Chapter 2

Was I trussed up like a Christmas goose?

No.

Like a Thanksgiving Turkey?

No.

Like a whipping boy from Hurt-Me Monthly?

No.

So, I was not trapped.

Right?

“Lover, where did you go?”

“Huh?”

“Where did you go? You just left me.”

“I have to sing.”

I got up and sang some song I have done a million times and didn’t even think about it as I was on stage. All I could think of was the word ‘trapped’.

I was so lonely. I had been divorced from my first wife, Jean, for 9 years and hadn’t had a date in, well since before I got married to Jean and I had been married to her for almost 20 years. How do you get thrown away by your soulmate and not have it effect you? The depth of despair I was in was profound. The hole in me could not be filled. I could have dated a dozen women each day for the rest of my life and there would have been no change in my emptiness.

Since then, I think that I might have become a bit manic-depressive. I have periods where I feel great and unbeatable and then times when I feel like the world is about to crash down. I never bothered to do anything about it because it didn’t affect my life or job. When I work with kids I never get too happy or too angry. It works when dealing with children.

During one of my up periods, I got on a dating site and started chatting with some ladies. One of them stood out. Her name was Ella and after several days of chatting, I asked to meet her for lunch at a local Applebee’s. Ella and I ended up dating for a year. After the first 6 months, I started telling her that I loved her. After those declarations, we began sleeping together and after exactly one year of dating, we got married.

It was a huge mistake. Every time I told her that I loved her, I lied. I was laying a trap for her. I had to get her into my life so that I wouldn’t be alone anymore. It didn’t matter that I didn’t love her. I needed her, and I’d do anything to make sure I got her, I was afraid of being alone at my age.

After a year of marriage, she left me. We got along, we never argued except about politics. During our year of dating I made it clear that I was pretty conservative in my outlook on life. Leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. One day I got back from a swim meet and all of her clothes and several pieces of furniture were gone. I called her cell phone.

“Hi Ella, is there something you want to tell me?”

“Well, obviously, I have left you.”

“Why?”

“I can’t stay married to someone who wouldn’t vote for that wonderful man, Barack Obama.”

Nothing more needed to be said.

“Do I file for divorce or do you?”

“I already did and since it has been a year I have asked for a dissolution of the marriage. I don’t want anything, just to get out.”

“OK.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

I trapped her into a marriage and it failed because it was for the wrong reasons. She left me and I felt nothing. There was no sadness only regret for what I had done. I had stolen two years of her life.

Trapped.

“Mick. What song was that?”

“I don’t know.”

“How do you sing a song and not know what it was?”

“I guess I was on autopilot.”

“What’s the matter?”

I shrugged my shoulders and stood, walking to the bathroom.

“Brody? Is something going on?” ‘She’ looked at Brody.

“Hell Kendi, I don’t know. Occasionally his mood will take a hard left and he goes off in a direction. One night he went from goofy happy to quiet depressed. He just got up, shook my hand and said, ‘I’ll see you next time I see you.’. He walked out of the bar and I didn’t see him for three weeks.”

“Did I do something?”

“All I can think of is you making a joke that he was trapped.”

Kendi thought for a moment and then it hit her. Her years of searching for Mick, her years of gathering information about him. Then it hit her, and she got a look of horror on her face.

“Oh shit! You’re right. I should have known better.”

With her memory kicking in and realizing what she had done, Kendi stood and went to the men’s room door.

“Anybody in there?”

“Just me Kendi.” I tried to sound weary, so she wouldn’t come in.

‘She’ walked in.

Just like before, ‘She’ stood behind me as I was taking a leak in the urinal. ‘She’ kissed the back of my neck and traced a line along my ear.

“I’m sorry, Mick. I forgot about Ella. I never should have said anything about being trapped. It just never occurred to me because it was so long ago. I wasn’t thinking. I thought I was being cute.”

Another guy walked in just then.

“What the fuck?”

“Don’t worry, big guy, I’ve got my man here and you have nothing I want to see.”

“OK”

He unzipped in front of the other urinal, as Kendi continued to kiss my neck. And touch my ear.

“Kendi, you should get out of here.”

“Why? You afraid you’re gonna pee on the ceiling?”

“No. I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

Kendi flinched before closing her eyes and stopping her kisses on my neck and touches on my ear. She laid her head against my back.

“I knew it. Come on, lover, shake it dry and put it away, we need to go and have a talk.”

Kendi patted me on the back and turned to walk out the door.

“Your girlfriend?”

“My fiancé.”

“Well played, Bro!”

“Thanks.”

I chuckled as I washed my hands before grabbing a paper towel and heading out the door. Kendi was talking to Brody and they were both nodding. As I got close, Kendi turned, grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door. She pulled me off to an unoccupied side of the bar’s patio and pushed me down on a bench before sitting on my lap.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Sorry?”

“For?”

“Ella.”

“What did you do to Ella?”

“Don’t be dumb.”

“I don’t think I am dumb.”

“Mick, I am sorry to have made a joke about you being trapped. I totally forgot about her and how you felt.”

“How do you know how I felt?”

“I’m...”

“Smart and sneaky?”

“Yup. But not so much this time.”

“Lover, I guess you need to be aware that we will never have an idea when or where my ghosts will pop up.”

“If I had been thinking with my head instead of my pussy, I’d have suspected.”

“Your pussy?”

“Yeah, you know? That thing between my legs.”

“Front or back?”

She wiggled on my lap and I patted her right butt cheek and wrapped my left arm around her lower waist. I then kissed her neck.

“Hey you two! Get a back seat!”

Ronnie the inside security guy stuck his head out the door.

“I love you Ronnie!” I said.

“Hear that Kendi? He loves me.”

“Later, remind me to tap you in the nuts for trying to steal my man, Ronnie!”

“Yes ma’am.”

‘She’ gave me a kiss and slowly pulled me back from the depression I was sliding into. I was reminded again, as I had been reminded many times since we met those many weeks ago, that she told me her goal in life was to save me and give me the life she said I deserved.

“I’m OK, Kendi. The trapped thing did get to me, but it is my problem to deal with, not yours to dodge around.”

“It is my problem to deal with because it is your problem and YOU are MY man.”

It is a good thing I didn’t know how to answer that, because she locked her lips on me and kissed me into agreeing with her. When she broke for air, I pulled back and looked into her beautiful eyes, I didn’t want to think about this issue right now, so I changed the subject.

“Guinness?”

“Sambuca?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

‘She’ stood and helped me stand, turning me towards her and with my back to the entrance. She slid her hand down to my crotch and patted it softly.

“Didn’t want you to be embarrassed if you stood with that wonderful boner of yours tenting out your pants in front of God and everybody. You’re good to go.”

“It makes me feel soft and squishy to know that you worry about my boner.”

“I hope you don’t stay soft and squishy all night.”

‘She’ kissed my nose and swatted me on the butt when I turned. Back inside, Brody gave me the ‘Hi’ sign and I went to him.

“I was hoping you were still here. A party of 15 just left and they all signed up to sing. You are up next.”

“OK. What do you want fast or slow?”

“Fast.”

“Clean or dirty?”

“Surprise me.”

“Really?”

“No.” Brody knew me too well.

“How about ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On’ by Joe Cocker.

“Good! Go!”

I got up to sing and Kendi stepped to the front of the stage and as the music kicked off she started to sway her yellow yoga-pants covered bottom to the music. People began to take the hint and several women got up with her. When I got to the line “Now raise your arms in the aim, now shake ‘em”, Kendi raised her arms in the air along with several women around her, then they all shook their tits at me so hard I almost popped the aforementioned boner.

When I got done I sat next to Brody but Kendi took some time getting back. I looked up for her and some guy was holding her arm and holding her back. I watched closely, because Kendi was able to take care of herself, but I also was still bugged about the trapped remark and I was wondering how ‘She’ liked being trapped.