Chapter 1

“I’m leavin’, you stupid asshole, that’s what I’m doing!”

Tairy chased after me, clumsily pulling open the door to the trailer I had just yanked shut and stumbling as he followed down the dirt driveway. “What’n the fuck do you mean, leavin’? You can’t fuckin’ leave me!” he shouted, words slurred from hours drinking in front of the TV.

“I can an’ I will, Tairy,” I answered, proving it by hefting my suitcase into the trunk of the car.

“But you can’t leave me!” he repeated.

“Watch me.”

“That’s my fuckin’ car!”

“I paid for it!”

“Well then take the car, you slut!”

“I am!” I screamed.

“Alright,” he huffed, toneless half-naked frame still shambling towards me and already sweating in the mid-afternoon heat. “Fine! Just fucking fine, Mary Beth. Some fuckin’ wife you turned out to be. You gonna throw away six years of marriage just like that?”

“The way I see it,” I replied, slamming the trunk shut. “I threw away them years just by marryin’ you.”

“You ungrateful cunt!” He picked up a rock and pitched it at the car, barely missing me. The back windshield shattered violently, spraying glass over the trunk and back seat.

I turned sharply to face him, planting my high heels in the dirt and my hands on my hips and stopping Tairy in his tracks with my furious glare. “Ungrateful? You wanna talk ungrateful, Tairy Elvis Malone?! I been supporting you for years! You ain’t had a job since we moved to Bidby Hills, while I been workin’ my damn butt off at the diner just to keep your drunk ass fed!”

He blanched, the words hitting home. Maybe he realized how serious I was about leaving. “Now honey,” he stammered, “I know you’re upset, but we can work this out. Why don’t you just come back inside with me an’ we’ll talk?”

“Shut up, Tairy, I ain’t goin’ back with you, not now an’ not ever,” I snapped, walking away from him to the car and flicking my blond hair from my face. “An’ you can take your shitty weddin’ ring.” Tugging it from my finger I tossed it at him, the zirconium stone pinging cheaply as it hit the rocks at Tairy’s feet.

“But what am I gonna do without you? Mary Beth!” he wailed. “Don’t leave me! Mary Beth!” With satisfaction, I slammed the heavy door of the old sedan and stepped hard on the gas, churning up dust and stones into the air as I took off. Probably even buried the ring, I hoped giddily. Goodbye shitty marriage!

As the red cloud slowly dispersed, I saw Tairy in the rear view mirror, beyond the smashed windshield, throwing his beer can to the ground in frustration and storming back to the trailer. Fuck him, I thought. I didn’t need that useless prick, and it was a long time since I’d felt different.

We grew up right near each other, dated all the way up through junior high, and then married when we dropped out at 15 - we both wanted kids, but as time went on I ended up working to support Tairy more than the other way round. When we’d moved up north to Bidby Hills two years ago, Tairy gave up even looking for jobs, and spent most of his time either boozing or playing cards with the other guys from the park or both. I sure wasn’t about to let myself get knocked up by a hopeless drunk while I was the only one working, and it didn’t look like that was going to change any time soon. Well, fuck him. I wasn’t a 15 year old kid any more, and he wasn’t the only man in the world. I wasn’t about to put up with his shit.

“And fuck Bidby Hills Goddamn Trailer Estate,” I muttered as I pulled onto the park’s main road. It was a desolate, dry place: barely a tree or patch of grass for miles around, unless you counted the AstroTurf laid out by a few of the park’s more affluent residents.

Finally I saw the main gate rise into view: the ‘D’ and ‘Y’ had fallen off the rusted iron structure about six months after we arrived, but no one had claimed responsibility and the park’s owner had decided, typically, that it was obvious enough what he intended it to say meaning there was no rush to fix it.

Through the gate I could see the track twisting down through the hills, towards the town and the highway, my new life rolling out for a thousand miles in front of me. In countless phone calls, my mom kept telling me I could do better than this place, and I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to. I could even go back to high school - get my diploma and really do something with my life. Maybe even take some art classes like I always wanted.

Suddenly, as the shadow of the gate flickered over the car, I felt a sharp pain in my ankle, a pain like being burnt with hot wire. I cried out and pulled the car over and looked down: it was the anklet Tairy had given me, the spoils of a card game not long after we moved to Bidby Hills. Damn thing, I thought, wishing I’d remembered to throw it at him too.

I reached down to take it off, but couldn’t find the clasp: the mock silver, trinket-laden chain didn’t seem to have one. Yanking at it I wondered if I could break it off, but none of the links felt like they would give. Whatever it was made from it was strong, but it could wait - maybe I could pick up some wire cutters on my way through Griffith.

I wiped the sweat from my face onto my shirt sleeves and was just about to fire up the car again when I glanced into the mirror and saw the glimmering park framed by the remaining glass shards of the back windscreen, roads yawning back into the baking haze lined with trailers - enough for almost two hundred residents. Two whole years of my life were about to be left behind. As much as I’d grown to detest Bidby Hills Trailer Estate (almost as much as my marriage) I had friends there. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

Cautiously, I opened the car door, checking to make sure Tairy wasn’t around, then reached into my bag and touched up my lipstick and eyeshadow in the mirror. There were a few people I just had to see - it would be rude not to.

Walking back down the main road, I shielded my eyes from the sun’s glare, and cursed myself for not simply driving back in. Eventually I turned off toward my friend Hailey Mae’s trailer, wishing I’d thought to change into something sensible before beginning yet another argument with Tairy. Instead, I was crunching through the dry air and dirt in 3 inch high heels, wearing one of his ratty old flannelette shirts tied off below my modest breasts and a pair of jeans cut so high the pockets were visible.

I knocked on the screen door, which was soon opened by Gene, Hailey Mae’s husband, dressed in boxers and a tank top. “Well, hello there Mary Beth. Come in, come in,” he drawled, gesturing inside, beer can in hand. “Come in, girl. Hailey Mae went to do the shoppin’ but she’ll be back soon ‘nough.”

Walking gratefully into the cramped trailer, I picked a path through the cans and empty crisp packets that littered the floor. It wasn’t the cleanest trailer in the park (Hailey Mae never had been much for cleaning) but at least it was out of the sun. Gene had already resumed his seat back in front of the television, and I eased down next to him.

“I, uh,” I began hesitantly, trying to figure out how to tell Gene I was leaving Tairy, one of his best friends in the park.

“You alright darlin’?” he asked. “You look all flushed. You want a beer or somethin’?”

I did feel flushed, I thought, and a little dizzy. Probably the heat. Bidby Hills was dry and hot at the best of times, but today was scorching. “Water,” I replied. “Water would be nice.”

“You know where the cups are.” Without looking away from the TV, he motioned toward the trailer’s poky kitchen.

I sighed and attempted to stand, only to find myself plonked back on my ass all of a sudden, head spinning. Gene didn’t notice. Taking a deep breath, I slowly stood and stumbled my way to the kitchen, managing to get as far as taking a sip of water before the dizziness overtook me again and left me grasping for the countertop.