Chapter 3: Conversation between Spot and Marian

Of course I couldn’t sleep - not with Herbert on the couch. At one thirty I called Herb. He was asleep and I had to wake him.

When I told him about Spot, he just sighed and admitted that he knew all about his sister. That went over like a lead balloon with me!

How could I be the only one who didn’t know my daughter was living a deviant lifestyle with a subhuman who allowed her to act out some sort of crazy fantasy?

Herb told me he had to go back to bed. He explained he had to be up for work in a few hours but if I wanted to know more about Spot, all I had to do was watch a couple of her YouTube videos or visit the production company’s website. He then said goodnight and hung up on me. My oldest son hung up on his mother!

I was tempted to call him back and explain that I now knew the company Spot worked for made pornography and I would never ever visit their website. I even dialed the first few digits before I hung up our bedside landline again. Herb was right. I shouldn’t make him pay for what my daughter was doing.

The next morning Herbert was short with me and made no attempt to apologize for his behavior. We hadn’t had an argument that had endured a whole night in more than ten years. Herbert always admitted fault and begged forgiveness. This time things were different. He bluntly stated this wasn’t about keeping me happy but being happy for his daughter.

That he didn’t apologize meant a great deal of something to me. He thanked me for breakfast, kissed my cheek and told me he loved me on his way out the door, but I could still feel how upset he was with me. I just wanted my loving, supportive husband back.

I spent the whole day as I worked around the house thinking about what Herbert had said last night and this morning. I finally decided that maybe he had a point and I just wanted Spot to be what I wanted her to be, not what she wanted for herself. That was a truly bitter pill to swallow.

When Herbert came home from work he gave me a perfunctory kiss on the cheek and looked at me critically, as if hoping to see I’d come to my senses. For the first time in years, it was I who apologized to Herbert.

That evening we had a facetime conversation with Art who was traveling in Europe for his job. He’d already heard from his brother and beat me to the act of bringing up Spot. He even called her by her new name.

When he asked if Spot had been dressed when we’d gone to her and Steve’s mansion for dinner, the question confused me. Of course she had been! That’s when Art admitted that her being dressed was more the exception than the rule.

He told me how the first time he’d visited them (I was shocked all over again that he’d already been to see Spot) he’d been greeted by an extremely naked sister and how uncomfortable he’d been.

It had been his suggestion that Spot at least be dressed in street clothes when she finally introduced us to her lifestyle. That had been six months earlier.

I was devastated that my own son had kept his knowledge of Spot’s goings-on a secret for over a year in total. They’d just assumed I wouldn’t be as supportive as they were and that hurt too, especially because they were right.

By the time we’d exhausted conversation about Spot, I’d learned that she actually had a following on YouTube and her employer’s website; a following that generated a tidy monthly income at least three times what Herbert was earning. An income doing Satan’s work, I assumed.

Sunday in church, I requested a minute of pastor Leon’s time. I was thankful Spot and Steve hadn’t come to services and the first thing pastor Leon told me in private was that the couple had specifically stayed away until they knew they’d be welcomed.

I shared with him how Spot was earning her living and instead of being as outraged as I’d been, he reminded me that some of the most revered historical figures in the Bible had been slave owners and prostitutes.

He admitted that he already knew of at least two prostitutes in our own congregation but refused to share who they were. I’d had absolutely no clue! It was almost enough to sidetrack me, finding out who the whores in our church were.

Pastor Leon explained that earning an honest living doing something that was frowned upon by ‘people like me’ was not evil in and of itself but was rather a way to make ends meet for some. That they revered God and praised him, living by His rules as much as possible, was the important thing. He reminded me that being a prostitute would not prohibit a believer from entering heaven.

It was pastor Leon who got me back on track by reminding me that from what I’d told him, Spot wasn’t even a real prostitute but rather a celebrity. That admission shook me to the core.

I asked him how I was supposed to live with myself, knowing I’d raised a daughter like Spot. To my surprise, it was pastor Leon who was confused by my question.

He wanted to know how I could be anything other than proud to have raised a daughter who was clearly succeeding in her chosen profession.

I told him bluntly that Spot’s profession was wicked. Pastor Leon respectfully disagreed. He pointed out that what she was doing was not illegal, was generating a good income and that Spot wanted to publicly devote her soul to God.

That she also lived as what he called a submissive ‘furry’ was unimportant to God.

How could everyone around me not see Spot’s lifestyle as sinful? How could every person that knew, be on Spot’s side? Was it really possible I was the one who was wrong? Could my daughter and Steve actually belong together as a real couple? Was Steve evil incarnate for accepting Spot’s lifestyle choices or had been overreacting since I’d discovered my daughter’s deviancy?

I had a lot of praying to do and I spent the rest of the day doing exactly that.

Monday I took myself back to Steve’s house uninvited. I needed to talk with Spot again. I needed to apologize.

I rang the bell and the door was answered not by Steve or the liveried waiter who’d served us dinner, but by Spot herself.

She was wearing a studded collar, carried a squeaky bone clenched between her jaws and that’s all. She was otherwise as naked as the day she’d been born and not at all embarrassed to be answering the door to an unknown visitor!

I certainly went off on her! I know I was there to apologize for interfering with her life, but this was beyond the pale! She couldn’t just answer the door and show everyone her privates! What if it had been a policeman?

I pushed inside and took control of the front door while Spot was still processing who it was who’d rung the bell.

Leaning against the closed door, I asked Spot what she’d been thinking and before she could answer, explained that it was not okay with God for a person to walk around undressed.

I asked her if she hadn’t learned a single thing about appropriate behavior growing up and then jumped right on to clearly explaining that her actions didn’t just embarrass her, they embarrassed whoever she was interacting with.

I really let her have it with both barrels as she looked back at me waiting to be given a real chance to apologize for her behavior. Except she didn’t apologize.

She seemed to sense when I’d finally run out of reasons for being angry at her and gracefully, like I imagined a ballerina would, dropped to her hands and knees, still clenching the rubber bone.

Spot started swishing her hips back and forth and made her eyes wide. Again I had the sense that I was seeing a human animal hybrid. She looked just like a happy puppy showing off its favorite chew toy to a stranger.

Now I was the one speechless. I just looked down at her, not sure what more to say. It was probably just moments but it seemed like minutes before I realized she wasn’t just swishing her hips back and forth but there was a tail moving from side to side behind her even though she was naked!

My first thought was, what had Steve done to her? Had he had a plastic surgeon connect a prosthetic tail to her tailbone? Were the pair of them so serious about this that they’d done something to deface God’s creation?

Exasperated, I told her to say something. She kept looking up at me lovingly without a word. Then I remembered what Steve had done the evening we’d had dinner here and I told her, ‘speak’!

Spot dropped the chew toy and enthusiastically greeted me as if she was glad I’d dropped in unexpectedly.