Chapter 14: Rocky Mountain High

October 12, 1995, Colorado Springs and Denver, Colorado

When the flight from Los Angeles to Denver reached altitude, I put on my noise cancelling headphones and inserted a classical CD into my portable player. I put on my neck pillow and reclined the seat. I closed my eyes and began to examin how I truly felt about being with Jasmine. Was I falling back into old patterns? And if I was, how did I put myself into the correct mental and emotional state to not do that.

It seemed, as I reviewed my recent behavior, that the situation with Molly was, first and foremost, about establishing a deep bond. It wasn’t a ‘dall-yance’, in that I expected a long-term relationship with her which wasn’t, ultimately, based on sex. That was NOT true about Meredith in any way. Jasmine was, as I thought about it, somewhere between those two extremes.

As I considered what had happened with Meredith, I was sure it had been an error in judgment, albeit a minor one, but one which had shown me that I’d recovered from the emotional trauma I’d suffered after being with the twins. In my mind, that somewhat mitigated the error. I was sure that I would not be with Meredith again, and I’d make that clear to her BEFORE I went to San Diego again.

The situation with Jasmine, and, potentially, with Liza in Pittsburgh was something very different. In a sense, they provided the emotional and physical closeness I had always needed. But was that a sufficient reason to be with them? In the past, Elyse had provided a resolution - she had traveled with me.

Perhaps that was the solution - to have someone travel with me. Michelle was the obvious person to fill the role, and maybe that was the best way to help me stay on the narrow path. The concern there was that she was pregnant, and at some point, wouldn’t be able to travel, and once the baby was born, probably wouldn’t WANT to travel. There was no way Jessica or Kara could travel with me, and I didn’t know of any other alternatives.

One way to deal with it was to limit my trips, which, in the grand scheme of things, I probably needed to do anyway. If I limited myself to one trip to each region, and made use of the new videoconferencing system, I could probably manage to be away less than ten nights a year. As I thought about it, I suppressed a laugh - was I really that weak that I needed someone to play what amounted to chaperone? Or was I SO addicted to sex that I needed someone in my bed every night?

Ultimately, I was sure it was an emotional need, not a physical one. And it might be psychological as well - a mindset I thought I’d been able to control, but apparently had not. There was still something amiss, and I wasn’t quite sure how to repair whatever the flaw or failure was. The easy answer was to just stop the behavior, but that had never really worked as a permanent solution. I had to change my mindset.

So many of my closest female friends had said it was just who I was, and maybe that was true in the past. I didn’t think so, and the mini-meltdown over the twins had shown that not to be the case. Then, when opportunities began to present themselves, I allowed myself to drift back towards my previous behavior. At first, I’d considered only the ‘bonding’ relationships, but then Meredith had caused me to slip into the ‘dalliance’ relationships again. I COULD have said ‘no’, but didn’t. The question was, obviously, ‘why?’.

‘Why?’ was, as I thought about it, because I was addicted to those kinds of relationships. I had shown I COULD break the addiction, and I’d even effectively used celibacy with Jennifer back when we were teenagers, as well as with my wives for the month before our marriage. In those cases, I’d had a clear goal in mind, and once I’d committed to it, I’d stuck with it. There was no reason I couldn’t do it again. Well, except for temptation, to which I knew I was very susceptible.

And that took me back to having a traveling companion as a safety net. An image of Eve and me in bed together flashed through my mind, though I quickly banished that to the fantasy storage area! Going in circles wasn’t useful, and I wondered how else I could get out of the cycle. And, perhaps more importantly, convince everyone close to me that I SHOULD get out of cycle and that it wouldn’t be detrimental to my emotional or mental health.

There were several people I needed to talk with, but first and foremost, I needed to talk with Jennifer. While Melanie had started the sequence of events that had led to my behavior, I really couldn’t have the conversation with her which I needed to have with Jennifer. Once I had Jennifer’s advice, I’d seek Elyse’s opinion, and THEN speak with Jessica and Kara. While some people might question that approach, it fit with the «pater familias» guidelines we’d established.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep, waking only when the stewardess woke me for our descent into Denver International Airport, which had replaced Stapleton as of February. Normally, I would have flown into Colorado Springs, but with the User Group meeting being in Denver, it was simply easier to stay at the same hotel, the Denver Marriott City Center, and not have to drive to Colorado Springs on Saturday morning for my flight home.

When we landed, I headed straight for the National car rental counter, showed my license, signed the forms, and received the keys. Fifteen minutes after we landed, I was in my car and on my way to the NIKA offices in Colorado Springs. About an hour and a half later, or just before 11:00am, I walked through the doors of our offices.

“May I help you?” a young woman at the front desk asked.

“I’m Steve,” I grinned.

“Oh! Mr. Adams, I’m sorry. I knew you were coming, but I’ve never met you, so I didn’t recognize you!”

“And you are?”

“Marnie. I’m a temp. Barbara brought me in to help with the User Group meeting.”

That was an interesting revelation, as I hadn’t heard anything about it!

“Nice to meet you.”

“Just go through the doors there to the left. Barbara’s office is the first one on the left.”

“Thanks!”

I went through the doors, turned left and knocked on the first open door.

“Hi, Steve!” Barbara exclaimed, springing up from her desk.

We exchanged a quick, chaste hug.

“Something you need to tell me?” I asked with a smile and an arched eyebrow.

“What?”

“The young woman at the desk out front? I don’t recall hearing about her, let alone interviewing her.”

“Oh, she’s a temp; she’s only here for a week to help with the User Group meeting. Elyse gave me permission!”

“Did she now? Well, Miss Elyse and I are going to have words!”

“Is this a problem?”

I shrugged, “Only in that I didn’t know about it.”

“She’ll be in late this evening. She’ll meet us at the restaurant for the team dinner.”

“Sounds good. Did Ben Jackson call you?”

“Yes. He plans to come to the office late this afternoon. He said he had a morning meeting that he couldn’t skip.”

“We were supposed to be on the same flight. He told me last night he couldn’t make the first flight out. Show me around?”

“Sure. I have a salad for you in the fridge, but come on. Besides the development team, only Clay is in the office. The sales team is out selling, and the consultants are out consulting!”

“As it should be,” I replied with a grin. “What’s the scoop on the additional on-site staff?”

“Based on financials, I’m targeting January 2nd as their start date. I’ll start doing phone interviews in a week or so.”

We walked down the hallway past a couple of empty offices to the ‘bullpen’ where the developers worked. Terry had adopted Dave’s management style and was sitting with his team, with the office that would have been his being used as a shared office amongst the team if they needed privacy or quiet.

“Hey, Boss!” Terry said, hopping up from his chair.

We exchanged a hearty handshake and clapped each other on the back in lieu of a hug.

“How are things?” I asked.

“Good. Not much has changed since I saw you for Guys’ Night a few weeks ago when I was in Chicago to see the kids, though I do need a minute in private.”

“Sure. Let me say ‘hi’ to the rest of the team.”

I exchanged greetings with Kajri, Nicole, Vickie, and Skye, then followed Barbara to the office where Clay worked. He was on the phone with a customer, so we just exchanged a wave and a nod, then I went back to meet with Terry in the private development office.

“What’s up?”

“I need a favor; possibly a big one.”

“You know I have to stay neutral in any issues between you and Penny.”

He shook his head, “It’s not that. I need a policy exception.”

“Which one?”

“Dating relationships between supervisors and team members.”

“Who?”

“Skye.”

I took a deep breath and let it out, “Are you asking after the fact, or beforehand?”

“I learned my lesson; beforehand.”

“You realize the potential problems this creates, right?”

“Yes, and so does Skye. I’m sure you’ll want to talk to her.”

“Yes, though I’m seriously reticent given your past issues. I’m concerned about how it will look, especially to Kajri, Nicole, and Vickie. And what happens if you guys have a messy break-up?”

“All valid concerns. We both want to keep working for NIKA, obviously.”

“Is that a backhanded way of saying one of you might quit so you can date?”

“No, I was saying neither of us wants to mess things up.”

“Let me think about it, and talk to Skye. Elyse will be here later this afternoon and I’ll talk with her tonight after the team dinner.”

“You KNOW what she’s going to say,” he sighed.

“The same thing I’d say if I had to decide right this minute. My thinking about it is giving you the benefit of the doubt because of our friendship. But that’s thin ice for me to skate on.”

He nodded, “I know. I had to ask.”

“And nothing has happened between the two of you?”

“Nothing physical, but we’ve been hanging out a lot since I moved here.”

“OK. Let me talk to Skye,” I said.

“Thanks, Boss!”

“Don’t thank me just yet,” I replied.

“For considering my request. And being my friend.”

He left and a moment later, Skye came into the office, closing the door behind her.

“This is a bit awkward,” she said.

“For all of us,” I said. “Grab a seat.”

She sat down, and it was obvious she was nervous.

“Just relax, Skye. Nobody’s in trouble because, according to Terry, nobody has broken the rules. I take it he’s telling me the truth?”

She nodded, “Yes. We’ve spent time together and gone out for drinks, you know, that kind of thing. But so far it’s been as friends.”

“I’ve had friends who have been lovers, too.”

Skye blushed slightly, “It’s not like that, I promise. I read the policy manual when you hired me, and I double-checked it when I realized I wanted to start dating Terry.”

“You initiated things?”

“You mean, like I asked him to hang out?”

“No, I meant the request.”

“Yes. I told him we should ask for permission, and he agreed. He said he’d do it because he’s known you for a lot longer and I guess you guys hung out, too.”

“I take it you understand all the pitfalls and potential problems.”

“Yes.”

I wondered about that, as I had no idea how much Terry had told her. I was very happy with how Terry had handled the situation, though I wasn’t happy with the prospect of saying ‘yes’ OR ‘no’. My inclination was to enforce the policy manual, and decline the request, but I’d promised Terry I’d think about it. I was also reasonably sure what Elyse would say, as well as how the Board might react. And then there was Jamie. I didn’t need their approval to make this decision, and I certainly didn’t relish the thought of going against them.

“What happens if I don’t waive the policy?”

Skye shrugged, “I guess that’s the end of it.”

I wondered about that. I didn’t expect them to quit, but I could certainly see them trying to do something on the QT. And that would create no end of trouble. One fear that popped into my mind wasn’t possible, at least in the short term - marry and then use Dave and Julia’s situation as a way to force the issue. Dave, Julia, Cindi, and Elyse had all made it clear that they would never leave NIKA so long as I was leading the company, and there was no reasonable way to change their reporting relationship. And, as Jamie had warned, that presented a serious problem should we wind up in a situation such as the one I had just envisioned.

“I told Terry I need a few days to think about it,” I said. “I also want to get advice from Elyse, and possibly our HR consultant and corporate attorney.”

“Terry says neither of them will go for it, and your attorney is immovable on the question.”

I smiled, “That’s Jamie’s job. My only promise to him was not to ask for a waiver for myself!”

Skye laughed, “There are more than a few girls at NIKA who might take you up on that idea.”

“No comment,” I said evenly. “As I said, let me think about it, and I’ll make a decision in the next few days.”

“Thanks.”

She stood and when I nodded, she left the office. I picked up the phone and dialed Chicago, using the internal extension numbers.

“Anything going on?” I asked Lucas when he answered.

“Not really. Elyse, Cindi, and Kimmy are on their way to the airport. I’m guessing that’s why you called me directly.”

“It is. If there’s nothing pressing which needs my attention, I’ll let you go. Call my cell if you need me.”

“Will do!”

We said ‘goodbye’ and hung up, and I went back to Barbara’s office.

“Did you know Terry was going to approach me?”

“About what?”

“Interesting,” I said. “You didn’t know that he and Skye are hanging out a lot?”

“That is strictly against policy!”

“As friends, it’s only something which needs to be watched, you know, for favoritism. They want an exception to the policy about managers and staff.”

“Oh, hell no!” Barbara said firmly. “That is the LAST thing I need in this office!”

“I only promised to think about it, Barbara. I’m going to talk to Elyse and Jamie.”

Barbara smiled, “Well, I know THEIR opinions on this matter from the discussions on the changes to the policy manual we had last Spring.”

“Yes, but in the end, at this level, it’s up to me to decide. If it were someone at the VP level or above, then it would go to the Board.”

“You’re not thinking of approving this, are you?”

“My inclination is to say ‘no’, but I’m just as worried about the fallout from saying ‘no’ as I am from saying ‘yes’. Either way could cost us one or two good people, or have them do it secretly, or have it blow up in our faces in some random way no matter which answer I give.”

“I think ‘no’ is safer.”

I nodded, “That is a major consideration, and why I said I had an inclination to say ‘no’.”

“You could fire them if they had a secret relationship.”

“I could; but I sure don’t want to. As I said, it could be ugly either way. And consider this - when Terry’s divorce from Penny is finalized, if he and Skye married, we’d have a heck of a time saying ‘no’ to their continued employment in their current roles because of Dave and Julia. And in the past, Elyse and me.”

And now Michelle, but that wasn’t public knowledge, though once she was visibly pregnant, we’d have to say something, though I needed to leave it to Michelle as to exactly what she was going to say.

Barbara shook her head, “Suddenly, what I thought was a simple answer isn’t so simple.”

“Exactly,” I replied. “I’ll hear out Elyse and Jamie, and maybe even discuss it with Joyce, but I really don’t want to involve the Board.”

‘For obvious reasons,’ I didn’t add, given all the stuff that had gone down with Zeke, Terry, Penny, Keri, and Mikela.

“Well, let me know what you decide.”

“I will; your input is valuable. Now, I think I’ll have my lunch and chat with the development team.”

“OK. I’m here if you need anything.”

Barbara showed me where the break room was, and I got my salad and took it to one of the empty private offices and ate my lunch, then checked my email. Once I replied to a few emails, I went to hang out with the development team. I also managed to spend a few minutes with Clay between phone calls. Ben Jackson arrived just after 4:00pm for his meeting with Barbara. When they finished, we headed to a local steak house for a team dinner, to which Ben was invited.

After dinner, Elyse, Cindi, Kimmy, Ben, and I headed back to the Marriott in Denver, where Ben’s colleague, Megan, joined us, as did several other lawyers from other firms who were attending the user group. I wanted to talk to Megan, but given the people who were there, I didn’t really have much of a chance for a private talk. After a few drinks, I asked if she’d join me for breakfast, and she agreed.

Elyse and I both said ‘goodnight’ before the group broke up, and headed for the elevator.

“Megan, huh?” Elyse smirked as the elevator door closed.

I laughed, “Not the way you mean, but she is a smoking-hot redhead!”

“Then it IS the way I mean!” Elyse replied, laughing.

“No. She’s a new partner in the firm, which would make her off limits, even if she were interested. It’s one of those ‘small world’ things - she and I went to first grade together in Indio, California. We agreed to talk here in Denver. If it were the way you meant, would I have invited her to have breakfast? Or would I have simply stayed until she finished socializing?”