Chapter 1

Tragedy

Toward the end of my junior year, the absolute worst thing ever happened. My beautiful, wonderful girlfriend Jamie decided it was time we started seeing other people, and by “we,” she meant “she.” I couldn’t believe it! Here I thought we were rolling happily along, and then she just dropped this bomb on me out of nowhere. I was stunned.

This is when I discovered that I’m really not as smooth, smart, and clever as I like to think I am. Jamie told me that she knew all along that I had occasionally been sleeping with her best friend, Melissa. She also knew that Melissa was blackmailing me into it. When Melissa told me that she had said to Jamie, “If you don’t fuck him, someone else will,” what she had actually said was, “If you don’t fuck him, I will.” So when the opportunity came up, that is exactly what she did. It seems I was a lot more stoned than Melissa was that day during the summer.

I also learned that it didn’t really bother Jamie. She said that every time the three of us were together, Melissa would tease me, and Jamie would glare just to watch me squirm. She also said that the whole episode where Melissa was hiding in the corner of the room watching while Jamie and I were fucking away, they planned that. Apparently, Melissa just really got off on watching, and Jamie didn’t mind. If only I had known! But apparently, that’s how oblivious I am sometimes.

What Jamie said finally pushed her to break up with me was that she heard I was sleeping with some girl from my school. I wasn’t. Other than Melissa, I really was completely faithful to Jamie. I have no idea what rumors she was hearing, but that’s the excuse that she gave. She never gave me a chance to deny it, or defend myself, or at least lie, just BOOM! Over.

Needless to say, I was devastated. I spent the better part of the next week moping around and being generally unpleasant. Not even the girls I was supposedly sleeping with seemed to be able to cheer me up. Most of my girlfriends at my own school were all paired up at this point, so they didn’t have a lot of time for me. Julie pulled me over to the cheerleader table with her for lunch a couple of days, and they all tried to cheer me up. Believe me, that’s hard to resist. They did manage to cheer me up, at least during lunch. The rest of the time, I was still pretty depressing to be around.

One afternoon, after I had been sulking around for a week or so, I found myself heading into a study period at the end of the day. On my way there, I ran into Carly, one of Julie’s cheerleader friends, in the hallway. She greeted me by throwing an arm around my shoulders and shouting, “Neighbor boy!” That was the nickname Julie and her cheerleader friends had given me the previous summer. It wasn’t just because I lived next door to her, but Julie had told them all at camp about her first time with the neighbor boy. When I showed up at her house in the middle of their little party, they realized that I was the “neighbor boy” she had been talking about, and that became my nickname. Personally, as long as the cheerleaders are talking to me, they can call me anything they want.

Carly was in a really good mood. She told me, “End of the day, neighbor boy! I’m outta here!”

I answered, “You do realize there are still two more classes left, right?”

She replied, “Fuck that, I’m blowing ‘em off.” And then, “OOOH! COME WITH ME!”

I argued that I wasn’t a senior and couldn’t get away with that, but she said, “Fuck it! You’re an A student anyway. Who cares?! Come with me, and I’ll take you for a ride in my new car. We can go get fries.”

There was a little cafe near our school that made the most amazing fries. It’s where everyone went after school. How could I say no to that? So I agreed, slipped out of my study hall after they took attendance, and met Carly in the parking lot.

Riding with Carly

First, let me describe Carly. Carly was a senior. I was just a junior at this point. She was one of the co-captains of the cheerleader squad. She was everything you expect the captain of the cheerleaders to be: long blonde hair, thin, bright blue eyes, a huge smile, and the bubbly personality necessary for all cheerleaders. She also had a PERFECT body. She was five foot six (same as me), had a flat, tight tummy, and a perfect six-pack. Her breasts were big, but not huge. She had the sweetest little bubble butt and legs that you just couldn’t take your eyes off of.

Carly and I had met at a party at Julie’s house the summer before, and we had become very friendly, even flirty, ever since. Carly was actually very drunk the night we met. There was lots of drinking and skinny dipping and chasing and touching. If she hadn’t been the first one to pass out that night, who knows what might have happened? Ever since that night, there was always a tangible sexual tension between us, even when her boyfriend was around. Julie has told me repeatedly that Carly would have been all over me that night for sure if she hadn’t passed out. I keep in mind how drunk Carly was when she told Julie that.

So today, Carly and I blew off our last class and made our way out to her car. Her parents had given her a pretty new red Mini Cooper when she got her license, and she drove it like it was a rocket. We jumped in, and she peeled out of the school parking lot like a Formula One driver. The girl was a maniac! I was scared half to death, but I was definitely cheered up.

Once we got on the main roads, Carly drove normally. I guess she was just trying to show off on the back roads by the school. Carly is a bit crazy but a lot of fun. As we drove, she asked me why I was such a grouch. Of course, I reminded her of what she already knew and filled her in on all of the other things that Jamie had said. Once again, I was bringing myself down, and Carly was just listening and laughing at me the whole time. Thanks a lot!

She looked at me and said, “Awwwww, poor baby,” and then she laughed some more.

While we were sitting at the shop eating fries and sipping milkshakes, Carly told me, “You know Jamie’s right. You really are pretty stupid,” and then she laughed some more.

I said, “Thanks a lot, just pile on, why don’t ya.”

“Well, it’s true! You couldn’t read the signs if we hit you on the head with them!”

“I can read the signs just fine. I get plenty of...”

“Dude, no. You can’t. That night at Julie’s house, when we were ALL drunk off our asses ... if you knew how to read the signs, then you would have fucked all five of us that night. We were all drunk and horny, and you were the only guy there!”

“Oh sure, YOU were the first one to pass out. That would have been fun. Catie and Michelle barely took their tops off when we were all skinny dipping, and they were completely drunk, and Sara apparently never takes her pants off for anyone.” (I was sticking with the lie Sara and I agreed to that night; no one ever finds out what we did.)

“Oh please, we all know you fucked Sara that night.”

“Didn’t happen,” I replied.

“We all watched her sucking your dick!” she said, a bit too loud for the little cafe we were in, “ ... and then the two of you didn’t manage to make it back to the party for another forty-five minutes. Are you gonna tell me it took you that long to get dressed?”

“What you saw is all that happened. There was no sex. Trust me, I tried,” I answered.

“Uh-huh,” she smirked back at me. “Well, you did sleep in Julie’s room with her.”

“Well, that’s not a surprise. You all knew about that already.”

Then she added, “We all know you slept with Michelle after her Prom.”

“She told you that?”

Again, Carly just laughed at me. “No, we told her. She said she didn’t even want to go to her Prom. Julie suggested that she should go with you, and that got her really excited. Then, Michelle and I planned the whole thing. You never had a chance.”

“You planned the whole thing?”

“Julie made sure you would say yes, no matter what Michelle asked you. Does that sound familiar? Then we made sure you would come back to Julie’s house after the Prom. Then, let me guess, Julie suggested you go back to your house to change out of your tux. And Michelle should maybe go with you if you need help. Do you think it was a coincidence Michelle didn’t wear anything under that freaking skin-tight gown? We planned every bit of that right down to getting her on the pill a month and a half before.”