Chapter 15: A Frightening Discovery

October 13, 1995, Denver, Colorado

“I’ll have the Denver Omelet,” Megan said.

“And I’ll have bacon, scrambled eggs, and strawberries. No toast or potatoes, please.”

“Coffee?” the waitress asked.

We both nodded and after writing down our orders on her pad, she went to turn them in. About a minute later, she was back with our coffees.

“So, how have you been for the past twenty-five years?” Megan asked.

I laughed, “It’s a long story!”

“No kidding! And a very small world. Do your parents still have Dalmatians?”

“No. The last time we had a dog was when we lived in California. We didn’t take Lady or Princess with us when we moved to Tucson. They went to live with my dad’s friend, Ken Dugan, who had a small ranch in the Malibu hills.”

“Can you even imagine what that would be worth today?”

“Probably about as much as the five acres on Long Island my dad’s parents owned, but sold right before the Great Depression.”

“So much for the family fortune, eh?”

“I really can’t complain. You?”

“I’m comfortable, but California is so damned expensive. I’m making WAY more than I did as a prosecutor, but my standard of living has only gone up a bit compared to the nominal salary.”

“If I understand the FJF partnership, you’ll be VERY happy when the profit sharing and bonuses are paid out.”

“Which aren’t guaranteed, obviously. And yes, they will make a HUGE difference!”

“Just you?”

“I never had time for a family,” she said. “Between college, law school, and work, I never found the time to get serious enough. You?”

“I got married the December after I graduated from college, ten years ago.”

“OK, and I hope our long relationship means it’s OK to ask, but are the rumors true?”

I laughed, “Long relationship? Nice. There’s a twenty-five-year gap! But yes, pretty much anything the attorneys at FJF have told you is likely to be true.”

“And here I thought California was ‘out there’!” she laughed.

I shrugged, “I was born there, remember?”

“True. So why did you guys move from the desert?”

“The commute into LA was too much for my dad, even though he only made it twice a week. We ended up in Palos Verdes Estates. He moved us to the desert originally because of all the issues in Watts and the Manson murders. I take it your family stayed in Indio?”

“Yes. My dad has been the general manager of the Shields Date Gardens for nearly twenty years now. You remember the ‘Date Festival’, right?”

“Sure.”

“I won the Queen Scheherazade scholarship my Senior year in High School. It helped pay for college.”

“So now we’re going to spend 1001 nights with you stopping the story just as it gets interesting?” I chuckled.

“I believe you’re already married, so trying to get you to fall in love with me would be a VERY bad plan!”

I nodded, “Though you do certainly fit the story as one of the most beautiful women in the land!”

Megan laughed, “Thanks. Normally, flattery would get you EVERYWHERE, but the last thing I’m going to do is be the ‘other’ woman.”

“That’s usually not a good life plan,” I agreed. “Though ‘EVERYWHERE’ is very enticing!”

She laughed, “I have a type and you fit it. Well, minus the multiple wives and a pile of kids issues!”

“Of course, minus those! And you fit my type as well. I have a VERY soft spot for gorgeous redheads.”

“I’m not sure if ‘soft’ is a compliment!” she teased.

I laughed hard, “Good point.”

The waitress brought our breakfast and set everything before us, then refilled our coffee cups.

“So why did Ben invite you to the User Group?”

“To get to know you better and forge a good working relationship for our technology practice. He figured it was better here than in LA.”

I grinned, “Fewer tongues to wag. I have something of a reputation.”

“Yes, you do!”

“So, what’s your plan?”

“To develop relationships with technology firms, as well as businesses which need legal assistance with technology, and even do a bit of civil and criminal defense work. Long-term, I’ll open our office in Silicon Valley. I expect we’d be in San Jose, but it could be anywhere in the general vicinity.”

“So you’ll move to the Bay Area, then?”

“And see my real income go into the toilet!” she laughed. “Though if we engage a couple of big tech firms, the bonus will help make up the difference. If you think LA is bad...”

“I have a good friend who works for Sun Microsystems. She’s constantly bitching about how much it costs to live here, but they pay her a princely, or ‘princessly’, I guess, sum, so it’s not so bad.”

“What does she do there?”

“She’s a software engineer. But I do have another friend who works at Sun as a manager. He’s a former professor and mentor who left Illinois to work for Sun about ten years ago.”

“I wouldn’t mind an introduction,” she said.

“Done.”

“Thanks.”

We finished our breakfast and I went back upstairs to put on my suit for my ‘keynote’ presentation, then headed to the conference room where I’d be giving my speech.

“Who’s the smoking hot redhead?” Cindi asked when I walked up to her.

“If you actually paid attention to our customers, you’d know,” I teased.

“Like you, I have to delegate! Who is she?”

“Megan Burch from Ford, Jackson, and Finch. They brought her in to start a technology practice. Eventually she’ll set up shop in San Jose or somewhere around there. She’ll be working closely with us.”

Cindi laughed, “I BET she will!”

“You know my rules, Ms. Spanos! And even though I’m her ‘type’, she’s not interested in being the ‘other’ woman. Something about me being married and having a pile of kids, not to mention a reputation!”

“Maybe she’ll decide to test that!” Cindi teased. “I know I want to test it!”

“Go ask Stuart for permission,” I said smugly.

“You are just no fun!” she growled.

“So says Penny all the time,” I chuckled.

“At least SHE got you!”

“You should have taken me up on the offer back when Elyse and I had our apartment together.”

“Who knew you’d get all moralistic on me?” she complained.

“You’re reading back into that, Cindi,” I said gently. “Before you hated Chris, you decided it would be wrong to cheat on him.”

“You know, I hate you!” she laughed.

“My usual lament when one of you girls made a legitimate point about my behavior.”

“Ready for your presentation?”

“Ben approved, so yes.”

Her eyes narrowed, “He told you?”

“I knew. And you know me, I won’t complain when you’re doing something for my good and for the good of NIKA. If Ben didn’t approve of something, I’d be very reticent to say it. They may not be our biggest client, but they are our most important. That’s a relationship I’m not going to mess up under any circumstances.”

“Maybe your new friend will make that part of the deal!” Cindi teased.

“New friend? I’ve known her since first grade!”

“Huh? How is this the first I’m hearing of her?”

I laughed, “Because until yesterday, I hadn’t seen her since first grade in Indio, California. I didn’t recognize her, but she remembered me because she was at my sixth birthday party at our house in Bermuda Dunes.”

“There you go! A good fuck for old-time’s sake!”

“Or not! Shall we take our places?”

Cindi nodded, and we walked to our seats, where we were joined by Julia, Elyse, and Ben. Kimmy, as usual, stood just to the side of the dais to handle any issues which might arise, and I saw Barbara, Mario, and Zeke walking towards us. Marnie was with them, and joined Kimmy to assist her. Once everyone was seated at the dais, Ben went to the podium and called the meeting to order.

Everything went according to plan, and my speech was short, but well-received. Elyse and Cindi did their usual presentations, and then Mario, Barbara, and Zeke each gave a brief update for their regions. The last presentation was the one which everyone REALLY wanted to hear, and that was Julia speaking about our upcoming releases. She’d also do a panel discussion with Cindi, Kajri, Skye, Mario, and Zeke after lunch, a session which was always well-attended.

Once the main session concluded, I did my usual disappearing act, sitting in a small conference room adjacent to where the main sessions were being held.

“Do you need anything, Mr. Ad ... Steve?” Marnie asked, standing in the doorway.

“No. I have my tea, my laptop, and a phone line, so I’m good.”

“OK. Kimmy told me to check on you and provide you with anything you needed! So, if you need anything, anything at all, just ask!”

I nodded, “I will. Thanks.”

She left, and I let out the suppressed laugh, wondering exactly what Kimmy, who could be a real troublemaker, had said to Marnie. I wasn’t going to take the bait, and wasn’t even going tease. The careful teasing with Megan had been right on the edge, but she seemed to be not only OK with it, but understood the situation well enough that we couldn’t get ourselves into any REAL trouble. The same might not be true for a nineteen-year-old temp.

I only left my room for a brief walk, lunch, and Julia’s panel discussion. For that, I did as I usually did, sat in the furthest back corner and did my best to be inconspicuous. My goal was simply to judge the reaction of the lawyers, doctors, office managers, and IT support staff who were peppering my team with questions about current and future technology.

Once that presentation ended, I went back to the small conference room, where I was joined by Kimmy, who had finished her work for the day.

“Just what did you say to Marnie?” I asked.

“Who? Me?” Kimmy laughed.

“Yes, you!”

“Just that keeping the boss happy was our number-one priority. And that you rewarded ‘going above and beyond’!”

“With the correct tone of voice implying allowing me to take her on this table?”

“Or back to your room!” Kimmy laughed. “But I know you too well. And you simply sent her away with a thank you!”

“I did,” I grinned. “You know I only have eyes for you!”

Kimmy smiled, but then became serious, “Invite me to your room tonight. Please?”

“As much as I want to, you know why I can’t do that,” I said.

“Because of Gary?”

“And because you work for me. You helped write the policy!”

“Yes, but it’s not as if we haven’t done it before.”

“You weren’t married,” I said. “And that’s a bright line I cannot cross. How could I look Gary in the eyes at company outings or at parties at my house? You have a husband and a baby to worry about. I do not want to wreck anything!”

Kimmy let out a long sigh, “It was so wonderful. I just wish things had been different.”

“You helped me more than I can possibly repay,” I said. “And I see that twinkle in your eye!”

Kimmy smiled, “Wonderful memories. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

I shook my head, “Don’t be. I have the same wonderful memories. But we both made choices which led us to where we are, and I am VERY happy to have someone I trust working with me the way you do. I hope we work together for a long time to come.”

“Me, too,” she said. “Is there ANYTHING I can do for you?”

I smirked, “Under other circumstances, I’d say send Marnie to my room, but that is NOT what I need. If you want, you can join Elyse, Cindi, and me for drinks in my room later. But you have to promise to go to your own room to sleep.”

“Deal!” she said with a bright smile.

October 14, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

“I was a bit surprised you invited Kimmy to your room for drinks with us last night,” Elyse said as we headed home from the airport.

“She and I both know where the line is,” I said. “And you know I won’t cross that one for good reason.”

“She would; in a heartbeat.”

“She said as much. Call her joining us a reward for agreeing with me it can’t happen. She did offer me Marnie, though!”

Elyse laughed, “If you had a choice, it would have been Megan. You simply can’t resist a redhead!”

“A CERTAIN redhead!” I chuckled. “Though Megan hits the ‘sweet spot’, so to speak. She’s also a flirt, but her rules and my rules line up quite nicely.”

“So no Marnie?”

“What do you take me for?” I asked in mock offense.

“A guy who is an expert lover and who has a real thing for the eighteen-to-twenty-year olds! Marnie wasn’t exactly your type, but she’d do in a pinch!”

“In a pinch?” I laughed. “I am NOT that bad. At least not at this point in my life.”

“Which makes me feel better about ultimately moving out.”

“You know my feelings on that, but I count myself quite lucky to have had the extra years.”

“Extra years?”

“Come on, Elyse! You know darn well if it wasn’t for me needing you, you would have moved out of the city YEARS ago.”

“Not just me; your boys need you as well. You’ll have solid relationships with them before I move, and I will make damned sure they see you regularly. I already talked to Eduardo about the Sunday family dinners, and he’s agreed we should be there. All four of us.”

“He should be at those more regularly now,” I said. “You know he’s welcome at the house anytime!”

“He travels a lot, and to not lose a day, he often travels on Sundays. It’s a long flight to Buenos Aires or São Paulo. Did I tell you he has to go to Bogotá?”

“No. I’m not sure you could pay me enough to do that!”

“No kidding! I’m not happy he’s going there, but what can you do?”

“Not much if business dictates it; well, unless you want to give up on the business.”

We arrived home just in time for lunch, which was only possible because we’d taken an early flight out of Denver. Birgit, Stephie, and Ashley greeted us at the back door, though the boys didn’t see us until we called them for lunch.

“They’re becoming VERY independent,” Elyse said quietly.

“It’s a point of honor with them now to simply act nonchalant when we come home!”

“Men!” Kara laughed. “Even at their age, they’re becoming men!”

“They take after their dad,” Michelle said. “And that’s not a bad thing.”

“Oh really?” Kara asked with a soft laugh. “You condone them acting like ‘Men’?”

“Yes, of course! They SHOULD act like men! And I know for a fact you very much enjoy when Steve is a ‘Man’!”

“Perhaps,” Kara said primly.

“Mommy likes sex with Dad!” Birgit giggled.

“Yes, she does!” Kara laughed.

“And so do I!” Jessica agreed.

“Me, too!” Michelle said.

“I USED to!” Elyse added.

“Now you just have sex with Eduardo!” Birgit exclaimed. “I like him! He’s really nice.”

“Yes, he is.”

“How old do I have to be to have sex?” Birgit asked.

“Well, it’s really up to you,” Kara replied. “But you absolutely have to have your period first. We can talk about it.”

“OK.”

I stifled a sigh of relief. Birgit was only seven, and we were getting into dangerous territory. Not because I didn’t think she should make informed decisions, but those decisions really needed to be at least seven or eight years in the future.

October 15, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

“You’re struggling again?” Kara asked on Sunday morning, when she, Jess, Michelle, and I were in the sauna.

“Yes,” I replied with a sigh.

“You’ve been having dalliances again?” Michelle asked warily.

“Yes.”

“But why?”

“That’s the question I’m asking myself almost constantly.”

“I thought you’d changed,” she said, sounding sad.

“He HAS changed,” Jessica said. “All of us have. His visit to Japan fundamentally changed who he is, but he’s not completely different from the man he was. He’s more mature, more confident, more deliberate, and, generally drama-free.”

“He’s not wired for monogamy, Michelle,” Kara said gently. “He never was, and he isn’t now. One of the things we accepted when we agreed to marry Steve was that he’d have what we called ‘dalliances’, probably for the rest of his life. They’re far more limited now, and he’s much more discerning. And he has some strict rules to keep thing under control.”

Michelle shook her head, “I think he COULD be faithful, if he wanted to.”

“Michelle,” I said gently, “what is the Latin word for ‘faithful’?”

“Fideles.”

“And what is ‘fidelity’?”

“Faithfulness would be circular,” she said with a smile, “so being true to your word or your calling.”

“And he is,” Kara said. “He made NO commitments to only having sex with Jessica and me. In fact, if he had, YOU wouldn’t be able to have him. Are YOU prepared to give him up? If not, then how can you object to his dalliances?”

Michelle was quiet for a moment, “I guess, even after all these years, I still don’t understand how anyone can accept it.”

“How do YOU accept it?” Jessica asked. “And before you answer, his current confusion is YOUR doing.”

“Mine?”

“Yes, yours. Even Doctor Mercer has come to the conclusion that the best path for Steve is to have what he’s called ‘proper’ love affairs. What that means is open to a bit of interpretation. You’re the only one who’s pressuring him to stop, and it’s confusing him.”

“Jess,” I said gently. “I’m responsible for my own actions, including my confusion. Do you know what I wondered? It was whether or not I could handle being alone in a hotel room for a night. And, as I’ve thought about that, I realize just how silly it was! I was alone for most of the time in Japan and it was good for me! I was looking for something to blame for my own decisions, and that is just as wrong as you blaming Michelle for my confusion.

“It’s not Michelle’s fault, at all. She has an opinion, and she’s free to express it just as you and Kara are. Honestly, it should be a given for all of you that you are free to express yourselves as you best see fit. And that includes pointing out the inconsistencies in other people’s thinking. In fact, you’re not just free to do that, it’s part and parcel of being part of Cirque du Steve. It’s what we do.

“When that happens, it’s up to the person with the inconsistencies to work out a solution. I’ve done that for years, both back in the apartment and with the more formal Rap Sessions. Heck, I’m positive Michelle wouldn’t be here without those Sunday afternoon gatherings where we ALL pushed each other to get past our biases, our phobias, our blind spots, and our inconsistencies. The bottom line of all of this, is that each of us has to reconcile ourselves to the situation in which we find ourselves, and either accept it and adapt to it, or if we can’t, express our feelings to the others. On the rare occasion that occurs, we talk it through and each of us makes a decision. The only time we’ve EVER had problems is when someone refuses to talk. I’ve done it. Kara’s done it. You’ve done it, Jess. And Michelle has done it.”