Chapter 32

Statistics and Scores

Once we were on our private plane, Steven said, “DAD, I forgot to give David that interview!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll see him again, very soon, I suppose. That reminds me, A lot of sports announcers will likely be calling you ‘The Next Big Thing! And whether or not you win the FedEx title you are exactly that.”

“I lost track sometime during the second round, but you have already broken a half dozen records, with all the birdies and eagles you had. Never being in the rough the entire tournament. Your 55 under of 233 on a course, has likely shocked many golfers and observers.”

“Is it my fault, Dad, if I hit the ball straighter and more consistently than anybody else?”

“It is not your fault. Just remember that golf has been around since the 15^th Century, and the Modern PGA is only 120 years old. The LPGA has only been around since 1937, and Golf at the Olympics started back up in 2016. The point I am trying to make is something my dad said to me a long time ago, “You only need to win by a single shot, any more is showing off!”

“Gee, it really is as simple as that, isn’t it, but I am not going to purposefully go in the rough, or a trap or the water, OK?

He got up and walked around a little, allowing Cory to sit next to me. “You really did make a number a valid points, did daddy really say that?”

I took her by the hand and said, “He could have!”

“I did some figuring, and he could win the FedEx Cup by winning the remaining two events and Matt Kuchar, Rory McIlroy, Bruce Koepka and Dustin Johnson do no better than 15^th place in either of the final two events.”

“Don’t tell him that, Cory!” I was quick to say.

Back at the house for a day, should recharge the batteries. Meeting us at the building where the plane was kept was KT, by herself!

Our luggage was moved to the car, while I gave her a nice big kiss, that both Cory and my son saw.

As she wrote our pilot a check, KT told him where we were heading the day after tomorrow, Medinah, Illinois, and we parted ways. That is only a four hour drive, but we are getting used to going in style.

“Guys,” Cory said, “Here are some interesting stats: Starting with the JMI Event, The Howitzer is 180 out of 180, Greens in regulation. He is averaging only 14 puts per 18 holes, has been in zero traps and roughs, and his average 18 hole medal score is an amazing 61.46.”

When we pulled up to the house, two young ladies, with sparkling red hair ran out through the front door, screaming, “STEVEN!”

Jules hugged the stuffing out of him, then stepped away, and Kel opened her arms and they actually kissed on the mouth for a solid thirty seconds, before Cory pulled him away.

I missed you so much,” the almost seven year old said to her brother who was only 27 months older than she was.

She took him by the hand as we all went inside the house. Steven sat between KT and his sister.

“You know KT, while you are my backup caddy, and my teacher, I missed you a whole lot too!”

She gave him a kiss on the cheek, which is what he had hoped for.

“Has your mother told you all the records you have broken, having only played in two events. The Father/Son doesn’t count.”

“If it did, I would be in first place in FedEx points, wouldn’t I?”

“Yes, that is correct. The most important record you broke was for the Lowest 72-hole Stroke Total. It was 253, shot by Justin Thomas in 2017, you had 244. Did you let up for the last two rounds?”

He looked over at me, and said, “I felt that I was disrespecting the sport and the PGA. All I did was swing at 80percent instead of my usual 100percent.”

“Don’t you just love him?” Kel said taking my hand.

“I suspect many people love him, Kel,” Ms. Tilghman responded.

“You also destroyed the best 9 hole score ever, of your father, with two separate rounds of 20 during your first two rounds of the Northern Trust Tournament.”

“You tied Mark Calcavecchia’s Record of the number of birdies in 72 holes – He had 32 – but, you also had 13 eagles and 27 pars. That should place you first.”

“Lastly, also during the Northern Trust, your first two rounds totaled 112, beating the record of 122 by Troy Matteson.”

“Thanks KT, I’m a little tired.” He said.

“Do you want to eat something first?” his mother asked.

“How about something to drink, Howitzer?” his sister said.

“Sure thing, pretty girl!”

She ran into the kitchen bringing out two Coke Zeros. “Can I nap with him, Mom?”

“Go, you two,” she said with a wave of her hand.

The idea of resting crossed my mind, and I took Cory by the hand, into our soundproof room.

Whether it is long and sweaty or short and satisfying, sex in your own bed is the best!

She climbed on top and rode me for a real long time, and i flipped her over to finish with a blast from the past.

The best!

After a communal shower, we put on some swim suits and went out ... to find everyone else in the pool.

I asked for them to move over so I could swim some laps. Jules asked if she could ride me, like on a dolphin. There was a nod from KT, and i didn’t use flip turns, and we had a great time together. Her giggling was frenetic, but I only lasted three full laps, rolling her off, and coming with her sitting on my shoulders. She turns seven in November, causing her to be two months older than Jules.

I heard a phone ring.

“It’s Feherty, he wants to schedule an interview with our son,” Cory said loudly...

I walked to get the phone with Jules still on my shoulders, and talked to DF for a minute, saying ‘Goodbye!’

“So?” the youngest player on the PGA tour remarked, “When is it?”

“After we show up at the BMW Tournament; remember, this is our day off, OK?”

“Great, thanks Pop!”

“Goes the weasel!” his sister sang to him.

We landed at O’hare International Airport, and taxied to the quiet(er) portion of the world’s busiest airport. There were a number of shuttles for the various nearby hotels. The drivers were holding professionally made signs for the golfers, and one was big and said, “HOWITZER!’

Not on the ground for five minutes and Steven is jacked up. Our things were off-loaded directly to the white limo styled vehicle.

We were alone as we were taken to our hotel, Englewood Resort and Spa. Howitzer wanted to at least hit some balls, so he could play a single practice round before it all begins again.

As good as he is at speaking to the media, we had some practice regarding hecklers and the (potential) of noisemakers who try to distract you while walking to your next shot.

He understood that he wouldn’t be everyone’s favorite to win the BMW Tournament or the FedEx itself.

There were only 70 players left, Medina G&CC was a par 72 – with total yardage of 7267. With KT calling and setting up Mr. F, we had a prime place on the Practice Range.

It was wild when we all walked out of the Pro Shop, after Howitzer got some of the four inch tees he likes: “HOWITZER – HOWITZER – HOWITZER” going on until we had set up to practice.

He used the opportunity to tell the crowds, “Everybody in the tournament deserves to have loud and boisterous fans. If you want some of us to hurt ourselves when you scream during our backswing, feel free. There are people here who will take you out and not let you back in. GO AHEAD AND GET IT ALL OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM RIGHT NOW, PLEASE?”

It went from wild to mild, as a few of his fellow golfers were applauding his speech.

We started him with his stick, for five minutes, setup as a lefty and a righty. Cameras, both traditional and phone were almost as annoying, but he was focusing.

When his timer went off, I went to him and asked, “How you feeling, Howitzer?”

“Great!”

“Any anxiety?”

“Nope!”

He began his club swinging with Cory in charge. I walked over to the PGA table and asked who he was playing with?

Whooooie, I couldn’t wait to tell him!

“You are playing with Phil Mickelson and Rickie Fowler, how does that sound, sonny-boy?”

“Excellent, now I’m anxious, dad!”

“Good, I think having a bit of nervousness is why you stayed focused and did so well.”

“So, now I am a lab rat?”

I laughed, too loud, but I laughed anyway.

I whispered, “Think of your sister, how much you care for her. That should calm you down.”

“Thanks, that helped,” he said a few minutes later...

“So, can you move from emotion to emotion as you need to?”

He looked at me for a long minute, finally saying, “That was pretty cool, how you did that, Dad. Thanks!”

He went back to his practicing, and every shot was dead straight.

If I can ever remember the teacher at UNLV that taught that to me, I will thank him personally.

Steven has moved up to 19th on the FedEx rankings, which is about all he can do without some help.

For a first round, it appears that we got a very large spectator base. I just hope that they are all pro-Howitzer?

“Bertha, please?” he said plenty loud to Cory, causing all kinds of whoops and cheers from those watching.

He teed one up on his four inch tee, took a few easy swings...

“You da man, Howitzer!”

... his look on his face changed, and he had a hard swing practice, than set up.

His backswing is so smooth, and that point I mentioned earlier came up, and he followed through and possibly hit the cover off the ball. The rattle and the smile came out, and he said quietly to Cory and me, “Bring ‘em On. I’m ready to rumble!”

We were having a practice round with Bryson DeChambeau, Brooks Koepka, and Phil Mickelson.

The stick was hidden away, as Cory took his Bertha and picked up the clubs to walk to the first tee.

“This is possibly the premier practice round of the day. Ladies gentlemen, first up is from Modesto, California. He is turning 30 in September. His name is Bryson DeChambeau!

There was a very loud set of cheers for the 6ft1 player known as the ‘Scientist.’

HOLE 1, PAR 4, 434 YARDS
Bryson was handed a small wood, practiced a few times, than addressed it and it went out to where the slight dogleg left begins. His second shot would be difficult.

“Coming up is considered the most consistent golfer in a while. Originally from West Palm Beach, Florida. He is 32 with 8 PGA Tour wins to date. This is Bruce Koepka!

He planned to hit it out there, taking his driver, practicing a few swings, setup and put it along the right side with an ever so slight fade. He would have a very good angle to the green.

The crowd appreciated his aggressiveness, with a loud roar. He has two majors in only 11 years on the tour. He has a bright future.

“On the tour for 31 years, with 50 professional wins is from San Diego, California. Known as Lefty to many, this is Phil Mickelson!

He is so well known the crowd erupted like a superstar just came out on stage. His 44 PGA Tour wins is 4^th all time. He has won 5 majors. He needs to win a US Open for the career Grand-Slam.

He decided to hit a long iron. His swings are still as smooth as when he first started. After addressing the ball, he swung comfortably and it rolled into the right hand rough.

“Despite being only 9 years old, our next golfer was superb playing the Northern Trust with an accumulated 55 under for one of the many golf records he is likely to have. Here is Steven ‘The Howitzer’ Masters.

The crowd suddenly sounded like a lot of children, as they moved in front of their parents and chanted, “Howitzer – Howitzer- Howitzer!”

With the hole uphill and the dogleg, he was going to play it like Phil, but end up in the fairway.

“BERTHA, Please?”

It was quiet as he teed up his ball, and practiced with a three quarter speed swing. He addressed the shot, and dropped it in the middle of the fairway 350 yards out.

During the walk I caught up to my son, “Was that really a three quarter swing?”

“Yep, you got to remember the hole is uphill from the tee to the green, so the best shot is past the dogleg in the fairway.”

“Which you did!”

“Yep!”

I slowed to let them do their thing.

First to hit was Bryson, who had a tree in his sightline. He hit a great shot over it, but was a club short of being on the green.

Brooks hit a nice smooth 8 iron and landed on the green with a likely difficult putt.

After the PGA official determined Steven was further away, he got a lofted club and gave it that same partially hooded swing I used to do, and it landed below the hole, released and rolled into the cup!

You could hear the kids applauding and yelling.

From a yard closer, Phil punched it out leaving another short pitch left to the green.

My little man, walked up quickly and took his ball from the hole, and got out of the way.

When the hole was done:

Bryson - Birdie
Brooks - Birdie
Phil - Bogie
Howitzer - Eagle

HOLE 2, PAR 4, 413 YARDS
With the honors, and a level surface, plus a shitload of bunkers, Steven hit a blistering driver to only 30 yards short of the green.

“You got a robot in there?” Phil asked.

“No sir, I am 100% humanoid,” he said with a giggle.

If he’s so happy, they are all in trouble.

They all used their driver, with only Phil getting in the trap.

Bryson - Par
Brooks - Birdie
Phil - Par
Howitzer -Birdie

HOLE 3, PAR 4, 445 YARDS
This hole, for someone who goes in the rough a lot, has enough sand to really mess up a good score

Steven hit it as straight as he always does, and Brooks was nearly as straight on his drive. Phil aimed right and it floated to the middle of the fairway. Lastly, Bryson put his in the second cut of rough ... oops!

Bryson - Par
Brooks - Birdie
Phil - Birdie
Howitzer -Birdie

Since Howitzer wasn’t tearing up the course this time, he was staying very level headed. I wasn’t like that at 9 years old. If I hit a bad shot, people around me heard my displeasure. Thankfully, I didn’t curse. Dad would have none of that.

At the end of the front nine:

Bryson – four under
Brooks – six under
Phil – four under
Howitzer - seven under

He has got a tough set of golfers this time, and I heard his mother telling him, “Remember this is only a practice. It doesn’t matter. It’s like if you see two dogs who have just met for the first time. They walk around each other, smell each other, just in case something big happens between them.”

That made him laugh, as I got us some hot dogs and a cold Coke Zero.

Our hot caddy came out, took a bite of Stevens hot dog, and we were on our way.

HOLE 10, PAR 4, 444 YARDS
This hole has a rather narrow fairway, with bunkers and sycamore trees, and a lake! The green is also quite difficult if you aren’t being careful.

Phil has the honors, stroking a beautiful 2 iron that ended in the middle of the fairway.

Brooks was more careful, he put his drive 10 yards from the lake but had a nice shot left.

Bryson used a long iron, with a draw to keep away from the trees. Cory and Steven were having a discussion, that my son appeared to have won.

A daring shot, using driver off the tee, without a tee. That must mean he was going to keep it low and fast.

She made sure he was aiming where he wanted, then he addressed it ... and that ball carried about 275 yards, then bounced high once and rolled until it stopped on the green, but it looked like a very long uphill putt.

That was the kind of shot, Lee Trevino would have loved to have seen.

The other golfers all got birdies, leaving the drama of my son trying for his first ever Albatross. I held the pin as Cory and he looked at it, and discussed it. I wanted to yell “Never Up – Never In!”

I made sure I was out of his eyeline, when he put his putter behind the ball. It was as quiet as two hundred people could be.

The way he swung at it, I figured he was going over the green, but it did go past the pin on the right, up into the first cut of the grass, then it started moving downhill and by god, it broke to its right, and rolled hard into the cup.

I couldn’t believe what I saw, neither could the crowd, as he walked to the pin with a great stride, and picked the ball out of the cup.

It felt like an 18^th green moment, but he got a very sincere “Great Putt” from his peers.

Bryson - Birdie
Brooks - Birdie
Phil - Birdie
Howitzer -Eagle

Mam oh man, was I a proud papa!

I calmed him down by talking a few seconds about his sister, and he thanked me.

He was confident through the rest of the back nine, never out of the fairway, never in a trap for a practice round of 13 under. Just the score to go to bed with.

We all shook hands with one another, while Cory took in our original scorecard, making a copy like she has been doing for a very long time.

He was given lots and lots of kudos, with those young kids all wanting his autograph.

I was close enough to hear many variations of “I’m going to learn golf, it looks like fun!”

“Wow!” Steven said about every mile back to where we were staying.

Once in the room, Steven got right on the phone to his sister, “Hey Beautiful.” were his first two words, and we kept from hearing any more of it.

I was only an observer and I was beat. Once his call was over, we all dropped for a very worthy before dinner nap.

Not all professional golfers shoot practice rounds, so of the scores of the day, the leader, by one, was Steven ‘Howitzer’ Masters.

After taking showers and changing, we took a taxi to the closest Red Robin Gourmet Burgers and Brews. where upon our entrance was a sound of “HOWITZER!”

That really made Steven smile.

A manager by the name of Charlie came up to us and said, “We had hoped you might come by, Masters Family. Steven, where would you like to sit?”

Never having been asked before, he made it a moment and said, “How about somewhere in the middle, please?”

He handed a very cute young lady three menus, and said, “This is our best waitress. Her name is Kelly. She will be your server this evening.”

You talk about Karma!

Upon opening our menu, there was a section called ‘The Masters Favorites’ with the ever famous Johnny Masters Burger, and there was, in print, “The Steven Masters Burger” that came with exactly what he had ordered all those times. He couldn’t believe while Cory and I were in tears.