Chapter 9: SDSU

September 21, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

“I set up a tape in the VCR in our room to record JAG on Saturday night,” I said as Jessica dressed for work late on Thursday evening.

“It’ll probably be as realistic as ER,” she laughed.

“Come on, Jess! You’ve admitted that ER does a good job with a lot of things. And you admitted that the drama amongst the real hospital staff is WORSE!”

“I might have said that, yes,” she laughed.

“What’s the basic story line?” Kara asked.

“Basically, it’s about a Lieutenant Harmon Rabb, a Navy pilot, who transfers to the JAG corps as an attorney after some kind of health problem stopped him from flying. Karl already gave me an earful about THAT!”

“So Top Gun meets L.A. Law?”

I laughed, “Something like that! The guys aren’t holding out a lot of hope for the show. I think it could be good, but it could also be REALLY bad! ER has improved, and honestly, if they simply keep it as the story of John Carter, and follow his medical career, I think it’ll be even better.”

“Believe it or not, I like that character,” Jessica said.

“I believe it,” I agreed. “That’s the doctor I’d want taking care of me.”

“I’ll be sure to let Doctor Barton, Doctor Carver, and Mary Whittaker know!”

“Gee, thanks, Babe!” I said sarcastically.

We all laughed, and when she finished dressing, the three of us left the house for the walk to the hospital.

“What time is your flight tomorrow?” Jessica asked.

“11:00am. I get into San Diego around 1:30pm California time. I changed the hotel reservation and I’m staying at the Parc Suites, which is where Bethany, Kathy, and I stayed. It means renting a car, and paying the difference between that and the Holiday Inn, but I think it’s worth it.”

“We can afford it!” Jessica laughed. “Let’s just say it’s nice to be making REAL money, and to have my loans paid.”

“I STILL can’t believe how much it cost for you to go to medical school,” Kara said, shaking her head. “I thought IIT was expensive!”

“Your PhD year would have cost the same as a year in medical school without the research grants and the stipend.”

“True. But the University makes a lot of money from research, especially if that research results in patents. Did you know there’s an entire department at the University that does nothing but manage that kind of thing?”

“I knew,” I said. “And if you think about it, Melissa and I have something similar, but on a smaller scale.”

“Speaking of which, do you think Dante will try to cause more trouble?”

“Of course; it’s personal now. Well, it probably was before, but I really did rub his nose in it this time.”

“Why do that?” Jessica asked.

“Why does Jesse torment Birgit at every opportunity?” I chuckled.

“Jess,” Kara said mirthfully, “you know the difference between little boys and big boys is simply the price of their toys!”

“And the size of their toy!” Jessica said impishly. “Speaking of which, are you planning to see that girl you met on the plane to Japan?”

“Meredith? No. I haven’t talked to her in a long time. I’m assuming she finally gave up. San Diego wasn’t a place I normally visited, and given everything that happened starting with Jorge’s death, I wasn’t going to go out of my way, either.”

“What about that girl in Pittsburgh? The one Tara introduced you to?”

I shrugged, “Maybe. I’m going to Pittsburgh after the User Group meeting in Denver. I talked to Tara a couple of weeks ago, and Liza is dating, but isn’t steady. But even if I see her, I’m not sure I’m up for a ‘dall-yance’.”

“I thought you and Molly...”

“Probably, but we’ll see.”

“The one he wants badly is Eve,” Jessica laughed. “But the rules do not allow it and he won’t make that exception.”

Kara smirked, “And if he did, then Penny, Kimmy, and who knows who else would storm in demanding THEIR ‘exception’!”

“And toss everything right into the dumpster,” I said. “There is no way I’m taking ANY risks in that regard. And I’ll remind you, Kimmy is happily married to a man who I consider a friend, albeit we’re not close. So she’s doubly off limits!”

“Did you ever hear from your Italian friend?”

“Elena called about a week ago because she was going to be in London and then Montréal, but my schedule simply didn’t work out, and she couldn’t come to Chicago on that trip.”

“So, you would?”

I nodded, “Yes. I did hear from Karla, as well. She wants to come to the US for a few weeks next Summer.”

“Tiger, did you ever talk to Lucy Alexa about Moscow?”

I laughed, “No. Just the fact that you used her Americanized name tells me she’s not going to be interested. She’s been planning to visit, but things at work are keeping her really busy. I sent her an email telling her that Tanya and her family were going to visit in November, and she said she’d try to visit at the same time so she could see them. I’ll ask Lyudmila then, though I’m pretty sure I know what the answer will be.”

“California surfer chicks and Moscow don’t mix very well, I guess!”

“She’s so busy, she hasn’t been surfing in over a year,” I said.

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“She’s seeing someone, but I don’t know how serious it is. I honestly think, deep down, she misses Curtis, but the whole cheating thing is so big in her mind she couldn’t give him another chance.”

“It’s not easy,” Kara sighed.

“I know, Honey. And I’m grateful for your ability to forgive me for my transgressions.”

“We’ve all made our mistakes,” she replied.

“That’s for sure,” Jessica agreed.

We arrived at the hospital and after Kara and I exchanged hugs and kisses with Jessica, she went into the ER and Kara and I turned for home.

September 22, 1995, Chicago, Illinois

“When will you be home, Daddy?” Birgit asked when we were cuddling on Friday morning.

“Late on Sunday,” I replied.

“Before bedtime?”

“Yes. Probably right when you go to bed. I’ll tell your mom it’s OK for you to stay up.”

“Can I come to the airport when you come home?”

“I’m going to drive and park my car there, so no.”

“Did Katy and Amy get their baby yet?”

“No. It takes a long time to adopt, and it’s more difficult because they aren’t married to each other.”

“That’s not fair!” she protested, using the ‘F’ word.

“No, it’s not,” I replied, refraining from correcting her because it really wasn’t fair, or just, or whatever other word one wanted to use.

“They could make a baby like Aunt Jennifer did!”

“But they don’t want to do that,” I said. “They don’t want a boy involved at all.”

That wasn’t QUITE true. Katy would have been happy to have my help in that regard, and Amy would have been OK with it, but it was impossible due to my vasectomy.

“Boys do dumb stuff!” she laughed. “Even dads!”

“So you’ve said, Pumpkin! Shall we go eat breakfast?”

“Yes!”

We left the sunroom and went to the kitchen where I made breakfast for the family. We got the kids off to school, left Ashley in Amanda’s care, and then Elyse, Michelle, and I headed to the West Loop while Kara walked to the University. I drove alone, which was rare, but I was heading to the airport in a few hours, so Michelle and Elyse would need a car to get home.

I had quite a bit of work to do in the ninety minutes I’d be in the office before heading to O’Hare for my flight to California. I replied to the last email about a minute before I needed to leave, kissed Penny on the cheek, causing her to smile, said ‘goodbye’ to Kimmy and headed out. An hour and fifteen minutes later, I handed over my boarding pass and took my first-class seat on the MD-80 for the four-and-a-half hour flight to San Diego.

September 23, 1995, San Diego, California

“Did you have a good night?” Gerald Barkley asked after he greeted me in his office.

“Nice and relaxing,” I said. “I relaxed, made myself dinner, spent some time on the balcony enjoying the gorgeous weather, and read.”

“Are you ready for the sessions?”

“Absolutely. How many students do we have today?”

“Fourteen undergrads and eleven graduate students. Do you have an agenda?”

I chuckled, “I always have an agenda! But if you mean an outline, no. I do have something to break the ice and then we’ll see where it goes from there. The Rap Sessions always kind of took on a life of their own. What’s the entertainment tonight?”

“There’s a Jazz group playing on campus. We have tickets for everyone. Shall we head to the student center?”

“Sure!”

We left his office and walked across campus. We had use of a room with several couches and easy chairs, and enough seats so nobody would need to sit on the floor unless they wanted to. Even then, there were some cushions and backrests for anyone who wanted to do that. There were already about a dozen students assembled, and when I scanned the room, I did a double-take and stopped in my tracks.

“Hi, Steve!” Meredith Caldwell called out.

“Meredith? What are you doing here?”

“I enrolled over the Summer. I’m doing sports medicine with a philosophy minor.”

“I thought Freshmen weren’t allowed in these sessions!” I protested.

“I got an exception from Doctor Barkley because I know you.”

“Steve!” Phil Edwards called out, interrupting our conversation.

“Phil! It’s great to see you! I heard you’re an adjunct professor!”

“Thanks to you!” he grinned. “Those Rap Sessions really had a huge impact. How is everyone back in Chicago?”

“Good. The kids are growing like weeds. And there are seven of them now!”

He laughed and shook his head, “I shouldn’t be surprised with all those hot women you had around!”

“So the Rap Sessions led you to a PhD in Philosophy?”

“I switched my minor to philosophy, then ended up going for a Master’s and a PhD. You got me hooked.”

“I’m sorry,” I grinned.

He laughed, “There are days ... especially with Freshmen students!”

“Hey!” Meredith protested. “You signed the recommendation letter for me to be here!”

“I have my moments of weakness,” he laughed.

Gerald Barkley got everyone’s attention and we all took seats around the room - twenty-five students, five faculty, and Gerald. He nodded to me.

“As I believe you all know, I’m Steve Adams. I live in Chicago and run a computer software and consulting company called NIKA Consulting. My undergraduate degree is in Computer Science, and that’s the extent of my formal education. I’ve traveled extensively, including spending a year in Sweden as an exchange student, and five weeks in Japan studying under a 9th Dan Japanese karate master. I’m a 5th Dan black belt, and a licensed instructor.

“I’m sure you’re wondering what a tech geek is doing talking to a group of philosophers. Heck, I’m wondering myself! As Professor Edwards can attest, I’m something of an amateur philosopher and have run Sunday Rap Sessions, as we call them, for about fifteen years. I’ve studied, on my own, all the major religious traditions, and some of the minor ones as well, and I’ve read extensively.

“It’s important to remember, I’m not here to teach you anything except perhaps how to think and how to marshal a logical argument. I’m very good at finding inconsistencies in arguments, and I’m something of a dog with a bone when I detect weakness. That means you might be subject to some VERY uncomfortable questions.

“The thing is, that’s very important, and if you aren’t willing to deal with someone questioning your sincerely held beliefs, and probing your innermost thoughts, you’re in the wrong place. If you think you know the answer to something, and are sure of it, I’m here to tell you that you’re probably wrong. I’m a skeptic, and I expect all of you to be skeptics by the time we finish tomorrow.

“Being a skeptic means questioning your own assumptions and your own beliefs, and only accepting anything you know as provisional, subject to future revision. I like to use Isaac Newton as an example. Classical Mechanics works great for things like projectiles and orbits, but you need Quantum Mechanics to describe things which happen at the sub-atomic level. And even then, you need Quantum Field Theory to explain things which Quantum Mechanics cannot. And nobody can explain gravity!

“And therein lies the lesson. It may be that all of those are inexact, and we need some new theory to unify everything. Science depends on questioning everything, including things we ‘know’, and I mean that with quotes around it, to be true. We only make progress when we try to prove an idea to be true, or when we work to prove it to be false. It’s all about questioning and following basic principles to test your ideas. And being willing to discard them if they are found wanting.

“Remember, to say that something in science is ‘undeniable’ is the exact opposite of what science is supposed to be! The unfalsifiable hypothesis can’t be tested, and as such, has little value for science. And we can apply all those principles to many areas of our lives. Our views on every subject NEED to be open to questions. Think about this - if your faith can’t survive tough questions, is it a faith worth having?

“And, before you ask, as some of you will, I’m eclectic regarding religion. I take some from column A, some from column B, and so on. I suppose you could call it syncretism, but it’s a synthesis that works for me to help explain how the world works. If you pushed me for a short answer, I’m not sure I could give a better one than saying I find Orthodox Christianity and Buddhism to do the best job at describing the human condition.

“So, all that said, I have something I want to do to break the ice. If each of you would take out a piece of paper, you have fifteen minutes to do this exercise. I want you to imagine you have a box before you, and you need to place exactly twelve items, no more and no less, into the box that tell the story of who you are. When we’re done, we’ll share our lists. This is meant to kick-start YOUR thinking. Begin.”

Everyone took a pencil and a sheet of notebook paper, and I watched as most of them simply stared at me, the floor, or the ceiling, trying to decide what to write. I’d prepared my list on the plane, and it really wasn’t an easy exercise, and I’d taken more than fifteen minutes to do mine. I’d seriously struggled with how to fit everyone into the list, and even expanding it from ten to twelve, hadn’t completely solved the problem.

Some students wrote a few lines quickly, then stopped, others hurriedly scribbled answers when I warned there were two minutes left. I gave them an extra minute, then called time.

“I’ll give you my list first,” I said. “In no particular order - a karate black belt; a white queen from a Staunton chess set; a hockey skate; a floppy disk; a lug nut; a cherry blossom; a Naval officer’s cap; a nickel encased in Lucite; a chemistry book; a sambuca glass; my ‘trio’ ring; and a copy of the ABBA single Knowing Me, Knowing You.”

“Steve, I’m Ken, a Junior philosophy major, can I ask a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why read them out? They don’t make sense to any of us.”

“That’s true. This exercise is for YOU and about YOU. Reading it out loud keeps you honest! You have to have your twelve items on your list!”

He laughed, “You think someone might cheat, so to speak?”

“It can be a tough assignment,” I said. “I was lucky in that I had a chance to discuss this with people beforehand.”

“So YOU cheated!” he said accusingly, but with a smile.

“Rank does have its privileges!” I grinned. “Or, put another way, it’s great to be the king!”

“Steve, I’m Misty, a graduate student. Can I ask a question before we do it?”

“Sure.”

“Would you tell US why you picked those items?”

I nodded, “I will. You’ll get the short version. We can talk more at lunch and dinner if you want. The long version would take up all our time. The black belt should be obvious from what I said before. The chess piece is because I played competitively in High School and met a number of people very important in my life through playing chess. The hockey skate represents several things - I’m a Pittsburgh Penguins fan, but the specific skate would be from when I learned to skate in Sweden and met a figure skater who became a serious girlfriend for a time. The floppy disk should be obvious.

“The lug nut represents NASCAR, but more importantly, the friends I’ve made because of that sport, including a young woman who was very special who died of cancer. She’s also one of two young women represented by the chemistry book because I met them in chemistry class. The cherry blossom represents a very special young woman in Japan, but more than that, a complete transformation of my life. The Naval officer’s cap represents my friend who died in service to his country, but also my dad who served in World War II, and my many friends in the Navy.

“The nickel represents my dear friend Jorge, who died tragically at the hands of a drunk driver. The sambuca glass is for my first mentor. The ring represents my complicated family life, which you’ll hear about over the course of the next two days. And the ABBA single represents a young woman whom I would call my first love, who died in a tragic boating accident at age fifteen.

“In all honesty, my exercise started with ten items and I simply couldn’t make it fit. Even expanding it to twelve didn’t allow for many other people and things which were important to me. So if you got stuck with which twelve items, I understand.”