Chapter 29

THE JMI RETURNS

Here are the 72 golfers that were invited:

Adam Hadwin
Adam Scott
Alex Noren
Alexander Levy
Angel Cabrera
Anthony Kim
Bill Haas
Brandon Grace
Brandon Stone
Brandt Snedeker
Brian Harman
Brooks Koepka

Bryson DeChambeau
Bubba Watson
Cameron Champ
Charl Swartzel
Charles Howell Iii
Charley Hoffman
Cheng Tsung Pan
Chris Wood
Daniel Berger
Davis Love Iii
Dustin Johnson
Ernie Els

Fabrizio Zanotti
Francesco Molinari
Grayson Murray
Henrik Stenson
Hideki Matsumaya
Ian Poulter
Jason Day
Jason Dufner
Jb Holmes
Jim Furyk
Jimmy Walker
Jon Rahm

Jordan Spieth
Justin Rose
Kevin Chappell
Kevin Kisner
Kevin Na
Kevin Streelman
Kyle Stanley
Lee Westwood
Lucas Glover
Luke Donald
Marc Leishman
Matt Kuchar

Matthew Fitzpatrick
Padraig Harrington
Pat Perez
Patrick Reed
Paul Casey
Phil Mickelson
Rickie Fowler
Rory McIlroy
Ross Fisher
Ryan Moore
Ryo Ishikawa
Sean O’Hair

Sergio Garcia
Shane Lowry
Tony Finau
Steve Stricker
Stewart Cink
Tyrrell Hatton
Tiger Woods
Tommy Fleetwood
Wesley Bryan
Xander Schauffele
Yuta Ikeda
Zach Johnson

In the event people became unavailable, or have issues:

Graeme McDowell
Ryan Fox
KT Kim
Jaco Van Zyl
George Coetree
Johnny Masters

Steven Masters

(I won’t play unless over five back out)

Something very exciting about this list is how many names are new to me, since I left so many years ago.

Also, this wasn’t just the top 72 on the World Ranking ... Cory, Kelley T, and I researched and took a significant amount of time to create the JMI Top 72!

I even had a mini-disagreement with the ladies over asking Tiger to come. He is turning 47, has had leg injuries, back injuries, trouble romantically, and with the police. However, I felt he, deserved the opportunity.

Hell, he came back and won the FedEx Cup in 2017 and the 2019 Masters. Damn that was exciting to watch with my little girl in my arms and Steven at my feet like I used to do with my dad.

My god, he has won 87 tournaments to date, with a total of 17 Majors to date.

He may refuse, but I still love and respect the man for what he did for golf. He and I, are still the only two golfers to hold all four majors at the same time. According to Golf Digest, he has earned over $804,566,709 from 1995 to now.

I hope he is ready for the Cannon to return?

Cory updated our JMI website, putting a schedule and the payout online, after Commissioner Moynihan approved of my six-day adventure, and record setting payday!

Cory, with my advice, made it very clear that this was at our invitation, and only those in the best condition should attempt to participate in this 108 holes of golf only three weeks after the Masters! Back in 2019, The Players Championship was moved to before the Masters, leaving me a place for the JMI to fit back in.

I got a phone call from an elderly gentleman with a very recognizable Irish brogue, “CANNON!”

“DAVID!” I said, “How is my favorite atheist?”

“Hell, if I know ... you know that your first place in this tournament is more than I made in my entire career as a player?”

“Is there any kinescope of you playing while riding on a dinosaur still around?” I said back to him.

That made him laugh out loud.

We did have seven from our 72 unable to make it, so, besides the five backups, so I added The Cannon and the Howitzer Masters to the list.

To those who called me directly, I said, “The particulars are on the website, with a hotel only 100 yards from the entrance to the golf course. Multi-Billionaire Michael Thomas, is making it available for the JMI players, spouses, and caddies. Bring the whole family; there is a theme park, plus lots to do all over the place.”

Tiger did call to say he would be there and couldn’t wait to play the longest golf course in the world. I knew that would get him here.

I got up, closed the door to our recently renovated bedroom now completely soundproofed. All of them were these days. Mom and John appreciated that! No more socks on the doorknobs was all I asked.

With my lovely wife back on the pill, I pushed her on the bed, reached in and pulled her panties off, tearing them in the process. I began a very slow and deliberate pussy chewing of my sister/wife making her shiver and tremble underneath me. I was taking my time, wanting to hear her moan, and tell me how she feels.

I have asked her to be more vocal, and she is still a work in progress, but I invaded her with my long tongue and heard her say, “Ohhhh, Dear Gooooood!”

I kept at what I was doing, even though she came inside my mouth, a true delicacy.

She was so worked up, she practically screamed, “I NEED YOU TO FUCK ME HARD, PLEASE?”

That got me off her pussy with my mouth, and I knew she was wet enough, so I made a slick move and filled her up with my hard dick, and we got kissing and fucking at a fast and furious pace.

She rolled me on my back for a while, then I rolled her back on hers. We went back and forth like we had not fucked in a year, but it had only been two weeks.

I finished on top, when I felt that fabulous feeling and decided to not tell her what was about to happen. I went back to a most furious fucking pace and broke loose making a loud groan as her face went aglow and she said, “I feel you pumping me full of your baby juice, do you want more babies, baby?”

Taking a deep breath, I said, “We are about to start back up on the Tour, there’s no time, is there?”

“Steven could become your caddy, couldn’t he?”

“He would love that, but I would miss you!”

Now, we were back to breathing normally, so, I got off her, went and got her a towel, and helped her to the toilet.

“Don’t worry, Johnny, I am still taking the pill. I was just asking?”

“I am not against the idea,” I said. “June is the best time for us, so you would have the baby before the Players, Masters, and the JMI.”

“Of course, you are right,” she said to me.

We took a couple’s shower and changed into swim wear to go in the pool. We found Kelley T, Mom, and the three kids in it already.

Steven was surrounded by Jules and his sister, I got in between Mom and Kelley T, and Cory got on KTs other side.

“Cannon,” Kelley T said, “Did you notice that the USGA changed the HANDICAPPING at your new home course?”

“Yeah, that makes sense, it’s been around long enough for a change to happen. Number 3 is now the ‘easiest’ on the North nine, while 6 is the ‘toughest,’” I responded.

North 9 – 4,485 Yards – Par 38
South 9 – 4,555 Yards – Par 39
West 9 – 4,790 Yards – Par 37
“Is it still the longest course in the world, Dad?” Steve asked, with an arm on the shoulders of his sister and half-sister.

“Sure, and it will be for a while, I suspect,” I said. “Mom, where’s Dad?”

“Well, you know that before he was an OB-Gyn specialist, he was what used to be called a GP, or a General Practitioner ... he has become a GP to Michel Thomas and his immediate family. With that happening, he has gotten busy, which he loves. I don’t mind at all, he loves me practically as much as your biological dad John did.”

“Isn’t life funny, Mom,” I said. “You spend all those years together with John Masters. Have two kids, who fall in love and find a way to pretend to be married. Along the way, you go to a doctor and ‘What do you know,’ you fall in love again. And his name is John. What are the odds for something like that to happen?”

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Cory said. ‘We have the same doctor the richest man in the world does.”

All the adults laughed, with Steve and his mini-harem joining in with giggles.

“Dad, if Kel and I stay a ‘covert couple’ as you call it, and we fall in love like you and Cory did, is there a way that we can do what you did?”

Dear God!

I deferred answering that, noticing that Jules was looking sad.

Also, since I left the tour, the LPGA Tournament I developed fell by the wayside.

With my sponsors now including the GSSAA, I wondered if the ladies would once again like a nice big payday just for themselves.

“Ms. Tilghman, has the LPGA ever had a five-day tournament?”

“Are you thinking again, Cannon?” she fired back, causing the kids to all laugh. “The answer to your question is No, not intentionally. There have been a few four-day events that needed a Monday to determine a winner.”

“What’s your idea, Cannon?” she said.

“Three or four person teams from the same country, playing Cory Stableford. There are plenty of ladies from the USA, South Korea, China, Australia, Canada, England and many more countries. We could invite anyone who could put together a team of LPGA Ladies, then play it as a country vs country event, starting on a Wednesday thru Sunday. I am sure we could convince our sponsors to get us enough for the ladies to also have the biggest payday of the year.”

“Great idea, Johnny,” KT said. “Want me to move on that?”

“Please do!”

I was part of the final starting tee time for the first day of the 2024 Johnny Masters Invitational now being played on the final full weekend in April!

It started on Tuesday April 23^{rd, 2024} on NBC (All Day on the Golf Network, Sat & Sun all day on NBC), at 7am EST.

Davis Love III, having just turned 60, pulled a leg muscle during his warmup and was unable to play. Sergio Garcia, at 44 got mad and broke a club against a tree and it bounced back hitting him in the chest. Lee Westwood, almost 50, did something to his back during his practice round. Angel Cabrera, 34, stepped into a sprinkler hole, and Charly Hoffman didn’t show up!

To fill out the field to a full 72 players, was amateur Steven ‘Howitzer’ Masters and yours truly. The foursomes involved were realigned, and the ‘Cannon’ and the ‘Howitzer’ played together.

I pulled him aside and gave him a few instructions: “Don’t yell, or curse, no matter how good or bad, don’t run, and ‘You are playing as an amateur, which means even if you win the tournament ... you get no money!’”

The first foursome off the tee was:

Rickie Fowler
Pat Perez
Anthony Kim
Bubba Watson

Every twenty minutes another foursome went off. Only ten minutes behind schedule, at 11:55 the final foursome went off the first tee:

Dustin Johnson
Jon Rahm
Johnny Masters
Steven Masters

The West Nine

Par 37 – 4790 Yards

1^ST HOLE - PAR 4 - 519 YARDS

“In our final foursome of the day, there are some heavy hitters, starting with the winner of 8 World Golf Championship events, having won a tour title for 17 consecutive seasons for a total of 26 events on the PGA Tour, from Columbia, South Carolina ... Dustin Johnson!”

A very healthy applause came from all around him, deservedly so.

“This is a four par, Johnny?” he questioned me.

“There are six, four pars longer than this one on the 27 holes Jack made,” I answered back. Some scattered laughter.

He got out his driver and laced it about 330 yards down the middle. His swing speed has slowed marginally.

“Next up, born in Barnika, Spain, having gone to Arizona State University, with 5 wins so far on the PGA Tour and 6 on the European tour ... Jon Rahm (Rodriguez).”

Not terribly well known despite his record, he got a nice applause as he had a non-driver in his hand.

He has a great setup and put one out nearly 300 yards despite it being less than a driver.

“Next up, the host of this golf tournament, winner of 9 Major golf tournaments, prior to taking a self-imposed five-year retirement, to spend all of his money and have a son and a daughter. He attended UNLV, before getting an exemption to play on the tour. The PGA Tour hasn’t been the same since, with more than 25 golf courses adding yards and yards to their overall length, so he and the other long-hitters have some challenges. Ladies and Gentlemen ... Johnny ‘The Cannon’ Masters!”

Wow! did they respond, even the other golfers.

Handing me Bertha, Cory said, “No Mercy,” for all to hear.

“Are they off the green?” I asked, ready for my endorphins to be released. The hole is level and the wind is slight and behind me.

The crowd chuckled, until I heard, “All Clear, Cannon!”

The fairways were hard, so a good solid drive has a chance. I was loose and limber and I hit it just about perfectly, waiting... ‘It’s on the green,’ a spotter said.

“Gee Whiz, Dad,” Steven said to a great big laugh as the applause had settled down.

“Lastly, is one of the kids Mr. Masters took time to have. Born in Loveland, Colorado, co-winner of last year’s PNC Father Son Golf Tournament in Florida, turning nine years old in late July, and starting third grade next September, is Steven ‘The Howitzer’ Masters!”

“Cory, could I have Baby Bertha, please?”

He has had five months with this new driver, the clubs are all full length now. With the endorphins running through him, I am not sure what he may be capable of today!

“No Mercy, Howitzer,” his sister said being held by her grandmother.

He teed it up, had a few non-full speed practice swings, addressed the ball, and with a swing reminiscent of the late great Jack Nicklaus, he smacked the cover off the ball, with it flying past Jon’s ball.

Now, he had a big applause along with many people who were totally unaware of him, now becoming wondrous of him.

A cart, with David, Grandma and Kelly followed behind us. Kel was given specific instructions not to yell or say anything. She already broke the spirit of that, but it was OK with me.

Everyone was on in two, not counting me.

I two-putt for 3 pts
Jordan, three-putt for minus 3 pts
Jon, two-putt for minus 3 pts
Steven drained a 32-footer for 3 pts

Cory and I had a conversation with Steven before the round began, making a point of him being a gentleman and a good sport regardless of how well or how poorly he may play.

Cory also would help him ‘come down’ after a great shot or hole, and ‘buck up’ if need be.

2nd HOLE - PAR 5 - 777 YARDS

I had had honors for being first to make a birdie, and I hit Bertha reasonably well, leaving about 380 yards to go.

Steven used his Baby Bertha and hit it about 280, ensuring he would take three to get on. I could see he was upset over his drive.

Jordan hit it past me. So, did Jon. I am somewhat out of competitive practice, but CS scoring helps.

Cory and Steven were quietly arguing until he took his Baby Bertha out and ran it up on the green, twelve feet from the pin. The crowd following us are slowly becoming ‘Howitzer’s Infantry.’

He went up ahead, and marked his ball, and stood beside the green, getting some shout outs from those closest to him. “Quiet, please!” he said, and they shushed.

He has the ear of the people. At least until he has a bad hole!

I one-putt for 3 pts net 6
Jordan, two-putt for minus 1 pt., net 2
Jon, one-putt for 3 pts net zero
Steven made his for 3 pts net 6

There was an electronic scoreboard by the tee to the 3^rd hole, and leading the tournament, with only 18 pts was Matt Kuchar, with 10 golfers at 17 pts This might be the first Stableford golf tournament for many of those I hadn’t previously been following.

After 6 holes:

Johnny Masters, 14 pts
Jordan Spieth, 4 pts
Jon Rahm, Zero pts
Steven Masters, 9 pts

With his slight accent, Jon said, “This scoring method, the Stableford, does not like me very much.”

“Don’t let it get inside your head,” Jordan said, “It’s a new course and a different kind of scoring. This is only the first day, of six.”

“With the way everyone else is scoring, I could be one of the first cut,” Jon said. “Steven, how many times in the last year have you played this course?”

He looked over at me, and I nodded at him, and he answered, “Over one hundred, Mr. Rahm.”

“May I ask what your best score, medal has been?”

He looked at me again, saying, “A 68 playing the west and north nines, three times, Sir! That would be seven under.”

“Madre de Dios,” he said.

“What does that mean?” Howitzer asked.

“Mother of God, it is an expression of surprise and amazement. You are only eight years old and play so well, I expect great things as you grow up, Mr. Masters!” he extended his hand as it was time to play on.

Carefully, Steve and he shook hands.

“It’s your honor, Dad!” he said to me

7th HOLE - PAR 5 - 694 YARDS

(The new most difficult hole on all three nines, as determined by the USGA and the PGA of America)

After the four drives, the first of the second shots was Steven’s. Boy, besides being so confident, his style is only getting better.

He finishes every shot like he is posing, something Kelley T taught him. With a 2 iron, he placed it perfectly for his third from 140 away.

After the other guys all came up sort of the green, my son hit a 6 iron, that hit hard just before the green itself, and it released to go into the goddamn cup, for an eagle!

He knew what to do and raised his club up in the sky as thousands of hands and voices made noise ... for my son!

He was hopping in place a little, but his mother settled him down. We came up on Jordan’s ball, he said, “I want him as a partner in the future, Johnny, please?”

Before I could say it, Steven remarked, “Have your people call our people, Jordan!”

That was heard and laughed at by our crowd.

Jordan hit a great shot, landing it six feet past the hole.

Twenty paces further, was Jon’s turn, and he hit a very hard five iron, just on the green, but with a straight-ish uphill putt to go.

My shot was a hard, pitching wedge, and it landed beside the hole and stayed there.

Everyone had 4’s except for the future of golf, who had a natural eagle.

He took a quick trip to see his sister and grandma, giving them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s your honor, Howitzer,” I said to him, which started a chant, ‘Howitzer, Howitzer, Howitzer!’

His mother calmed him down.

8th HOLE - PAR 4 - 544 YARDS

Being relatively straight, he teed the ball up, and used Baby-Bertha, with the result being a beautiful shot that hit the top of the trap on the left and rolled into the fairway leaving him a great second shot! He birdied and seemed upset.

After nine holes, with Cory taking Kel to the bathroom, our foursome was at:

Johnny Masters, 22 pts
Jordan Spieth, 5 pts
Jon Rahm, 5 pts
Steven Masters, 20 pts

The scoreboard showed that I was in first and my son was tied for second with seven others. Both Jordan and Jon were indeed in danger of missing the first cut. They needed some birdies, and possibly an eagle or two. Jon is ranked 17^thin the world, having been 6^th for a while in late 2017.

When Cory rejoined us, she quietly told us that we both shot a 10 under par 27 on the front nine. Steven had no clue, but she also told him to keep playing smart. She said that our son was actually concerned about Jon.

On the front nine, Jon had a 32 to Jordan’s 33.

The South Nine

Par 39 - 4555 YARDS

#1 (10^th)HOLE - PAR 4 - 384 YARDS

Jon was licking his chops, with the shortest 4 par on the grounds. I had honors, so I took my four wood, set up for a draw due to the dogleg that hid the green from the tee and swung very easy.

“It’s on the green!”

The hole has water in front, and surrounded by four traps, two on each side. You can’t bounce it in on this hole.

After listening to Cory explaining the smart way to play it, the Howitzer got out his four wood, and hit it hard leaving it eighty yards short of the water. Playing for a par, smart kid! The hard fairways and greens are really helping his game.

Both Jon and Jordan were on the green, as we had it surrounded on three sides. They had tough hard-breaking putts. I marked my ball, so Steven could play up.

All it took was a half swing with a seven iron and it landed soft and rolled into the cup. He is bound to be the big story on the news. One thing we didn’t talk to him about was if someone wanted to interview him.

As I walked by Cory, I quietly gave her a heads up on talking to the Howitzer. I also gave her my first kiss of the day. The crowd around us went ‘Awwwww!’