Chapter 12: Bailey Parties

It’s kind of funny, with everything I’d been through in the past few weeks, you think I’d be really messed up. Despite losing my virginity, my friends, my job, and even more than that, I didn’t feel any different. I’m just a normal teenager. I still check in on insta and fb, I still get up and go to class, well I mean I guess there are a couple differences. I had to wear scarves for a couple days. After I got home I was lucky to see the bruises before mom did. I tried to use makeup to hide them but that didn’t work all that well. Also, I had to hide a baggy of my brothers drugs in my room for the night.

I managed to sneak the drugs back into his locker at school. He probably freaked out in the morning if he checked but they were there later. No harm, no foul. I was kind of curious about them, I admit. Was Brian on drugs? Was he selling them? He had to be selling them at least. What kind of drugs were they? Prescription opiates? Designer drugs? I should have kept one pill now that I think about it. Crap.

Becky and I made up. I am not exactly sure how, one day I was walking by with my head down and she and Addy just started talking to me like nothing had ever been wrong. She didn’t say anything about it that whole day, just talked about normal stuff, she asked me about my scarf, and that was that.

Dad came home and was back for a week, mom picked up dinner from the rib place, and Brian actually came home early enough to eat with the family. We had a real family dinner. Maybe the conversation was stilted. I guess I usually say more. Dad sometimes would ask me about what I was reading and I’d share and everyone would listen. Wow, I guess that hadn’t actually happened for years now. It didn’t happen then either. I guess my mind was preoccupied with things I couldn’t talk about. Still, for 20 minutes, it felt nice to pretend to be a normal daughter in a normal family.

Back in school, I ran into we met up with Becky for lunch and she asked me if we could talk. Addy went on ahead. That’s never a good sign. Quick tip, if someone asks you to talk, it’s probably not going to be pleasant. I was already nervous, “What’s up?”

“I think you know,” she said flatly. Seeing my silence, she added, “We’re friends right?”

I looked down. I guess the past few days were an illusion of friendship. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I raised my eyebrows at her.

“No, I mean it, for what are you sorry.”

My inner voice was clamoring at me to say I was sorry for being a stupid worthless slut. I had been a real slut that day after all. Maybe that’d be best, just admit what a terrible person I am and beg for forgiveness. “I’m sorry for being a worthless ... terrible ... person.”

“Wow, that ... Bailey. Look, I already know what really happened. Just ... if we’re going to be besties again, we have to be honest. Did you kiss him?”

“No!”

“OK, but you told him you liked him.” I nodded. “Did you know he was my boyfriend?”

“No!”

“It’s alright to tell me the truth, I already forgave you, otherwise we wouldn’t be talking. But I need to know I can trust your word. I mean it seems a little suspicious that all of a sudden we start dating then suddenly you who never even looks at boys and gave Phil the freezeout gets all into my boyfriend. You see how that’s weird right?”

I nodded and looked down. She deserved some truth, “I liked Garrett. For like forever. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you two were together, I wouldn’t have said a thing and I promise I’ll never do anything again, just please don’t hate me, Becky?”

She shook her head at me, “Oh Beelee, she slumped back against the locker, why now? Why didn’t you ever say something before? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled to my feet.

“Do you still like him?”

“No, I promise-”

“Don’t,” she held her hand up, “don’t finish that. Garrett and I, we are going to eat lunch, we sit together now. When you’re really over him, you can join us. Until then, just take some time, ‘kay?”

Becky was being the bigger woman about this. That was how Addy framed it. She told me that he told her nothing that first day. After she saw me avoiding her she’d figured they kissed or something. She thought he was cheating. Brian was quiet about it and that pissed her off more than anything and she was about to dump him when Addy got him to admit to her the truth that I’d confessed my love for him. Addy told Becky, Becky got him to tell her, and he told the story about how he resisted and was loyal. But he didn’t want to ruin our friendship and that’s why he didn’t say anything. I never got a chance to say anything so there was nothing to challenge the narrative that I was a conniving bitch.

I mean the story was basically true so I confirmed it. It was probably, no definitely, better than trying to explain the whole truth of it. Everyone had a story already by second hand hearsay and that’s pretty much gospel so whatever.

I mean, AAARRRRRGGGGHGHHHHHH! You know? Stress! I felt weak and spent after lunch with Addy. My nerves were wrung out, and I was about to head to Mr. W’s class.

I guess I was supposed to act like a love sick puppy for him. A love sick puppy who promised never to seduce him again. A love sick schoolgirl who got thoroughly fucked by the hidden beast inside her mild mannered teacher. I never would have imagined how interesting Mr. Wainwright really was. He was this incredibly smart man, so kind and thoughtful, but boiling under the surface was a raging conflagration of passion. A passion that had him thrusting in me over and over again, filling me and driving out all thoughts from my head.

I let my mind wander through the whole of class. I guess Mr. W. noticed once or twice that I was touching my lips as I watched him. God, if he could only know the nasty things I was thinking about. If he could read my mind he’d have to keep me after class and punish me with a long hard- The bell rang and he dismissed us.

“God that class is so boring,” Addy complained.

“Yeah,” I agreed and looked back for one last glance, “boring.”

As for Brian, my sweet brother, I guess he was spending a lot of time dealing drugs but worst of all to Dad, he was late for dinner. My mom wanted to wait. Dad got hungry and started fixing himself a plate and she cut him off. He got a beer instead, cracked it open and stared at her. I felt the room get colder and curled a blanket around me. After I got back from my school, I hadn’t gone for a run. I probably could have used the stress relief but since I hadn’t any of the fun kind of stress relief, yesterday I’d gone six miles so I needed a day off.

When the yelling started, I curled up into a ball and checked out. When they started cursing and throwing accusations, I snuck upstairs and hid in bed. I still felt cold and exposed, so I pulled my comforter and hid in the closet curled up on the floor. I hadn’t done this in years. The closet was a lot smaller than I remember, but I still fit. I used to hide in here for hours, even fall asleep. But as I set there in blankets and hearing the yelling I just felt uncomfortable. I wasn’t a little girl anymore, I didn’t need to hide when my stupid parents fought. God, why were they such trash? Why didn’t they just get a divorce like everyone else? Fuck it.

I got up and went into Brian’s room and opened up his laptop. I needed to talk to him about ... well there were a lot of things I could talk to him about, not the least of which was drugs. There was a teacher that knew where his stash was after all. Though after what he did to me, I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to say anything. The bruising was almost completely gone, but the memory of his hands there lingered in a terrifying and thrilling way. No, I wasn’t here to look at porn and get stress relief like that, I was here to find out where he was. His recent texts caught up like breadcrumbs that I followed to an address. Looks like big bro wasn’t coming home anytime soon. His party was tonight, and I had the address.

You know how in the tv shows, they always show the teen sneaking out of her window to go to the party? That’s a bunch of crap. At least for me, it is. I put on the new top I’d gotten with the draped front and split cross back, since it was the most showy thing. I put on the jeans to match and wedges to make me feel taller. I even tried to do some evening style makeup with eyeshadow to match. The party wasn’t till later anyway, so I had the time. Still had no idea where Brian was right now, but I knew where he was going to be. I looked at myself in the mirror, and felt as satisfied as I was going to feel. I really needed more practice at this, or maybe I needed a gbf like they always have in those dumb shows. Well, I still felt better than I had in days, so I threw on a jacket and left.

I felt so much lighter in the clean air outside that oppressive house. This was definitely a good plan.

The address was a mile and a half away from the nearest bus stop, but that was alright. I watched the sun go down before the first transfer and ended up walking alone in the dark. The house was deep behind a fence and large hedges. It was old and a little overgrown with cracks in the driveway where weeds were creeping up. But inside was light and music.

I knocked, but no one answered. I felt less and less sure, but I tried again and just heard laughter from inside. They probably didn’t hear me. I pressed the doorbell and heard the clomping of heavy boots. A man answered, scraggly beard, hunched and muscled, “Door ain’t locked come on in-” he stopped when he saw me and chuckled, “Sorry honey, we ain’t buyin’ no girl scout cookies today.” I froze, and he peered at me, “What are you lookin’ at, go home, kid.”

“Uhm, is Brian here yet?”

His eyes flashed angry but his voice was cool and calm, “Brian who?”

“M- Marsh?”

“Oh you’re Brian’s girl? He told you you could come?”

I nodded, “Well now that’s interesting. Come on in,” he put an arm around me, “We’d all love to meet Brian’s girl.” He led me back in to announce me, “Look here, looks like Brian brought a girl for us tonight. Meet - what’s your name shortstack?”

“Bailey.”

“Bailey, good Irish name. I prefer Guiness myself, but I won’t complain,” I gave a timid wave that didn’t really fit the room, he smacked my ass saying, “Welcome to the party.”

“Hey Fish, don’t scare the poor thing,” a guy with yellow tinged glasses and a cigarette in his hand called out. His girlfriend, or at least the girl who was on his arm for the night added on, “Yeah, she ain’t hurt’n nobody.”

A couple rough looking men looked me over maybe once, then ignored me, three more were in the corner engaged in some engrossing storytelling about some kind of fight. I felt safest joining the two couples at the table smoking and playing cards, since they were the friendliest.

I pulled up a chair and sat down, “Hi.” I felt WAY out of place. Everyone here was older, like adult older, and I didn’t see Brian anywhere.

“So he says to the judge, ‘judge, I gotta git a dee-vorce cause my wife, she’s a fuckin’ naggers.’ Judge says, ‘You can’t just get a divorce for nagging.’ He cuts in, ‘Naw, judge, she’s a fuckin’ naggers! Every last one o’ ‘em.’”

He busted out laughing and everyone else laughed, but I didn’t get it. I chuckled to hide and shrunk in my seat. He made a couple other jokes really loudly, and doubled up the laugh. I felt the heat of a stare and looked up to see a familiar face. Robby Webb, the football player who came to visit Brian before was scowling. I smiled and waved at him and he did a double take.

The joke teller kept laughing, “Ain’t that right Bobby?”

“Yeah,” he breathed out with a straight face, “No offense. Hey Bailey, ‘sup girl?”

“Oh, you know Brian’s ladyfriend?”

Robby blinked for a second, but only for a flash, “Yeah, oh yeah, we met before, I saw you over at his place.”

“Oh, so you’re Brian’s girlfriend?” the laughing man’s girl asked me.

I got a little flustered, I we had done things that a boyfriend and girlfriend do, but no, it’d be weird if I said yeah, then he told them I was his sister. Oh god I really didn’t want them to find out about everything I was thinking, no. “Oh, no, god no I’m not his girlfriend-”

Robby cut in, “What she means is, they’re not exclusive,” he came up behind me putting his hands on my neck and shoulders giving me a faux backrub, “She’s free as a bird, ain’t that right.” He gave me a meaningful squeeze and I could tell from his tone I should be following his lead.

A little confused, I went along, “Well yeah, I mean you know, I like to date around.”

That made the other guy smile in a creepy way, and the joker just grinned, “Well alright then, you do that.”

“Oh, to be young again,” his girlfriend said.

“The hell are you talking about, woman, you ain’t even thirty yet.”

Robby pulled me away, “We’re going to get reacquainted,” he kept talking as we walked to another room, “You know I’m surprised to see you, glad to, but surprised.”

“Oh, you know, I like a good party.”

“How’d you hear about it anyway?”

“Brian told me.”

“He invited you?”

“Not exactly.”

He smiled, looking off, his amusement grew into a chuckle, “Yeah well, in that case, let me have the honor of being your guide for the night.” I didn’t see any harm in it, so I smiled and nodded. “First thing to show you is, the pool room,” He slid open an flimsy accordian style door to reveal a pool table. “Ever played pool before?”

I shook my head.

“Then c’mon, I’ll teach you.”

Robby was surprisingly nice. I mean he was flirty and he’d get a little touchy handsy with me, but never too much. He showed me how to play eight ball and how to set up a good rack. He even got us a couple of beers, but Mr. Gadsten was right, beer tastes gross. By the time Brian came in the room, I had sunk a couple of balls and was feeling pretty good, “Hey Brian!” He looked a cross between terrified and furious.

“Hey, Brian, you don’t mind if I play pool with your girlfriend a little right?”

There eyes spoke back and forth a few moments. I could tell they were having some kind of communication, but I didn’t know what they were thinking. Finally he replied, “No, it’s ... cool.”

“See now, this is the life for a playa. Pool table in your own home. Ballin’.”

Brian joined us, leaning on the table, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you know, when I’m running things, tho, I’ll have a pool room with a pool in it and a pool table. That way I can have Bailey here in a bikini swimmin’ around while I play.” He nudged me, “What do you think, you wanna lounge around in a bikini in my mansion?”

I giggled, “Okay, sure. Wait, do I get one of those big floaty things that you can lay on?”

“Done.”

“Deal,” I giggled. Robby wasn’t actually all bad.

Brian looked at me, “Hey, so Bailey, you wanna head home soon? We don’t have to stay.”

I frowned at him, “No. I’m having fun, I wanna party.”

“Yeah,” Robby piled on, “She’s having fun man. ‘Sides, party has just started, you got something for me?”

Brian sighed, “Yeah sure fine Robby, but later alright?”

“Awe don’t make the g-man wait, B. You know I don’t like to wait.” Robby’s voice took on the hint of an edge. Brian relented and pulled out a baggie from his pocket. It was the one that Mr. Wainwright had taken and I’d stolen it back. Most of the pills were missing from it, but there were a few left. “That’s my boy.”

Brian took my hand. It was the first time he’d touched me since that night. He’d been absent for days and I just never knew where to find him. I’d started to think maybe the voices in my head that always told me how terrible I was were right and that he was going to abandon me too. But he took my hand and it made me feel at ease for the first time in days. “Come on, we need to talk.”

“Let her stay man, she’s having fun she said.”

I looked back to Robby, “Sorry, be back in a minute.”

He led me around the corner from the pool room and I flung my arms around Brian and hugged him, “Hi.”

“Bailey, what are you doing here? How did you even get here?”

A man barked from back in the kitchen, “Brian, getcher bitch ass back here, it’s piper time.”

“Shit,” he hissed, “Just- don’t go anywhere and be careful.”

Careful? Okay, I mean some of the people were a little scary lookin’. I resolved it best to go back to Robby in the pool room.

“Got rid of him quick, huh?”

I nodded.

“Hah, well party girl, let’s have some fun.” He produced a pill from the baggie, took my hand, and laid the pill in my palm. “This is my gift to you.”

“Oh, I don’t think Brian would want me to.”

He chuckled, “Are you kidding? Brian is the one who gave these to me, you saw that.”

“Yeah but,”

“Trust me, just take one and chill out, I promise you’ll have a blast.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a party supply. Guaranteed to brighten up a party.”

“Aren’t you having one?”

“Already took it, baby,” he grinned. He didn’t seem any different, but he did have a big smile on his face. I knew I probably shouldn’t. I knew I really shouldn’t. But then again, what’s the harm, right? I mean Brian wouldn’t hurt anyone, so yeah, okay, this was drugs, but people do drugs for a reason, it’s not like they are just horrible experiences. If drugs were terrible, then no one would take them right? Plus, if I was ever going to do drugs, it’d make sense to do them where my brother could take care of me. It was already in my hand, so I just figured, what the hell. I threw it back and took a swig of my rapidly warming beer to wash it down.

I shrugged, “Okay then. Now what?”

He grinned at me, “Nothing baby, now we just play pool and have a good time.”

“Oh.” Right, it probably take a while to kick in huh. So I racked us up for eight ball. My heart was hammering a little, just waiting for the effect of whatever I took to kick in. When he broke, I asked, “So what was that?”

“Nah-ah ah, no spoilers,” he grinned at me and handed me the cue. “I left the table open for you. Whatcha gonna do?”

I looked at the table and thought about it. Solids were split up more, but there was a stripe I could maybe get in the corner pocket. “Uhm, the thirteen?”

“Alright, alright, let’s line it up.”

I guess whatever we’d taken, he was starting to feel it a little. He was getting all flirty again. He helped my line up the cue, guided my hand, and left his hand on my waist. It was a little distracting with him whispering into my ear, “nice and easy.”

I flubbed the shot, “Hey quit it!”

He chuckled at me.a few shots later, I was trying to line up another shot and he came up behind me. I could sense his body heat against my back and he tilted my elbow and adjusted me without asking. “Hey,” I complained again.

“Trust me, baby, just hit it.”

I let myself go and took the shot. Somehow it chipped the side perfectly and sunk my little striped ball right in the side pocket. “Hey, I did it!”

“Yeah you did.”

“That the first time I got one in the side pocket! Like ever!”

He grinned and nodded.

I jumped for joy and wow, I guess the lights must have turned up a little in the room, or maybe I was a little more in tune, just focusing on the game. Hyped up I went to my next shot, just sure I could make them all in one shot. Feeling goofy, I decided to hit it way hard but the cue just slapped over the top of the cue ball and it barely rolled. I giggled as did he. I never realized how much fun pool could be, but you know what was more fun? When Robby came up behind me and started massaging my neck muscles.

Oh my god, it felt SOOOO good. I can’t even tell you, I just moaned a wow. I managed to hold onto the cue for a good 5 seconds before I dropped it onto the floor, but his strong fingers kept sinking into my tensed muscles working them over.

“So THAAAT’s what they do.”

“What’s that?”

“They make you feel good. Is this what you’re feeling?” I kept my eyes closed as he rubbed my skin.

“I don’t know, what are you feeling babe?”

“My skin feels nice,” oh my god it really did. Like all over too. I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair and revelled in the gloriousness of it.

He reached up and pulled out my ponytail and I let my hair fall around my face. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I moulded my body against him. I wasn’t trying to be sexy or anything, it just felt really good all over. I opened my eyes to see Brian, “Hey Brian! Come here.”

“What’s going on?” he looked to Robby.

I hugged Brian when he got close enough, “Robby, did you know that Brian is the greatest brother in the world, like ever?”

“Is that right?”

I gave my big brother a big snuggle hug, “Yeah, don’tcha just love him.” Fingers ran through my hair and scraped my scalp and I moaned in pleasure. It took a minute to register they were too big to be Brian’s hands. Must be Robby, I figured.

“Are you high?” Brian asked.

I smiled at him, “Totally, oh my god it’s the best. I- Brian, I had no idea the pills did this.”