Chapter 1

I walked out onto the office floor and looked over the six women working there. One stood out. Susan was dressed down ... way down. She had on ugly glasses, no makeup, and had her hair up and pinned into a bun. Her clothes were dark, loose, and almost too large for her. I knew she was shunned by the other five women, but didn’t know why.

I might have had a clue when I arrived three months ago to take over the position. I had told the six working women the first day I wanted to get to know them and would be interviewing them on the morrow. Five fixed themselves up just a little beyond normal attire to meet with me. I had a seating card of the cubicles and the first names of the women in each one.

I called a lady, named Callie in first. She appeared to be the oldest and I found out she was forty-two. She also had worked for the firm the longest. I marked “nice lady” beside her name.

I went around the room leaving Susan, I thought of as the ugly one, to be last one of the day. Two of the women had tried flirting with me, but I wasn’t taken with either one. I didn’t intend to make a move on any of these women, for I had been charged with harassment at my former place of employment. The charge was false, by the way, and I was eventually exonerated.

I finally reached Susan. “Come in and sit, please. Have you worked here long?”

“Not as long as the other women. Two years next month, I guess.” Susan kept her head down and didn’t look me in the eyes.

“Before I start asking many questions, I have a note from your former boss that was left for me to read. It says that you are the best employee of all of the women working in this office. This is high praise. He also says to ignore you for being anti-social because he has tried to change your outlook but has failed.”

“That’s the way I am and it is useless for you to try either.”

“Okay, I won’t. You could enlighten me just a little of why, though.”

“I don’t really think I have to answer, but I will. I’m a single mom with a four year old child. I had trouble where I worked before moving into town four years ago I live with my grandmother. When my child was old enough for her to watch, I searched and found this job. I just want to make sure my son has what he needs.”

“The father?”

“He is not in the picture at all. He does pay court ordered support for my son, though. May I go back to work now?”

“Yes, of course.” Well, I didn’t get much out of that exchange. Susan Jackson hadn’t changed her attitude and in the following few months we only exchanged some work related words. Raises were to be given out when I had been here six months. This was to happen on a Tuesday and pay would be in this week’s envelope.

Today was when I could give each employee a pay raise. It was based seventy-five percent on the work they performed. There was also a length of service amount. I left Susan for last person again to go over her yearly review. The five women before Susan received a quarter increase and I settled on giving each another quarter since it marked another year being with the corporation.

“Susan, come in please” She came in like she had six months before and sat in the chair before the desk. “Susan, are you happy here? You never interact with the other girls very much and I know no more about you than I did six months ago.”

“I’m a very private person. Can we finish this please? Just give me my fifty cent raise. I’d like to finish my work before the shift ends.”

“Yes, I can see you are a private person. I suppose there is no need to go over your review as I have marked all categories excellent just as last year’s review was marked by my predecessor. However, I am going to raise your pay a little more than what the other girls received. You’ll find a dollar in your paycheck this week.”

“I suppose I will have to do something for the extra fifty cents. No thank you, I’ll pass.”

I stared at the woman. “Susan, I think you have me wrong. The extra is what you have already earned.” I stopped until she looked up at me. And then I went on, “I suspect from your actions some man must have wronged you. Let me tell you a little story of why I wouldn’t even suggest flirting with you.

“I just came from a concern where I was charged with sexual harassment. I was not guilty and I found the charge was very difficult to disprove. The company at first believed the woman and the management wouldn’t back me up and I was discharged. I ended up having to hire my own attorney and present my own case before a judge. I drew a woman judge to hear my case and I figured I was toast.

“The lawyer I hired was fresh out of law school and looked like a college kid. He told me to relax and he would find out the truth. He started hanging out where the women lunched and listened to the woman and her friends talk and joke about the case. They talked about it almost every day.

“The day before I was to be tried by the judge, my attorney was sitting with the women and they were going over what the woman was going to say before the judge the next day. Brazenly, my lawyer asked if he could tape what they were saying. He intended studying for the law. ‘Sure go ahead.’ the woman said, ‘You must have classes tomorrow while we are in court.’ The woman was some surprised when I was called before the judge and the so-called-kid sat with me as my attorney.

“The woman was asked to tell her story first, which she did, plausibly and eloquently. When my turn came, I stated that I had a witness on tape telling the true story. The company lawyer, who was defending the woman, argued that it was against the law to tape someone without their knowledge. This didn’t fly when it was plainly heard my attorney on tape asking if he could tape their conversation. The ladies at the beginning of the trial, and before hearing the taped conversation thought this a big joke.

“I recovered my lawyer’s fee and received the pay I had lost. I was even asked to come back to work for the company. I declined and came to work here. Susan, I have a great respect for women and especially for female judges. You can return to your desk now and enjoy your raise. I’m sure you can find an extra toy for your son.”

Susan rose and headed for the door. Her hand was on the knob when she turned and said, “Mr. Collins, thank you for the raise and thank you for telling me what happened to you.” She smiled at me and went out. I felt good. The smile wasn’t very big, but it was a smile.

Saturday, early evening at the mall, “Grady Collins, I haven’t seen you forever.”

I was in the mall when a voice I recognized spoke to me. Mrs. Winthrop had come up behind me. She stood there with a little boy holding her hand. We questioned each other about our lives. I had mowed Mrs. Winthrop’s lawn when I was a teenager. I liked the older woman and I missed her when she went out of my life. She had moved across town about the time I graduated high school and I hadn’t seen her since. I was fond of her and she always tipped me extra for doing her chores.

“Grady, where are you living?”

“I bought Mom and Dad’s old place when they moved away. I’m living alone. And you, where do you live?”

“The same place across town when I moved from my old neighborhood. There are no kids there to do chores for an old lady. I have to hire a service which costs me a bundle.”

“I could come over sometimes and mow your lawn. I’d do it for cookies.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, but I will bake cookies.” The little boy was staring up at me. “This little man loves my baking just like you used to. His name is Jake. He is my great-grand son. My grand daughter lives with me. You probably won’t meet her because she works two jobs.”

“I’m free, how about tomorrow morning? Give me your address and I’ll get there about 9:00.”

“I am baking in morning. It will be like old times.”

I looked at the little boy. “Hi, what do you like to play with?”

“Crucks. (trucks) I have this many. Mommy said I could have one more someday.” Jake held up two fingers and then switched to one finger.

“Hey, I just went by a toy store. Let’s go find you one and then Mommy won’t have to buy one.”

Mrs. Winthrop said I shouldn’t, but I said it was too late. “I’ve offered already. It would be like giving it and then taking it away.”

“I suppose, but not necessary.”

“Remember, I’m thinking cookies here.” Jake found the toy truck he had always wanted and as soon as that was purchased, we went to a soda fountain for coffee and Jake an orange soda.

On the way home, I thought about Mrs. Winthrop. It was too bad she had to care for her great-grand son at her age. Jake had to be in her total care for several hours a day if her granddaughter worked two jobs. Oh well, I was free a lot. I had never taken time recently to nourish a relationship with any woman. I dated some, but even that had stopped since I was charged with sexual harassment. I suppose I had made out pretty well financially when the court ordered the company to pay me my back pay.

I had been fired out of hand immediately on the filling of the suit without a hearing. I had also filed for punitive damages and the judge had agreed that I had been treated unfairly. So ... I had some money that I had turned into stock because I had the habit of looking to the future. I paid little attention to the account, but last year my broker informed me that my stocks had done well this year.

I had the free time and Mrs. Winthrop had been one who had hired me in my youth and had paid me liberally. I welcomed the chance to give her a little help. Jake opened the door for me when I arrived and wanted me to play ‘crucks’ with him. “I have two new ‘crucks’ now. Mommy got more money at work and brought one home last night. I love my Mommy.”

Mrs. Winthrop was taking cookies out of the oven and served me coffee with two of the best tasting oatmeal cookies that led me back to my youth. “Grady, you will have to check over the lawn tractor. The battery may be dead and I don’t know how the oil level is. There is gas in a can in front of it. The garage is cluttered because no one has had the time to straighten it out since Frank passed. If all this is too much bother, I’ll have the lawn service company mow it.”

I was relaxed and we continued to talk. Jake never went far from where I was sitting. When I finished my coffee, I said, “Jake, put your shoes on and we’ll see about getting the lawnmower out.”

“Oh dear Grady, Jake is a bother, but he would like to be with you.”

“No problem, he’ll have fun and I’ll have some company.”

Jake’s hand came into mine when we went around to the back of the garage where the machine was. The battery was dead, just as I was told. I removed it and plugged it into a battery charger that I had brought with me. I then changed the oil in the mower and observed that two of the tires were low. I told Jake, “We’ll pump up the tires when we get the tractor started. I have a small compressor that I plug into my cigarette lighter in my truck. This all takes time, but I shouldn’t have to do it again this year.”

“Mr. Grady, are you coming again to mow the lawn?”

“Yes, all summer I think.”

“Good, I heard Grama tell Mom that she had solved one problem and would save some money this year.” I went to work organizing the garage while waiting for the battery to charge. Finally, the battery was charged enough. I opened the side door and started the mower. Jake was jumping up and down and laughing. I drove it around to my truck and we pumped up the tires.

“Jake, do you want to sit on the seat while I go talk to your granny?”

“Can I?”

“You can, but don’t touch anything except the steering wheel. You can pretend you are mowing the lawn.” I went inside to speak to Mrs. Winthrop.

“You know Mrs. Winthrop, there is a lawn cart that can be hitched to the mower. It is safe enough to hook it up behind the tractor and Jake can ride in that while I mow the lawn.”

“Grady, that boy is having the best time. Sure, go ahead. Jake will tell his mother he mowed the lawn. She’ll approve, I know.”

I thought about Jake on the way home. His looks and the way he talked seemed familiar to me. I was puzzled. He treated me just as if I was his father, but I knew from Mrs. Winthrop that his real father wasn’t a presence in his life. Oh well, I enjoyed the day immensely. I had done Mrs. Winthrop a good deed and planned on continuing. Having the young boy having a good time was a bonus.

I was early to work Monday morning. I went by Susan’s cubicle on the way in. “Mr. Collins we need to talk.” She practically snapped at me.

“Come into my office, then, I have a few minutes before the rest of you arrive.”

Susan was right on my heels and slammed the office door behind her. She didn’t sit down and didn’t wait for me to set my briefcase down before she began berating me. She let me know she was unhappy. “Mr. Collins, I thought you were different. You come to my home, suck up to my son by giving him toys and play with him. I tell you it won’t work. We are never going to be closer to each other than where we are standing right here talking.”

I stared at the irate woman. “Miss Jackson, I have no idea what you are talking about. Yesterday I was at an old friend’s house mowing her lawn. I have known her for fifteen years. I was young and living next door so I did her chores. From what you are saying, I take it Mrs. Winthrop is your grandmother. If she is your grandmother, I wasn’t aware.

“As far as Jake is concerned, he is an active little person, but he doesn’t have much chance to be outside and do different things. For the record, the only thing Mrs. Winthrop told me about her granddaughter was that she two worked two jobs. If she had told me her granddaughter’s name was Jackson, then I would have made the connection.”

Susan stared at me and stated, “I thought you were stalking me.”

“No, I don’t do stalking. I thought I shared some things in my past with you where I definitely wouldn’t do something like stalking. Why are you so certain I would?”

“I don’t know, I guess when you told me you were charged with harassment and found not guilty I felt the verdict was wrong. I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven. You aren’t the only person who assumes that. There is one other thing I’d like to clarify; I promised Jake that I would be back to mow your grandmother’s lawn again next Saturday. It helps your grandmother out financially and Jake is looking forward to seeing me again.”

“Yes, I guess it is okay. I won’t be there, anyway.”

“What is your second job and if you don’t mind me asking, why do have to work outside of this one?”

“I clean offices in a building downtown evenings and weekends. I’m trying to get my college costs paid off as quickly as possible. I know Gram isn’t going to live forever and at present she is able to care for Jake. Daycare costs are so prohibitive.”

“They are, but then you are cheating your son and your grandmother of your presence.”

“I know and I hate it. I should have everything organized by next year when Jake goes to kindergarten. Gram will be relieved of the burden of caring for Jake so much. I can drop working nights and weekends so I can spend time with both.”

“I guess you have it worked out. How about your parents? Won’t they help out?”

“No, their daughter came home pregnant without a husband and they couldn’t deal with it. We were never close, anyway. Gram is the only one I could turn to. She is so wonderful.”

“I agree.”

“Mr. Collins, I’m sorry I thought you were something other than what you are. I think you will be a good role model for my son. Thank you,” Susann hesitated and then, “I must get to work.”

This time when Susan went out, she had a bigger smile on her face. This made me feel uplifted. The thoughts of Susan stayed with me on my trip home that evening.

Suddenly it came to me about my life earlier. As a seventeen-year-old I had an enquiring mind. I became interested in reincarnation and intrigued by the subject. I read several books written about a man named Edgar Cayce. I lived and believed everything I read at first. I mean, I was really into this subject and I even went so far as to have a life reading by a seer who was a member of the institute in Virginia Beach that was led by Cayce’s son who was continuing his father’s work.

I had grown out of that phase of my life, mostly because I took up an interest in girls and women. Now, ten years later, I was suddenly reminded of the beliefs I had held about the subject. Reaching home, I went up attic and searched for a wooden chest I had packed away. I was hoping to find the readings and notes from that time of my life. I didn’t know whether my mom had saved it, but I suspected she might have.