Chapter 88: The Ex-Longest Serving Deacon

With four naked people staring at him in the boardroom of the Redsands First Congregational Church the Area Elder really was at a loss as to how to proceed. Fortunately one of the other elders jumped in to give the meeting something to focus on.

“Well, I don’t know about anyone else but I am dying to see this little door everyone is talking about and to finally hear what Don Weasley has to say for himself about all this.”

Don Weasley shot a nasty glare at that elder - a glare that had daggers all through it. If looks could have killed then that look would have sliced that elder to pieces but that one particular church elder just shot back his own cold steely glare that forced Don Weasley to quickly look away. That church elder then added, “Look I’m sorry, Bryce, I think I’ve helped land you guys in a whole heap of unnecessary trouble. I’ve been having a bit of trouble with the IRS lately and to be honest I probably haven’t been as truthful with them as I should have been. Don here has a sister that works in the IRS department and he promised to get her to help me out if I supported him in all this nonsense with the added incentive that he would say nothing to the IRS himself if things went according to plan. But I can’t buy into all this any longer and see you guys suffer. I’ve got nothing against the church being all progressive and culturally relevant on all this Lifestyle Nudism stuff and I was just trying to help Don out a bit and also keep myself out of a bit of hot water in the bargain. It was also me that leaned on these other guys to go along with all this just for the sake of appearance. I don’t like the idea of the church elder-ship board being divided over serious issues like this but I equally don’t like seeing good people hung out to dry just because I’ve been involved in some slightly shoddy business deals along the way.”

This one particular elder then addressed Don Weasley with, “I’m sorry, Don, you can tell the IRS whatever you like about me. I won’t go along with this charade any more. I don’t know how these other guys feel about this matter but that’s how I feel. Now if you will excuse me I’m going to take a look out the back to see for myself if all this secret squirrel stuff is really true.”

By this time Don Weasley’s mouth was opening and closing but with no words coming out. His eyes were also jumping from each of the elders’ faces and back to the Area Elder’s face looking for some sort of a clue as to what he should do. Eventually Rufus Winthrop just said with a somewhat resigned sigh, “Well ... arrrr ... I guess that pretty well wraps things up here. But before I go I’m going to have a look out the back too. If everything I’ve heard is true then I guess I will have to send a memo off to HQ recommending that the ban on any church nudity be lifted immediately.”

The guy then gave a sorry sort of a look at Don Weasley and said, “You might have mentioned this door thing to me sooner, Don. If I had known about it things might have been different but I guess it’s all too late now thanks to that final confession from this naked, little girl over here.”

Rufus Winthrop gave Polly Legett’s naked body a quick scan before collecting his things and heading out of the room to have a look through the toilet block out the back of the function room. As he passed through the door he gave Polly a smile and said, “Nice boobs. Just like my daughter’s. She’s decided to become a Clothing Optional Nudist and prances around naked at home any chance she gets.”

Rufus Winthrop then turned to Bryce Unsworth and said, “I hope you don’t take any of this too personally. I really was just trying to do my job and I can also see very clearly now that this church got the right Reverend for the job. This nudity stuff is here to stay and I think I have to admit that you are handling it all the right way. Good luck with everything and God bless you.”

The Area Elder then gave Bryce a solid handshake and Glenda a solid hug before heading off down to the Ladies Toilet with everyone else in tow ... all apart from Don Weasley. That man was busy packing up all his stuff with lots of loud bangs and thumps before stomping off out of the boardroom and heading in the opposite direction to everyone else. He didn’t need to see any secret door out back in the Ladies’ Toilet. He knew all about it only too well. And so he left the building and instantly became ‘the ex-longest serving deacon’ at the Redsands First Congregational Church.