Chapter 6: Devin's Way Home

Devin woke with a start, but sitting up so fast was a mistake. Her head throbbed and her mouth felt stuffed full of cotton. She looked around, terrified, ‘Where the fuck am I?’

There were two water bottles next to her on a night stand, her phone and her clothes were folded up in a pile next to them. She looked down to see herself wearing a pink mini dress. ‘Right, the party, Anil’s place. Oh shit oh shit, what time is it? I’m going to be in so much trouble!’

She turned to get to the water, and that’s when she felt it. The soreness. She stopped as she realized she wasn’t wearing any panties. ‘Oh god, no please.’ She didn’t want to think it. But she remembered. It flooded her thoughts. The man in the mask - it wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t some fevered high pleasure mind blowing crazy dream. It was real. Some random guy - her thoughts stopped, she didn’t want to think about it.

‘Check the time.’ Her phone was dead. ‘Just get ready and go home.’ She sorted through her clothes and sobbed when she couldn’t find her panties. ‘This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, no.’ She shoved on her clothes quickly, mechanically. ‘Don’t think, just do. I am fine, I am okay.’

Anil wasn’t around, but a woman told her that a cab was waiting out front. She got in it, out of the glaring bright sunlight and the cabby told her she was already paid up, just needed an address. She curled up in the backseat, determined not to cry. As she did, she noticed the envelope in her front pocket. It was fuller than before. She pulled it out and saw there were a lot more bills in it. Her stomach lurched.

‘No, no, no, I am fine, I am okay.’ She wiped away a tears that didn’t exist and wasn’t happening because she was fine and okay. Her skin wasn’t crawling with insects and grimy disgusting slime. She wasn’t sick to her stomach at all. She was fine, totally absolutely normal.

Her forehead clunked against the side window. Though she wished she had a pair of sunglasses, at least the coolness of it felt good against her forehead. She focused on that and swallowed down her heart.

She couldn’t remember how many times she’d come home after school, how many times she’d seen the front door of her house. Yet now it seemed alien, strange and quiet, hyper idyllic. Like something out of a Norman Rockwell Painting. She’d read about him when some of her novels had made reference to him. He painted ideal perfect American home life, filled with smiling fat kids bustling around. But this was just dead silent, as if judging her quietly, whispering at her, “Whore. Prostitute.” She shoved her hands in her pockets, feeling the envelope that was proof of her crime and tried to drown out her mind in Normal Rockwell paintings.

She pulled open the door and her mom ran to the door, “Oh my God Devin!” She ran up and clutched her tight, nails gripping into her shoulders, “Devin, Oh my God, where in the name of ever loving hell were you? What happened?”

She looked down, too overwhelmed to speak.

“Devin, tell me right now, where were you? And why didn’t you call, I’ve been calling and calling and nothing, no messages, no text, I called the police, Jesus, where were you?”

“Oh, my phone died.”

“What? Your - your phone died? What are you saying to me, there’s no fucking phones in America, no, what happened, where did you go?”

“I was out.”

“Oh my, Jesus. I- Devin, you go sit down in the kitchen right now, I need to call the police and tell them they were right, I just have an indecorous daughter. You know I told them that you were a good girl, that you wouldn’t do something like this, but it looks like some strangers know my own daughter better than I do. Now, I have to tell these people, you’re right, my daughter is just as bad as so many other girls they deal with.”

Devin nodded.

“Just - go to the kitchen, you’re ... Oh I’m so not done with you.”

Devin sat in the kitchen, where she’d had so many breakfasts before. She remembered her mom bringing out pancakes and squealing for joy. Her mom tickling her and hugging her, and her dad looking over and smiling and nodding approvingly. Like Normal Rockwell. But now she was listening to her mother tell a cop she or he was right and Devin was just a bad girl. A piece of dirt, a worn out used up slimy whore, of course her mother didn’t say those things. But it was true. Deep in her core, she knew it to be as true as the bulging envelope in her pocket attested.

She decided to lie.

“I was at Phil’s, mom, Jesus, it’s no big deal.” That would work. Phil loved her, he’d cover for her, and her mom trusted Phil. It might mean she couldn’t see him for a while, but she knew he’d find a way, they were in love.

“Do you think I’m an idiot? Don’t lie to me, not now, not anymore. Devin, look at me, no- look at me. I called Phil, last night, I called him and he said he never saw you. I went over there because I thought he was lying and you weren’t there. He got worried too. He was here with me and your father, and right now, he is driving back home, because he’s been driving around the neighborhood looking for you. He’s as worried as we’ve been! So you need to tell me - and no more lies, Devin, I’m sick of lies, I need to know the truth!” Her words grew more desperate, and she grabbed Devin’s shoulders with claw like talons.

‘TRUTH’ the word echoed in her head like a church bell, and another word banging like a cellar door beneath her locked and something ugly crawling up pounding its way out. ‘Rape.’

Devin’s mouth opened, but she shoved past her mother and ran upstairs, “Leave me alone!”

“Devin, you come back here this instant! Devin, you come back here or you’re grounded for the rest of the school year! Devin, I’m not kidding!”

She slammed the door to the bathroom, and flung the spigot open, and turned the shower on. She stripped off her clothes as her vision blurred from tears and that word banging up from her inner cellar. That word, that one horrible word.

Her skin crawled with ant and slime. The hot water stung, but she didn’t care, she just wanted it off, she wanted it all off, she wanted her skin torn off her body, just wanted to be clean.

Words like fire burning in her eyes, ‘rape, whore, prostitute, used up’, that was her. That was who she was now. Her bangs plastered against her forehead as she wept focusing with all her might not to cry aloud. More than anything else, she just wanted to be in Phil’s arms, to tell her she was sorry, and for him to tell her it was okay.

There, at last, she caught her breath. Phil. Maybe it could be okay. He loved her, she loved him. He could take her away from all of this. They could go anywhere they wanted. They could run away, and she could marry him, oh God wouldn’t that be lovely? They’d wait till she was eighteen, sure, but that was just two years away, and until then, they could travel together. Wouldn’t that be lovely? Or maybe just get a little cabin somewhere, and she’d cook for him and they’d make love, and everything would be okay.

‘I just need to see Phil. He’ll still love me. Even if my parents don’t.’

Devin shut down.

At least as far as her mom could see. She just accepted the fact that she’d be grounded for the rest of the school year. She cleaned the house as instructed, but her face was just stony. Not angry, not resentful, no fight. She still wouldn’t say where she was, and that was the most terrifying thing for Deborah Fawkes. When pressed her daughter just lowered her head in shame and said, “I’m sorry.”

Piper came by for a run, but Deborah turned her away after figuring out that Piper didn’t know anything either. That’s when Piper started to worry. Back in school, Devin was acting weird too. Not acting out weird - except in Mr. Franklin’s class when she mouthed off a him and called him a perv, which was really weird. She just seemed even more sullen and withdrawn than usual.

On Wednesday, she waited after school to try to catch up with Devin instead of going to track practice - which Devin had been skipping all week. She saw Devin walking off, when a long black limo pulled up next to her. The door opened, and Piper wondered what the hell was happening.

“Hop in Devin, I’ll give you a ride home,” the voice gave Devin a chill that stopped her in her tracks.

“Uh, I’m grounded, I have to go.”

“Oh surely, of course, that’s actually right where I’m going, 225 Sunflower Drive, right?”

“Who are you? Why do you know my name?”

“Devin, Devin, I’m actually here to help you, you see, I have something that I thought your parents needed to see. But then I decided maybe I should give you a chance to make your case. But come in, see for yourself, and then I’ll drop you right off at home, I promise.”

Fear struck her heart, she knew that voice, and the thought of what he might have terrified her. She slid into the Limo, out of Piper’s view and closed the door. The drove off slowly.

He was an older man, some gray flecks in his hair just above his ears. He had piercing eyes and a narrow nose, like a beak. “See this is rather nice isn’t it, us just chatting as friends. Maybe we can be friends, wouldn’t that be nice?”

“Uhm, no. What - what are you going to show my parents?”

“Right down to business then? Oh very well,” he hit a button on a remote he had and a flat panel LCD turned on in front of them.

It was a bedroom. A dark bedroom with swirling lights, but it was bright enough to see her. She was naked, and squirming in delight as hands were touching her body. It was real.

“I found you so delightful, little moppet, your body is so nice and ripe. It was wonderful bringing you such pleasure.”

Her fingers were numb, the blood was draining from her face.

“You were so nice and friendly, see this is my favorite part,” he turned up the volume.