Chapter 8: Bailey - The Young and the Reckless

The sun came up, birds were chirping, everything in the world was where it was supposed to me. I showered without getting my hair wet and was ready for school fast. My brother didn’t tease me at breakfast. Becky and Addy were chatty on the bus to school and I remembered why I loved having them as friends. I was totally fine. Everything was how it was supposed to be.

Except that under it all, it wasn’t. I’d been letting my homework slip, sometimes I did a rush job and I even got a couple zeros. I spent all day doing homework for the next class so I didn’t really pay attention in lectures. Most teacher’s didn’t really notice, since I wasn’t being disruptive. Mr. Wainwright did, though. He didn’t say anything, he just paused at my desk during lecture until I looked up to him. He had a concerned look in his eyes and I thought he was going to say something about why I had my math homework out in history, but he didn’t.

Everything was fine. No one knew that I had tasted my brother’s cum. No one knew how completely fucked up I was, letting an old man grope me for money. Here, I was back to being a nobody, and I was okay with that, I guess. Except, being fucked up wasn’t so bad. I kind of felt different, better even.

“God, I’m so done with this. Last hour was pfft, head desk,” Adrianna complained.

“I know, right? And then he was all like surface area surface area, but like, what does that have to do with anything,” Becky agreed.

I nodded with a smile.

“You know what I could do? I want to go see a movie after school,” Addy suggested.

Rashmi piped in, she slipped in between me and A&B. “Ooh that sounds like fun, there’s a new one out that totes I wanted to see, Every Day.”

“What movie?” I asked, behind her.

Rashmi looked back to me, “The movie is called Every Day,” she continued to B & A, “It’s supposed to be this really cool romance about this girl and her soulmate is like, a spirit.”

Becky scoffed, “Ugh, so like, she falls for a ghost?” Addy and I giggled, and she continued, “How does that even work? You know, it’s like, ‘Oh I long to kiss you but like you have no lips. I guess we’ll just stare longing at each other until, I dunno, I get old and die?’”

I offered, “Twilight did vampires and werewolves.”

“Right,” Becky added, “I swear they are running out of monsters to romance.”

Rashmi shrugged, “Look, I don’t know, all I know is it’s supposed to be good, that’s just what I’ve heard. I want to see it, give it a chance. I mean if I have to go on another date to a superhero movie, I’m going to start cutting.”

“Ew!”

“Whatever, I don’t even care, they could be showing a monkey faced dog butt movie, I’d rather watch it than go to seventh period,” Adrianna announced.

Becky grinned, “Well, if you want to ditch, now’s the last chance.”

We all filed in to class. In moments we all decided we were going. It was mostly hand signals and nods, Rashmi reminded them that they were supposed to run, Addy didn’t want to today, Becky sent a quick text to Constance and gave us a thumbs up before class started. I guess we were going.

Good thing I had the hundred from ... work. But I wanted to spend that an outfit! Becky managed to text me in class. “Hey smileyface I got u 4 2nite no stress heart heart heart“ She was offering to cover me for the movie. You know, cause I’m white trash and her dad has a real job. She was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to come.

Without looking at my phone, I texted her back. Didn’t need her money and I was in. We ended up going in a big group, Addy dragged me excitedly, where we met up with Constance in the parking lot. I guess Constance was dating a senior named Kurt now, and he had a truck. Constance rode up front next to him. Bailey and Addy went with one of his friends in his car, and I ended up in the bed of the truck with a couple Kurt’s buddies. The first was Lucas, his hair covered half his face in a concerted effort to proclaim him dark and mysterious, while his nose had other thoughts and acne. The second was Phillip, whose spirit animal would most certainly be a bear. Not an ursine grizzly ferocious type bear, but a bear necessities Baloo disney type bear. I expected to hear him whistling the tune as he lay down in the bed of the trunk with his belly up and his cares away.

There are days where you define yourself, days that are meaningful, days that matter because something momentous happens. Then there are the days in between, like today; Boring, normal, nice, real life days. I guess if I was exactly as I seemed, today would be momentous. I was out with friends and some boys. Sure the only one who seemed to look at me was kind of tubby, but at least he was smiling. I should have been thrilled, at the prospect of being out and going to the movies and just being free and young or whatever, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t ‘engaged’ like my mom would say.

Even when we were walking in a big clique, I was part way checked out.

“Ew, did you see that?” Becky hissed out. At our questioning, she pointed out a major creeper alert. This fat old guy was apparently totally staring at us as we walked through the mall. “This guy’s eyes are glued to our asses.” She made a face and a couple guys sniggered. Addy shuddered in disgust. I figured, what’s the big deal, but I didn’t say anything. At least he wasn’t doing anything, just looking...

I was curious about who’d be bold enough or compulsively icky enough to stare brazenly at a group of teens. I looked but Addy elbowed me in the ribs to not look. Too late, I saw the old guy.

“Oh god,” oh crap! It was Mr. F, just sitting there hanging out in the mall eating an ice cream and staring at us - or more likely - me. Oh no, please don’t say anything, please don’t say anything.

“Bailey?”

Constance and everyone else suddenly gaped at me. Okay, it wasn’t all in unison but still, I had to say something now. Or really, I had to lie now. “God, okay, he’s not actually a creeper. You know that new job I got? Well-”

“That’s your boss?” Chorus of gasps. Okay maybe not a chorus, but it felt like it. I think Lucas was picking his nose.

“No, he’s ... My boss’s biggest client.

“Bailey,” he waved his hand and waved me over.

“Crap he saw me, alright, I’ll be quick, sorry guys.”

Big Phil bucked up, “He bothering you, want me to take him out back?” The boys found that funny.

“Really?” I asked incredulous. “No, Phil, just, no, be back in a sec, ‘kay?”

“Oh, Plato’s!” Constance was easily distracted by shopping. That worked just fine for me.

I hurried over to Mr. Fitzpatrick, I had to get this done with quickly. I kept a pleasant smile on my face, “Hi, what do you want?”

“Oh what’s all that then, that’s no way to greet a friend.”

I tried to give him a nicer smile and said, “Hello Mr. Fitzpatrick, how do you do?”

“Much better, such a pleasure to run into you, I can see you fidgeting, you should try to be a little less nervous in front of your friends. Enjoying the money you earned?”

I nodded, “Yessir.”

“That’s good, that’s good. A good work ethic is key to success. You know I have some more business lessons to teach you the next time you’re ready to work and learn. I suspect you’ll be very happy about the rewards to be gained.”

God, I didn’t want to have this conversation here out in the open. Especially not with my friends just steps away. He was keeping it vague, which was good, but I couldn’t keep them waiting. “Okay, I should really get back, though.”

“Why the rush to get back to your friends? Oh yes, High Schoolers and your pals. Funny think about your teenage friends, at that age friendship can be so fickle. I wonder how many of them know the real you.” He smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye that gave me a cold shudder. “Have you? Have you shown them the real you?” His eyes devoured me, “Oh somehow I doubt that, though I wonder what would happen if you were honest with them. Ah well, relax, go back to your little playmates, we can get work done later on.” He licked his lips. Christ, the way he was looking at me, everyone was going to know something was wrong. I had just about turned to leave when he added, “Triple tonight only, plenty of work in the warehouse. Door 54 you should find it unlocked.”

Triple? I walked back a bit confused. He was being vague, but apparently seeing me with my friends was enough to get him to call me out in public for a meeting. That was ... not cool. Honestly, I’m just glad no one seemed to be listening it. The whole thing felt super sketchy.

“What did he want?” Becky asked with equal parts concern and disgust.

I rolled my eyes, “Just more crap to clean and fix. I swear he’s a total slave driver.”

We looked back to see him preoccupied with his food. “Ew. If that was my boss, I’d totally quit.”

“He’s not my boss, Becky. Just-”

“I know, client whatever thingie, Whatever, still, all I’m saying is if that was my boss, no.”

We rejoined the group and after a few more passing references, Mr. F was a thing of the past. I was back in the adolescent world where I belonged and didn’t fit.

We ended up being 2 huge groups when everyone congregated at the movie theater, so of course we split up. Constance and most of the group went to a superhero movie. Addy, Becky, and I went to Every Day and I was surprised to the Lucas, Phil, and another guy join us. I ended up on the end with Phil, who was talkative. I think he liked to hear himself speak so I let him. Afterwards we hung out and talked about it, talked about life, love and happiness. It was really nice I guess. Lucas pulled up and went to get his skateboard from the truck and Addy went with. I ended up hanging out with Big Phil outside the pita shop.

“That’s why I think the movie was a metaphor. It’s like, finding love over a lifetime, but compressed, so she’s living every day as a new relationship. It’s like accelerating life.”

“That’s an interesting take,” I nodded.

“But you think something different.”

“No, not really. I mean, it’s interesting. I guess I just thought, if it is going to be a metaphor of change and love then it’d be more of a theme. Something like, when you are in love with a person, it’s not about the static image of that person, everyday people grow and change? You know? It’s like, everyday, the person you love changes and that’s good. Life is growth and change, nothing is ever the same, but love ... It’s living. It grows. It’s beautiful.”

He smiled at me.

“What?”

“You’re not like other girls.”

“What do you mean?”

He suddenly leaned in to kiss me, and I leaned away. His lips missed their mark and flattened against my cheek. Awkward and passionless, he pressed them in and I stared at him. What the hell? I shrunk out and got up. We were not exactly alone in a romantic place, we were out front of a pita shop with people inside looking out. Eyes were on us, all around. After a pause, I took in a deep breath and spun on my heels to face Phil who was just getting up, “I wonder what Adrianna and Lucas are up to.”

Taking the hint, he nodded and followed along. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with him. There just wasn’t anything right, you know? It was just us and awkward silence most of the way back.

He broke the silence with levity, “So that was pretty weird, huh?”

I just nodded, but I had no desire to talk about it. Instead, I just tried to hide within my group of friends. He backed off, I guess, I felt much safer when it was me A, B, and C again. Hiding is what I do best anyway.

I think Constance sensed something, she just intuits things I guess. She put a hand on my shoulder and offered me a conciliatory smile that made me feel better. God, she really was beautiful. If she wasn’t so damn nice, I think I’d have to hate her by some rule of the jungle or natural law. I’d been feeling weird. I mean, both events had me a little thrown. Phil’s attempted kiss was way too intimate for a guy I hardly knew and plus he was just kind of blah. Meanwhile, I was stuck with one word from Mr. F on my mind, triple.

I should have just gone home. That’s what I told everyone I was going to do. I said I had a lot of homework, which I did. We all did. But I was behind more and the deadline for the writing camp was coming up. I waited for the bus alone while the rest of the pack moved on. Phil offered to wait with me, but I turned him down. I guess I didn’t feel safe around him, which was stupid, I know. Really stupid, because I got on a different bus than the one that took me home. This one looped around to Boomtown. I think maybe I was half expecting for him to not be there. I knocked on the echoing door I waited a minute or two before I remembered it was supposed it be unlocked.

Right, genius. I set my bookbag on the floor and clutched my jacket tighter around me. Not for cold, but for the stillness of the graveyard I was walking through. “Hello?” I asked into the hall of oversized tombstones made of ride equipment and spare roller coaster cars. I found its caretaker when a click and a buzzing broke the silence. One of the motors sprung to life and I saw him backing out from behind it.

“Mr. Fitzpatrick?”

“There you are,” he smiled wide, “so glad you decided to come.” He bade me to follow and I did. He washed his hands in a led and plastic looking tub of a sink and black grease, oil, or soot dripped off with the soap. For me, I imagined it to be soot, for despite his easy smile, it would fit that he was a demon caretaker amid a graveyard of abominations. That would make me an unwitting innocent.

He spoke to me about some other business theory. Market rates or durable good, I don’t know, I suppose my mind was getting into writing mode, I just wasn’t focusing on him, but the imagined conception of the character he would represent. My mind is weird.

“Come with me, my beautiful little capitalist,” he threw his arm around my neck and guided me along. I assumed we were going to go into another small room, but instead he just took me over to a side where there was a little more light. “Stand over here, and look at me, yes there.”

He lifted pulled a camera out of a bag and that stopped me, “Wait, what’s that for?”

“For memories, my dear,” he snapped a picture, “You are quite the pretty picture. Do an old man a favor and let me snap a few.”

I hid my face with my hair, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Of course, don’t worry, it’s digital, no one is going to develop any photos,” Uhm duh, do they even make non-digital cameras? It seemed like a dumb statement. “Go on, be my model for a bit, give me a little smile.” The desire to please him overrode my nerves so I guess I just decided to go along with it and tried smiling.

“You make a natural model, so pretty, let me see you smile with some teeth. Give me a real smile, there you are,” he kept plying me with compliments. I guess after a while, I got a little drunk off them. I never fashioned myself a model (har har har), he even laughed at that little joke. But there was something heady about following all the instructions and posing and smiling, and taking my jacket off and having him watch me, look at me, and want me.

I was still posing shy though. I sat down with my knees pulled to my chest and looked at him sidelong. I sat cross-legged and looked up as I blew hair out of my face. He even had me make a really surprised face for some reason. It started to be kind of fun after a bit. Innocent fun having my pictures taken, modelling as a game.

“Tell me, girl, do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

He snorted, “If figures, boys your age are idiots.”

I snorted.

“Trust me, I was once a boy your age. I had no idea how lucky I was to be around a creature so lovely as you. Even if they could pull their heads out of there asses, they wouldn’t know what to do with you if they did get you, yes there’s a real smile. Lovely.”