Chapter 20: Bed

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

“Mmm. Mm”

...

“Mm. Karen, you taste so sweet. Let me.”

“You’d better. I don’t think I could handle this.”

“Y’mean that they don’t design wedding dresses to be taken off all alone? Who’dathunk?”

“Have I ever mentioned, Jeff, that you have a dirty mind?”

“Have you ever skipped an opportunity to mention it? Now, you should hang it up. I’ll start on me.”

“Looks like you could use help with those, too.”

“First turn around. Now, that’s better.”

“Your hands are chilly.”

“Now, you were going to help with the studs.”

“Topless? I should have known.”

“You, my bride, are hardly topless. It’s just that your top looks even better without the restriction of a bra. Why don’t you deal with the studs while I deal with the nubbins?”

“Aren’t we going to get to bed?”

“Ultimately. That’s really new, isn’t it. We’ll have a bed from now on out. Now, I’ll do the rest ... Now, you.”

“Aren’t you going to hang up your stuff?”

“It’s rented. Lie down. Mmmm.”

“Jeff!”

“He said I could.”

“He? Who?”

“‘You may kiss your bride.’”

“There?”

“That’s where you’re my bride. Mmph.”

“Oh Jeff! Oh, Jeff, no ... Oh Jeff, yes ... Oh, Jeff! ... OH!”

...

“Oh, Karen. So warm, so wet ... We’re really married.”

“Do that again.”

“This?”

“Oh, yes. You going to pretend we never did this before?”

“Well, I never fucked my wife’s sweet cunt before.”

“Have I ever mentioned that you have a dirty mouth? ... Oh!”

“That wasn’t what you were saying a couple of minutes ago ... Like this?”

“Yes ... Yesss! ... AAH!”

“Yes! God! DAMN!”

...

“Isn’t married sex supposed to be boring, Jeff?”

“That’s after the honeymoon. And we can lie here touching each other all night.”

“Says the man who isn’t on the wet spot. Well, it’s your job to turn off the light.”

“Satisfied?”

“Completely. You men are so good at handling technical things like light switches.”

“And why am I now on the wet spot?”

“That sort of abstract question is totally beyond me.”