Chapter 55: Dancing to Dante’s Tune

June 10, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“What exactly am I looking at?” Deborah asked.

We were sitting in her office with the door shut, because the conversation was one I couldn’t risk Penny overhearing.

“A list of all the women who work for NIKA who I’ve been intimate with, either before they worked here or after they started. That’s the before/after/both note.”

“You’re serious?!”

“Deadly.”

“Why show me this?”

“Because you need to know the full story if you’re going to be my attorney. Jamie knows because of those past incidents he discussed with you - Kaitlin and Mikela. And I’m sure he talked to you about Dave and Julia, and Elyse and me. And maybe Michelle and me, though she doesn’t work here now. By the way, Jamie does NOT have that complete list and he is NEVER to have it.”

“Why?”

“He’d quit. If you notice, there is one current employee who I was with after the Mikela incident and after everything blew up with Penny and Terry. Did Jamie fill you in?”

“The barest of details, but I know about the ‘Gang of Four’ and Terry’s affairs.”

“Good. I had asked Jamie to fill you in, and I’m glad he did.”

“First off, I find it amusing that neither Kaitlin nor Mikela are on this list. And those were the two you paid to go away!”

I chuckled, “Yeah, I know. They came on to me and I wasn’t interested. Well, I didn’t take them up on their offers is probably the best way to put that.”

“Was Tasha married?” she asked as she scanned the list.

I shook my head, “No. And if you look at the last name on the list, she’s not here yet. She’ll start her internship in August.”

Deborah shook her head, “This is, frankly, unreal. None of them are angry or upset or anything?”

“No. Talk to Charlie. She’s the ringleader of The Club.”

“The Club?”

“The Club of Steve’s Girls. Let’s just say Mikela would never have been able to make anything stick when they testified she was after me and I was a saint.”

“They’d perjure themselves?”

“Is the Pope Catholic?”

“Well, my first thought is NOBODY is that good! But actually, that was my second. My first was a concern that it was a job requirement.”

“Not even close,” I said. “There was never any quid pro quo, and in a number of cases, once it looked as if I might hire someone, I gave them the option. In every case, they decided they’d rather work for me than sleep with me.”

“So maybe that answers my second question,” Deborah said with a rueful smile.

“Feel free to ask. None of them will pull any punches or mince words. Nor will any of them deny it, at least in private. Actually, they might, at first, so they could check with me or Charlie.”

“Bizarre. And the policies?”

“I chose, on a few occasions, to violate them in my own best interest. But, and this is VERY important, each and every one of those girls came to me. Not the other way around.”

“It’s your eyes,” Deborah said, shaking her head. “Even for ME they have that effect.”

“Confirming my suspicions.”

“What?”

“You play for the other team,” I grinned. “Just as Jennifer, the mother of my eldest son does.”

“You have a son with a lesbian woman?”

“My Junior High and High School girlfriend who spent a good dozen years figuring out her sexuality. I was along for that ride. Well, probably it’s best described as a demolition derby. Anyway, she’s married, not legally, mind you, to her partner Josie and they live in a coach house on my property in Hyde Park. My son lives with them as his two moms.”

“Can this get any more bizarre?”

“Probably,” I chuckled. “Did you read all the names carefully?”

“Holy shit!” she gasped. “You were with Dave’s wife?”

“In college. Before they started dating. The list is basically in order. And Dave knows. Terry knew about Penny and me before they married. And he and I are good friends. And, just to show you it IS more bizarre, Jamie knows I was with HIS wife before they got serious.”

“Now I’m looking for Rod Serling because this is the Twilight Zone! Or maybe Allen Funt!”

“No hidden cameras in this room, I promise.”

“This room?”

“There are obvious cameras for the security system. There are also several hidden ones which go to a separate recorder hidden in a locked cabinet in Elyse’s office. Only Elyse, Kimmy, Eve, and now you, know about it. It’s a defense against someone knowing the other system and defeating it. You know about the break-ins, right?”

“Yes. Jamie told me about those, too. He doesn’t know about the extra cameras?”

“No. I trust him implicitly, but we had a leak from Allen & Baker back during the BLS buyout, so I don’t fully trust everyone there.”

“Interesting. That partially explains you wanting in-house counsel. Why is Eve’s name highlighted?”

“I was going to get to that. Other than Eve and my wives, nobody knows about that. Not Elyse and not Charlie. Nobody. Not Jamie. And it HAS to stay that way. It ended in May, but there are reasons it has to stay completely secret.”

“So why tell me?”

“Trust. Either I trust you or I don’t.”

“But not Jamie?”

“Not after he threatened to quit if I hired Claire or Jodie. Not by name, but by a statement that if I hired anyone I’d had sex with or had sex with anyone who worked here, he’d quit, and Allen & Baker would drop us.”

“So why trust me that way? What if I were to quit over this?”

“Call it a gut feeling. Sometimes I have to go with that. But everything from your interview on has told me it was the right call. I waited a week to make sure my gut wasn’t off. I don’t think it was.”

“I can’t believe how long this list is. Most guys don’t get anywhere near this!”

I chuckled, “True confession time. That list is MAYBE 15% of the total list.”

“NO! FUCKING! WAY!” she gasped, then quickly recovered. “Uh, sorry, that was unprofessional.”

“It’s OK. My ears aren’t virgin, either.”

“Cute!” she said with a laugh, but then became deadly serious. “Wait! You hired me because I’m a lesbian, didn’t you?!”

“So I was right!” I grinned. “My gut wins again!”

“Yes, yes, you’re very smart!”

“You’re a Princess Bride fan?”

“Isn’t anyone who has even the slightest sense of humor?”

“Well, yes, of course.”

“So, back to my question. DID you hire me because I’m a lesbian?”

“Call it a ‘nice to have’. I was sure I wanted to hire you before I figured that out.”

“You’re not one of those idiots who thinks that an application of his ‘magic member’ will suddenly turn me into a penis-worshiping straight girl, are you?”

I chuckled, “‘Magic member’? That’s rich! But no, I don’t think that. I’ve had sex with several lesbians and none of them have turned straight! I told you I had a kid with one. The usual way.”

“You’re right, it is even more bizarre.”

“Think of it this way - when you bring your girlfriend to company gatherings, it’ll send a message loud and clear.”

“And nobody is going to give me shi ... crap about it?”

“Only if they want to lose their job on the spot. There are two things I do not tolerate - stupidity and intolerance. Beyond that? Do your job and I wouldn’t care if you were a green-haired, purple-skinned, four-armed, six-breasted, Martian hermaphrodite!”

“Now THERE’S an image,” Deborah laughed. “And someone you could literally tell to go screw themselves! Uh, sorry.”

“Apologize again and I’m going to write you up! Save the decorum for court or when you put on your lawyer hat, unless you’re with me, in which case I expect you to speak freely, be blunt, and swear like my sailor friends, if that’s the way you want to speak.”

“This is my first adult job, well, not counting the internships, but I don’t think you’re anything like most bosses.”

“I’d say I’m like zero bosses! And now that we have the easy stuff out of the way, I have a few more things to share with you.”

“You’re joking, right?”

I shook my head, “Let me tell you about the FBI, the Chicago Outfit, the CPD, and for good measure, a pair of dead lawyers.”

An hour later, I finished telling her everything EXCEPT my personal interactions with the South Side Outfit and Don Anthony.

“Espionage? Russians? A Mob law firm? Crooked Aldermen? Two murdered lawyers? I don’t even know what to say.”

“Welcome to Crazy Town, better known to my friends as Cirque du Steve.”

“Who knows all this?”

“Elyse. Jamie knows most of it. Eve knows part of it. Others know bits and pieces.”

“I think I understand why you have that pistol under your arm all the time.”

“Nobody at NIKA has ever been threatened,” I said gently. “This is about me personally because some two-bit hoods know who’s in charge.”

“Because of that Glass woman you helped cut a deal for?”

“That’s a part of it. Her dad is a personal friend, and he’s also helped me with several real estate deals, AND lets me invest in some REITs which are very lucrative. Oh, and he has a skybox at the United Center.”

“Unreal. But don’t you have a black belt in karate?”

“Yes. And if you’re ten feet away with a gun drawn, I’m dead before I can get to you. Two totally different types of self-defense. My goal is never to have to use either of them.”

“You’ve never used your karate?”

“Twice, once, or no times, depending on how you look at it. Once someone took a couple of swings at me and after I blocked them and warned him what would happen next, he took another swing. I blocked it and broke his nose. The other time was during my karate training in Japan. Three of my fellow karate practitioners took exception to a round-eye being an instructor in their traditional Japanese school. They learned the error of their ways.”

“Why did you say two, one, or none?”

“In neither case was my life in danger. I could have blocked punches from the kid fifteen years ago all day until he was too tired to throw any more. I just was annoyed that he’d called a young woman I still love very much a skank, among other things.”

“A broken nose probably wasn’t sufficient.”

“We agree. Others didn’t. As for Japan, you could call it advanced training and fellowship.”

“You’re funny.”

“That wasn’t meant to be funny. I bonded tightly with those guys after that. Well, after one of them tried a cheap shot later that day during sparring and I illegally punched him in the nuts.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, but he’s a friend now. Sometimes it’s like that. So, now that you’re fully read in, are you going to stay?”

“Are you kidding?” she laughed. “As a first-year associate at a law firm, I’d have to bill at least 2000 hours and I’d be doing grunt work on boring cases. THIS is actually going to be fun.”

I chuckled, “You may be the first person in history to refer to Cirque du Steve as ‘fun’!”

“I don’t believe that!”

“And you shouldn’t, but ‘crazy’ is the watchword here.”

“In all seriousness, I took this job because I hoped it would be interesting, not depend on billable hours, and maybe a little fun. It seems I was right. Any other secrets to share?”

“All kidding aside?” I asked with a smirk. “I actually AM that good.”

June 15, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“Happy anniversary!” I exclaimed when Kara, Jessica, and I walked into Italian Village on Saturday evening.

“Happy anniversary,” Jessica added, “and thanks for making this at 8:00pm so I could attend.”

“Your slave-driving boss has you working your fingers to the bone!” Kathy teased.

“I chose these hours because that means I get to sleep with my husband and my wife every night!”

“I don’t think it’s sleeping that you’re concerned about!” Kathy teased. “And thanks for the anniversary wishes.”

Tom and Bethany arrived a few minutes later, and then we were seated. We placed our drink orders, including a bottle of champagne, and when the drinks arrived, we toasted Kathy and Kurt.

“Eleven years into your life sentence, Kurt!” I grinned. “Happy anniversary!”

“If this is prison, I’m not going to complain!” he laughed.

“Not if he wants his nookie tonight, he’s not!” Kathy teased, causing the rest of us to laugh.

“Hey, the warden is a gorgeous redhead, so what’s to complain about?” Jessica teased. “And it gives a different meaning to calling them ‘screws’!”

Everyone laughed hard.

“Speaking of gorgeous redheads, what are you doing this Summer, Kathy?” Tom asked.

“I have two sessions of Summer school, and I’m doing a bit of tutoring to help a couple of kids who struggled last year. We’re trying our best to avoid holding kids back AND avoid social promotion, but it’s tough.”

“You’re in a pretty good school district in Oak Park, right?”

“Yes, but good schools or bad, if the parents don’t accept responsibility for their kids’ education, it makes our jobs ten times harder. Too many parents think responsibility lies solely with the schools and teachers, and that’s just not true. You can tell which parents care by the homework. That’s not a hundred percent accurate barometer, but it’s close. Kids with involved parents just do better homework. I bet all your kids do.”

“If they want to live,” I chuckled. “With five master’s or doctoral degrees at the compound, education is a bit of a priority!”

“Do you make him call you Doctor now, Kara?” Bethany teased.

“No! And now I don’t have to PLAY doctor! I am one!”

Everyone laughed hard, drawing stares from others in the restaurant despite our private booth.

“You aren’t THAT kind of doctor!” I protested.

“Careful, Snuggle Bear, or I’ll perform an operation you’ll regret!”

I smirked, “More like one YOU’LL regret!”

“Are you and Kurt doing anything special tonight?” Bethany asked Kathy with a silly grin.

“Just dinner with all you turkeys and then wild sex! Or what amounts to wild sex when you’re in your thirties and have three kids in the house who seem on a mission to prevent it!”

“Your daughters are Birgit’s friends,” I chuckled. “They won’t care! And Keith should be sleeping through the nights by now.”

“He is. It’s nice to be able to be back in something of a regular sleep cycle!”

“And suggesting you’re old?” Tom asked.

“You men age SO much better. You get distinguished. We get old!”

“I don’t see a SINGLE woman around this table I wouldn’t classify as a ‘10’,” I declared.

“If Kara is an ‘18’!” Bethany laughed.

“Not true, and you know it!”

“He only ever has one complaint,” Kurt laughed. “And it’s like a broken record!”

“Hey, at least I’m consistent!”

Everyone laughed again, and the waiter came to take our food orders. We had a very nice meal, a wonderful dessert, and after wishing our friends ‘Happy anniversary’ once more, we all left the restaurant to head home.

June 16, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

On Sunday morning, Kara and I walked Jessica to the hospital.

“Do you have ANY idea what she wants?” Jessica asked as we walked along Woodlawn.

“All I have are clues, which could be accurate or could be red herrings. She named him Nathaniel Stephen, which in our naming tradition implies he’s my son. She asked me to be his godfather, even though I’m not Orthodox, which implies she wants me to be part of his life. But she’s steadfastly refused to say anything to me, Melissa, or anyone else that I’m aware of, about what she wants me to do.”

“Weird.”

“All I can do is wait and see.”

“Is Maria Cristina going to be at the house when I get home?”

“That was the plan we made before she left. We only got that one postcard she sent to Kara a week ago, so we don’t know if anything’s changed.”

“Did you talk to Mary Whittaker about August?”

“Yes. She’s OK with Maria Cristina observing. Granted, she’s not a medical student but Mary will make an exception. She cleared it with Doctor Ross and Doctor Alston.”

“You’ll stay overnight?”

“Yes. I had Barney book two adjoining rooms.”

“I think you’re being too cautious,” Kara said with a silly smile. “I think the first night Maria Cristina spends here will be VERY exciting.”

“I wouldn’t count on that,” Jessica said. “I bet you anything Tiger is on a much longer timeframe than she is.”

“I think you might win that bet, Babe,” I said. “The closest parallel I can draw from experience is Penny and the way we worked up to it. And I think that makes the most sense. But we’ll see. And remember what we discussed about her privacy. If she chooses to share with you, that’s fine, but I’m going to let her know it isn’t required.”

“I’m still not entirely happy with that answer,” Kara groused.

“I still say our husband has a very, very good point,” Jessica said firmly. “And if our relationship with Maria Cristina is good, we’ll know what we need to know.”

“I don’t want her to get the idea that it’s all about titillation,” I added. “If she thinks I run to you with stories about what we’ve done to excite you, or whatever, it’ll hurt her badly.”

“I suppose,” Kara said.

When we arrived at the hospital, we hugged and kissed Jessica as usual, and then Kara and I started on our way home.

“Is sex getting boring?” I asked casually.

“Why would you ask THAT?” Kara recoiled.

“It’s just the way you’re dealing with Maria Cristina. You know, vicariously reliving your wild teenage years!”

Kara laughed, “It wasn’t that wild at first! That started later!”

“Oh, I don’t know. Losing your virginity in your childhood bed in your parents’ house seems pretty wild for a good evangelical Christian girl!”

“Who was a good evangelical Christian girl? I was dreaming of fucking you from the second you sat down next to me in chemistry class!”

“Using that word?” I teased.

“Well, no,” Kara said with a soft laugh. “But the word isn’t nearly as important as the act! And once you started teasing me about putting your tongue in me, I was ready to have you just throw me down on the floor and do it in front of the whole class!”

“Now THAT would be a story to tell Birgit,” I teased.