Chapter 23: Runaway

Two mountain ranges, back to back across a continent with a vast high desert between—a desolate wasteland or a fertile playground? When I awoke on Sunday morning facing a wall, I glanced over my shoulder and on the other side of the bed saw Andi, still asleep with her back toward me. I felt a pang of ... regret? No. Guilt. I’d betrayed our friendship. I’d turned my best friend into my lover. My love. And now we each hugged opposite edges of the same bed with a cold chasm between. I could feel a sob welling up in my throat.

Then she turned toward me, her eyes opening a slit and then her smile causing them to crinkle up as she looked fully at me and I rolled toward the center of her bed. We met in the middle with arms wrapping around each other and a kiss that welcomed more than bodies together.

“Hello, lover,” she whispered.

“Good morning, my love,” I answered softly.

“I’m not used to sleeping with someone else in my bed. Cali and I haven’t done it for so long, I’ve forgotten how.”

“Shhh,” I said. “I think it’s something we’ll learn. I felt so alone when I woke up and wasn’t touching you.”

“Oh, darling. Please let us never be alone like that again.”

Romance stories would have us immediately falling together in passionate sex—again—but they never seem to take into account basic needs of the body when it wakes up in the morning. I waited my turn and then used the bathroom after her, seeing the various cleansing products, hair products, and feminine products for the first time with my eyes fully open. I hadn’t seen a sight like that in a long time. When I returned, I was relieved to see that Andi hadn’t dressed and left the room. She sat in bed with a sheet pulled up to her chin, but when she saw me, she let it fall away from her. She took my breath away. The blood drained from the upper half of my body. Half faint, I stumbled back to the bed where she welcomed me into her arms and her body.

As we lay together in the afterglow we whispered softly.

“I could get used to this, you know?” Andi murmured.

“To sex in the morning?”

“That. And to seeing your face when I wake up. To smelling your scent on my pillow. To seeing you come out of the bathroom. To you.”

“I’d like to get used to that. Andi, you know I’ve been married. You know I’ve had a live-in girlfriend. You know I’ve had little trysts. So tell me—why have I never felt this way before? Why have I never woken up in the morning thinking this is where I belong for the rest of my life? Darling, why has it taken me so long to find you?”

“I love you.”

“Oh, and I do love you.”

There was a crash in the kitchen and a cupboard door slammed closed. Andi sat straight up in bed and my heart skipped several beats.

“Oh shit! Cali’s home,” Andi whispered. Before I could respond she pushed a finger against my lips and whispered “Stay!” She jumped out of bed, grabbed the plush robe and fuzzy slippers I saw her in only a few nights ago, and left the room. I didn’t try to listen in, but it was a small house and I couldn’t help but hear the conversation as I got up and quietly pulled on my clothes.

“Honey! I didn’t expect you home so early. Did you have a nice sleepover?” Andi asked. I could imagine her going over to hug her daughter.

“Where did you stash our computer geek? Or did you push him out a window when you heard me?”

“Cali! What do you mean?”

“Mom, it’s okay. I know Dag was here all night.”

“And how would you know that, miss know-it-all?”

“All my life there’s never been a time when you didn’t hear me come in at night and say hi,” she answered. “Not in all my life have you not been up waiting when I came home.”

“Cali, I thought you spent the night at Alex’s house.”

“I couldn’t, Mom. It was really super-nice of Alex. I mean, they really wanted me to come, but I just couldn’t do it. I mean ... I’m just not ready. After the strike party we all went to Denny’s and I asked her to drop me off before they went home.”

“But that would have been at...”

“About 1:00.”

“Oh dear.”

“Don’t worry, Mom. You were quiet. I went right to sleep.” I’d finished dressing and was debating whether to try to sneak past or just boldly go out and face the music with Andi. I could tell that I needed a shave.

“Honey ... Please, Cali. Understand this. No matter what my relationship is with Dag, you are my daughter and I love you. First. Foremost. And forever.”

“I know, Mom. I was going to make coffee for you, but I dropped the can.”

“We could all go to the Analog if it isn’t too early,” Andi said.

I decided that I could safely walk in now, but I stopped in the doorway as I saw them both on the floor sweeping up spilled coffee grounds.

“Mom, this is real isn’t it? I mean you aren’t just trying to prove something, are you?”

“Prove something? Like what?”

“Like, oh, that you aren’t gay.” I almost choked on my own tongue. I remembered my conversation in the car with Cali a week ago.

“What?!”

“Um, never mind.” Cali saw me in the doorway with a smirk on my face shaking my head. I didn’t expect her to rush on with the next thing she said. “It’s just that you’ve never had a boyfriend before, Mom.”

“Well, it’s a little early to call him a boyfriend.” Cali looked straight at me.

“It’s a little late to deny it.” Andi followed her gaze and jumped half out of her robe when she saw me.

“Agh! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“I didn’t sneak,” I laughed.

“I turned around and you were just there.”

“I walked in from the next room.” I avoided saying the word bedroom.

“You didn’t make any noise,” Andi said, now giggling as she came to me and gave me a morning hug in front of her daughter.

“You want me to wear a bell?” I asked. All three of us started laughing. I don’t understand how a hundred-and-ten-pound girl or her almost-as-petite mother can make so much noise walking in bare feet on carpet. I’m sure there were times I could feel the floor shake in my apartment on the third floor next door.

I caught Cali up in our hug as well and suggested we go have coffee at the Analog since there didn’t seem to be any to brew here. Andi went to change and Cali reached up to kiss my cheek.

“Don’t you ever, ever hurt her,” Cali whispered in my ear fiercely. I kissed the top of her head and she slipped out of my arms and followed her mother to the bedroom. She didn’t really whisper when she joined her mother, so I couldn’t help but overhear, even though I couldn’t see what transpired. In fact, I think Cali was speaking loudly enough for me to hear on purpose.”

“Mom. I think I owe you this,” she said.

“What is that for?”

“Well, he paid me back for the tickets you bought.”

“I guess you made a little spending money in the deal then, didn’t you?” They giggled.