Chapter 4

‘She’ held out her arms and the fly embraced the spider.

“Look, I understand. I really do. After my sister killed herself, I felt such loss, more than when my mom overdosed. I was all alone, until the Jackson’s, my foster family, adopted me. Then I was part of a family instead of a temporary boarder.”

“I’m a little too old to be adopted. Are you going to adopt me?”

“If I have to in order to save you.”

“Why?”

“Why save you?”

“I guess.”

“Or is the question, “Why am I worth saving”?”

“I can go for either.”

I found myself being rocked in Kendi’s arms. It surprised me how strong she was. She was holding me, not just containing me, in her embrace.

“Come back to the kitchen and sit with me while I finish. I don’t want to be alone.”

“You?”

‘She’ smiled and walked away. I admired her wonderful round, pale, jiggly bottom and even the string.

“Why don’t you sit and really read this time and I will make lunch. As long as you don’t mind the sight of my butt moving around.”

“I don’t.”

“A good first step.”

I sat at the table and read. She knew I was reading because I had my back to her. I knew I was watching her because I could see her reflection in my laptop screen.

How was it possible for this woman to not be with any number of guys much more worthy than me? She was beautiful and smart and caring. All the things that any real man would find of immeasurable value in a woman were wrapped up in the package that was ‘She’.

“I am smart and sneaky.”

“I know.”

“Then you know that I have noticed that you haven’t changed a page for the past eight minutes and yet you have been staring at the screen.”

“Actually, and honestly, I have been staring into the screen.”

She walked over and bent down to look from my angle and saw the kitchen. She kissed me on the cheek and walked back to the kitchen. She tied a knot on the side of the shirt which hiked up the back of the garment, fully exposing her bottom.

With that she went back about her work in the kitchen. She even cleaned up the mess I had made making toast a few hours before. Coming back to the table her approach brought to mind a phrase that Anais Nin had used for the title of one of her books.

“As soon as you are comfortable, please let me know so I can take off this shirt.”

“I don’t know if I will be comfortable any time soon.”

“Are you scared?”

“No, scarred. Remember?”

“I remember. Let me know.”

“I will.”

We ate a nice salad, with a side plate of huge olives and sliced zucchini and jicama. When we finished, she stood to begin the cleanup.

“May I help?”

“Nope. You just sit there and get comfortable with my butt and bush.”

I did.

Sit there that is.

Comfortable? Couldn’t do it. Not yet. Not yet.

When she was done, Kendi returned to the table and opened her laptop to resume her work.

“Mick, I would normally work while I ate and then finish and go workout. Would you like to join me when I work out?”

“Clothed or unclothed?”

“It is a public room.”

“And?”

“There might be other people there.”

“And?”

“And, I will wear tights and a shirt and even a bra.”

Shit! I hadn’t noticed all day that Kendi wasn’t wearing a bra. She had good-sized breasts and now that she brought it up, I saw the blatant movement under her t-shirt.

“Kendi, I AM sorry.”

“For?”

“Being blind.”

“Blind?”

“You have breasts.”

“Yup since I was about 13.”

“I just noticed them.”

“You noticed them last night.”

“No. I noticed your nipples last night. They were trying to break out of your red sweater and introduce themselves to me.”

“She’ smiled and shook her head.

“I guess I should be flattered that my bottom took so much of your focus.”

“Kendi, I don’t know if I can stay.”

I stood and made my way to the bedroom again. This time I didn’t close the door. I retrieved my back packs and began to re-pack my clothes. I had one bag done and was starting to work on the one with shoes and toiletries when I heard the sound of her throat clearing.

“Take off your clothes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No”

“Yes, and I can do this all day.”

Trying to defuse the situation I joked.

“What is the magic word?”

“NOW!” Kendi said firmly.

Whatever tracks I was in; I came to a stop in them. I turned to see a nude ‘She’ with her hands on her hips.

“I said, now! And I meant it.”

“Because?”

“Exactly.”

“I was asking for a reason, not agreeing with your previous reason for me being here.”

“And I was answering that way.”

“I don’t want to be naked.”

“I know.”

“Then why?”

We stared at each other for a second.

“Because.” We said it at the same time!

“I don’t want to be naked.”

“I want you to let go of your fears and you’re wearing a very big one.”

“What?”

“You are afraid to be seen naked.”

“Afraid? No. Ashamed? Probably.”

“Why?”

“Look at me!”

“I have been looking at you for months.”

“Not naked. Or are you smart and sneaky and a peeper?”

“I don’t need to be a peeper to see you.”

“I know, it is very obvious that I am fat and sloppy and a slob. You don’t want to see my apartment. Hell, one of my co-workers even accuses me of driving my purse.”

“Mick! Did Mick O’Dell save my life or did the fat?”

“But...”

“No! Was it the man or his body?”

“But...”

“Answer me!”

All this time I was staring into her eyes and ‘She’ into mine.

“It was the man.”

“Right, the man. The same man who refuses to look at my body when it is on display for him. Because he is honorable and damaged and ashamed of what he has done to his life. HE is ashamed that he has let his life, and his relationships, and his body go to shit.”

She paused a long time before continuing.

“Well this week we start taking your life in a new direction. So, get naked.”

In my younger days had a ‘She’ walked into my bedroom and said, “Get naked”, I would have been before she finished the sentence. Today, I did what may have set the Guinness Book record for the slowest strip by a male.

The shoes were first, followed by the socks. The pants were third and then I stopped. Polo shirt or underwear? Fuck. I dropped my underwear and stood there half hoping that would be enough.

“I’m waiting.” Kendi still had her hands on her hips and was still staring into my eyes.

I sighed and with an amazing sense of shame and resignation, I pulled the navy polo shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor.

“Now, when I count to three you are going to put your arms out to the side and slowly turn in a complete circle. While you do that, I am going to look over every inch of your naked body. I am going to see every fat roll, every crevice, every blemish you have. I am going to take a good look at your penis and your balls and your ass cheeks. Ready? Turn!”

I obeyed her command and slowly began my turn to the left. She didn’t make a sound. She didn’t gasp at the size of the fat rolls on my sides. She didn’t say a word about my man boobs, and she didn’t say anything about the fact that my fat stomach hid the size and shape of my penis. When I finished my pirouette, I stood there waiting for the belittling.

“Now, you do the same thing for me. I am going to turn, and I want you to examine every part of my body. I want you to see the cheese on my thighs and the two different sizes and shapes of my breasts and the fact that my nipples are two sizes. I want you to see the funny shape of my navel. You have already seen the string from my tampon, so I want you to see what my vagina and my labia look like. I want you to see the texture of my pubic hair and even the facial hair on my lip.”

She paused again while her instructions sank in.

“Ready? Here I go.”

‘She’ began her turn and I did as commanded. I looked up and down her body with a critical eye. She did have a little cellulite on her butt and thighs. Her breasts WERE different shapes and sizes, not by much but enough to be noticeable. Her pubic hair was almost straight until the strands neared the end and then they curled. She had dark labia that were more to the front of her vagina. She had a hairy upper lip. It wasn’t Italian hairy, but it was there.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

She finished her spin and then let her arms down to her sides.

“Come on.”

She turned and walked into the living room and I followed. She pointed to the easy chair. It had a towel on it.

“Sit!”

Woof! I was being trained, like a poor lost mutt.

I sat on the towel in the very comfortable chair. Kendi sat on the couch and picked up the TV remote control and turned on the business channel. After a about fifteen minutes, she spoke.

“I can’t believe people can be so dumb to invest in Bitcoin. It is a bigger fake currency than the dollar!”

“The dollar isn’t fake.”

“It is! It is not backed by assets anymore; it is backed by the good word of the US Treasury. If someone like China decides that our dollar is useless, we are fucked.”

We argued back and forth into the commercial break, when I looked at her and huffed.

“You see?” She said.

“See what?”

I thought I had missed a point about her silly view on the dollar.

“We’re naked.”

I blinked.

I was naked.

I was naked sitting on a towel, in a very comfy chair, arguing Bitcoin with an equally naked woman.

“I’m naked.”

“Yup, me too.”

“We’re naked.”

“Yeah, I just noticed. How long did it take for you to figure it out?”

“Just now.”

“Good, now you are getting comfortable with me. If you go to your dresser and look in the bottom drawer, you will find a set of sweats, go and put them on, and we’ll hit the workout room.”

I was naked.

I was wearing sweats.

I was following a pair of tight yoga pants down the hall. They swayed and lifted as they moved. We got on the elevator and Kendi turned to point her nipples at me. She lied. She wasn’t wearing a bra. It was her first lie. I looked down at her two hard nipples.

“You lied.”

“At the time I said it, I was meaning to follow through. I should have said something before we left the condo. I don’t lie as a very important rule. Please forgive me. I will go back and put one on.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I thought that after our afternoon watching TV you wouldn’t mind, and I actually forgot about it until we stepped out of the condo, and then the cool air hit me. My nipples got hard as rocks and I knew I messed up.”

“No, why don’t you lie? Everybody lies. Even little white ones.” I watched her eyes as I spoke.