12: Setting a Conspiracy in Motion

Nothing is more dangerous
than a friend without discretion;
even a prudent enemy is preferable.

Jean De La Fontaine

“Man, what the hell did you tell those women?” Lamar demanded. “Geez, guys are stopping me in the middle of the hall and openly flirting.”

“And you’re complaining?” Al asked, grinning.

“Well, no, not complaining, but I’m curious what stories your widows are passing around about me.”

“It’s an issue, because they’re ignoring me,” Mui added. “Someone needs to tell them there’s no deal unless we both agree to it. After all, this is pair-bonding, not a one-night stand.”

“She’s right. We agreed to this because it solves an essential problem for both of us. If we can bring a bi-male into our relationship, I won’t feel the desire to play around outside the marriage. I’m tired of living two lives. Yes, I’m gay, but I still love Mui, and I’m not about to abandon her. I’m sick of running around on the down-low. I know, I know, she’s aware that I used to engage in safe sex outside of our relationship, but I want everything to be above board, with no secrets between us. We need to be honest with each other, otherwise problems start to fester. Whatever you said, tell them explicitly this is a full-time commitment.”

“Adding someone to the mix would help,” Mui admitted, “but not if I’m still kept out of it. We both want to involve whoever we include into our marriage.”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything serious,” Betty said, waving casually. “Mryzzl was astonished at Al’s size, so Al commented that human males possess unusually large dicks.” Xi couldn’t resist, and broke out giggling.

Lamar lost most of his outrage, leaning back and considering the implications. “Well, that explains the behaviors. I feel like a rock star who has never lifted a guitar. That’s a lot of expectations.”

“I suspect few Tandorian males are as large as you guys,” Betty continued. “They attract mates through displays, whereas we use physical endowments since we have so little to ... show off.”

“Wait, you’re telling me everyone will think I’m huge, even if I’m not?”

“To them you are,” Xi pointed out. “According to Myi, Al’s extremely large.”

“Really?” Mui asked, glancing skeptically at his crotch. “I’ve never seen any sign of it before.”

“Again, it’s not a personal thing, it’s a species thing. We have proportionally larger dicks than most earth species, since they have other means of attracting mates. According to Myi, we humans are pretty boring, with little particularly attractive physical traits.”

“Ouch!” Lamar responded.

“Myi?” Mui prompted.

Betty blushed. “It’s our pet name for Mryzzl. Since we consider her to be part of our extended family, we gave her a similar nickname.”

“This is interesting,” Lamar said, stroking his chin. “Most females wouldn’t be able to handle members larger than they’re designed to cope with. However, gay individuals—at least those with similar digestive tracts, have plenty of room for the extra few inches.”

“It don’t help me none,” Mui countered.

“Think of it as increasing our choices. Normally, everyone is skittish about associating with the ‘ugly humans’. However, in this case, the fascination with our sexuality means we have more candidates, which allows us to separate the wheat from the chaff.”

“Well, you’re plenty big enough for me,” Mui argued. “While I have no desire for anyone larger, it doesn’t mean I want someone miniscule either.”

“We’re searching for virtually anyone compatible at this point. If we can get more to choose from, we can also factor in personality, common interests and similar inclinations.”

“You realize, this means any bond-mate we accept will likely have a smaller dick as well?” she pointed out, which stopped Lamar in his tracks.

“I’m glad we don’t have these issues to cope with,” Ivan said, glancing at his partner, Kaci.

“Yo, Al!” Myi called from farther down the otherwise empty passageway outside their quarters.

The conversation halted as she approached, but accompanying her was a smaller furry creature, looking somewhat chimplike, who was literally scampering along the walls and ceiling. It walked across the ceiling, avoiding anyone larger walking beneath it, jumping to the walls as if it were nothing special. Although it wore distinctive boots, which Al surmised might be magnetic, its hands weren’t so equipped, and it used those as often as it did its feet. As such, since it jumped from one surface to another, it made faster progress than Myi, who hurried to keep up.

Al waved, before opening his door. “I suspect this is going to get involved, so why don’t we move this indoors where we have a little more privacy.”

“Hey, everyone,” Myi called, her words translating as ‘every species’. “Allow me to introduce Chich’k. You didn’t get a chance to meet her the other day, since everyone towered over her and she felt self-conscious dropping hair in people’s drinks. But I thought she’d be perfect for your friends.”

“Ah, so there was an ulterior motive in asking us over?” Kaci asked.

“Yeah, Myi mentioned she had someone you might want to meet,” Al explained, as he stood aside for everyone to enter. “We thought it would be better in our quarters, out of the public eye but with supportive people, just in case.”

Seeing Al motioning everyone in, Chich’k was the first one in, leaping over his head and clearing the doorsill, grasping the ceiling and turning to watch the others enter.

“Please,” Kaci said. “You first. This is going to take a little while to ... process.”

“Sorry to spring this on you, but Chich’k felt slighted, and I thought your common interest in engineering would make you an ideal partnership.

Ivan and Kaci considered the diminutive furry creature. Similar to many Earth primates, she had long arms and fingers. Although humans developed a larger cranium to augment their bigger brains, she carried hers on the back of her head, leaving the otherwise ‘monkey face’ largely intact.

“Pleased to acquaintance you,” she said, though the sound, in her native tongue, was mostly a series of rapid clicks and chitters.

“Pleased to meet you too,” Kaci said, stepping forward and lifting her hand in greeting over her head. “ChiChick, was it?”

“No, no,” Myi corrected, as Chich’k grasped Kaci’s hand. “You have to say it faster, like a giggle or a sneeze, so it’s almost a single syllable.”

“Uh, I hate to state the obvious,” Ivan said, stepping up and ‘shaking’ her hand the same way, “but won’t her small ... stature make physical intimacy difficult?”

“Same difficulty with other creatures all,” Chich’k said, leaping to the floor, before deciding staring at everyone’s crotch wasn’t going to work. She instead leapt to a nearby wall, where she was level with everyone. Upon closer examination, her fingers—long and thin, with only two fingers and an opposable thumb—had small suckers, like octopi, which aided her in grasping and swinging from walls. That allowed her to travel quickly, despite her small size. “All too big for little Chich’k, but she hear you into oral pleasures. She too share these, and,” she held her hands aloft, “small hands delicate areas enter more easily than large organs.”

Ivan and Kaci glanced at one another, crossing their arms and fidgeting in pace.

“She’s a phenomenal engineer,” Myi hurried to argue, seeing their indecision. “Given her small size, she can access compartments others can’t. Her thin fingers can reach connections you couldn’t, and they’re longer so she can grasp things in tight confines you never could.”

“Not that only,” Chich’k continued. “I warrior mighty in own right. I travel through alien ships via ductwork, surprise rather than attack outright. No one takes me seriously, until I’m on them, moving too quickly to strike.” To prove her point, she leapt from the wall, to ceiling to floor to the far wall before ending up on the ceiling again, almost too fast for the eyes to follow. “Laser knife equipped, few last such onslaught against.”

“Okay, I’ll concede she may be handy as a technician, but there are certain ... physical limitations we’ve got to acknowledge,” Ivan protested.

In answer, she hung from the wall by one hand, taking out three nuts from her mouth with the other. “Chich’k handle larger things than have you easily.” The nuts she held were large, easily the size of small oranges.

“How did you manage all of that with those in your craw?” Kaci asked.

“Easy. Ancestors stole eggs from nest of dangerous animals. Store in mouth to eat later. One distract animal. When he chase to tree, which climb able not, others rush nest, lay trap. When creature return, capture parents too.

“Our speed quick allow us fool larger creatures, provide for develop intellectual greater. With brains bigger, we outwit. Soon take on all comers, afraid of none, regardless of size.”

“You can seriously handle someone ... this big?” Ivan asked, holding his fingers a short distance apart.

“More realistically, about this large,” Kaci said, providing a more realistic estimate.

“Not even limit speech.” She reached into a pouch, pulled something out and popped them between her lips. “Finger, mouth,” she said, indicating the actions with her finger in case he was doubtful.

Curious, Ivan stepped forward, doing as instructed. His knees almost buckled. “Holy...”

“What’s she do?” Kaci approached, trying to see what was happening.

“Here, you try it,” Ivan said, yanking his finger out. Chich’k just smiled, keeping her mouth closed, forcing Kaci to press her finger against her lips, pressing it inside.

“Damn! Can you do that with other items?”

Chich’k pulled Kaci’s finger from her lips.

“Wow! Alright, I’m voting we give her a try. What’s in your mouth?”

“Small creature our planet from. Useful underwater items fix. Largely fluid, wrap around implements, apply pressure, manipulate.” She spit it back into her hand and quickly transferred it back into her pouch. “Smurl’k intelligent, mutual-beneficial relationship have we.”

“Well, thank Smurl’k for us,” Kaci said, examining her finger. “We could have used those on Earth, or whenever our bond-mates are busy.”

“Useful repair water generation unit,” she said, watching Ivan. “Squeeze through miniscule opening, bring lost items out.”

“What about you?” Ivan asked.

“Me like oral too.”

“So, you don’t mind Kaci and I ... screwing, while you can’t?”

“I participate where can. I still play.”

“So what do you think?” Kaci asked.

“Small fingers too help,” Chich’k offered,” holding her long digits up, swirling them around, giving Kaci all sorts of ideas.

“What can I say? She’s intelligent, shares the same interests, is quick witted, can help out, and will be useful anytime we have trouble, and she’s sexy as hell.” Ivan hesitated. “Would we need to bond with Smurl’k, too?”

She shook her head. “No, she rely on me for survival, used each other to. After we bond—”

“If we bond,” Kaci reminded her.

“ ... she get comfortable with you, but still listen me. We species bind long ago.”

“But, if anything were to happen to you, would we be able to ... care for her?” Ivan asked.

“Or if you become ill, could we care for her until you recover?” Kaci added.

“Not hard, but not live as long as we. I can bond with new, you ... not much so.”

Ivan looked her up and down. “And what’s your lifespan?”

She shrugged, waving her hand. “Ninety, one-hundred ten years.”

Ivan whistled. “Wow! That’s a lot more than I expected.”

“With our aids, our own lives are extended to around 150 years, barring accidents, of course,” Al offered. “You’ve got stop thinking in terms of normal human lifespans.”

“Longer than that,” Myi said. “Aids can repair damaged cells. Those that can’t, can often be regenerated.”

“Is that available to everyone?” Xi asked, intrigued.

“Sadly no, cost is ... prohibitive.”

“I still say, Smurl’k is a much handier pet than a cat,” Kaci ventured.

“And more cooperative too,” Ivan said.

“Say what you?” Chich’k prompted.

“I’m in,” Ivan announced. “We’ll need to schedule a date, like Al and his women had, but I’m looking forward to it. I suspect this is going to work out well for everyone involved.

“I’m curious,” Etta said. “Despite the variety we saw at the party, the ones we spoke with seem somewhat sexually compatible with humans. Is that by design, or is there some commonality between the various species?”

Myi shook her head. “Your sexuality with penises and vaginas is not common at all. However, everyone wants this extra pair-bonding experiment to work, so we chose to put our best candidates forward. Al had a point before, about there being certain consistent elements in most advanced life forms, but that includes more variety than you humans are accustomed to. Even then, we had to resort to others like Chich’k, who had at least some components of sexual compatibility, offset by other common interests, which hopefully will make up the differences.”

“That explains a lot. I thought it odd so many of you widows were so similar to us physically.”

“Now that that’s out of the way, how’s your situation going?” Al asked Lamar and Mui.

“We’re meeting with the widowers tomorrow. There’s ... a lot of interest.” Lamar glanced at his bond-mate, “Though I suspect not everyone will work out.” He turned to Myi. “I’m assuming bisexuality is rarer among the Tandorians than homosexuality?” She nodded, so he continued. “In that case, there are probably more gays interested than true bisexuals.”

“You’re not a true bisexual,” Mui reminded him.

“There is that, but I think it’s safer sticking with someone who’s interested in us both,” Lamar said, kissing her hand.

“What about the others?” Kaci asked, the two of them standing beside Chich’k, who now stood on the ceiling between them. “When’s the next ‘date’?”

“Gary and Del are getting together with Sisslistr tonight,” Betty said. “They’re looking forward to it, as they’ve been talking frequently.

“And Eli, Zita and Bisectl, and Theo, Etta and Adulla join each other the next night,” Xi added.

“Whatever happened with you and Lizkrr?” Kaci asked, hoping for some interesting gossip.

Lamar shrugged. “We got along well, but it just didn’t work out. Somehow, neither Mui nor I could envision someone’s horns as a sexual organ. It didn’t seem particularly ... romantic or endearing.”

“That’s what our experts insisted was needed for the secondary pair-bonding process,” Etta said, glancing at Al, Betty and Xi.

“Plus her skin gave me a rash,” Mui added, scratching her arm.

“She said lotion would minimize the splinters,” Lamar reminded her.

“But in either case, we remain friends despite deciding it wouldn’t work. She ... taught us a bunch about the ... Tandorian LGBTQ community.” Mui lowered her voice, although everyone could still hear. “They have a hell of a lot more sexual categories than we ever imagined!”

“I can imagine, our first date with Myi was eye-opening,” Betty said. “Still, we wouldn’t trade her in for all the vexxels in Rankor!”

Everyone laughed, even those with no clue—like Betty herself—what those were or where they were from.

“Ah, Sisslistr,” Gary said, open the door to their quarters. “Please come in, we’ve been waiting for this opportunity to get together.”

Instead of entering, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. Delilah, equally as excited to finally get to know her better, stood back and watched, fascinated at the change in what they’d been led to believe was a standard Tandorian point of view.

When the brief kiss ended, and Sisslistr pulled back, Gary grinned, but still raised a questioning brow, which she’d already learned how to interpret. “I’ve heard you humans are into oral pleasures. That was just to let you know I don’t object. While I’m not as familiar with them, everything we’re doing is completely new, so I’m not about to refuse anything. If I don’t like something—or I start acting goofy—we’ll know not to try it again. At least then, we’d both have learned something.”

“I’m glad to see you’re already thinking creatively,” Del said, coming forward to greet her with a kiss of her own. “Though as Betty aptly demonstrated, sometimes we don’t know what the hell we’re talking about! We can save the more intimate kisses for later, when we know these are still safe.”

“It’s wonderful joining you, Del. But that’s something else I want to change. Sisslistr is what everyone calls me. It’s hardly fitting for two people who are changing my world so much. You each use short pet names, I want you to call me Siss in the same tradition. It’ll be a private sign of how much we mean to each other, that the rest of the ship doesn’t need to know.”

“I must say,” Gary said as the women entered and he closed the door, the panels meeting in the middle with a firm twang, “you’re full of your own surprises. I take it you widows have been talking among yourselves?”

“Oh, we have, which is the other thing I want to say, and this is important. We’ve been gossiping about you. We haven’t said a word to anyone outside our little circle. And I’m not about to file any kind of report. But when I pressured Mryzzl on what you’re up to, she said: ‘They are planning something, but I’m not about to violate their trust. But don’t worry, I’ll tell them that I vouch for you, and that you can be trusted with the information.’”

“That’s very nice,” Delilah countered, “but you’re putting us in a bit of a bind, as we can’t confirm that at the moment. You didn’t give her a chance to contact us first.”

“I know, but I’m excited to discover what it is. Your suggestions have changed everything we understand, so I’m eager to learn what you’re doing.” Siss paused, looking worried. “Unless I’ve unintentionally alerted everyone by talking about it too much.”

Del hugged her, holding her until she relaxed. “Don’t worry. You always need to be careful what you say in public, but in terms of the authorities tracking your thoughts, we took care of that when we first met. Well, at least when we first took an interest in you. You’re free to think whatever you want. No one is going to come pounding on your door.”

“What’s more,” Gary said, guiding them to their seats, “as more people start to excel at their jobs because of our influence, the authorities will want to foster that same productivity. Which means, they’ll begin trusting creative thinkers again. When you propose new approaches, earning promotions and rewards, they’re likely to give the rest of you the same latitude they’ve given us. Assuming they don’t get any reports about a planned revolt.”

“And of course, they won’t hear anything bad from you, because your aids won’t report it,” Del added.

“Damn, this is why you’re all so exciting. You have so many new ideas, and they all seem to work so well. It’s like everything I’ve ever been told about how to act and what to think has been a lie. You’ve lifted the fog from my eyes, allowing me to see an entirely new way of doing things.”

“That’s just it,” Gary said, as they sat on their short couch. “We’re not telling you what to think. The Tandorians were much better at welcoming newcomers and fostering new ideas than we ever could be. But it’s just that, in the current crisis, they seem to have lost their way. We’re not dictating how you should think or behave. We’re trying to convey what we’ve observed about how this one technology has so radically altered your society. The aids weren’t intended to restrict you like this. They were to help you. We’re hoping to restore that balance—which is their design—once again. That’s the only way we’re going to win this unending war. We need to get the Tandorians thinking creatively, like Tandorians again.”

“I can hardly stand it,” she said, glancing between the two of them, her long neck twisting around, even though her body barely shifted. “What is this devious plot you’ve got in the works?”

Gary and Delilah traded looks, reassuring each other more than anything, since they’d already discussed it as soon as she first broached the subject. “It’s simple. We’ve reactivated the AI from our original ship, and installed it here on the Blissful Destruction.”

“Ah! That explains all the work with the electrical relays and conduits. But, how did you connect the two AIs together without them reacting to one another?” Siss’s snakelike strands of hair were moving around, her nervous excitement animating them.

“Simple, we never connected them. Instead, we rewired the sensors to run through our AI so he can record them independently. They then pass through into the Blissful Destruction‘s AI so he can process them.”

“But ... why? That’s a huge risk to take, if you’re not trying to achieve something bigger.”

Del grinned, since she didn’t seem to react to the fact they’d effectively hijacked the entire ship’s operations for their own agenda.

“That’s not quite as simple. Despite what everyone assumes, it’s all a misunderstanding. We don’t possess any magical ability to control our aids with our thoughts alone. However, we allowed them to think so, because it gave us more freedom to do things our own way. But this entire voyage is a test to see how we fare against the Zssizliq, who can read our minds from great distances. Since we’re bound to fail, ending in either our immediate death, or eventual humiliation, we used our greater latitude to ensure our success. We took the time to encourage everyone around us to start trying new things, so they’re not all walking in lock step. Now, you’re willing to work hard and take chances by doing something you’d never even considered. That’s how we’re going to succeed if it comes down to a fight between us and the Zssizliq.”

Siss’s snake hair suddenly stilled. “What do you mean ‘if’?”

“The reason why we rewired the sensors, is because we’ve decided the military high command have been lying to everyone all along. Somewhere, something went horribly wrong. Although the Zssizliq have always disliked the Tandorians, we couldn’t find anyone who understood why. Early on, they didn’t behave as they do now. They learned the Tandorian common tongue and taught them to speak theirs. But somehow, they eventually decided the Tandorians couldn’t be trusted, and stopped communicating. We intend to uncover why.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” she asked slowly, as if not daring to guess on her own.

“By seeking them out and requesting they personally meet with us,” Del answered. “If they refuse, we’ll have the battle everyone expected anyway, and they’ll read our minds as we knew they would. But if they’re willing to come clean to a new clan, who’s only marginally affiliated with Tandorians, we hope to crack the secret to what’s truly driving this conflict.”

“We’re hoping that, with that knowledge, we can broker a temporary truce,” Gary said. “If we can accomplish that, we can use it to enter into negotiations.”

“If that works out, everyone on the ship will be regarded as heroes. In the short term, it means a limited cessation in the hostilities, allowing the high command to refocus their resources where they’re most needed. In the longer term we can hopefully prevent both sides from actively intruding into the other’s territory and restarting the conflict.”

“Wow! That’s a lot to take in.”

“Nonsense,” Gary said. “You’re all very smart women. You guessed most of it already. You just weren’t prepared to make the final logical leap. You know how we don’t dance around potential problems, but instead confront them head on, trying new approaches. Surely you didn’t think we’d quietly face failure by doing exactly what everyone expected us to, did you?”

Siss’s squared her shoulders, and each of her snake-like extensions took on a more authoritative approach, as well. “Your actions have worked so far, and it’s clear you’ve invested a lot of time and thought in this one, so I’m convinced you’re on to something. Even if you’re wrong, and we’re heading into disaster, I’d rather we attempted something new and failed than die never having tried anything at all. I’m in. There was never really any doubt, but I just couldn’t guess what you were trying to accomplish. I suspected you had a new strategy, but I thought you were planning new tactics.”