinks I’m a ‘player’!”

Kara laughed, “What every teenage boy wishes he could be! But I think that’s probably the best plan.”

“And just deal with any fallout as it occurs?” Jessica asked.

“Yes. Hopefully, if Jillian does decide to force Marcia to withdraw, she won’t make a public stink about it.”

“And if she does?” Kara asked.

“Then it may come down to me not being able to work with teenagers or younger kids.”

“That’s terrible! Those are exactly the ones who need someone like you as a mentor!”

“And something which frightens their parents so much that they’ll do anything they can to keep their kids away from me.”

“Society is doomed,” Kara sighed.

“I know,” I agreed.

“How’s Molly?”

“Still thoroughly confused about the answers to my questions. That said, I’m pretty sure she’s NOT confused about one thing.”

Jessica laughed, “No surprise there! You just kind of knocked her off balance with all the philosophy. You know, you didn’t say how the tournament was going.”

“Both Marcia and Ted won all their initial bouts today and did well in kata. There’s also a girl from Indiana who I think is a threat to win. It really should come down to the three of them, assuming Marcia’s allowed to continue. But enough of that. Did you two wives have plans for tonight?”

“I’m sure a big, strong man such as you could simply have his way with two poor, innocent, defenseless women!”

“There is NO person on this planet who would believe either of you are innocent OR defenseless!” I chuckled, even as they moved towards me.

September 3, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

“So, what will you do if she doesn’t show up?” Molly asked at breakfast on Sunday morning.

“There really isn’t much I CAN do. She’s a minor and it’s totally up to her mom what happens.”

“It seems to me it would hurt your kid WAY more to force them to drop out of the tournament and leave the dojo than be exposed to your unconventional lifestyle!”

“I agree,” I said. “Society doesn’t. Prudes like my mom and Kara’s former pastor and her deceased father are winning. And it’s only going to get worse.”

“I’m curious, what do you think the age of consent should be?”

“Fourteen or fifteen,” I said. “I was fourteen my first time and I absolutely consented!”

Molly laughed, “I’m not sure you could find a fourteen-year-old boy who WOULDN’T want to have sex!”

“I’m sure they exist,” I said. “But my point is, it should be up to the person. It’s basic bodily autonomy.”

“And that’s how you deal with it with your kids? Even the girls?”

“I don’t buy the stupid idea that boys are ‘studs’ and girls are ‘sluts’. You’ve only been with too many people if YOU think you’ve been with too many people! It’s nobody else’s business.”

“Would you let your kids have sex in your house?”

“Don’t you think that’s a better idea than having them sneak around? I want them to practice safe sex and use birth control. That calls for open, frank discussions. We’re already having them.”

“Your oldest is what, nine?”

“Yes. But the time to start those discussions is as soon as they figure out that boys and girls have different body parts. Our kids know the basic details, at an age appropriate level. And that includes my four-year-old daughter.”

“My dad would have had a COW if he’d thought I was having sex!”

I laughed, “My mom DID have a cow because I was having sex.”

“And that’s what Marcia’s mom is afraid of?”

“I think Marcia’s mom is afraid her daughter will believe it’s OK to have sex and want to have sex.”

“With you?”

“With anyone. I’m a bad influence, even if I’m not the one, so to speak. And she’s underage and there is no way in hell I’m taking THAT risk in Illinois. Not to mention the fact that she’s a student at the dojo.”

“Shall we head to DePaul and see what’s what?”

I paid for breakfast, left a tip, and Molly and I headed to DePaul where I was VERY happy to see Marcia, though she was obviously unhappy. Jillian gave me a death stare, which I simply ignored, and walked into the competitors’ room. Marcia followed a moment later.

“Mom and I had a HUGE fight,” Marcia said.

“You’re here, so I guess you won?”

“Sort of. She relented on this because it’d already started.”

“And the dojo?”

“She’s going to talk to Sensei Jim on Tuesday. I think she wants him to fire you, or whatever.”

“I’m not an employee,” I said. “And I haven’t broken any dojo rules, nor violated any of the precepts. As for my belt, he didn’t confer that, and he can’t take it away. She’s welcome to call «Shihan» Hideki in Japan if she wants, though it’ll be tough because he speaks no English.”

“Then she says she’ll make me quit, but there’s no way I’m going to quit!”

“You’re only sixteen,” I said. “She CAN make you and there isn’t anything Sensei Jim or I can do about that.”

Marcia frowned, realizing that what I said was true.

“Just focus on the tournament,” I continued. “That’s the most important thing you have to worry about today.”

“I guess,” she said.

I was worried about her focus, and my concerns were born out in her very first match. She lost the first round 3-0 and her opponent scored with strikes that never should have landed. During the brief rest period between rounds, I pulled her aside.

“Marcia, remember what I said - the most important thing you can do right now is win the tournament. THAT is the best weapon you have against your mom. You need to focus or you’re going to lose.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” I said. “You’re doing this for YOU. On that mat, and in that ring, the only person who can defeat you is you. Remember the fourth through sixth precepts of the nijū kun: Mentality over technique; The heart must be set free; and Calamity springs from carelessness.“

Marcia nodded and walked back to her spot on the mat. She did better, but lost 3-2. She walked off the mat in tears, and I was livid. I saw Sensei Jim and he shook his head, but I ignored him and made straight for Jillian Ingles.

“I sincerely hope you’re happy with yourself,” I growled. “YOU caused that with your small-mindedness! She was destined to win, and because of YOU, she didn’t even make the finals! Frankly, I’m disgusted. I have NO time for holier-than-thou moralizing, especially when it hurts someone as badly as you just hurt your daughter! I suspect you’re going to find you’ve ruined your relationship with her, and nothing you’ll be able to do will fix it. I hope you’re happy with yourself. Good day!”

I turned on my heel and stalked away. I made for the doors to the field house, and when I was outside, turned left and walked a short distance away. I took a deep breath and let it out, and felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Intemperate,” Sensei Jim said.

“Oh, I know,” I replied with a small sigh. “I’m more angry with myself than anything at the moment. I’m sorry I didn’t heed your head shake.”

“This is neither approval nor license, but I’m not sure I could have refrained, were I in your position.”

“Which changes nothing about what I just did, and the behavior I just modeled for Marcia. And anyone who heard me speak to her mom.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I need to apologize to Mrs. Ingles, Marcia, and Sensei Ichirou,” I said.

“If you know that, there isn’t much else I need to say. You are right, though. That defeat can be laid at Mrs. Ingles’ feet and I suspect things between her and Marcia are going to be more than a bit frosty.”

“What do you think she’ll do?”

“At this point? Who knows. Go make your apologies.”

I nodded and walked back into the field house. I saw Marcia and her mom engaged in an animated conversation which I was sure was unpleasant. I weighed whether I should interrupt, and decided I should. I walked over to them.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Ingles?” I said.

“What do YOU want?” she asked angrily.

“To apologize for the way I spoke to you. It wasn’t befitting my rank nor basic common courtesy.”

“What!” Marcia gasped. “Don’t apologize to her!”

“Whatever else happened,” I said gently, “I had no right to speak to your mom in anger. I need to apologize to you, as well. My behavior did not reflect that of a proper sensei, and I should have talked to you when you came off the mat instead of storming off. I’m truly sorry for my behavior. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go speak to the organizer and apologize to him.”

I bowed slightly and walked over to where Sensei Ichirou and Ailea were standing.

“Steve-san, what happened?”

“I behaved badly,” I said. “Please forgive my intemperate words to my student’s mother and my rude behavior in walking out of the building. I shouldn’t have done either of those things.”

“You were obviously upset and you are a very passionate young man. I accept your apology. Now, tell me what happened.”

“Mrs. Ingles threatened to remove Marcia from the tournament and the dojo because she doesn’t approve of some things about my life.”

“You have not behaved inappropriately with your student, have you?”

I shook my head, and saw the corner of Ailea’s lip turn up, but fortunately her grandfather couldn’t see her.

“No. It’s something in my private life which she discovered last night. You know, I’m sure, that I have an unconventional situation at home.”

“Sensei Jim has mentioned that, but with no details. According to him, though, it has no impact on the dojo or your status as an instructor.”

“That’s correct.”

“Then it is none of my business. I assume your student was very upset by what her mother said and lost her focus.”

“Yes. And then I compounded the problem by confronting her mother in public. I lost my cool.”

“Even the most level-headed of men can lose their cool when confronted with a serious injustice. Self-control in such situations is difficult, but it is something we must work to achieve.”

I nodded, “I know. I even quoted the proper precepts to Marcia just before her bout - Mentality over technique and Calamity springs from carelessness. I simply didn’t follow the precepts myself.”

“If you know your mistake, and how to fix it, then the battle is mostly won.”

“Thank you for accepting my apology.”

“Go to your «shihan»,” he replied.

I bowed and walked back to where Sensei Jim was standing, about ten paces away.

“Now what?” I asked.

“We stay and pay our respects to the winners.”

“I meant with Marcia and the dojo.”

“All we can do is wait. It’s up to Mrs. Ingles what happens next.”

“And my position?”

“Is secure. Your private life is not my business.”

“And the question about Japan?” I asked with a slight smile.

“If you have the temerity to try to tell me that what happened with «Shihan» Hiro’s granddaughter did not have the potential to severely impact the school, you and I will spar, despite Doctor Barton’s orders! And without any protective gear!”

“You’re right, of course, Sensei,” I nodded, and allowed myself the briefest of smiles.

I looked around the gym and didn’t see either Marcia or her mom, and assumed they had left. I was thoroughly frustrated and really wanted to go home, but I knew Sensei Jim was correct about us staying, especially given that I’d stormed out after Marcia’s loss.

I begged off lunch with Molly and ate with Sensei Jim instead, then returned for the final rounds. It came down to Lydia and Ted, and I wasn’t surprised when Lydia beat Ted 3-2, 3-2 to claim the overall championship. Marcia won the kata competition, but she wasn’t there to receive her trophy, so I accepted it on her behalf.

“Go home, relax, and don’t obsess about this,” Sensei Jim said. “And do NOT call or try to see Marcia or her mom. We’ll deal with whatever happens on Tuesday if necessary.”