Chapter 42: The Birgit Factor

March 13, 1996, Chicago, Illinois

“I’d be very interested in hearing Jon’s reaction to THIS news,” Elyse said.

“It would only confirm his opinion that gun ownership ought to be more tightly controlled. But it does point out that this isn’t a uniquely American problem.”

“What do you think will happen?”

“I don’t know enough about Scottish or UK law to say, and I think a lot will depend on what the circumstances were. It sure sounds as if some random lunatic walked into the school in Dunblane and started shooting. Short of banning guns, I don’t know how you prevent that, and even that isn’t effective unless you can confiscate ALL of them including the ones held by criminals. Chicago’s handgun ban sure didn’t prevent Wen from being shot!”

“So you think that might happen? Gun confiscation?”

“I don’t know what the incidence of gun ownership is in Scotland, but if you tried that here, you’d end up with a lot of dead law enforcement officers. And that assumes such a complete ban would pass muster. Unfortunately, the courts are treating the Second Amendment like some sort of inferior right, when it stands BEFORE things like warrant requirements and protections against self-incrimination.”

“So what would you do?”

“That question is actually part of the real problem,” I said. “Something bad happens and people clamor for the government to ‘do something’, and from that we get some of the dumbest laws with the most perverse effects. I’m not saying there is nothing to be done, but the FIRST reaction should not be ‘do something’. The first reaction should be to find out what happened, then, if warranted, take small, incremental steps, targeted very directly at the specific issue, without infringing on the rights of law-abiding citizens.”

“So in this case?”

“We wait to find out why it happened, assuming we can find out. And then address the root causes. Sadly, politicians, and a good chunk of the public, want easy, simplistic solutions, of which there are exactly zero. Well, assuming you believe the individual is over the state, and not vice versa.”

“Which rant is that?” Elyse inquired.

“I’d say #8, though it’s not specifically on target. Maybe I need to add a new one - When the public demands ‘something be done’ politicians implement simplistic solutions which always have perverse effects.”

“That would be #21, right? There are only twenty on the list.”

“Correct.”

“Is everything set for Friday?”

“Yes. Are you going to have Eduardo stay for the weekend to help you, Jennifer, and Josie?”

“He gets home from Buenos Aires late Friday night. He’ll come to the house on Saturday.”

“Sounds good.”

March 16, 1996, Apple Orchard Bed-and-Breakfast near Montpelier, Vermont

When Kara, Jessica, and I went down to breakfast on Saturday morning, we were met by a daughter with hands on her hips and an icy glare.

“You missed cuddle time!” she said accusingly.

“I stayed in bed asleep with your moms!” I protested. “We’re on vacation!”

“I got up at my normal time! You’re late for breakfast!”

“And what about your Aunts and Uncles?”

“They’re still in bed!”

“So why are you giving ME a hard time?” I asked, knowing the answer.

“Because you never sleep late! We cuddle before everyone gets up!”

“Not this weekend, Pumpkin. I need time with your moms.”

She rolled her eyes, turned, and headed back towards the kitchen.

“Can you imagine what it’s going to be like for whichever boy she marries?” Kara whispered.

“Or being one of her kids?” Jessica asked, also sotto voce.

“Nah,” I said. “The hands on hips, icy glare is usually reserved for Dad and Dad alone! The only time either of you ever got it was when you interrupted her when she was talking to Felipe!”

“She and I had words about that one,” Kara said. “And I got the cold shoulder for a week! You get the hands on hips and the icy glare and she’s right back ready to cuddle you!”

“Shall we go see what Katy has for us for breakfast?”

We walked into the kitchen and greeted Katy and Amy with hugs, then sat down at the table. Katy had bacon, ham, eggs, waffles, and toast, with locally produced maple syrup in a brown jug. Despite the sour look on Jessica’s face, I took a quarter of a waffle, slathered it with butter, and poured enough maple syrup to drown a small animal, plus some bacon and eggs.

“I NEVER do this at home, Babe,” I said in self-defense. “I’ll split and carry wood when we’re done eating to work it off.”

“You know that’s not sufficient, Tiger.”

“Consider this my weekly dessert,” I said.

“And the maple ice cream you had last night when we got here? And you’ll have tonight?”

“Jess,” Kara teased, “we’ll just have to make sure he works it ALL off!”

“You two are insatiable!” Bethany laughed, coming into the kitchen with Tom.

“What’s ‘in-say-shu-bul’, Aunt Bethany?” Birgit asked.

ALL the adults in the room laughed, hard.

“Yes, Sweetheart, what is it?” I prompted through my laughter.

“It means you like kissing so much you never want to stop! Like your mom!”

“Not just her!” Amy smirked, giving Katy a quick kiss, causing even more laughter.

“I think EVERYONE in this room likes kissing!” I laughed. “Well, except Birgit who has a few years to go before she can kiss!”

“That’s for sure!” Kathy added, as she and Kurt came into the kitchen. “What did we miss?”

“Birgit asking what ‘insatiable’ meant!” I grinned.

“Kara! Her picture is next to the word in the dictionary!”

“And that’s a problem?” Kara asked primly.

“No!” I said quickly, valuing my life far too much to delay answering.

“Smart man,” Kurt said, clapping my shoulder. “What’s the plan for the day?”

“My wife thinks we need to spend all day in bed because I had ice cream last night and a quarter of a waffle this morning.”

“I wonder if that works on ALL wives?” Kurt asked with a smirk.

“I don’t think ANY of the women in this room need ANY encouragement!” Tom laughed. “And no, that is NOT a complaint!”

“It better not be, Buster!” Bethany said menacingly, but then turned to my daughter and softened her voice, “Birgit honey, please don’t use that word at school. Your teachers would NOT understand!”

“I KNOW, Aunt Bethany!” Birgit said impatiently, and I could HEAR her eyes roll so far back in her head that I was sure they’d turned white.

“Now you see why Katy feeds us in the kitchen and not the main dining room,” I chuckled.

“Oh, there’s plenty of sex that goes on in this place!” Amy laughed. “We have several regulars like that lawyer from New York who brings his mistress here. One day I want to do a special promotion where I send a flyer with their picture to the lawyer’s house, addressed to Mrs. Lawyer!”

“That might not be the wisest idea,” I grinned, “Poking the bear often has bad results! And the last thing you want is a reputation that you invade people’s privacy.”

“But still ... cheating.”

“Is between him and his girlfriend and his wife, however he chooses to manage it. If she were your friend, it might be different, but she’s your ‘total stranger’.”

Katy laughed, “You and your ‘Darmok’ style of speech! Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard 3, right?”

“Very good! You win a cookie!” I said, affecting a certain speech pattern.

“Don Rickles in Kelly’s Heroes!” Tom laughed. “One of my all-time favorite movies.”

“Same here,” I said. “I love the theme song, too. Burning Bridges by The Mike Curb Congregation.”

That song had spoken to me sixteen years previously, when I’d foolishly allowed Becky to hug and kiss me, and royally pissed off my Sweetheart. Of course, four months later I had crossed an even bigger line, and only by the grace of whatever power ran this universe did I have Kara sitting to my right, and her daughter across the table giving me icy stares for missing ‘cuddle’ time.

“How can we help you, Katy?” I asked when the thought had passed.

“The usual. Split and stack wood, make repairs, and generally do a ‘Spring cleaning’.”

“I’ll take the repairs,” Tom said. “What needs fixing?”

“A door that doesn’t close properly, a leaky faucet, and some rails on the fence out back.”

“Kurt?” Tom asked.

“I’ll lend a hand. Steve, will you take logging duty?”

“As I have every time I’ve been here,” I grinned.

“What needs cleaning?” Kara asked.

“Everything, top to bottom. You guys have half the rooms, so we’ll do those first, and the others on Monday morning when the other guests leave. Nobody is checking in until late Monday afternoon, so we have time.”

We all ate breakfast, I took ten minutes to cuddle Birgit to get out of her doghouse, and then went out to the shed to begin splitting logs for the fire. About two hours later, Katy came out with two steaming mugs of hard Apple cider.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

“Very well, actually.”

“Jessica seems like a changed person.”

“She is. She’s finally discovered there is more to the universe than Jessica Lee Adams, MD. And now when she’s unhappy, it’s because she’s away from us, not because she’s with us. How are you and Amy?”

“Things are very, very good. Davey is so much fun, but it sure changed the dynamic!”

“Kids will do that. I take it you’re adjusting?”

“Now that he only wakes up once in the night, yes. It wasn’t too bad because Amy and I switched who got up to change and feed him when he was waking up every two hours.”

“I know business is good because you send me monthly reports. How’s your Sheriff friend?”

“Good. He’ll probably be by for dinner tomorrow. We really enjoy his company. He’ll likely bring his wife and daughter. We have a private meal after the guests have eaten, but you’re all welcome to join us if you want.”

“Whatever you want, Katy!” I grinned.

“Are you serious about that?” she asked.

I let go of the handle of the log-splitter and turned to face her.

“If you’re implying what I think you’re implying, we’d need to have a long talk, and Amy would have to be part of that talk.”

“Well, you didn’t say ‘no’ which Jessica thought you might. Kara was unsure.”

“You talked with my wives first?”

“Do I look like an idiot?” Katy laughed. “You and I don’t talk about stuff like that since Amy and I got together. I had no idea what the situation was!”

I smiled, “You’ve caught me in a transitional period.”

“If you tell me you’re going to ‘walk the earth’, I’ll smack you!”

“Nah, I already did that when I went to Japan and spent five weeks communing with nature and the «kami» in Oguni. And while I didn’t see any ‘according to Hoyle’ miracles, it was a life-changing experience.”

“That’s what Kara said. She also said Michelle moved out. You neglected to tell me that.”

“I assumed Birgit would have told you.”

“She didn’t.”

“Interesting. But yes, Melissa did move out. In the end, I couldn’t give her what she truly wanted.”

“A baby? I thought she went through in utero!”

“She did, but what she wanted was me, as her husband. Exclusively.”

“Seriously?”

“Think about the situation she encountered when she came back from the monastery. Jess was estranged from us, and Elyse and I ended our physical relationship because of Eduardo. Nearly everyone thought Jessica would divorce me, which Michelle saw as her chance. That didn’t happen, and then I continued my dalliances, though not nearly as many as before. In fact, there was a long period when I had none. But Michelle couldn’t deal with me having ANY.”

“As if THAT was going to happen!” Katy laughed.

“You might be surprised.”

“Oh? Jessica and Kara didn’t say anything about that!”

“It’s a work in progress. I’m not vowing to have no dalliances ever, but we’re working on a more or less permanent, long-term third. As I said, I won’t vow zero new dalliances, but any that occur would have to be very carefully considered before they happened.”

“New dalliances?”

“There are two or three girls from the past who might get a pass,” I grinned. “I just didn’t expect you to be one of them. What changed?”

“Nothing, actually. I still love you more than any man I’ve ever known. And you were a better lover than any man I ever had; not that I’ve had all that many.”

“Words which would warm any man’s heart. But what about your agreement with Amy?”

“Do you remember what I told you about my sexuality?”

“Of course. You needed a woman for emotional fulfillment, and the sex was good, but you also enjoyed being with a man on occasion.”

“A man. One very specific man. Amy and I have talked a lot, about both our needs, and our desires. You know she’s completely and totally lesbian. She has never been with a guy and has no desire to be with a guy. None. As she tells it, she knew when she was twelve that she was gay and has never even kissed a guy.”

“She withstood the social pressure better than Jennifer did, I guess.”

“Not really. She got the same kind of pressure and came out to her parents at fourteen. They were beside themselves and couldn’t deal with it. She moved in with a friend who had understanding parents. The friend was straight, by the way.”

“What IS it with people?” I sighed. “The message from so many people is, literally, ‘conform or die’. Jennifer’s dad and Josie’s parents FINALLY came around, but you know my mom’s take on that one.”

“The same as my mom’s. She barely acknowledges Amy when she’s here and, according to my little sister, had a hissy fit about Amy and me adopting Davey.”

“Oh, I have no doubt. She and my mom were cut from the same moralistic cloth. So what happened to the exclusivity agreement?”

“Before I brought Amy to bed, I told her about my needs and desires, and our agreement was that if I ever felt that way, I’d talk to her and we’d figure it out.”

“You know my concerns, right?”

“That it would mess things up between me and Amy? That Amy isn’t truly OK with it? In other words, your usual set of objections to people in relationships.”

“Ones I violated with you,” I said.

“Nothing could have saved that marriage, Steve. I didn’t know it at the time, obviously, but it was true. I suppose the best way to put it is that I didn’t admit the truth to myself when I got engaged. Maybe if I’d found another truly bi-sexual girl back then...”

“Don’t play the ‘What if?’ game, Katy! You’ll drive yourself nuts!”

“Oh, I know,” Katy said with a slight hitch in her voice. “And the thing is, in the end, I would have neglected you. You’d have simply accepted it, but it wouldn’t have been right. I know how hard you worked to make a true trio, and you’ve finally achieved it. But I don’t think that’s something I could have done because of who I am.”

“But you want to make love with me?”

Katy laughed softly and shook her head, “Only Steve Adams would call it that!”

“What else could it ever be between us? You still love me. I still love you. But you love Amy more. A lot more.”

“I do. She’s soft and cuddly!”

“That is NOT why you love her more, Katy O’Connor!”’

“No, but it doesn’t change the fact that she IS soft and cuddly.”

“I cuddle!” I protested.

“Strong, muscular arms, and a powerful body are VERY different. I do believe you agree with me on what you like to cuddle!”

“Me!” Birgit said, coming into the shed. “Mom says lunch is in fifteen minutes!”

“OK, Pumpkin. Let me finish talking to Katy and then we’ll be in.”

She left, and I turned back to load another log onto the splitter.

“Pint-sized humans aside, I like soft and cuddly just as much as you do!”

“She’s getting so big! I remember when she was born!”

“Me too! You feed them and water them and they grow! It’ll happen to Davey, too!”

“I know,” she said with a smile.

“Katy, here’s the question for you. I don’t need an answer right now, but you do need to answer me truthfully and from your heart. Will Amy be OK with you and me making love? Not fucking; making love. And meaning it? Think about it. Discuss it with her if you need to.”

“Have I told you lately that you’re a good man?”

“I’d say this conversation made that clear. And you know I’ve always thought you were a wonderful woman, cute freckles and all!”

“You STILL think that’s my best feature!”

“No, that’s your personality. The freckles just enhance that! Not to mention the lovely green eyes, the trim figure, and amazing breasts!”

Katy laughed, “Only Steve Adams, who has seen Cindi Spanos naked hundreds of times, would call my breasts ‘amazing’!”

“You know hers never did anything for me.”

“Literally!” Katy teased. “You never did get together with her. And that was HER loss!”

I chuckled, “I don’t think she sees it that way!”

“Of course not! How’s her fireman?”

“He’s apparently as adept at starting fires as he is at putting them out! The same goes for Bethany’s paramedic!”

“Cindi’s not married, though, right?”

“At some point, probably soon, they’ll run off to a JP. Chris is still being a jerk about William, but Cindi has Chris pretty well boxed in with the custody and visitation orders.”

“We should go in.”

I nodded and stacked the last set of split logs against the wall of the shed, then followed Katy inside. I wanted a chance to speak to Amy, even if briefly, before she and Katy talked, because I felt Amy might have one important misconception. I got my chance when Katy excused herself to use the washroom after lunch was finished. I quietly took Amy aside into the small pantry area.

“Katy talked to me and there’s something I wanted to say before she talks to you again.”

“But...”

I held up my hand, “Hang on. What I want you to consider is this: Katy’s request is very specifically for me, not just being with a man. So this isn’t a situation where you agree because you’d rather it be me than some other guy. It’ll never be some other guy. That’s all I wanted to say, and you should talk to Katy. OK?”

Amy smiled and nodded, and we got back to the kitchen before Katy came back from the bathroom. We helped clean up from lunch, and then my wives and I decided to take a walk at my suggestion.

“She talked to you?” Kara asked, once we were away from the bed-and-breakfast.